Questioning the norm

One incident yesterday made me realize- again! that I am different from most people in one way. I question norms. “ You should not enter a temple when u have chums!!” I used to get furious about such statements. How is it different from saying a lower caste person cannot enter a temple? If people hadn’t questioned that, thanks to Gandhi and Ambedkar, only bramhins would be going into temples even today? Wearing married women symbols…some of them frankly quite vulgar looking :D J J J( we had a really fun discussion bout this yesterday :D not blog material :x) There are subtle ways ( most times not too subtle) in which I question, I rebel and society accepts me that way.

Now a days people are happy content and ...conformist. and that’s not a bad thing… What I miss most in my society is.. We are challenging the scientific limits - google ( hey I am reading google story you know) challenged the way we surf the net. Is anyone challenging the society?? a few here and a few there.. nothing else much happening. It doesnot have to be archaic customs which need challenging… even basic new things.. as humans we occupy 60*40 site full of concrete construction.. shouldn’t we question why we are changing the face of whole world to live? Cant we live on tree tops.. shouldn't we challenge -"taking bath daily"… or "ironing"… isn’t it silly wasting so much time removing creases from our clothes..???! no one ironed the 9 yard sarees and dhotis.. did they? J most people think is a sin to not bath daily… small things in life – women shouldn’t have hair on their body…why not? ! :P or wearing a tie.. meaningless! Totally.. isn’t it? A tie? We have invented wonderfully comfy clothes but we insist on wearing uncomfortable stiff clothes to work where we spend most percentage of our lives..why not tracks and t-shirts at work? J (kudos to vijji for wearing shorts to work! ) Do we question the silly ness of some of the norms in our society? like our the attitude towards sex and romance . its totally not Indian. its puritian /Christian /british or probably Moghul-Islami ,whatever. The people who brought in this culture into our country have total given up on prudity but we hold on… In this case I am on the other side of the fence- a total prude. Used to be Muthalik until a few years ago. Easy to fight a norm outside of you, which u don’t like. but a norm which is ingrained in you.. which u accept in full faith. harder to question and fight…This is a harder battle than fighting with aunties about short hair and mangalsutra..worst part is recognizing such a norm, probably the other things I question so easily is an ingrained norm in most people just like this??

Coming back to my point.. social inventions.. like internet, mobiles changed the way we live… when will we start seeing social breakthroughs .

We are not taking that seriously …. There is much much more scope for improvement here than in the other aspects of our lives.. right? But difficult to make profits.. but wait a minute.. Art of living, ashrmas etc… trying to sell social inventions? no... more like personal inventions. even my pranic healing is one such and it is a good thing. Pranic healing was one hell of a big questioning of my scientific mentality . and I think it was one major revelation!

social inventions..Communism was one social invention – failed miserably … the hippie culture was one more… that one .. gave freedom to women didn’t it? Social changes are sometimes side effects of inventions.. for example the pill contraceptive – single most important invention in bringing up the status of women in the society.. if a woman is not spending her entire life giving birth, if she has some control on it.. what a difference it can make and it did. social change/challenge like I look for and appreciate was this one. the 2 childern per family rule.. changed society as well gave moms some time off for spending on themselves.. gave time to dads to spend time with children.. did our granddads ever shower love on their children? On grandchildren yes but on children.. not really. Another social change ! J It happens but its not moving anywhere close to the pace of technology.. it involuntary not researched or engineered..

But these ashrams.. they may bring about what I am looking for in a round about way, they do question norms even tho they are based on old ways, right? like they question ur rat race and definition of success..? what else? They also question some blind beliefs at times…

One thing I learnt recently is that it is easy for me to question the norms is perhaps cause I m really different.. I will infact fail miserable in social inventions :D hehehe because those inventions will only fit one person in this world ! me.!!! :D

A person who will succeed is one has the pulse of the people and also who can question the norms.. deepa+empathy..

I realized this when I was debating about the life style of gay people with my husband. He was very saddened – he said without a family without a permanent partner and kids life is very hard so he thinks the decision about getting married to girls and starting a family by a most gays is probably understandable. I on the other hand felt kids and family is not the only way to find satisfaction in life! There is lot more u can do and lot more ways in which u can be happy…see Abdul kalam blab la.. but in real life.. he is right! I am being academic. I probably can find satisfaction else where.. (according to the world even I cant but I beg to differ. So! :P to the world) after talking to people I realize I was wrong. gay people are really craving for family and a spouse and stability. My husband was right about it. My ideas are academic and idealistic.. The tradition and norm. Its there because it fits, it works. most people take that route because they know where it leads.. They care about lot of things which I don’t even think about.. that bubble around me… I don’t realize a lot of things..

I have realized only recently that my way is not the correct way I mean my way is not the only correct way.. it may be correct for me but for others.. haha advising sailaja to go explore life and get married late was plain silly J Karl marx was probably like me :D din know a thing about people and invented a society… I wish there are google guys of social world coming up soon.. who change the way we live… Or is it going to be global warming and natural disasters which is going to bring about the social change? Lets wait and watch!