noticed that

1) when I praise someone else implicitly many times I m  putting myself down, very subtle but its there. He has done well, but I haven't,He is a good driver,  He is better than me!
2) When someone praises someone else, even then I feel like/I perceive it as a -ve on me. This is very common. lot of people feel like this, Ive noticed others react badly when I praise someone else in front of them. ( Tip: if u want to bitch about someone, praise them very highly in front of others... they will do the bitching for u :D )
3) We use self deprecation at times for improving the opinion people have of us( to make them think I m humble)
4) Thoughts are linked/tagged by feeling among other things.
our thinking works somewhat like a link list, if u are irritated, brain has a knack of pulling out irritating memories. when sad - sad memories. So thinking gets tainted and gravitates towards the  "mood", and Idont realise it because I m thinking -I am  rational and logical but unknowingly I have come to wrong conclusions and made unfair decisions.
This behaviour of brain is not bad, its actually a very good strategy to link memories by tagging them, Its fantastic. but it can limit our thinking to same old patterns. most used.
5) I find thinking is enjoyable , It is a carrot,an indulgence.. observation is enough to conclude something but I go on and indulge myself and think a lot about it, analyze it :) Ego feels good when I think.
6) I dont/cant buy anything prescious for myself. I have a BIG problem with buying anything luxurious, extravagant for myself( or for anyone else for that matter). So much resistance.  why teak wood? why BDA site? why AC compartment? just make me go in AC 2 tier let us see :D why PVR- we can go to vaibhav? why Bluray why not DVD? why iPhone?  why Gold!My god the sin! :) no no no!
 I m not a cheapskate. dont even check my salary slip or care about interest or about super market bill... but still I m like this.   was using old office laptop and didnt ask for a new one untill absolutely necessary. :-( Grrr... not even my money. didnt throw away old phone ...
7) IFD - Idealisation- Frustration-Demotivation