population sensus :-)

Fathers side
Grand pa - Grandma 11 kids 
11 kids -> 30 grand kids ( 1 didnt have children )
30 grand kids ->  approx 37 + ( max 7) great grand kids.  4 grandkids didnt have any children - 9 had 1 kid
fertility went from 11 -> 3 -> 1.5

11->30->37

Mother side
9 ->  7 had kids - 12 grand kids -> 4 great grand kids -  2 definitely dont/wont have kids, 2 had 1 kid and 1 had 2 kids  
6 grand kids can still have kids - so max 12 more kids , out of this 2 are unlikely to have kids, the other 4 may have 5 kids - making it 9 total.  

9->12->9

Just having your kids married off and having kids well before 1975 has resulted in 3 times the spread of genes are after "hum do humare do" was introduced.  out of 30 grand kids on my fathers side, 3 siblings are responsible for 16 of that and the rest 8 for only 14 kids. My mothers side none of the 9 kids married before 1970s and so stuck to 2 max.  

Lol! I just had to do this analysis, no purpose what so ever. 

Emperors new clothes

Are some of the girls who call themselves Transgender sexist?!

Hope they are all young teenagers, these people on reddit - who say they are transgender - trans men  because they dont like pink, because they feel they are not like other women, They like gaming, or because they are funny,  all the above and so on.

They are not only calling themselves trans, they are also diagnosing others - Oh that girl is trans because I felt the same before I came out etc! 

Because someone does not fit into the gender roles in the society - they label themselves trans!? They are not liberal or progressive, but they are steeped in stereotypes and they are sexist

 If you were black and you didn't like Jazz, would you call yourself trans white? (actually this is a thing, where some kids are shamed and called acting white when they defy stereotypes , so this is not isolated to this case!)

I wonder if these are people who are troubled teenagers with mental issues, Sure there are plenty of people with real gender identity disorder, but I am sure there are lots of confused young people who are calling themselves trans and nobody calls them out because of cancel culture. Nobody wants to tell the emperor he is naked for obvious reasons.

boyfriend?

Husband - This word has so much gravity and weight to it. It means something important. Fiancée does not do too badly. But boy friend?!? Its the same word people use to describe relationships of 11 years olds! For Gods Sake! 

Then 30 40 60 year old ppl have relationships with "boy friends"! They have children with their "boy friends". They dont believe in marriage which is fine but why is that relationship you have been in for 15 years and have 3 kids with - called the same name as a 2 week old juvenile relationship!?!  Why is a grown responsible working man, father, partner called a boy!? or a Friend even?!

LOL! Wrong no?!

I understand marriage is religious, for some it is too regimental, dont want to follow the rules of the society bla bla I am not even going there, but please! a better more worthy name for adult partners please!

ps: Same goes for girl friends and no capitals on purpose.

Kisa Gautami and Savitri

Savithri's husband died very young. Savitri being a determined woman followed him alive to hell, She made Yama the god of death return her husband back to life. 
Where as Kisa Gautami was really traumatised my her sons death, she brought her son to Buddha and asked him to be brought back to life. Buddha asked her to get mustard from someone who has faced no death.  This made her realise death is part and parcel of life and helped her accept the death of her child and go beyond suffering. 
Yin and Yang! Should you accept or Should you make things happen? 
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. 
Wisdom to know the difference! 
Totally unrelated - mythology rocks, It is so part and parcel of my life,  I think of these examples of ideal people and ponder on their behaviour. Gods exist if not in real life, in my mind, They make my imagination and my universe so rich. It is not just lies and false stories, they teach us about life, I love it. 

I couldn't possibly feel worse than u?

There are so many sad things happening around us, George Floyd was killed for being black, Pregnant elephant was fed explosives, Migrant workers walked hundreds of kilo meters to reach home during lock down. It made us all very sad. We have empathy, we feel bad for others , we want to help.

In such situations One thing I want to remember  -  I will not let myself feel more sad, more depressed, more angry than the people actually going thru that.  I will not make this about me - about how sad this has made "me" feel. This shouldn't stop me from taking action or doing something about it. 

I dont know, the point I am trying to make is subtle, May be I suspect that this is some kind of indulgence? 

Do we somethings use this empathy to feel good about ourselves, as an ego boost, to make us feel like ah I am a kind person, I am good person? 

When the migrants walked 100s of kilometers. It seemed heart wrenching to me but they were smiling and walking. Is my wallowing in sadness about this, kind of self indulgent? or Not? I dont know. 

Is calling this pain self indulgent and refusing to engage my coping mechanism ? I dont know.

I was hurt a small cut but bleeding, one girl who saw that felt so bad for it. Silly girl I thought,  but then someone told me they ripped their toe nail ( yeah I didnt even see it happen) and Oh my god! the feeling is no less than nails on the black board, I felt this shudder go thru me. So empathy and feeling pain imagining others in natural to a social animal like us.

But ... I will not let myself feel worse than u. ( I feel this is somehow respectful of your suffering ) 

Corona in perspective

 

Edit: I think one year of pandemic has given a very good perspective on Corona! How I had under- estimated Corona at the begining of the pandemic. Only 1% fatalities!  I thought! Did not think of its ability of mutate and its super spreading ability. They said its like flu!  It is NOT like flu. Flu probably has very less fatality, may be 0.1%? I  Bow to the king of pandemics! In perspective, Corona deserves more respect than what the Govts did not less!  

Latest Image for comparision with other pandemics, It is dwarfed by the other ones. Wonder how the infograhic would look if we adjust it to technological advances in medicine and vaccine (  Ah but Then we will also have to adjust it to percentage of population, so it would probably be in similar position. Also in those days who would be frail enough to fall prey for corona and not killed by some other ailment? Its hard to adjust a modern pademic to historic periods. ) 

All the world govts are taking a lot of action on Corona Virus. This kind of prevention is unprecedented. Work from home, isolation,closing down of schools etc. It is wonderful.  There is a lot of panic and fear and hysteria as well.
I wanted to get my head around the actual danger of Corona virus and how it compares with other causes of death. Kind of get some perspective on the subject... Hmmm!

Why are we sooo worried about Corona again? Isnt it insane?! Look at heart disease numbers in USA alone. Shouldnt we be acting with same kind of urgency and passions about Global warming and plastic pollution?? and about eating good food, about sustainable life style??
Plastic bags were banned from the super markets over a span of 2 years. Recycling was introduced over 4 years?
Reducing fossil fuel over 20 years.
However instant action on Corona.
Compare corona numbers with Animal cruelty - 800,000 cows slaughtered per day! every day!!! every day!!!!

Ok Ok I get it Corona is contagious! Heart disease is not, Road accidents are not. Also its the spike thats the problem, the number of people dying is a lot per day?  ( In western world may be, in India 350 people dying per day would be nothing?!)

Still!  I conclude Human mind is irrational. Even the collective global mind.


More perspective, How it compares with Births(in a year) ? :-)
What do u think? Should we be worried about Corona virus or Over population? ;-)

How it compares to older pandemics, It is still mild, It is not half as bad as swine flu which killed 200,000 people just 10 years ago. And Aids!!

hobby classes

Hobbies seem to be a childhood thing.  100% of the kids these days are sent to classes, 2-3 sports, 1-2 art. Total of 5 classes a week. Also these classes change with age, so an average middleclass kid would have taken classes for Tennis, Football, Swimming, Skiing, Classical Music , instruments , Painting , Drawing , Martial Arts , Drama, Dance, etc. In the US of A the collages also ask the kids what all extra curricular activities they have done.

I find that even tho the kids do all this, Adults dont seem to have many hobbies. It is very rare to see an adult with even one hobby. Also many of these adults had hobbies until they got into a job, even those from the generation which didnt go to classes "I used to paint in school, I used to write poetry when I was in college, short stories.. " yeah... Does life take over..? Is it they got to busy... or its just the interests changed?

So going back, What is the purpose of all those classes and trainings ? Why put ur kid thru all this when You yourself doesnot do any of it as an adult?  Is it an exploration to find the right hobby? what the kid really likes? Is it possible that this generation which had so many trainings will  continue with them as adult? Or Is it infact the expectation - that they will stop this as an adult?These are things u do as a child to pass time, to have fun  to help with other grown up things later? Like play in animals helps them hunt when they grow up. Is it just a trend and peer pressure and FOMO thing which doesn't have any inherent reason?

Exceptions are : Sports among men seems to be the most sticky, some men do play the sports they learnt (formally informally as a kid)
Singing among women
Reading - but that does not need training
Baking / Gardening - common hobbies but this is not what they learnt when they were a kid.
Photography -
Hmm As I compile this list, I think lot more people of my generation want to have a hobby and pursue something ....

I am offcourse an exception. I think its got to do with being Neuro ATypical. https://www.quora.com/Are-grown-people-with-Asperger%E2%80%99s-still-childlike
I do have a lot of hobbies and interests compared to a regular adult, but then again like the children I take 100s of classes but they seem to be for fun/to pass time , very few are sticky.

Also most of my interests are my mothers - I refused to go to classes, music and dance or sports .They say with kids its not what u say but what u do. She had many hobbies - Stitching clothes, painting, gardening, rangoli - Those are my hobbies too, except rangoli.

BTW this was triggered by me searching for some class and finding most results for kids classes! Grrr! 

Sati Savitri

In western fairy tales, the woman the princess is a helpless little wimp who gets into trouble, a Strong brave prince or Knight in Shining armour comes and saves her. They get married and live happily ever after! This portrays women as weak and men as strong, This makes who ever hears it feel like a woman needs a man in her life to save her. Sexist! fine!

In India we have an exactly opposite story - Savitri.
Her husband ( Satyavaan - but seriously Satyavaan who? ) was cursed to die young, in-spite of that Savitri married him. Then as expected, he died on the designated day, but Savitri was so powerful she chased Yama the God death himself  and got her husband back from the dead!  The western Prince just fought dragons, this Lady fought the ultimate villain death!

But Savitri is the epitome of Sexism, How Ironic is that!? Most feminists' blood boils at the mention of her name :-)  Isnt that funny? No Really! Savitri is sexist not a feminist as you would expect.

West has this type of sexism where woman is weak and man is strong and so he carries the womans bags, this has at least some kind of advantage.
India has a type of sexism where woman is not weak she is just lowly!  ha ha!  So she carries her husbands bag! There is absolutely no silver lining to this sexism.

So Savitri was just doing her duty, she is not a Hero for rescuing her husband. She is symbol of this kind of sexism which tells all women that its their ultimate duty to look after their husbands and nothing else and she shows the lengths to which a wife should go to achieve this. 
Can the Prince story be interpreted in the same way? It shows the lengths to which a man should go to please his beloved??  but it isnt is it?

It seems like its not the story that is important, Its how it is told.  You can take any story and squeeze out any moral out of it.  A woman is strong narrative can be used to oppress a woman or a woman is weak narrative can be used to oppress a woman. In fact not just women, men are as easily manipulated  by clever people by being glorified, thats a story for another day. Today may be we should think of how to make Savitri into feminist icon, a Hero  and not a door mat ;-) 

is magic dying? ( rant)

One little girl 4 year old was wearing shoes with wings on them, I said wow you can fly with this, She said no you can't, they are pretend wings....
When I was little did I know pretend? If someone asked me - yes I would probably say the same but I did entertain the belief that I could fly, My equivalent was by doing Tapas I could actually meet Vishnu. I still do :-)
I am not one to entertain superstition, I HATE HATE people who worship banana trees for 7 days to have a son etc. But I love my belief in magic. It fills my heart with joy, It makes me very interesting to myself. It drives my curiosity, my drive to learn. It is very valuable to me.  I don't know how or why I think its different from Banana tree example, as far as I can see, these beliefs only fill the people with fear or greed or sometimes hope( which is not so bad...)
So It makes me sad that kids these days are losing the magic, In the bid to be rational are we killing the magic and imagination? Killing the joy of being? Are we making them materialistic? Not in the sense of wanting or not wanting material things, but thinking in only in terms of what they see and feel vs what may be, what is hidden? the mystery?
Same dread I felt when my friend bought her daughter a flying fairy, It was an ugly plastic toy, with wings which actually flew and hovered in air for a bit.  If it can actually happen Its not magic anymore is it? Just like how much magic is a Skype call vs how u felt when James Bond spoke to M on his watch in the 80s?
One thing for sure ( I am guilty of advocating this just 2 years ago) we are over engineering the kids, not just the kids, we are over engineering our society and our selves as well. We are setting up too many rules to follow and not allowing ourselves to BE and observe .
May be this is just my over reaction, May be people feel the same when I am being practical about Valentines day or the Gift exchange culture? That I have thrown the baby out with the bath water? Are they right? Am I right? Am I over engineering my thinking :D 

Shower scene

Oh yeah! Shower scenes in movies. ( Why do I feel like I have written it before? but it is not turning up in search? )
I was watching one of these old 80s movies on TV, Shower scene..Shower.. water ...steam... woman...boobs! *me rolls eyes*  steamy,  lechy scene, so common in these old movies, even when they are rated 12 .
That's when I realised! Oh my god! How long has it been since I have seen a woman in a shower scene! These days Its  always men isnt it? ( I am not complaining ;-) At all ;-P )Korean dramas,  Hollywood,  even Bollywood, 6 packs biceps men!  How things have changed and how we have come a long way.
It is womens empowerment in a way.  It shows the powers that be have realised that women have pockets too ( or purses! Grr ! thats another rant post ) Pleasing the women  brings in the bucks.
In the 80s the movies are so clearly a mans world,Women are there in the movies as support only and as enjoyment. Butt and Boob shots, upskirts galore!  They just dont seem to care for the women who are in front of the screen watching. The hero, even if he is so hot doesnot take his shirt off !!!

I remember clearly when the tides turned. I was there for it. It was the 90s. Lara Croft 2. I am in the theater, Shower scene, Same ...Shower .. water.. steam .. The theater is going crazy - waiting for wet and nude Angelina Jolie! I am rolling my eyes! These guys! ha! Then surprise!  Its Daniel Craig! Tada!   That was the moment, Turning point in history!  The theater was silent for a few seconds before they started booing! LOL! I was really Rolling on the floor laughing. Servers them right ! These Lecherous Bs :-))
Now. There is cheering when Hritick or Tiger are in the shower even by the guys! :-) Its a body builders world after all :-)
Times have changed so much for the better :-D

old

This is annoying me. Why is old a bad word?
Why is it so common to think that old is bad and young is good?
It is more annoying because of the attitude of westerners to old, Its almost like a swear word or a cuss word and causes great deal of offence!
I have respect for old/older people. Where as young people below 25 are arrogant, clueless and mostly stupid. I like myself better as I get older!  40 year old me is so much more awesome than the 25 year old me.  I would never trade being 40 for being 25. Am I missing something?
Thinking that 25 is awesome because of having a sexier/stronger body or whatever is so superficial.

Has this always been like this? In the hierarchical world, may be 50 years ago when age automatically meant respect and lot more powers than younger was age still a bad word? Did people want to be older then? I would imagine so.
I also feel this kind of ageism is( was ) not so common in India, probably because of the hierarchy thing. Where as in the west the emphasis on outward looks/beauty/appearance is  immense (may be due to the rise of advertising and capitalism in 1800s)
Or Is it same like beauty/sexy thing which others feel but I am missing being wired differently? Is it that, in-spite of all that respect for elders etc  Indians also would love to be 25 ?

Also One thing I am ignoring is old is getting closer to death and decay, it also implies gradual degradation. Fear of death is apparently one of the biggest fears.
I am also afraid of growing old. Its a time of great change and I am afraid of how I cope. I (  I realise I am some how very optimistic and believe that I will live a long life, ha ha! ;)  find myself thinking about preparing for old age, not just with pension and money, but things like I need to be more in control of emotions in adversity and pain, I need to have self respect and identity even when I am retired and not having a job, I need to have spirituality to occupy me in old age, I need equanimity to deal with the world which will be probably moving ahead of me etc etc. yes mostly preparing my mind because if mind if strong we can deal with anything and yes body as well but that is not in our control that much. 

Do women drive badly?

Lady Driver ! - I want to put that as my bumper sticker :-) As a warning! :-O  like the baby on board stickers :-) I think its very funny. I know its sarcastic but I dont know if its a take on  sexists or feminists or both :D

Anyway coming to the question - Do women drive badly ? Is it true?
https://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2014/02/reasoning.html 

I decided to not go by stereotype like people who blindly believe that women drive badly and also to not be affected by liberal blindness and feminist rage :D. People like me so firmly believe in equality that we dont see reality staring us in the face.

I decided to notice other people, take note of the drivers who annoy me who drive badly etc.  I love finding patterns, and I am good at it.

Are all women bad drivers? definitely not.  I drive daily, I drive well for the record. ok but  are all bad drivers women? Definitely not ....but..


Firstly, Genuinely bad and dangerous drivers who are a threat to people on the streets, those to jump lanes, drive too fast, cut you off , weave in traffic etc. Mostly were men. Almost 99% men,  white vans and buses( this sometimes driven by women) , professional drivers who drive every day and a lot, who are exhausted frustrated and couldn't care less. ( but not Uber drivers ) And also young men under 25. I will be politically incorrect and say many of these were Black and Asian men, trying to be cool with beard/jewellery etc. ( This may be due to the area I drive in or whatever )
So the Stereotype is completely false? No actually.
There is another type of bad driver, the annoying driver. They are not exactly a threat on the street, but they raise your BP, They irritate the fuck out of you and make u swear more than the first group because you are too stunned to swear at a real bad driver :D They driver slowly, really slowly, They break suddenly, they stop at the orange light, they turn without indicator or give wrong indicator, they look like they are going to turn but wont.  What is the profile of these? Old people, both  men and women. Very old like all white hair types usually.  and women.  Political incorrectness time again, They were either mums doing school run or  Muslim women in hijab. 
So! Do women drive badly? No!
Do muslim women in Hijab drive badly then? No!
Clearly the main reason for this kind of driving is lack of confidence.  These people are not driving daily, even if they are may be not having equal standing in society affects our confidence and ability to drive?
Did women driver badly in 70s? probably, They had more unequal standing in the society and hence probably lacked confidence.
In my view, Its not lack of spatial awareness or direction sense, its confidence that made women drive badly at the time.
My conclusion is all generalizations have a grain of  truth in it, but it is superficial truth. Instead of just going by numbers and statistics and coming to stupid conclusions, people should delve deeper and look at the root cause or real reason for issues in the spirit of true scientific enquiry.

Extreme/Excess?

This annoys me like hell, like health and safety does. I dont have a name for this. May be it can be called Excess or greed? or indulgence? I want it - I get it?

When I was a kid I liked pink. So, my parents got me one pink dress or may be 2. Now, girls like pink, So EVERYTHING is pink.  Dress to bicycle to shoes to underwear and toilet paper!!! Pink!!!
When I was a kid I liked Dosa, So "when" my mom made Dosa I was happy and ate happily without fuss. I enjoyed it. Now if kids like Chicken, it means they dont eat anything else but eat only chicken. They eat chicken everyday,every meal. Whatever is cooked at home, chicken is cooked for them!
Garlic is good for us - Indian cuisine, add garlic to some foods, Westerners - take a garlic tablet every day!!
Meat makes us strong, we should eat protein, So now we invent Keto diet! we will eat only protein. Carbs ? Eeeeeks!!!! We treat it as if its shit or poison.
Make up makes us look good, We used to wear makeup on special occasions, but now people wear makeup every day. Some even when swimming - water proof makeup. False lashes, fake nails? Fake hair attachments?  This was the realm of movie stars and stage artists. Normal day to day people didnt feel the need to "Dress up" like this.
If you liked shiny clothes, Ok you could wear it for weddings and functions. Today, glitter is in every thing from my eraser to toilet paper :P Thanks for all the micro plastic pollution ppl!
Intimacy - from the age 15 to death, we want someone to f***. In relationship fine, if not pick someone from the pub/tinder or friend with benefits!?

All this is same thing , We dont want to control cravings and we are slaves to it. In this society, Controlling our wants and especially controlling the wants of children is seen as some kind of cruel abuse! *rolls eyes*

phone camera

Thinking about my past in early 2000s I was going for horse riding and Kalari martial art, was really excited about it and about treks too. Very few others did and were even interested. Only thing people were interested in was - did u meet anyone :) Felt like the reason to do anything any class or trek or hobby was to meet someone. :-)  There was a culture of treks, photography etc in Bangalore, no doubt but it was niche.
Now u find everyone wants to do all these things, This explosion of interest coincides with Facebook and Instragram . A judgemental thought comes to my mind - Is it that people got inspired by seeing others pictures  and are doing things Or are people more interested in posting the pics and increase their interesting quotient than actually doing it?
If people stop looking at what they are doing, how many are still interested?
I think its also the need to fit in, lot of people do lot of things because everyone else is doing it. In contrast some people do a lot of things just because no one else is doing ( yours truely may be guilt of that at times ;-)

Also I remember how kids looked when we were small, especially boys, they had summer cut, basically so short no one shud be able to pull it when they fight :) Standard T shirt and shorts, no one cared how they look. We dressed up only for Photo days - once or twice in a year.
Now lil kids are fashionistas, even boys, toddlers with their little suits and ties, Boys seem to have designer haircuts, look so much more expensive than mine ! Is this the effect of constantly having a camera? Parents are under presentation pressure?

Stars and celebrities used to live under the glare of the camera and media before and lead a stressful life, Now have we become like that in our day to day life?
How much of our life is for the camera? Should we get rid of the camera on the phone as an experiment and see?

Vaanaprastha

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanaprastha

Vaanaprastha is this the solution to the aging population problem?
better than this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%84ttestupa ;-)

This also gives a feeling of relief when thinking about the future which seems to extend for long time. How long will my old age be? Whether I will have money, meaning goal etc... these kind of questions are answered. atleast for me, Its good to put an end date to our pursuits.?

My thoughts were already running along these lines when I started thinking about how you would live if you knew u had an expiry date( hehe literally ;-) ).
We have technology and we can indeed live very long lives, but there is stress involved in that, you will live long but we may not be earning.  Save to save for indefinite old age, with indefinite set of health problems, who will take care? Burden on the younger generation etc etc. Old times people had children as support for old age and then now we have pension schemes. Its all not that grim really, but The idea of winding down life style and needs and going into spiritual pursuits is very attractive.

What is VanaPrastha? It means heading toward forest. In old days when any person had their first grand child, it was assumed that they had finished all their worldly responsibilities and they were eligible to go into spiritual pursuits. Go to the forest and live in an ashram, studying or worshiping etc. Some people chose this, some people stayed with families interpreting vanaprastha as handing over responsibility.
If we decide that at certain age - say 55 I will retire in the true sense, if I dont have any responsibilities. Then take up full time meditation. So we dont need a pension or money. If you fall sick in small ways you can get a cure , but if you need care - no care is available just like for wild animals, its The end.
Is it so bad?
Are we holding on too tight to life? Is it ok to let go? Is it even possible in this age - when cure is available for almost everything? Does it feel like suicide to not take advantage of this?
 In a world where Partners in firms who die as soon as they retire at 55 due to lack of purpose.  Is Vanaprastha like giving up?Vanaprashta is not giving up, Its more like change of focus. Climbing Everest and running marathon can be done as part of Vanaprastha no?
Will it be hard to give up on the current life style or wind down? If you are going to live to be 100 then can we live doing meditation for 40 years?

What is the difference between old age home and Vaanaprastha?

priorities

This is how our priorities are. This is the information from 1998. Today I can only imagine that spending on materialistic things has gone up exponentially.  Time to rethink our spending - not money wise but in terms of actual cost to earth.

http://www.worldwatch.org/node/764

Amount of money needed each year (in addition to current expenditures) to provide reproductive health care for all women in developing countries	$12 billion
Amount of money spent annually on perfumes in Europe and the United States	$12 billion
Amount of money needed each year (in addition to current expenditures) to provide water and sanitation for all people in developing nations	$9 billion
Amount of money spent annually on cosmetics in the United States	$8 billion
Amount of money needed each year (in addition to current expenditures) to provide basic health an nutrition needs universally in the developing world	$13 billion
Amount of money spent each year on pet food in Europe and the United States	$17 billion
Amount of money needed each year (in addition to current expenditures)  to provide basic education for all people in developing nations	$6 billion
Amount of money spent each year on militaries worldwide	$780 billion

Was the dinosaur extinction a moral tragedy as well?

We  see reptilian men people in fiction, usually villains, emotion less, cold blooded, calculating cut throat evil and Ugly to boot 😊

Human imagination seems to think that If intelligent life( i.e humans :P )  evolved out of reptiles instead of mammals, that  would be low life, much worse than us. Obviously we would think like that, self serving bias and all, but what does evidence suggest????

Which animals in the world right now are naturally moral?

Monogamy

Equal rights between male and female

Both partners take care of young

Big groups with no conflict - able to get along beautifully in close quarters in huge numbers

Big groups co-ordinate with out any apparent leader hierarchy and not even kin.

Who? Birds.

There are huger groups with matriarchal structures in insects, but those seem to be more automated. Also too far removed from us to actually understand correctly. There are scifi books about insectoid intelligent life with hive mind as well - Enders game. ... too out there for me to consider. so sticking to Dino vs Mammals.

So Birds are actually Dinos right? And Dinosaurs are actually reptiles right? When we studied evolution in school in 80s, We didn't know that birds were descended from dinosaurs and now that we know that .. wouldn't bird people be more beautiful, more egalitarian, warm blooded and much nicer people than us??  even tho they would probably have only 2 fingers like T rex :D ;-)

Did dinosaur extinction wipe off that nice possibility and we evolved from very hierarchical, male exploitative/competitive ( cant say male dominant, It seems to be huge number of females to small number of males. ) territorial, aggressive mammals?

Thoughts from Osterly park lake after I saw huge number of Australian geese fly off in beautiful formation .... Of course its not based on any science or study, its based on my subjective observation. Its pseudo science :D

Ps: Also Bird are kinda sexist but pro female way, look at the beauty requirements of male vs female Himalayan Monal :D

By AJIT HOTA - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=57993244

By Dibyendu Ash - This species Himalayan Monal (an adult female ♀) had been photographed at Tungnath, Rudraprayag, Uttarakhand, India on 14th June 2013 during the bird photography tour of GoingWild.Previously published: Yes, this file has been published in some other social networking sites, ornithology portals and biodiversity portals; I am yet to share this file with other portals and sites and it may be available in print media if required for future use., CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=34855825

Poor - taboo?

We all have different dictionaries, they all contain the same words but slightly different meanings.
 Ocean Waves a beautiful movie by Studio Ghibli, has a scene, the 1960 version of the heroine, goes out of the house without shoes and her father hits her. the one and only time he hit her.
Whats so bad about going with out shoes? Is it Japanese cultural thing? Is it perceived as being naked - bare foot considered as sexy? Kinky Japanese  :-)  I looked up.
Apparently, Poor didn't have shoes and Rich did. So if you went out without shoes its like being poor.
Isn't that shocking? I mean looking poor being considered so demeaning.
I did have an insight about how whatever is considered beautiful actually is just a showcase of being rich, but this is more shocking in a way - being Poor is a Taboo!?
Shouldn't actually be shocking, I have been thinking about this for some days
Swear words like Bewarsi in Kannada - actually just means Orphan. Biknasi literally means pennyless.
Not showing that you are poor is a value in many cultures.
Isn't it really sad, instead of pitying someone situation we actually consider that a taboo a shameful condition. Cultures are ashamed of being poor and we actually look down upon poor people?

My granddad  was poor ! ha ha! See I say this I am extremely proud of the fact how my Uncles and Dad came up in life in-spite of my grandfathers situation.  So tho I mostly dont talk about myself I do say this out many times
How does it sound to other people??? I have never given this thing a thought!  How does it sound to my parents? Do they feel ashamed? Obviously not, I think they are the ones that instilled that pride in our background.
This nagging feeling that everyone does not see this as shining example of positive came to me when someone commented - Oh but you were poor! like in some kind of slur! It didn't register then but its been at the back of my mind.
In Titanic Rose refuses to call Jack Poor. she does not say it. That I couldnt comprehend at that time!
Are other people judging me? Lot of people talk about their ancestors wealth, I am the only one who seems to talk about poor ancestors  !LOL Not true, actually I have some friends who do talk about how difficult it was for their parents and I did appreciate it - had respect for them!
but isnt it so sad, I think its changing, I think now people dont look down, except may be some snooty upper class families and such? no?

My parents are the opposite who look down upon wealthy :))) 

World is clever and changing

When I ( we also - the media and such )  look at trends, dangerous/annoying/stupid trends, We assume that this trend will go on for ever, we draw conclusions about what will happen if this trend continues indefinitely. And these conclusion turn out to be dire.  The graph of such trends tends to end with end of the world ;-) SCARY!!!! We make noise on the social media, media makes noise bla bla. I am not saying we should not do this... but I have started noticing that..
Even tho we assume that the  world is stupid, world is in fact clever and sentient and it learns it adapts
so trends don't continue on to their(our!?) destruction, but they stop.
(may be this can be attributed to all that shouting we did in the above paragraph. so it may be necessary to draw dire conclusions and shout anyway)

Last few years I notice the world adapting and giving up trending and learning.
First its a small group of outcasts making a noise and pointing out that something is not right, there is lot of ignoring, then opposition then with in a year or two, it actually becomes fashionable and mainstream! ,
the dire consequences predicted by the small group never come about because people learnt and people changed! Phew! Thank god!!
Few examples - are gender based kids toys - market segmentation tactics
use of social media - people have become smarter, I dont see the same type of posts any more
gender equality
Most pleasing is the plastic usage

I wrote a blog about my aunts niece doing computer science to get married, that is also an example.

attraction to assholes and submissiveness

The Top Two in my hate list :)
When other women behave like this, I just blow my top. I cant believe how some(lot of ?X-( ) women find assholeness totally sexy. Aggressive, brash, insulting, patronising - this is the popular kind of hero in movies,novels, series and women just seem to lap it up. Fifty shades of Puke anyone! Its not just in fiction, even in real life, lot of girls seem to think this is ideal. Why else would they lap up that crap ( hehe! I admitted my hate okay! :-P )
Ever wonder why? It comes down to evolution and survival again ( Ok, I am skipping all the "I thinks" and peddling my pseudo science confidently! people! I am watching Brooklyn 99 and I am inspired by Gina!) 
What kind of person is the Top guy in any company, the Alpha? The top dog? - Ass hole. The aggressive seems to be a successful personality type, especially in the old cave man person days, Violent aggressive abusive man who beat up people had a higher odds of survival and making a living than a Mr nice guy, right? When a man is violent and bad to a woman, she decided that he is even worse to others so has higher survival rate? Is that why all those stupid women are attracted to jerks and assholes?
This is why it becomes so important to be self reliant and earning woman, would change their whole outlook and psyche and make them go for the nice guy! Yeah this may not be cutting edge science but you know this effort goes towards trying to understand people and all that.
Submissiveness - I watched this movie about makers of Wonder Woman. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women. It is about the really unconventional and controversial life of the writer of wonder woman and the women in his life. Professor Martson, his wife and girl friend are clearly all feminists and very strong and intelligent people, leading a very controversial life in that day and age. They were obviously very courageous as well. Well, inspite of all that, What struck me in this movie was how one of the women, the girl friend, the wonder woman liked to be submissive. When the wife is as outraged as I was about How she or anyone could like being humiliated, the organiser says This is what she is - a submissive. Okay, I do not understand the BDSM concept at all. But it made me think. Is it possible that some people are wired to be submissive ( in normal day to day life non kinky way) and it is not an indication of subpar intelligence or lack of courage or confidence( am I pushing it with confidence?) Just like expecting gay people to be straight is wrong, Is it wrong to expected these people to be non submissive? Should I rethink the number two on my hate list as well? 
Not yet taking these off my hate list, but trying to keep an open mind.