peace

My place of peace with in me,
its always there.
Anger saddness joy, frustration,
thru all this, its always there.
sometimes I forget, sometimes I ignore, sometimes I look frantically and just dont find it
but its always there, waiting for me to come.
with open arms,
Thanks for being there,
I love you, my peace.
( peace peas and piece :P and pees :D ) 

ghanana ghanana ghan

.. gir ayye badira. This song made me cry! my poor county! my poor country people hankering for rain!
 How blessed this land is? UK I mean. how precious rain is for India, how unpredictable, how it holds our (atleast the farmers and village peoples) lives in ransom. Sometimes floods sometimes draught. And UK I have a garden, I havent had to water it even once, The soil is very fertile, look at the greenery around, Its snows badly once in 5 years, they may have floods once in 30 years... god or earth has been partial to this country. May be to small parts of India like bangalore too.
even in premitive days the tragedies of these people must be milder compared to our people? (Vikings and all? May be bangalore is more blessed :D out of the way of mauraders :D)
Even the african song rain rain rain rain beautiful rain...brings tears to my eyes... what is falling freely all around me all year round is so precious for them, adore love worship rain. dance joyously have festivals write songs about :D ( not sarcastic moany songs , cursing rain, like I would be tempted to write if I were a poet)

one person had brilliant idea and made a huge differentce to world

project guttenburg 

God bless him!

groups

Moralities course again.
Humans are naturally very prone to groupism. It is very inherent in our psychology .Just take a group of people and group them into Odd and Even, with in a short time people will have strong group loyalty for their group.
I also read somewhere that supporting sports teams is a way for people to engage in their tribalism, It must be really satisfying to do this kind of distinction.

But it is something we need to watch out for. It comes in the way of fairness. The whole world does it, I know. religionism, patriotism, casteism, regionalism, Aluminis, Clubs,  but I dont want to. Its wrong. Even tho it is natural, it is wrong. Its ok if I m disadvantaged because of this, but I dont favour favouritsm. We WILL find solutions which are good for everyone. This kind of groupism comes into picture because of belife in lack. people belive there is limited good that can happen and they want it for themselves. If you believe in unlimited good, in unlimited resources, in our own resourcefulness -if we believe that there is enough for all...we wont behave like this.


http://mystic-babe.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/us-vs-them.html

about why I m not blogging and then fittness bug bit me :P

I love blogging
Then why am I not blogging?
I dont have a laptop! you cant replace a laptop with a fluffy ipad. can you? That's what I have done !and stopped blogging, editing photos, downloading torrents, Do courses and lots of other meaningful things u can do with a computer.  Ipad is a waste  for anyone older than 10.
I have also stopped thinking. Is that even possible? but it seems to have happened. I used to sit alone and think, interesting and amusing things. There is no shortage of alone time, it is filled with fittness and health goals! Its the new sickness. everyone has got it, fittness bug :-) Its a good thing? sort of but its almost like a disease.
Boys in my team who spend hours everyday drinking beer have become teetotellers, they drink orange juice and spend those hours in gym.
I spend all those thinking hours still thinking but about what to cook tomorrow and how to cook more healthy so that I lose my first one kilo, My frustrating quest for weight loss puts even Robert Bruce and his spider to shame.
Would I suddenly be really happier if I were 60 kilos instead of 64? Then why all this effort? I put up that question for fun but seriously? The changes I m making are not bad, fittness and health are the most important.

being a certain weight or certain diameter wont make me happy but
If I felt fresh and energetic after work instead of being exhausted, I would be happy.
If I was very healthy and didnt get sick at all I would be happy. 
If my brain was less foggy
if I could freshen up fast in the mornings. 
If I could be of more solid temperment
less anxious about future
more contented about today
more meaning 
more mystery and exploration
got good sleep and good dreams
Really being able to do more push ups or run 10 k, would that make me happy day to day? may be not. or may be. 
just doing that bit of workout is very rewarding, It feels awesome. thats why people get addicted.

see! This is why I am nit blogging! 

dream

Awesome dreams, Its like suddenly my dream machine has upgraded or something to more meaningful interesting programmes.

South american god?evil? some very powerful spirit. me and two other people,(people from my world but now I dont remembe who)  we went on a trek and did some forbidden things and woke some reeally ancient truely evil spirit which was chasing us! Now, how do I get out of this? om namah shivaya! :D  Dont remember if this saved the day, but  I was alive at the end of the dream .

I remember considering options, Ancient south american gods are not so formidible, I can go consult shamans... but looks like I am really scared of south american god people. I have read some really interesting stories about aztects and stuff which have painted a bad picture. but ayahuasca is not so dark, actually its all new ageny, good feel stuff....

wow alienss last week and now gods! its awesome

ursula le guin

My god, Ursula leguin is clever! her stories are really mind blowing. Imaginative but so intelligent, many of the stories are written pondering social issues, almost scientific, she is more like a social scientist, or a anthropologist for her imaginary people. It is not fiction at all, it is science, it is more like a thesis or something.  The coherence of the worlds! impeccable! Even tho it is fantasy I feel like it is very likely to happen, like real. My mind is blown, her stories are hard hitting. Her imaginary worlds are sometimes disturbing. The one where men are treated as prized sires, so disturbing. (Ok I am not a feminist, I am a humanist, I dont want such suppression of any people, man woman,black, white! none! ) Heavy stuff But I love her!

ps: Infact her parents were actually antropologists, I think that influenced her deeply. She uses this knowledge to experiment with her feminist and left leaning ideologies. Beautiful!

originality is overrated?

I get very irritated when people dont have original ideas, when they parrot societies or popular opinions. This is how it is done! elders have said! It is written in Bible! (or Kuran or Puran :P) I am screaming in my head, But why? Why not some other way? May be they were wrong?? have you never cared to ask?
God! These people should do some thinking on your own! Then I got thinking, Should they? What if they are not very smart? :P what if their original ideas turn out to be crap? :D Then aren't They better off copying or imitating other successful or smart people? I have seen not so smart people become quite successful cause their parents are smart and they copy faithfully their parents style and thoughts. Is that a bad thing?  Not for some! hmm offcourse its their luck that they found the right person to copy. Thats why societies made rules, cause societies dont trust most peoples' smarts :P

Then why get irritated m'am! ( Be condasending instead ;) )

What we do is mostly copying - imitating. Its not a bad thing, it is the way we learn. its the quickest way to progress. see kids. imitation makes them quick learners. that is a sign of intelligence actually. even cats and dogs do imitation :) Knowing whom to copy is a great skill. Copying is a good servisable skill but Originality is where the magic happens.
If copying is like breeding and originality is like the mutations, Its where the  growth and evolution happens! Originality is not over rated by friend, Its how life itself happens! wah wah! wah wah!

profound

After the hard kettlebell class, I said Thank You Ben! The girl next to me said the same n then says to me , I dono why we thank him for torturing us :-) 

So true! 

 Why dont we do that to life? Why dont we thank life for being a hard task master? Why dont we feel so great after a great lesson by life :-) 

Cant we treat life like a hard fitness class? love the hard bits because we know its making us stronger,better every minute? Find pure joy like we do when we are gritting our teeth n doing that one more push up? 

 Can we? its just an attitude change after all?

all beliefs - with a pinch of salt.

cats are thieves, cant trust cats, they dont love u.
cats think u are their servant.
 some people say oh i hate cats, u got a cat i wont come to your house, but they never keep their promise ;)

cats are not loving...cat will eat you if you die! For gods sake, ever had a cat? ever died? no.. then how do u know? :-P

Our human heads are so full of shit.

No offence !even mine is. I mean we are so full of ready made information, filled up like fast food. Its hard to figure out how much of it is true and how much of it is bullshit. We pick up our beliefs and ideas from all sorts of very unreliable sources. We are like sponge, we hear something, it gets processed and gets stored in our head sometimes as true without our conscious validation.
I have seen thought seeding happen, I say something to someone, they deny it, reject it and forget it, after a couple of months, they come back to me and tell the same thing I suggested back to me!! They believe its their suggestion and that they agree with it! :-) I bet I do the same and I dont even know it!
So all beliefs - with a pinch of salt.

profits

The idea of profit itself is a ponzi scheme, isnt it? if u want to get more than what u spent for ur product... someone else has to pay for it. when u barter, u ideally get something equal to what u gave. but if u make a profit, some one makes a loss. so greater the profit greater the loss - somewhere.
Isn't that wrong? shouldn't I make sure everyone get their due? then concept of profit is silly?

It isnt obvious but just like with ponzi schemes, just by making a profit lot of people are going to round up poor n in loss, it is happening all around us n we are not realising it. Why are their poor and rich? because someone made a hefy profit ;-)  ok that is over simplification.
You should charge for a product what it cost you plus slightly more so that you can make a living. Charging for a product based on demand and supply/ Or based on how the market is doing. Its is not fair. Is it?

Money should mean nothing unless u create real wealth real value , but in today's world the people who make most money are facilitators or middle men like stock brokers, Advertisers, or opportunists or few entertainers footballers/cricketers/film stars/singers CEOs not the people doing real work.

 Difference in currency of 2 countries , makes ur effort to be valued differently than in another place. Are they really creating more/less wealth in the solid real world? no!

Merchants have made the most money since the birth of civilizations, is that fair? Warriors have made mostest money because they just snatched it from other people. That is not fair and we all accept that :-)

eternal torture

The idea of eternal torture, this stuck a chord of fear in me, getting killed is ok, but being held captive n being tortured for years... strikes a deep gloom in my heart.
It started of by the idea of pitr in indian mythology, they say if ur children or inheritors dont have children then u will be stuck in the world where u cannot work on salvation. I donot believe all this, it seems extreemly unfair to some very nice people I know and also very manipulative may to get people to procreate, ( If Dr Bappa didnt go to heaven, then ur heaven is an effing place you disgusting bastards!).
 Anyway, this reminded me of some fiction (or was it a dream?)  where people are tortured for life ( NOT tortured untill death, because they are not in a hurry to kill them) . They were operated on, on their brains, so there was no escape from that torture for them - ever. They were physically mutilated to be on all fours and in leashes and mentally mutilated so that they only have enough sense to feel the horror of the torture. I keep getting the picture of   chained collared person on all fours with a gas mask  and that peson is not a person anymore, he is reduced to a worm or something. They keep saying death is a blessing. so damn horrifying and disturbing this was. I associate this with ISIS and middleeast. I dont know were I got it from, I think its a mish mash dream,
 Could be what my brain made up after reading about the torture of victims by psychopaths, girl with dragon tatoo and the halle berry movie with her disgusting husband and that guy in US who help some girls captive and tortured then for decades ( Ah this seems to be the main horror influence).  Or it could be Game of thrones torture scenes and the ambience is out of the central asian jail in Batman movie.

Horrid horrible dream/thought or whatever! 
Take care and watch nice things Deeps, not such horror, it has left a bad impact on your mind.

pointless arguments

tarka -logic or argument is usually used in kannada to mean unnecessary arguments.
This is what we do these days - day in day out. We make logical statements,supporting this and opposing that, apparently passionately on facebook.
It is strangely satisfying but utlimately unwholesome and completely pointless.

. 

Be a man

Man is sometimes used as a substitute word for Human.  

But the two phrases "Dont be an animal" - i.e  be human and "Be a man" mean opposite. When u tell a man to Be a man, you are telling a Man to be male, i.e less human and more animal! 

Men would rather be a Man (male) first and Be a Man(human) later.

Be a Man(male) is a challenge to the ego, Be a Man(human) is a emotional plea.

Yang n Yin.

Does be a human mean Be a woman?The positive qualities(stereotypes obviously) associated with woman like kindness, more reasonable, more in control of urges, loving caring etc are the exact virtues that go into being a Human :D

But when people tell u not to be woman( nobody tells anyone to "be a woman",only "dont be a woman"  ;) ) only negative conotations cowardly, fleeing ,weak etc apply ;)

This world, manipulative or what? ;)

my world is entirely different from your world!!!
Discussions on individualistic and collectivist countries have been somewhat of an eye opener.

What individualistic culture may look at a deviant or unethical or manipulative or non genuine can be seen as something very natural and normal by a collectivist culture where harmony is of at most importance.

One example was in the west, It is ethical to give a job to the most deserving candidate, if you give it to your nephew instead you would be considered a unethical cheat. But in some cultures, people would think what kind of heartless thankless nut you are, if you give the job to some stranger than to your own nephew! How much ever I am inclined to believe that the first way is right, to most people second way is the right way.

Yeah yeah we are all Indians but I think I have somehow turned out more individualistic than most of my country mates. I find it very unethical that many people in India pretend to be something else in front of their parents/in laws.
Dont wear jeans in front of my parents.
Why?  Is it wrong?
no. but parents are old and they will get hurt.
so? u will cheat them?
Why dont u understand?
Why dont YOU understand?

They value harmony not honesty. I value honesty/fairness more than harmony. collectivist vs individualist.


[Moralities course prof asked a very good question related to this, continuing this line of thought, if you found that your neighbours child is much more intelligent than your child should you be paying for sending him to better school than your kid ;-) ]

joy of not having

I am Jealous of kids who start early, atleast I was.
Kids who are 17 who know how to swim and skate and play tennis and ski and go gymnastics! everything! These guys got to learn gymnastics at school!
Now I see the reality behind this! Its drudgery not enjoyment! Tennis classes at 6 in the morning, soccer classes after school, drawing classes on Sunday. Its not all the things they want to do, Its the things their parents want them to do. The parents who are like me, who wanted to do all that  now making kids do. Its not as fun for them as I imagine it would be for me.
Its normal, its not magic any more. (like a fairy doll which flies, Where is the magic in that?)

Not having and dreaming about something is great fun! :-) Having ... not so much :-)

When we hurt someone we are not afraid of their hurt
we are afraid of the hurt we feel when we hurt someone the empathy, the guilt, the conscince..

capitalsim

Actually I keep putting down capitalism, but what is it?
This is all that I group under capitalism and dislike...

1)      Win-loose – if I make money its enough screw everyone else. Everyone else is consumer, nature competitor etc

2)      Money < quality the motivation behind the work is somehow mechanical( is that the right word?) Especially in art- Movies/TV/Music.  you make something that will make money rather than what comes from your heart. It lacks soul. It is made with the audience in mind with a comitee by businessmen rather than artists.

What people want, what  makes money even if it is rubbish( what is rubbish? It doesnot nourish the soul, it is against the moral tenets) 

3)      Club culture, I m superior I will use my power to subdue you, I have powerful friends we will pat each others back and get things done.

4)      Rebulicans, George Bush- Now adays the America – big brother, arrogance.

Capitalism

Mental patterns, perception, judgements, labels... our reality is so objective.
how do we know what is good and bad? There is no good and bad. There is no correct and incorrect.
So how to live a life like that? I am upset by a few things- Bastards are corrupt!  but then is it only my objective judgement that corruption is bad?
The argument at home was . TV serials are trying to manipulate kids into buying toys. Toy shops are stocked with pink stuff, to sell to girls, Stereotyping. Kellogs tells women, get back ur self worth, lose weight!  Those marketing people dont have any ethics, they have a very short term self centered goal. They will go anything to get maximum bonus and a shiny career.
These judgements are all also objective. It is your opinion that Kellogs is manipulating people into thinking fat is not good for self esteem. many fat women appreciate it that Kellogs give then a plan to get thin.
Many people may be of the opinion that Toy shops are not gender stereotyped, they are gender appropriate. Obviously if it is democracy, there are more people with that opinion or the toy shops wouldnt have any sales and would change their strategy.
So its a free market, Its democracy after all, so people get what they want. peoples wants shape the world.


What conclusion I came to is that.. everything in todays world is kind of win lose. I mean mostly. Its either us against nature, one country against another, company wants to get your money out and so on.

The solution to Capitalim is win -win. like Google ads, like Linux, like free software. Like piracy and torrents of Paulo Coehlo ( his story of how, his book was pirated to russian, His books sold in thousands in Russia before piracy and after that his books started selling in millions :) )

We as a culture have to make a shift towards win win from win -lose. We should think of , how I can make better toys than how I can sell better. we need deisgners and scientists, we have to dispense of with huge classes of jobs like marketing people , sales people  bankers, CEOs anyone who is having a salary of 10000000 $£ etc is out. I dont believe any one ads that much value to a company.

All old boys clubs should be out, all contacts, networking should be out, all groupism out, all fart CVs should be out.
genuineness instead of facets or postering.
my solution -  is choose the win win solution to the best of our current knowlege.

what is shallow and what is deep

I liked my cousins post on facebook against people who say dark is not beautiful. All colors are beautiful, then I thought in the same lines... tall and short - how come tall is more beautiful than short and it is not even considered a discrimination?
and what about our obsession with "big"?  Having grown up like Sheldon cooper, I had totally missed it that big boobs are supposed to be better, hence so many complaints by girls about how their blouses were like shirts (dont embarrass me!) and how some girl was flat! giggles! or pride by others on their size( dont gross me out!! Shut up already)  was totally lost on me untill very late in the day the light finally lit and I was like Oooooo...
Why no campaign against that? all body shapes are cool as long as u are healthy? or not?
About weight loss, nobody is talking about being stronger, Oh BTW if u think about being stronger and healthier rather than being thin with big boobs - u are a lesbian :-p
what about hair? or hair loss? bald men ?
let alone skin color, we judge people by dresses too...
I dont like men who wear cuff links :D

We may consciously say no to being superficial, but superficiality runs deep. we like people who look like us. We may say fair is beautiful, but we like people who are like us.

Coming to the point- what about discrimination based on social background and culture. I look down upon people who are on social benefits.

saying fair is beautiful dark is not - is superficial
saying only 36-24 -36 figure is beautiful - is superficial
saying only men with hair on head are handsome is superficial? [but my dad is bald and I think he is very handsome :D ]
but the fact is we like one type and dont like some other... some women like cute faces and some like rugged, some like facial hair and some hate...to an extent it is superficial but it is no crime surely?
It becomes a crime when the likes and dislikes start becoming discriminating? but the line is very thin.
Isnt giving importance to education also some kind of superficiality?
like how Sheldon is obsessed with Phd .. superficial?
when does preference become superficiality, when does it become racist?

There was this quiz which had interesting questions like
do u think it is racist if a person wants to be friends with people of his own race - YES
do u think it is racist if a person wants to marry people of his own race- yes...
do u think it is racist if a person wants to marry people of his own religion - no...
Why is this any different? hmmm it is not. the difference of what is acceptable and not is very superficial.