trip MOM ( for myself)

random thoughts - Trip to Mysore with family to attend a traditional function with traditional aunt visiting a traditional uncle. That was such a challenge.. I dono why I felt I should record my fight with myself(ego?) to be not irritated and angered by all this traditionality?. I think I lost. (Total rant! dont read)

"Taming the ego is not easy... it takes time.. it doesnot like being tamed at all. It doesnot have to be done in a day". My ego tantrums reminded me of horse .Ego felt like a horse that bucked me and ran away and me rider, frustrated, sitting on that temple jagli.  These were the thoughts after trying to conquer my irritation about functions and then failing and driving away from that function to escape the irritation and then finding an abandoned temple and  sitting on the stone jaglee on the temple. Resigned with the irritation.  ( ego here more like sense of identity not attitude)

"u dont have to tell anyone this as long as u know it ! :)" wrt to above realisation. I was making up stories( excuses more like) as to why I got angry and when the second voice prompted saying "why tell story, when u know its ego" a third voice said.."story can be for others.. as long as I know.. they dont need to know".  Then big smile.. I like my own company too much :P

"Is it really worth it to question the norm and try to accept ppl as they are. they suck man! :)" wrt to my aunt asking me if i wear saree ( 10,000th time ) at 12 30 at night.. before sleeping off and snoring like a truck.

"Its ok to accept nonsense traditions because her intentions are good" ..wrt to granny.

"kandhe pe bithaya to... "wrt to my mum asking me to touch sister in laws feet! Grrr! still irritated. growl and bite even for mum next time. shes been warned.

music - breaks down -ve thought forms ! fast driving too :) and so does beauty - good smell..( if I was poetic I wud have said fragrance :D)

"Art of conversation - I better learn this to save myself from death by boredom..!" before running away from it all.

Few days back experience - when someone is trying to manipulate u and u donot get manipulated, all the -ve emotions they were trying to bring in on you, get backfired on them. but this does not seem to work with aunties.. they go on needling. if u just let it be- they take another shot. may be the best medicine is in fact a good growl and bark and a bite :D even smart insults are useless with dumb people :(

Lessons learnt, medicine should be taken in small doses.. very small.

Lesson learnt 2 never forget to think of ways to have fun, cud have taken cousins out on a long drive, nice picnic...

Shouldnt forget to be urself cause of some mission, cud have hung out with kids instead of trying to bore myself to death with aunties, just to prove a point, just to question some stupid norms.

I hate relatives :( I hate aunties!

I even thought of headphones with the car sterio. I dont want to listen to ppl in back seat. Wish they sleep off wish they sleep off wish they sleep off.

really funny how much I have let them get to me when trying to not let them get to me, I wonder if I just was myself and kicked their fat asses id have not let them get to me.

Another feeling - really afraid of staying behind times.. suffocating feeling, i am afraid of rotting and not getting fresh things in my house or in my life.. rishi;s aunt still having only casette player and no CD player.. bags and bags full of old stuff in my aunts place... old TV;s in everyones house in mysore. worries me...no health faucet even in posh houses.. i dont want to become like that.. especially mentally. some ppl are like that stuck in the best times in their lives.. favourite movie is still DDLJ ...talk of bazigar and Daar ...raveena tondon.. one of my fears these days... staying behind in time.. the US indians who left indian in 70's... old customs...it was not judgement it was fear.. especially with people who dont have children, I feel its easy to get stuck in some time in the past...

wrinkle on my forehead deepened. :( too much sun one contributer..

awesome long drive tho.. I luv driving..rash driving good thing about mysore is it has lovely scenery just a short drive away.

cozy and warm feeling with auntys and uncle, they really love me. :) only my mum has issues! and cousin lookin like a hero ! cool! a bit embarrassing I thought whos this smart guy before recognising :-$

and awesome awesome awesome mango rasayana! hats off to satish uncle for thinking of bendekai bhajji and rasayana wiht lunch..slurp slurp! reminded me of dharwar.

one more thought which got concrete should have donated stuff to orphanage/old age home instead of selling...god give me guts to donate all the money got from selling to some place like that.

positive things are late additions.. :) the first thing that came out was all the frustration...thought of some other nice thing when walking down the steps..it went away.. anyway..

when I re-read I think i am influence a lil by my friends blogging style....?!?