Tell women they are beautiful crap ( rant )

ha ha! Rant coming up after a long time ! Ye! ;-)
Posts like - The real man makes a woman feel beautiful ( VOMIT VOMIT  ;-) Or Advise that you should tell your daughters they are beautiful so that they dont get the feeling that they are ugly. Apparently it boosts their confidence , if you dont tell they become insecure!?!
Really!! Please!!
You should be telling people that beauty is very superficial and not important. In fact, you should not be talking about all the beauty crap at all! There are better things in life. You are just making the cosmetics and plastic surgery industry rich and you are making yourself and your family really insecure!!!
Also,  There is nothing called inner beauty - That model on instagram with flawless skin is really truly more beautiful than you and me. Your stretch marks?  They are not tiger stripes and they are NOT beautiful!  Just because she is physically more beautiful does not make you MORE inner beautiful :D Nature is not a silly liberal school teacher giving consolation prizes to kids who didnt win.
But so what? Not beautiful is perfectly ok, Just deal with it!

 BTW I wonder if such feels as this are in me because I am part asexual, part spiritual, weird hybrid? If I were a normal (  ;-) normal!? One girl complimented me "you are not normal!" and It was kind of best compliment ever :-D. Does not that say it all? ) anyway, if I were a normal woman, would I want other people to think I was beautiful and want them to make me feel beautiful? Is it my hormones which makes me so blessed and above all this crap? No... Its probably  my superior intellect ;-)


ps: This was about an year ago, Again the book Mindset( yes Again!  he he!) validates my thinking. It gives an explanation to the above.
Fixed mindset people value inherent capacity and talent.  Wow She is beautiful! She is intelligent!
Growth mindset people value effort  and hard work and change.  Wow she worked hard and overcame difficulties.
Well the question of hormones aside, I think above is clearly fixed mindset about beauty and hence not good to have. I seem to have growth mindset in this particular area.

Also I hope people know that when I rant I am half joking? 

Sati Savitri

In western fairy tales, the woman the princess is a helpless little wimp who gets into trouble, a Strong brave prince or Knight in Shining armour comes and saves her. They get married and live happily ever after! This portrays women as weak and men as strong, This makes who ever hears it feel like a woman needs a man in her life to save her. Sexist! fine!

In India we have an exactly opposite story - Savitri.
Her husband ( Satyavaan - but seriously Satyavaan who? ) was cursed to die young, in-spite of that Savitri married him. Then as expected, he died on the designated day, but Savitri was so powerful she chased Yama the God death himself  and got her husband back from the dead!  The western Prince just fought dragons, this Lady fought the ultimate villain death!

But Savitri is the epitome of Sexism, How Ironic is that!? Most feminists' blood boils at the mention of her name :-)  Isnt that funny? No Really! Savitri is sexist not a feminist as you would expect.

West has this type of sexism where woman is weak and man is strong and so he carries the womans bags, this has at least some kind of advantage.
India has a type of sexism where woman is not weak she is just lowly!  ha ha!  So she carries her husbands bag! There is absolutely no silver lining to this sexism.

So Savitri was just doing her duty, she is not a Hero for rescuing her husband. She is symbol of this kind of sexism which tells all women that its their ultimate duty to look after their husbands and nothing else and she shows the lengths to which a wife should go to achieve this. 
Can the Prince story be interpreted in the same way? It shows the lengths to which a man should go to please his beloved??  but it isnt is it?

It seems like its not the story that is important, Its how it is told.  You can take any story and squeeze out any moral out of it.  A woman is strong narrative can be used to oppress a woman or a woman is weak narrative can be used to oppress a woman. In fact not just women, men are as easily manipulated  by clever people by being glorified, thats a story for another day. Today may be we should think of how to make Savitri into feminist icon, a Hero  and not a door mat ;-) 

Shower scene

Oh yeah! Shower scenes in movies. ( Why do I feel like I have written it before? but it is not turning up in search? )
I was watching one of these old 80s movies on TV, Shower scene..Shower.. water ...steam... woman...boobs! *me rolls eyes*  steamy,  lechy scene, so common in these old movies, even when they are rated 12 .
That's when I realised! Oh my god! How long has it been since I have seen a woman in a shower scene! These days Its  always men isnt it? ( I am not complaining ;-) At all ;-P )Korean dramas,  Hollywood,  even Bollywood, 6 packs biceps men!  How things have changed and how we have come a long way.
It is womens empowerment in a way.  It shows the powers that be have realised that women have pockets too ( or purses! Grr ! thats another rant post ) Pleasing the women  brings in the bucks.
In the 80s the movies are so clearly a mans world,Women are there in the movies as support only and as enjoyment. Butt and Boob shots, upskirts galore!  They just dont seem to care for the women who are in front of the screen watching. The hero, even if he is so hot doesnot take his shirt off !!!

I remember clearly when the tides turned. I was there for it. It was the 90s. Lara Croft 2. I am in the theater, Shower scene, Same ...Shower .. water.. steam .. The theater is going crazy - waiting for wet and nude Angelina Jolie! I am rolling my eyes! These guys! ha! Then surprise!  Its Daniel Craig! Tada!   That was the moment, Turning point in history!  The theater was silent for a few seconds before they started booing! LOL! I was really Rolling on the floor laughing. Servers them right ! These Lecherous Bs :-))
Now. There is cheering when Hritick or Tiger are in the shower even by the guys! :-) Its a body builders world after all :-)
Times have changed so much for the better :-D

Do women drive badly?

Lady Driver ! - I want to put that as my bumper sticker :-) As a warning! :-O  like the baby on board stickers :-) I think its very funny. I know its sarcastic but I dont know if its a take on  sexists or feminists or both :D

Anyway coming to the question - Do women drive badly ? Is it true?
https://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2014/02/reasoning.html 

I decided to not go by stereotype like people who blindly believe that women drive badly and also to not be affected by liberal blindness and feminist rage :D. People like me so firmly believe in equality that we dont see reality staring us in the face.

I decided to notice other people, take note of the drivers who annoy me who drive badly etc.  I love finding patterns, and I am good at it.

Are all women bad drivers? definitely not.  I drive daily, I drive well for the record. ok but  are all bad drivers women? Definitely not ....but..


Firstly, Genuinely bad and dangerous drivers who are a threat to people on the streets, those to jump lanes, drive too fast, cut you off , weave in traffic etc. Mostly were men. Almost 99% men,  white vans and buses( this sometimes driven by women) , professional drivers who drive every day and a lot, who are exhausted frustrated and couldn't care less. ( but not Uber drivers ) And also young men under 25. I will be politically incorrect and say many of these were Black and Asian men, trying to be cool with beard/jewellery etc. ( This may be due to the area I drive in or whatever )
So the Stereotype is completely false? No actually.
There is another type of bad driver, the annoying driver. They are not exactly a threat on the street, but they raise your BP, They irritate the fuck out of you and make u swear more than the first group because you are too stunned to swear at a real bad driver :D They driver slowly, really slowly, They break suddenly, they stop at the orange light, they turn without indicator or give wrong indicator, they look like they are going to turn but wont.  What is the profile of these? Old people, both  men and women. Very old like all white hair types usually.  and women.  Political incorrectness time again, They were either mums doing school run or  Muslim women in hijab. 
So! Do women drive badly? No!
Do muslim women in Hijab drive badly then? No!
Clearly the main reason for this kind of driving is lack of confidence.  These people are not driving daily, even if they are may be not having equal standing in society affects our confidence and ability to drive?
Did women driver badly in 70s? probably, They had more unequal standing in the society and hence probably lacked confidence.
In my view, Its not lack of spatial awareness or direction sense, its confidence that made women drive badly at the time.
My conclusion is all generalizations have a grain of  truth in it, but it is superficial truth. Instead of just going by numbers and statistics and coming to stupid conclusions, people should delve deeper and look at the root cause or real reason for issues in the spirit of true scientific enquiry.

why are u carrying a backpack

You know how I loath handbags, non ergonomic inefficient and your hands are not free! and too small and people end up carrying multiple bags! seriously! What kind of person carries those! Anyway! So, me being this logical practical efficient liberated by society standards woman carries a backpack.

Each and every Shop - Madam leave your back with security! Why? That lady is carrying a bigger handbag and u didnt stop her?! Purse is allowed madam! Why!? Its easier to steal things in a handbag, Its harder to slip things into something on your back than on your arm?!? Sorry rules madam! X-(

Each and every person I meet, Why are u carrying your laptop! I am NOT!
Why are u carrying such a heavy bag? Its not heavy.
Why do u have a backpack? I have water and umbrella in it. Why dont u carry it your hand! :-O X-( Beacause I like my hands free!? :-O and I dont want to lose things!?!
Leave the backpack in the car. No! I have my purse in it. ... and if these bloody "ladies" jeans had pockets.. :D u know how it goes..
Anyway in spite of being a 'liberated from society' type of woman, this got to me, I got really edgy - Your back...  GRRRRrrr bow bow bow Bite! :-D
Ok time to do something about this nuisance. Be gone black backpack and Welcome white one with flowers on it ! ;-)
Problem solved :D No one so far has riddled me about my "backpack" "laptop bag" "rugsack" :D Even tho it is 1 1/2 times bigger than the black one :D ;-)

Peoples will be peoples! Silly peoples! 

old crone

I m a gran ol lady of 75
I have a broom and a pointy hat
and ol black cat

herbs and books
and comfy sofas
a roaring fire
n soft warm slippers

lots of love from people gone and still around
I m a gran old lady loved by all
I m  a naughty old lady with a twinkle in her eye
I m  a happy  old lady with a wicked toothless smile :)
oh I m beautiful allright ;)

weird old lady feared by kids down the block
they call me a witch and run when they see me
I seduce them with apples from my garden
and then some more with my wicked tales :)

I m a sharp old lady with a very quick  wit
I m a kind old lady with heart of gold

I look back on my days long gone past
with some regret and some joy

oh Ive done it all
oh Ive done it all

What have u done granny the kids ask me
what made your life so wonderful

Ive seen the days when life was free
there was no internet and no electricity

I swam in the seas when I was afraid
I ran right back but I went in again anyway

Ive travelled by train by sitting by the open door
Ive climbed trees wearing short skirts and I dont care :D



I have been my own best friend ( this is intellectual and not from my heart)

tell us more granma tell us more

Ive been to places big and small
Ive been to places high and cold
and warm and crowded
and I have always eaten untill my stomach was full :D

Ive seen it all
Ive seen it all
Ive been loved and Ive loved a lot

why do u cry granma why do u cry
we love u so, but why do u cry

Ive seen sweetness which has touched my heart
Ive seen love and tenderness
Ive been lucky
Ive been blessed by god
I thank him so
I love him so

then why do u cry granma, why do u cry
hes been kind

tell us more tell us more
tell us your secrets  tell us your passion
tell us those things which u shouldnt have done :D
u did anyway

Ive been a good girl I dont like it that much

come on tell us granma, secrets we have not

I m an old lady and I forget a lot :-P ( granma being crafty and not tellin me! )

and what u regret to this day?
what would you differently if u got another chance

Id live a little more
Id be more bold
Id take what I wanted without caring some more
Id be less afraid
Id care lot less
Id be free and fly and not look down :D
Id love with more passion
Id be less afraid
Id go grab life by its neck and ride on it
Id rip thru life
Ive been a quite old lady but Id be a wild one if I got another chance
I held back a lot, Id probably just let myself go

population evolution marriage etc

[Old post - 2009]
Human women(!!!! hehe! Human females? I think I mean) are continuously breeding.

Chimps have a baby once in 5 years in the wild, same with the other apes... and people??? They would have a child every damn year. spreading across the whole earth like viruses to quote matrix.

women are particularly vulnerable, I mean every other species female is quite capable of taking care of the young all by herself or with the help of other females. Not so in the humans.

Both chimps and bonobos are polygamous. Offspring are spaced at 3-5 years difference, female is capable of bringing up the itself or with the help of other females. Not so in humans cause the offspring are spaced only years apart if not regulated! why was this? 

I think this was because..

Humans almost reached extinction some 1000s of years ago(According to one Nat Geo feature), only a few thousand individuals were left, I think this period heavily favored the fast reproducing genes in humans, has mostly shaped reproductive cycle and also the society.

female - will reproduce as many as possible. the society will take care to see that these survive. In this process, It didnt matter if the female was strong enough to take care of the young only the frequency mattered.

This also lead to dependency on the male, the females who were dependent on the male were able to produce more surviving offspring than those that were independent. Also as a corollary those males that did support and provide for their offspring had more success with their genes than the lazy (? :P) ones. Those groups which adopted this mode, to support and feed the female and young as community must have survived.  I think this is probably what tipped off the almost extinct species to bounce back...but as a down side this produced high fertility( which wasn't a problem until medical science made so much progress that everyone survives) and also prevented weeding out of complicated pregnancy genes, even if the mother died her kids survived and carried on the bad genes.

Polygamy v/s Monogamy, Polyandry

Monogamy is suited for a place where there is plenty but it needs hard work to get it. like Europe. They had more higher quality food than us(tropical people), but it required hunting, lot of effort. one male couldn't probably support more than one female . also the females need to more independent and strong in such environment,  following the hunters, as they followed deer/bison herd migrations with seasons, for long distances, Endure hard weather...Thats why Scandinavian British women as almost as tall and strong as the men. number of offspring is lesser. few but better quality offspring. The risk of death of well provided offspring and mother is less due to disease. Independent families, easier for each family to feed themselves.
Polygamy is suited for a very fertile and abundant place, where it is easy to provide for food but has a high death toll by diseases. The probability of a strong kid dying is same as a weak kid, It makes more sense to have smaller but many more kids, so loss is minimized when any one dies.  Polygamy  is the most efficient way to grow. Thats why its used in chicken/sheep farms. Popular in China, India -  middle east and Africa. Value for women and children is less in such a situation. The focus is on number and than quality. Each man can have 10 wives and 10 children each.. probably 7 out of the children died in their childhood due to diseases. So women were almost always breeding,  They are weaker, less independent, agriculture and therefore more settled lifestyles.  Large joint families.


In some places like middle east and central Asia  even tho climate was bad,land not fertile - there is polygamy. I think because of  higher competition men clashed and died a lot more than women?  I think middle east has polygamy because of frequent wars, India china and Africa because they can afford it.

Polyandry - results in female taking care of the offspring - unless all the husbands are related. Its seen in Tibet and north east... its more suitable for a population that does not want to grow and keep a stable population because resources/space are scarce and there is no scope for growth.

The main aim of marriage or partnership is to rise offspring, humans love cause humans who loved raised more live offspring than those who didnt. Marriage has existed for millenia cause married couples rise more children than unmarried. Even in cultures which support polygamy, marriage or formalization of the partnership exists indicating it is necessary for survival. We are animals after all. community care of children will work only if the community consists of genetically similar - relatives/ sisters etc.. cause our genes are selfish, we are still animal enough to care about these things. The society or culture or our group psyche does not care about individual  happiness, it only cares about the continuation of the species successfully. Atleast until now. 

sexist western society

Why does every comedy serial have this episode where the women talk about how they want a great wedding, about girls dreams of elaborate expensive weddings and how they have been planning it all their life?!!!?! It is not funny :( It is plain wrong. sucha waste of money and resorces and such a wrong direction for young women.and it is setting a very bad example for all young girls :(
:-(
how can all these sitcoms justify waste of money over silly ceremonies and glorify it? I hate it! supposedly pro-women sitcoms are so sexist. Its plain wrong :( Sex and the City, Friends,movies like father of the bride.. all.. and yeah - girls father pays for the wedding! :-O

and the biological clock ticking hysteria?!? it is kinda funny at times...!  exactly like the hysteria about getting daughters married in conservative households in india.. there age bar is 22 here 40.. but its the same anxiety/fear/desperation.  ( BTW I think our first lady princess Aishwarya having a baby at 37 should chill a lot of people and raise the bar in india? ;-) )

and the girls are bad at maths thing! There are absolutely NO lady engineers here in the UK! Zero! Thanks to such sexist propaganda! Girls are bad at maths! There were hardly any boys in my class as good at maths as me!
In India there is an awareness about such things atleast some people are feminist, people are fighting against such views. There is always an uproar about sexist ad campaigns, here there is nothing. pink and blue. why  so much distinguishing at such young age.. why not green/yellow/purple/red prams!?! just let them be, instead of doing this boy/girl thing!
I dont like :-(

Yes there is Sexism here but .....
 I had to add the PS:
After  bumming on the beach, in a bikini, alone.  topless babes sun bathing around me, often alone, roaming around in clothes definitely classified as very skimpy in India in the wee hours of the night, drinking alone( :-O?:-P) and feeling so safe to be able to do this.. I felt very touched and grateful to this culture and society actually.
I remember how we went to the beach in India.. my river dress . thick grey trousers and thick dark black and red shirt.. I felt sad for me for that... I remember kerala - people following me on the beach even when getting into water fully clothed. Yew! disgusting that... from that to this!!! Liberating!
West has got something right, and India is like very very very very long way behind.... after tasting freedom like this..  will I ever be able to go back to that?
.. 

Miyazaki has 2 sons and no daughters!
Aww sucha pity!  He would make a really lovely dad to a daughter.. such a sweet man and his understanding of girls is just .... awww...
Paulo Coehlo - Feminist - no children :)
How come these two great artists with such beautiful hearts are such avid feminists! Aww  I m touched..
<3 * <3* <3
C S Lewis - people criticize him to be sexist and religious. I actually found him also to be a feminist, this lead is a lil girl. she is the one who almost always gets people out of trouble and Aslans favourite. I din find his books too religious or evangelic either.. :P

Raksha bandhan( u guessed it!! feminist rant)

I dont like Raksha Bandhan. I find it sexist! ( Aiyo! sikkapatte kopa nange, Indian Culture bagge! Very sexist culture it is!! I want to let go of anger. Anger = something's there which needs to be understood/resolved. Want to transition from being angry to being understanding. But sex ratio of 700:1000 seriously put me right back on feminist anger track..so I rant and vent)
Raksha bandhan... I want to think - sweet festival and all! showing brother love? I like showing love for family brother mother parents etc...(yeah I do as long as its not soppy :P) but Does it have to be demeaning... Always? Why does every "showing love" look to  me, suspiciously like re-enforcing man's higher place in the social hierarchy?   Why do Indian festivals/customs always insist on demeaning and degrading women( and sometimes men) to show love? God! their concept of love is more like Dog->human love. I love dogs but lets face it - Its meaningless devotion.
Eat ur husbands left overs/fast/fall at his feet/burn urself.. true lowe itseems all that is! Crap.
Brother - ask him for protection itseems!! Arrey If u are a self respecting brother, Please teach such sisters to protect themselfs in life! and to earn for themseves! because boss there is no big brother holding a safety net in real life! and sometimes u fall!  and this is a good excuse to fleece him of money! As if brother paying for big dowry and grand wedding aren't enough! again that is our definition of brotherly lowe! Sacrifice! How I hate that concept!
Diwali - all men in the family will get one Arati! why? Its always establishing strict hierarchy than anything else... sometimes men are not spared.. like brother in law expected to fall at elder brothers wives feet!
Its not just these feminist things,  exchanging obligatory gifts ...again people say its love, its not! its formality. people keep track of what all gifts were received and the cost of the gifts! in writing! no less!!
Everyone sees this, but everyone defends all this culture. ( but everyone sees evil  in others culture :-) like north Indian will see evil south Indian culture and vice versa :-) how come? how come you dont get angry about all this like me? how come girls feel pride and joy in doing Arati? In saying protect me? (eww.. he he he  I think its my tomboy instincts that make me go eww... :D ) anyway...
I loved JK for saying this that society expects to keep everyone on a tight leash, wants to kill independent thinking,creativity and freedom. It tries to leash us at our conscience... make us feel guilt for free thinking. because free thinking is danger to the society.

quote from sex and the city

Charlotte is gushing about how she met this guy and how it is fate and all that...

Miranda: It’s not fate… His light is on. That’s all.
Charlotte: What light?
Miranda: Men are like cabs. When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and they decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever. And they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up, boom, that's the one they'll marry. It’s not fate, it’s dumb luck.
Charlotte: I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that love is that random.
Miranda: Please, it's all about timing. You gotta ge t'em when their light's on.
Carrie: Most men I meet are flashing yellows.
Miranda: Or off-duty... They can drive around for years picking up women and not be available.
Carrie: Then they really shouldn't be allowed to get behind the wheel.
Miranda: Most men don’t stay lit long before they take the plunge versus most women who have been lit pretty much since birth.

so true! :D that was just awesome!

deepolution

Evolution of blond hair and blue eyes they say has come about about 11000 years ago...

I was looking that up in Wiki- why would I look that up? Basically I was looking for information on Kafiristhan and Nooristhani people. Supposed to be blond people in Afthanisthan - the theory is that they may be descendants of Alexander... They were Idol worshipers - not hindu - Indo Iranian.. what ever that means.. I was looking up information on this people and.. I ended up on a Nazi site! yew! (It was like when we used to search for Clay-Jedi mannu in the sand and sometimes found dog poo :D )... funniest was some Bramhana trying to sell Indians as Aryans to White supremists using Afghans to do that :D LOL...

Aryans... I ve always found it really funny that Hitler and these neo Nazi;s seems to think Germans are Aryans.. hello!! Indians are Aryans..We are aryans... not that it is something to be so proud of...with Ugly caste system and everything... but Hitler! he was really ridiculous.. he could have called it some other race.. Atlantians or something that would be less funny....
(I hold the Aryan Invasion theory also at this same level - Bull shit :D)

Evolution of Blond hair and blue eyes... Wiki says that it could be to get more Vitamin D from the sun in cold areas, so blond people were naturally selected... Good explanation. I like it. but  some other people( scientists at that!!) seem to think that the reason for evolution for blond hair is "Gentle men prefer blonds!!!" How very sexist is that!! what kinda theory is that!!! Clearly they have let their stupid biases affect their so called "scientific" study. There was a mutation and one blond woman was born and Cave men apparently "preferred" blond women, so blond women got to mate more and so had more blond children!!! Hello!! how stupid can u get?! why didnt cave men prefer blond women in Africa or China?  I dont think cave men "preferred" any woman, If there was any woman available, I'll bet all my money they din particularly care even if she had any hair or not!!! :D come on! :D If at all anyone had any discretion or choice those days it must be the women.  and BTW what is that about the equating blond to woman?? How can  they interpret blond as blonde women only! They could have deduced that blond people were preferred, but no - only blond women were preferred it seems!Silly Sexist Bastards! :-D Also as far as I know.. thousands of years ago.. if anything strange was born.. it was probably feared and killed...so if a blond baby was born in all dark family.. I dont think any one would prefer it! Stupid scientific studies!!

What do I think?? Neanderthals :-) Humans were black originated in Africa, but Neanderthals were in Europe for millions of years  and They were blond and blue eyed weren't they?  the connection is there for all to see... did they get killed by humans.. or they are still there?  as Aryans :D?

The worst part about finding dog poo instead of jedi mannu was - who ever found it wouldn't be satisfied with his own analysis of what it was but invariably passed it around to all the others to double check! hehehe!! yew yew yew! 

pissed off rant

Its the feminist again.

I am making sarcastic comments on facebook,about our Indian census and Skewed sex ration.

I am actually very pissed off. Boiling actually!

India and its "£*$&"£$ @£$%£$%# £$%£$% £$%"~@# F"£$^ing customs and attitudes!

My anger is against stupid son favouring Indian mothers, who bring up their sons as if they are princes! who turn out into stupid brats who think its their birth right to be waited upon, who dont learn any work, who believe men are superior to women because - oh mom treats sis poorly and me well! sons who think wifes will be their slaves - just like their beloved mum. sons who think dowry is ok! sons who think wives family is ready cash ATM! Bride burning horrible mums -I hate you. and ur sons!

ps: Sorry guys, all you my friends I dont mean you. you are all the nicest possible. especially the guys :-P genuinely very very nice guys. even u -V :D.

My anger is against girls themselves who are stupid enough to be burden on their brothers and fathers.. who expect or allow their parents to shell out expensive gifts and dowry and a grand wedding as if its their birthright, mind u! this kind of girl child is a curse for life... 80 year old mothers still buy marriage clothes for daughters children and have to shell out money for festivals... Those gifts are out of love! Its out of love? really? Thats why 914:1000? People still dare give me that crap! Its a custom. Nasty shit custom that is what it is.

Discrimuation was so rampant in my childhood. The parents were so skewed in most of my friends/relatives homes in favour of boys, It was disgusting. My classmates were genuinely frightened of fighting with their ( sometimes younger) brothers. brothers displeasure = parents punishment. Food- Bornvita for son - milk water tea for daughter, Ghee Dosa only for son. Cycle only for son. This was 1980s and 90s middle class homes. "I am a Complan Boy!" the Complan girl only came into picture much later- mid 90's. Engineering for sons, B com for daughters! This my own aunt! Not like they din have money!Especially obvious in homes with 2 daughters and one son at the end "The precious". but unlike my cousins, most of these girls were educated well , encouraged at sports and everything, they were very cool girls much much better than that spoilt rotten precious sons at the end but they accepted this discrimination. They never thought it was abnormal or wrong. Mothers of these girls were working women, very well educated and otherwise very nice parents. but so unabashedly shamelessly sexist! how can they be like this - so contradictory?

I am more angry than them! I think someone who sees these things from outside is more angry than someone who actually experiences it. They have accepted it as norm. Are they doing the same in their houses today? I dono.

I think Hindus are worst in this regards- Muslims and Christians for what ever beliefs( probably like anti abortion and children being god gift) dont kill the girls as much as the Hindus and Sikhs and godless communists ( China :D).

How did it turn out for me?

because of all this sickness I d decided Ill do my bit to change the world! Ahem :) as a matter of principle, I would not make my parents spend any money on my marriage. .or on any gifts and I'd contribute to the household, my brothers fees etc... I believed that if every girl did that, if she stopped being a burden on her parents, if she financially supported her parents in old age then things will chnage. I didnt even cry in my marriage because I didnt believe - I am out of the family and that kinda nonsense..

I can honestly say that my parents haven't dicriminated even a single day in my childhood. I would like to think I would have bitten off heads if it wasn't so.. but I think, I think radically like this because of my parents( dad more upset than me about cousin getting married before completing study)... they have given me and my brother equal chances in every possible thing. motivationally, financially ,food :-D, distribution of work, opportunities ...everything. or so I thought!!!

In our house it has turned out the other way... they gave me everything but they discriminated. how? by not having expectations. They dont expect anything from me. they dont expect me to look after them when they are sick, they dont expect me to be with them when are old. They dont expect me to contribute. I am a guest in that house. I din want to be NOT part of my parents home.. but am I really part of that home?

That realisation comes slowly and that comes as a shock... Err .. !

... Its a good thing!! :D Its a good thing...I am free or what ever.

For an indian woman its still a long way to go...

( also goes to show logical thinking will lead nowhere, if u want to succeed in this world u have to feel and understand others feelings)

Oh well the sex ratio..its also a good thing!! :-D

We should encourge this trend, make it legal even, if u dont want a girl child - dont have one. Make testing and abortion free..."Ladki boj hai! Apna boj aaj hi halka kareye! bus bees rupee mein! App ke ghar se clinic aane ka auto fee, uske baad sab free..." let us see how bad it goes?

-Its an automatic way of population control after all.what better way to control population than limit the number of girls.

-If number of girls reduce then their value will increase. no more dowry, no more bride burning - if you burn this one u wont get another spare!

-If there are more single men than women, the worst will get weeded out, so it will improve our stock.

-What if those singles go to dogs and create havoc like the wild useless tuskers... then let it be let the society suffer for its sins.

-We can send off these surplus men to Jihad, promise them 40 virgins after death ;-) It would be very effective.

-We can send them to space , on dangerous space missions. they have nothing to loose. ( yeah lets save the apes)

-Will all these surplus men will turn gay? that is intersting thought... then may be even peace will prevail and population will be controled and women will have a better standing in society? win win! what say?

-I guess we can make them into monks! Vatican zindabad ( this option is same as above? :P)

-1:1 maping of men to women is a stupid old way of looking at society, society can change to something more bold.

Nah! this wont work? even the gay thing wont work... what about family lineage and all that crap. They din have a son for the love of son. did they? they want a grand SON! oh yeah !

how will they do it without women? they'll probably use our holy cows as surrogates for their grandsons :P that will be some technology.

I read a lot of comments on the news items by western people, surprising they seem to have same ideas as me( all the above!!) but I am being sarcastic and they are being serious! What has happened in India ( and china) is plain wrong it does not have silver lining. One new perspective was that some women dont want to have girl child as they dont want the child to suffer the same as they have suffered before. I think this was an Asian woman.

The perspective of some people about Indian parents wanting to "keep the children" was funny :-) what we see as normal they see it as unnatural - keeping children with you even when they are grown. :-) perspective. but I agree with them that this is main reason for son bias.

If I think logically and reason it out..I can see the reasons for it. First off, I dont belive abortion is wrong. So, out of female feoticide. I dont believe the feoticide part is wrong. so it must be the female part that bothers me. actually this is also the part that bothers our govt.

( feoticide is okay..? I speaking without empathy here, like a logical robot and I am lieing... I got my cats operated- spayed for not having kittens, its a good thing! no body wants to fill animals shelters with unwanted kittens nor can u take care of all its progeny nor can u abandon them some streets across. It had to be done but I am sad about it! It had 3 unborn kittens in its stomach. Doc din tell me before. I think I would change my mind if he had. I am still sad about it..:-( )

Considering a lower middle class house hold, if u have a girl, she will take away about 5-10 years of parents salary for marriage and dowry. and then because of new laws, 50% of the property and then constant gifts all your life and when u are old and dieing she will not be there to take care of u and to even put Ganga jal in your mouth, what kinda investment is that? I can understand that pretty well.. there is no social security in India,pension is very small, how will u live in your old age? ur only hope is ur son. then why am I being a bitch about this?

I still find it hard to digest.

If I sow potatoes I make 10 rs per kilo, tobacco 100 rs. so Ill sow tobacco. daughter v/s son. dowry no income in old age son v/s will take care of me. choice = son. why is it hard to digest?

The cold caculating ways of the world and the society - biting me . Is there nothing like selfless love? mothers love is epitome of selfless love but even mothers/parents love is so selfish? Children - an investment for old age? Its all economics and cold calculation. It hurts. but that is nature after all. if there is food for only one chick doesnot the eagle just push off the weaker chick over the ledge? doesnot cat eat one of its weaker kittens? but animals are doing it for survival of other kids not for their old age.. thats not so business minded!! Western parents are less selfish than eastern ones then? they take care of their children selflessly without expectations both sons and daughters?? then they have social security. But then Rich Indians have enough money for 7 generations they are still discriminating...

Out of all this madness and horridness, I really have to respect and salute those parents who dared to have only girls...tat too in the past decades.. have to salute my parents for being selfless (tho it irritates me no end and makes me feel useless) To all those people out there today who are treating all their kids fine,without discriminating on Gender! All those who are able to raise above our "£$"£$$%^£$%^"$"£$% F"£$%£$%^"£ing Culture! God bless you all!

Deeponomics

Frekonomics

Frekonimics says that reduction of crime rate in 1990’s in US was directly related to abolishing the anti abortion law in 1970.. so all those guys who would have been born in 1970s whould would cause trouble in 1990s were well not born at all so no crime…

Deeponomics

In a developed(??Oh humm Ill start liking it here some day) country like UK there are like 1% software engineer then Why are there so many girl software engineers(20%?) in a very traditional developing country like India..( which btw still practices female feotiscide)

In 1980s – ordinary Indian girls weren’t encouraged to study too much.. u see u wont get a groom who is more educated than u and then we will have to give a lot of dowry for a highly educated groom.

So essential skills for a girl were good cooking cleaning maintain house and knowledge of all traditions and etiquettes - all well and very nice..

Goal in life for a girls parents get my daughter married. ashte…

Then in mid 1990s a new breed of boys (and a few girls but this story is not about them :P) started emerging.. The software engineers, they would go on to change the face of India :P( whatever) What characterised this breed was sophistication, intelligence, suaveness – ah blah.. no one cares for all that.. but they had money… ah! now u are listening... loads and loads of it.. much more than any ordinary middle class man has ever seen in his life time… obviously they were THE prized catch in the marriage market… and so the dainty damsels were lined up in front of these and they had their pick.. but lo and behold what happens..

This new breed u would think had enough money to lead 2 families happily would look for homely girls but no.. money attacts money they say or for what ever other reasons.. the software engineer grooms wanted software engieneer brides to get married to! Not BA in Music, not Home science graduate not BCom but B.E. comp sci BE Electronics!!!

WHAT?

The whole of the Marriage market was shaken… what was this? What was happening.. 20 years of grooming down the drain? having studied the market they had perfected their product but.. the market had changed overnight!!!

Any capitalistic economy the suppy indeed catches up fast with the demand, and so this very developed and stable market indeed recovered and fast… huge queues were formed and MCA collegues started running to the full. BA Music + MCA = BE comp Sci.. = job at Infosys = SE groom! Yupiee!!

BA music, history, homesciecne forms were withdrawn and B E comp sci.. yeah those forms were taken in..cooking and baking classes bandh, maths and science tutuion shuru..

And with in a matter of half a decade.. the number of girl students in any Engineering class went up from 10 % to 50% !!

This number varies along with the recession cycle too.. but has stabilized over the ages

And this is how a very traditional country like India breeds the best of the Lady engieneers in the world!

(based on a true statistics- the author personally knows a Bsc homescience who got forms for MCA and would have almost joined , if not for having found a bank manager groom in the mean time.

Edit: Now happily married with 2 kids :P everyone wants to know the endings of stories :P)

trip MOM ( for myself)

random thoughts - Trip to Mysore with family to attend a traditional function with traditional aunt visiting a traditional uncle. That was such a challenge.. I dono why I felt I should record my fight with myself(ego?) to be not irritated and angered by all this traditionality?. I think I lost. (Total rant! dont read)

"Taming the ego is not easy... it takes time.. it doesnot like being tamed at all. It doesnot have to be done in a day". My ego tantrums reminded me of horse .Ego felt like a horse that bucked me and ran away and me rider, frustrated, sitting on that temple jagli.  These were the thoughts after trying to conquer my irritation about functions and then failing and driving away from that function to escape the irritation and then finding an abandoned temple and  sitting on the stone jaglee on the temple. Resigned with the irritation.  ( ego here more like sense of identity not attitude)

"u dont have to tell anyone this as long as u know it ! :)" wrt to above realisation. I was making up stories( excuses more like) as to why I got angry and when the second voice prompted saying "why tell story, when u know its ego" a third voice said.."story can be for others.. as long as I know.. they dont need to know".  Then big smile.. I like my own company too much :P

"Is it really worth it to question the norm and try to accept ppl as they are. they suck man! :)" wrt to my aunt asking me if i wear saree ( 10,000th time ) at 12 30 at night.. before sleeping off and snoring like a truck.

"Its ok to accept nonsense traditions because her intentions are good" ..wrt to granny.

"kandhe pe bithaya to... "wrt to my mum asking me to touch sister in laws feet! Grrr! still irritated. growl and bite even for mum next time. shes been warned.

music - breaks down -ve thought forms ! fast driving too :) and so does beauty - good smell..( if I was poetic I wud have said fragrance :D)

"Art of conversation - I better learn this to save myself from death by boredom..!" before running away from it all.

Few days back experience - when someone is trying to manipulate u and u donot get manipulated, all the -ve emotions they were trying to bring in on you, get backfired on them. but this does not seem to work with aunties.. they go on needling. if u just let it be- they take another shot. may be the best medicine is in fact a good growl and bark and a bite :D even smart insults are useless with dumb people :(

Lessons learnt, medicine should be taken in small doses.. very small.

Lesson learnt 2 never forget to think of ways to have fun, cud have taken cousins out on a long drive, nice picnic...

Shouldnt forget to be urself cause of some mission, cud have hung out with kids instead of trying to bore myself to death with aunties, just to prove a point, just to question some stupid norms.

I hate relatives :( I hate aunties!

I even thought of headphones with the car sterio. I dont want to listen to ppl in back seat. Wish they sleep off wish they sleep off wish they sleep off.

really funny how much I have let them get to me when trying to not let them get to me, I wonder if I just was myself and kicked their fat asses id have not let them get to me.

Another feeling - really afraid of staying behind times.. suffocating feeling, i am afraid of rotting and not getting fresh things in my house or in my life.. rishi;s aunt still having only casette player and no CD player.. bags and bags full of old stuff in my aunts place... old TV;s in everyones house in mysore. worries me...no health faucet even in posh houses.. i dont want to become like that.. especially mentally. some ppl are like that stuck in the best times in their lives.. favourite movie is still DDLJ ...talk of bazigar and Daar ...raveena tondon.. one of my fears these days... staying behind in time.. the US indians who left indian in 70's... old customs...it was not judgement it was fear.. especially with people who dont have children, I feel its easy to get stuck in some time in the past...

wrinkle on my forehead deepened. :( too much sun one contributer..

awesome long drive tho.. I luv driving..rash driving good thing about mysore is it has lovely scenery just a short drive away.

cozy and warm feeling with auntys and uncle, they really love me. :) only my mum has issues! and cousin lookin like a hero ! cool! a bit embarrassing I thought whos this smart guy before recognising :-$

and awesome awesome awesome mango rasayana! hats off to satish uncle for thinking of bendekai bhajji and rasayana wiht lunch..slurp slurp! reminded me of dharwar.

one more thought which got concrete should have donated stuff to orphanage/old age home instead of selling...god give me guts to donate all the money got from selling to some place like that.

positive things are late additions.. :) the first thing that came out was all the frustration...thought of some other nice thing when walking down the steps..it went away.. anyway..

when I re-read I think i am influence a lil by my friends blogging style....?!?

( feminist speak )

I am surprised at how most ppl my age in india think..

Women should cook.

yeah they dont say that explicitly anymore but its so much part of their psyche . The main task of a woman is to cook,clean and keep house... working not working doesnot matter. A woman works 10 hrs a day at some bloody office but her main responsibility is .. u guessed it...cooking. No exceptions CEO of a company or Even Indira Gandhi. I am sure there are ppl ( my age and younger no less) who say oh that lady, she could nt even make plain dal! ( or could she?;-) )

Its not the guys I am talking about, Its these CEO and PM women themselves I am talking about. What they think about themselves. atleast what they would like to project to the world is - yeah I am successful but I cook at home. I know of a few exception, all Jhansi rani types like me :-).

The popular office joke is "hey u r a guy and u cook at home? shame on u!" "your husband cooks?" !! - When will these apes turn into humans? :-)

There is this Wipro sugar Ad "is your husband turning from fit to fat? take care of him" Its womans responsibility apparently if her husband is going fat! eh! and her... who cares for a bloody woman!!!

husband and wife should do everyhign together..

. err sorry its not exactly like that. wife.. should do everything with her husband and nothing on her own...she is not supposed to have any tastes or hobbies of her own(except Fashion designing ) or a life of her own. even if she does, she should be crafty and scheming enough to hide it or do it without affecting her primary responsibilities mentioned above.

I go on a trek on my own... with out my husband and I questions I am asked! - dont u miss ur husband? poor thing how does he live? who will take care of him. who will cook for him :-D How can a woman live without her husband like this?( din ur mother spend 2 months summer vacation every year at ur grannies? :-P ) ... when i get married Ill not go anywhere without my husband. Or even better - I wouldnt "let" my wife go without me. ( AAahhhh He would n't "let" her ! :-D )

and a Guy comes with out wife... anyone ask any questions? no just patted on the back - probably one question - boss, enjoying ur freedom!? his freedom!!!

The Gender disparity of it all. Is it Chauvinism? its all ppl... girls guys all and its mostly younger generation who think like this.. older gen have changed themselves to adjust and see things in a different light.. atleast the older gen I am in contact with has.. may be they have seen life?!?

I wonder - why dont i think like that? I have my prejudices they have theirs :-) some-other day on my prejudices...

Raw nerve

I get upset at times, I get upset on comparision. from childhood. I used to get really wild when my aunts and uncles used to compare me with my cousins. why dont u grow ur hair long!! aah, how I hated it. What is their bloody problem. what for them. why dont they just mind their business and I will do what I want to do. dress as I please.

Wear a saree!!! X@W#$@$@!! Christ! or do some make up or wear jewellery. Especilay annoyed when my mom compares me to my sis in law. Why dont u dress up a lil. see ur sis in law, she is always wearing bright clothes. not annoyed when my mom-inlaw talks about my other sis in law;s buying 10k worht saree etc. because there is no comparision there I guess.

I'd built myself into a rebel, if I conform I used to feel miserable with myself. :-)

Why is it such a sensitive issue with me? why does "why dont u be like X" create such a strong emotional response in me. it brings out the "I am me. I am like this only" complex out very strongly. I dono why I am so stuck up with " I am like this only, I come with + and - . u need to take me just as I am. if u dont like it , then u can take a hike" complex. I am really really stuck up on this. Is this what u can call Individuality or identity .

I used to be really stuck up and proud of it, but now I am begining to think, there is chink in the armour. or rather I think I have an unnecessary armour.

Why this raw nerve. why do I so strongly say I dont care... It only means I actually do care, no? a lot actually. Most of the time things that affect you most are the ones you think are wrong with you. If someone called me blind- say because I wear specs, It does not affect me. If I felt bad about wearing specs then I would have minded. Same with being fat, I dont really think i am fat and these comments are clearly jokes. If someone made fun of my job for example... I think i would mind ...

The things mentioned above short hair etc.. I definitely dont think are wrong with me! but something must be there. if I take the logic further if I thought I was better than others, all these small things wouldnt affect me. may be in my mind I dont really feel so great about myself? and feel others are better? May be I dont feel i have the right to be as I want to be. specially I think I seek approval especially from people who are close to me, and I hate to admit it and act according to it. So anything that points to this, khatak ta hai??? May be..

women and peace

Happy womens day ! 

I ve always wondered if humans society would be more peaceful if it was female dominated. And ... you know what? actually it would .

Bonobo and chimpanzee.
Bonobo and chimpanzees are very closely related great ape species , they live on opposite banks of the river congo.

It so happens that Bonobos have a female dominated - matriarchal society where as the chimps have very strictly male dominated. Even tho they otherwise have a very similar social structure. 

It turns out, Bonobos are far more peaceful creatures than Chimpanzees. Chimp males will kill any other male not belonging to their group. All meetings between non related ( not from the group that is) turn out violent, even fatal. Not so with Bonobos. Male Chimps are pretty abusive to their female counterparts, Bonobos pretty nice. Bonobos, in-fact are called graceful apes. They seem to show more compassion and altruistic behavior. [But this is still disputed by a few scientists] BTW There are a few other things you may find interesting about bonobos which u can go google for yourself :P 

 we are obviously follow the chimpanzee behavior rather than the bonobo line [we diverted from the common ancestor of both these lines like 8 milion years ago, and they separated from each other 1 million years ago. so if at all, chimps and us have followed the same line of evolution - genetically/socially independently. ]

Bonobos live among the rain forrest while chimps live in more arid and difficult terrain. Bonobos live in a more favorable environment than the chimpanzees. Some scientists cite this as the reason for the difference in behavior. May be cause things got difficult for survival of homo sapiens, and the society had to get cruel - male dominated to survive ( like chimpanzees)?Humans do have the capacity for strong female bonding, required for a matriarchal society,Tolerance of males to infants not their own..caring of the young by both genders... On second thought, May be we are more like Bonobos than chimps after all han? Now that times have changed and the environment is more favourable - will we see a turn in the scheme of things ??? :-) 
In 2012? :) Now that is another discussion !!!  

Interesting addendum from http://www.primates.com/bonobos/bonobosexsoc.html
Social Organization among Various Primates

BONOBO

Bonobo communities are peace-loving and generally egalitarian. The strongest social bonds are those among females, although females also bond with males. The status of a male depends on the position of his mother, to whom he remains closely bonded for her entire life.

CHIMPANZEE

In chimpanzee groups the strongest bonds are established between the males in order to hunt and to protect their shared territory. The females live in overlapping home ranges within this territory but are not strongly bonded to other females or to any one male.

GIBBON

Gibbons establish monogamous, egalitarian relations, and one couple will maintain a territory to the exclusion of other pairs.

HUMAN

Human society is the most diverse among the primates. Males unite for cooperative ventures, whereas females also bond with those of their own sex. Monogamy, polygamy and polyandry are all in evidence.

GORILLA

The social organization of gorillas provides a clear example of polygamy. Usually a single male maintains a range for his family unit, which contains several females. The strongest bonds are those between the male and his females.

ORANGUTAN

Orangutans live solitary lives with little bonding in evidence. Male orangutans are intolerant of one another. In his prime, a single male establishes a large territory, within which live several females. Each female has her own, separate home range.