remember http://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2011/07/synchronocity-2.html??
materialised today :P :P :P .. but well again not magically.. butterfly did sit on my hand.. but I think I kinda forced its hand :-) This black butterfly is stuck in the hallway and trying get out of a closed window! dumb fly!  I try to scare it other way- out of the door ..  it  goes every other way than towards the door..  finally its kind of cornered (but not quite cornered enough to feel that is it not synchronocity :P ) and  lands on my shirt and then on my hand ... :-) quickly transported out of the door! phew! and ye!!! :-)

This reminds me of 100 years of solitude, It  was a long and tedious read, but there is one guy in that with yellow butterflies following him everywhere.. Ah I wish I was like that guy!


"It was then that [Meme] realized that the yellow butterflies preceded the appearances of Mauricio Babilonia. She had seen them before...but when Mauricio began to pursue her like a ghost that only she could identify in the crowd, she understood that the butterflies had something to do with him."
 — from One Hundred Years of Solitude

bob cat
black red butterfly
tiny sparrow with red crest
myna(? I guess) with a red cherry in mouth
steam engine! :-) puffing under the bridge! was it rainy day so I saw the puffing?
parrots..
wet grass
empty green fields
hmmm....
dingy rainy weather ,drizzling and grey...but still bliss .. I dono!
mind is really a monkey.. it just goes on roller coaster rides just for fun!!!

bliss continues... day three! yesterday It was long shadows and slant golden sun rays... looked like a picture out of a novel.... hmmmm...I feel like I am floating a few feet above my head! Err should I jinx it by writing like this, then again roller coaster can go up and down no matter what! so I wont bother being worried about it going down, because it will.. Today I hand fed geese! ye!!! :-) thanks to the moms who feed these guys bread, I guess they've become quite bold. come and demand me for food.. They ate all prawns from my prawn rice! One was bold enough to pick food off my hand :) :-} :-} thats a wide grin! One day i'll feed sparrows out of my hand ,like that guy in Regents park. Were those just sparrows or hummingbirds as well?? I saw few fly by without landing on this hand! crazy man really, I dono how he got them to trust him so much!
edit: Day four rainbow! :-) 

Gopi Krishna and Kundalini

:-)                     [WARNING: TOTALLY OCCULT]
The latest book.
Well when I tell people I meditate, people are immediately interested! " I also want to start meditating!" "How do u do it!" I made one tutorial also - how to begin meditation and get on with it. I have lot of experience with false starts so I know the best way to get into this habit.
why do people want to meditate?
mostly it is  control temper, control emotions, peace of mind or with slightly younger crowd it is improve concentration and focus, brain power etc.
Seems like meditation is a very benign activity and very beneficial one at that.  but is it?  Most of these people who enquire about all this dont really get into meditation and stuff! and now I think thats a good thing!
because are we really ready for what all meditation can bring into your life? :-) Are we really really ready? Am I ready?
You should read Gopi Krishnas experience with meditation and Kundalini, if u are casually planning on dabbing into meditation, It may scare u away :P. but If you are like me, crazyly whiriling away into meditation and sprituality you MUST MUST MUST read. Trust me, you do.
May not be the most interesting read, but it is a very honest account of his experience. I skipped all the commentary by some westerner who analysed what gopi krishna experienced. not relevant for me.

BTW what is this Kundalini!?
Err...if u are not really into these things this will all be Over Head Transmission for you. Also if you are not really into these things go very light on meditation and pranayama also ok?
Kundalini is Energy, Psychic Energy which is believed to be lying dormant at the base of our spine. It is not the same as Prana. Prana is called life force, It is the energy which is behind all life.There is prana is earth, the sun, There is prana is all living things bla bla.. The mystical concepts are not really concrete..the definitions are kinda vague.. u need to read a lot of get a feel of what all this is.
Kundalini is not just energy. It is consciousness as well. Meaning this energy has a mind of its own, even tho it stays in your body.It is not something which human will can really control. It is supposed to be very powerful energy. It is called a goddess - Shakti. i.e Durga/ Gayitri/Kali. On the other hand, Prana can be controlled by our mind, u can pull in or direct prana like during healing etc. It is flowing all over your body this very minute. Kundalini is a more potent energy which can be awakened so as to say by meditation, by exercises, by concentration and sometimes by accident. As the energy is so powerful, it can play havoc with the mind and body, if you are not ready for it.. so that's why ancient yogis prescribed strict diet, and regime and yoga asanas and mind /emotional control!!! That was to prepare the person for the eventuality of kundalini awakening. They do not by themselves lead to any awakening. Having a clean mind and strong body is not necessary for Kundalni to awaken, but when it does awaken - clean mind and strong body can make the difference between life and death. between sanity and insanity. Kundalni will enhance every damn emotion, so any weakness like fear and anger etc can go so haywire and the person can go mad. similarly the body.. kundalni energy flowing thro the body isn't just a mystical/other dimension thing. It is very physical.. it affects the heat of the body, blood pressure, muscles,organs and nerves..It completely rewires the brain and the nervous system. Gopi krishna actually calls it the next step in evolution. Any wrong food, any wrong exercise can be crippling. Kundalni can also lead to weird sexual symptoms.. I think some of those fallen swamis may not be fake but may probably be victims of this.
It seems scary so why is everyone after it, why is it sort after? because even tho the initial steps of awakening are painful, there is hope of union with Divine Source(GK's words) Also occult powers... and many people get into it without really looking for it.. devotional people - extreme devotion to god can lead to awakening, Psychedelic drugs can also  lead to this- magic mushrooms,LSD, some say even cannabis..( If you are into Meditation or if u have a history of mental illnes in your family NEVER EVER even TOUCH any drugs. NONE!) Intense mental concentration - pranayama and meditation  - even done with no particular occult aspirations can also lead to awakening. But it is really surprising that everyone advocates meditation and concentration etc etc but no one knows the consequence of  it.. mind becoming calm and all are initial stages of it.. but invariably it unites with the Occult side of things...actually doing only mind control and meditation without occult study is stupid and dangerous. This is exactly what happened with Gopi Krishna.. and I suspect with infinite number of other poor people who are diagnosed with mental diseases and physical ones too...
One aunt of mine had very very high BP.. doctors were perplexed how she is alive with such high BP and not going mad, they tried everything didn't find the cure..or the reason for it. poor thing suffered a lot..
I think it was Kundalini - prematurely coming up.
The other symptoms could be hearing voices and seeing people... brain is being rewired and new senses are possibly being awakened...anyone who's even studied a lot of occult will doubt their own sanity in such circumstances... Imagine what will happen to lame person if this happens to them. Especially sad are those people who have kundalini awakened due to accident due to sudden knock on Cocyx or tail bone. Otherwise thankfully its not too easy to awaken kundalini...
They say scientific genius and artistic genius can also be attributed to higher than normal kundalni flow to the brain... just the right combination of brain and body and kundalni will lead to genius and if not right then to maddness... havent you seen mental illness and genius run in the same families? most scientists and artists have   close relatives who were schizophrenic - some poor people like Nash are themselves ill.. This is because kundalni is like walking a razor edge and those poor dears dont even know they are walking it.
It is the greatest wish of Gop krishna that people research this phenomenon.. it is not hard to test the effect of kundalni and the physical body but it needs an open mind. unfortunately not found in todays scientific community. ..
There is lot more to Kundalni actually, There is supposed to be a hollow tube in our spinal chord - Sushmana.. there are two nerves(??) or Naadi's which are spiralling it. Ida and Pingala -. This is all not in the physical dimension I would think. Ida is cooling and Pingala is heating.. in normal people the energy( Prana I would think because Kundalni is still dormant? but not sure) flows thru Ida and Pingala, but when Kundalni awakens it flows thro Sushmana. Anuloma viloma pranayama is especially effective in balancing the energy in Ida and Pingala.. and cleaning up the energy body.. good thing to do before kundalni awakens.
The western symbol of medicine caduceus seems to represent this concept. ( just now learnt that this is mistakenly used as symbol of medicine and isnt actually the symbol of medicine! oh well!)
BTW rumour has it that the free masons are supposed to know all about this but just like ancient bramhins they are hiding it! and trying to control the world all by themselves.. :-) 

kabhi khushi kabhi gum

sad.. again :-) same circumstances mood keeps changing! why are u so fickle, my mood? one day u are happy one day u are sad... u want something u dont get u are sad, u get - u get used to it u are sad...
is the solution to this to be stone willed and numb? Why not go with the flow- bob up and down and learn to still enjoy?

Loved this Zidagi na mile dobara song, Says the same thing so nicely.. ( but I cant say ki Maine Jeena Seekh Liya yet :-)



Der lagi lekin,  Maine ab hai jeena seekh liya
Jaise bhi ho din, Maine ab hai jeena seekh liya
Ab maine...Yeh jaana hai,
khushi hai kya, gumm kya
Dono hi, do pal ki hai ruttein
Na yeh thehre, na rukey
Zindagi, do rangon se bane
Ab roothe ab maane
Yehi toh hai, yehi toh hai, yahaan!

Raksha bandhan( u guessed it!! feminist rant)

I dont like Raksha Bandhan. I find it sexist! ( Aiyo! sikkapatte kopa nange, Indian Culture bagge! Very sexist culture it is!! I want to let go of anger. Anger = something's there which needs to be understood/resolved. Want to transition from being angry to being understanding. But sex ratio of 700:1000 seriously put me right back on feminist anger track..so I rant and vent)
Raksha bandhan... I want to think - sweet festival and all! showing brother love? I like showing love for family brother mother parents etc...(yeah I do as long as its not soppy :P) but Does it have to be demeaning... Always? Why does every "showing love" look to  me, suspiciously like re-enforcing man's higher place in the social hierarchy?   Why do Indian festivals/customs always insist on demeaning and degrading women( and sometimes men) to show love? God! their concept of love is more like Dog->human love. I love dogs but lets face it - Its meaningless devotion.
Eat ur husbands left overs/fast/fall at his feet/burn urself.. true lowe itseems all that is! Crap.
Brother - ask him for protection itseems!! Arrey If u are a self respecting brother, Please teach such sisters to protect themselfs in life! and to earn for themseves! because boss there is no big brother holding a safety net in real life! and sometimes u fall!  and this is a good excuse to fleece him of money! As if brother paying for big dowry and grand wedding aren't enough! again that is our definition of brotherly lowe! Sacrifice! How I hate that concept!
Diwali - all men in the family will get one Arati! why? Its always establishing strict hierarchy than anything else... sometimes men are not spared.. like brother in law expected to fall at elder brothers wives feet!
Its not just these feminist things,  exchanging obligatory gifts ...again people say its love, its not! its formality. people keep track of what all gifts were received and the cost of the gifts! in writing! no less!!
Everyone sees this, but everyone defends all this culture. ( but everyone sees evil  in others culture :-) like north Indian will see evil south Indian culture and vice versa :-) how come? how come you dont get angry about all this like me? how come girls feel pride and joy in doing Arati? In saying protect me? (eww.. he he he  I think its my tomboy instincts that make me go eww... :D ) anyway...
I loved JK for saying this that society expects to keep everyone on a tight leash, wants to kill independent thinking,creativity and freedom. It tries to leash us at our conscience... make us feel guilt for free thinking. because free thinking is danger to the society.

rewind - re-play?

I wonder if we can use our brain as a review buffer.( for the uninitialised :-P (anyone out of STB domain) Its a feature where u can rewind ur TV program anytime and watch what u just missed. Just like that.)

During training I am listening to the instructor.. for a few moments my attention wanders, some thoughts come in. I come back to the training and Ive missed a few sentences...

My ear has heard the sentences, my eyes have seen, It has gone into the brain portions which process this as well.. and as the processing of this data is not conscious that also is done .Its probably recorded in short term memory?( not sure of this) but the light of our dear old consciousness hasnt shined on that sound and vision. Can I rewind that particular statement like we do on PVR box and rehear it? can I program myself to do it? That would require a tiny portion of my consciousness to be always recording and mainting a few minutes of data.. We probably do it anyway (case studies of brain damaged people and schizophrenic people show they use lot of unconsciously recorded data...).. but  memory  accessible to conscious mind is only that when we actually paid attention  (Damn!). Can we always pay a little attention even when we drift away? and implement review bufffer in our head? Or can we find a way to access even that memory when we din pay attention?!

plant tips

Pudina or Mint plant was doing fine untill a few weeks ago, then all leaves started going yellow and falling off :-( I watered more, watered less, fertilizer..more sun.. no effect.
When u try everything and still your potted plant doesnt seem happy, its time to see if your plant has become completely root bound, meaning the roots of the plant have grown so much that they have fillled up the entire pot. No place in the pot for mud. The plant has grown too big for the pot, So repot into bigger pot or cut out the roots a little( this is scary I didnt actually do this) and pot back into same pot.
Pudina plant is doing well in the new bigger pot now.. all yellows returned back to Green and lot of new leaves! ye!

Money tree!! grr dont move this bugger. I thought it will get more sun in the other window. moved it and it dropped all its leaves! getting new ones tho! I read on the net that this guy doesnot like to be moved or to be repotted. I was tempted to repot as its a huge tree in a small pot. apparently this is how it likes it. now its back in its old place.. new leaves coming up, let us see...

Maiden hair fern- It was a nice green bush shrub, but very soon wilted and was left with absolutely no leaves at all.. Reason?  It doesnot like to be sprayed with mist :-( I thought ferns like moisture. but this one hates it. and it needs lot of watering. Most plants prefer to be under watered than over watered, but this one liked to be over watered.  Now its a thriving plant sitting in my bathroom, getting watered every day, mositure but no mist spray.

Ek khushbu aati thi,
Ek khushbu aati thi,
Main bhatakta jaata tha,
Reshmi si maaya thi,
Aur main taktaa jaata tha,

Jab teri gali aaya, sach tabhi nazar aaya,
Jab teri gali aaya, sach tabhi nazar aaya,

Mujh mein hi woh khushbu thi,
Jisse tune milwaya,

Maula maula maula mere maula,
Maula maula maula mere maula,
Maula maula maula maula,
Maula maula maula maula,

Darare darare hain maathe pe maula,
Murammat muqadaar ki kar do maula,
Mere maula..

synchronocity 2

I was inspired by one black cat manifestation story, so I decide try this myself,  to manifest butterflies.... :-D
I am in a park so  its not very hard to see butter flies. so to make it more challenging I try a red butterfly.. I try to visualise it.. I find it a little hard.. so I visualise a big group of yellow butterflies for a while. Then I lie in the grass waiting  ;-P I see 2 butterflies flying far away...come close butterfly..not happening...... On the way back home, There is this girl holding out a poster for Natural history museum , Butterfly park with Orange red butterfly :-) I was expecting this kind of thing... Its common! When we are looking out for something we find it. ( I m going to that butterfly park BTW, Isnt it wonderful that when u want something, u are shown the path to it? :-)   :-P )
Just now I am watching Two and a half men episode with Charlie's mothers wedding. She is getting married to one Ted and Alan is the wedding planner. Alan spends the entire episode worrying about flowers and frozen butterflies which are supposed to come alive and fly off into the sunset as the bride and groom kiss.. But when the moment comes,  Berta  is trying to get a cardboard box full of still frozen butterflies to fly.. unfortunately and obviously they dont .. she offers to microwave them for a bit and try again...:-) Berta is Evil! Any way they were Yellow butterflies!!! LOL!
I didnt catch the butterfly reference untill this scene! Those guys up there have a sense of humour or what? I wouldnt ever imagine seeing butterflies in a two and a half men episode!! When I tried to manifest butterflies I never imagined they'd be 100 and dead ones!  LOL! Ive seen almost all episodes of 2 1/2 men! never seen one butterfly in them!!  LOL! :-) Tho later I did notice a butterfly pattern on the Shrink's silk shirt :-)
I expect miracles and things  manifest in such mundane ways. :-)
(Reminded me of monkey paw story which made ur wishes comes true in most morbid ways )

why is my stomach so fat?

Fat stomach! I was really curious to know what exactly is there in this fat stomach, I cant really accept that my  big fat tummy is just  full of fat!! There must be something else...? I mean tummy gain is kind of disproportional to the weight gain and it didnt seem to change with my fittness? Tumour or something!!!? ! but no ... we get so many scans done...Err constipation... Always? Eww... no!! .. So is it all fat after all? What is the mystery of the belly? 
The first answer is off course fat.
Its called adipose tissue.. there are two types of fat deposited in the stomach. Behind the skin - subcutaneous fat and inbetween the organs- Visceral fat or organ fat!! - sounds familiar? in relation to pork and beef? :-D? eww ? :-) yeah we too have that visceral fat.  This fat is lining up all our organs like stomach intestine liver etc etc.. apparently there is this  peritoneal cavity, like a plastic bag which lines our organs... and belly fat just fills this up with fat cells. This is the most dangerous kinda fat which can bring on diabetes , heart disease etc..
How exactly is the fat stored? as fat cells - adipocytes. each cell has a droplet of fat in it!  like little pearls..
What exactly is this fat - from Wiki : The fat stored is in a semi-liquid state, and is composed primarily of triglycerides and cholesteryl ester. Ester? feels like some past life memory from Organic chemistry..but I lose interest here.
The story does not end here.. Thats not all.... the fat tummy u see in most people is not just fat.. how come some very slim people have fat tummies.. why do tummies not disappear inspite of exersice?  answer to this is not in physiology at all but in physics! in Posture!!! 
The worst culprit is the Slouch! - Hunch  back, Rounded shoulders and  tummy is pushed forward by 2 inches... straighten up and .. see the tummy disappear.
Some have a very straight back but still  have this fat tummy? Ok there is another thing - Anterior pelvic tilt. 

This makes u look like u have a round fat tummy AND a fat butt ! not good at all.. Its a very common posture problem. and not as easy to detect or not as hated as the slouch. I think kids have this naturally, should correct itself as we grow, but if it does not, it can cause lower back pain. 
How do we correct this? not as easy as correcting the slouch.. we probably have pelvic tilt because the lower ab muscles are not strong enough..
ah! so secret of flat stomach is really in holding it in eh? yeah! a bit like that. preventing the pelvic tilt is like holding stomach in naturally.. but that happens if u have good strong muscles in the lower abdomen, thighs, lower back etc.. There are many exercises to correct this.
http://inhumanexperiment.blogspot.com/2009/11/5-simple-exercises-for-correcting.html


And now the evidence!

The last one is without holding the breath/stomach in.
Looks like belly fat is 30% fat and 70% bad posture. Now this belly fat is finally reasonable! no?! 

quote from sex and the city

Charlotte is gushing about how she met this guy and how it is fate and all that...

Miranda: It’s not fate… His light is on. That’s all.
Charlotte: What light?
Miranda: Men are like cabs. When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and they decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever. And they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up, boom, that's the one they'll marry. It’s not fate, it’s dumb luck.
Charlotte: I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that love is that random.
Miranda: Please, it's all about timing. You gotta ge t'em when their light's on.
Carrie: Most men I meet are flashing yellows.
Miranda: Or off-duty... They can drive around for years picking up women and not be available.
Carrie: Then they really shouldn't be allowed to get behind the wheel.
Miranda: Most men don’t stay lit long before they take the plunge versus most women who have been lit pretty much since birth.

so true! :D that was just awesome!

Growth

I ve noticed that these days I talk to myself more in terms of -  You do this - do that..rather than I will do this do that. I m wondering if someone reading blog may feel like I am lecturing them and get offended LOL!! I m just talking to myself!

Gyan from pranic healing... Also from Jiddu K about sensitivity and observing and chrism.

When u have compassion and understanding, u grow above the people who are upsetting and irritating you, they start looking like children which are misbehaving. U understand why they behave the way they do - anger, insecurity, resentment, misunderstand etc. U will feel sad and sorry and pity for them.. not in  a bad mocking way but in a nice way - with empathy and compassion. 

[I can understand this for normal circumstances but how can u feel kindness for paedophiles and rapists? and for taliban? especially in the context of  cutting off the ears and nose of that girl in Afghanistan...Dawood and pak govt.. kindness and understand for AIDS virus for example.. how can you grow above them? ]

Only people like Jesus and Buddha can and GandhiJi too..I dont think anyone else could ever imagine that nonviolence is the solution to any conflict, but all this terrorism convinces me  its the only solution.. (somehow Krishna falls short when compared to these saints :-( ) I used to feel irritated and feel that they are stupid and sissy. There is a story of a saint who was trying to rescue a scorpion from water and it was repeatedly biting him. he says scorpion is following its nature by biting and I am folllowing my nature as human that is to be kind.. now I understand and respect that saint's greatness. 

reflection

[More gyan - what to do... its the books may be]

What ever bothers us in others is a reflection of ourselves,

the world is a mirror and it only reflects us.

what we dont have in Us doesnot bother us...

Its a nice trigger point to start self examination. It is usually true.

- Demian, also echoed by Louise Hay

refusing help from others

It is equally important to take help as well as to help others. we are brought up to believe ( my parents firmly believed) that we should not accept help from others as far as possible. they really emphasized independence and self reliance.  That has stood me in a good steed. but upto an extent...
When people refuse to take help from me ( guess who! :-D  ) I realise how important it is to let people who love you and whom you love to help. That makes them more free to ask you for help. Not that I approve of getting all needy or of using/misusing helpful people... but its ok  sometimes to ask,even when u dont need-need help.
No one feels comfortable asking for help from an independent person. They dont have the face to ask u because u have never asked them for anything. Actualy it really makes people feel very bad about the whole situation when u want o help but always refuse help... May also come across as Ego.. (yeah Ego, independence is good but not asking help because of ego is really bad)
Actually I m sometimes guilty of this, but when I m on other side - some of them come across as proud and independent(Like!) but some condescending, like they have a superior air about themselves( Hate!)...  If I look back this has left a bad taste in me and I have avoided such people...

Its important to understand that refusing to be helped is as bad as refusing help. Its the same as refusing help- next time.

The pleasure of reading a good book is while you are reading it and not on finishing it...

summer slipping away

why spoil the moment by trying to hold on?
savour what is, now.. why think of if it will be tomorrow and worry
why think  why it was not there yesterday and cry?
What ever happy/sad will pass.. thats what life is like.. a flowing river.

 I know all this but the first signs of red on the trees worrying me. winter is coming .. Its a long way away.. but I want to hold on to summer ...
I bladed about how spring was so wonderful because of difficult winter and everything.... but still I want summer to last for ever :-(
Silly me.

The thought of winter in summer should keep us grounded (instead of worry)and the thought of summer in winter should cheer us by giving hope(instead of longing). 

When god closes a door he opens a window...

Sunny day - sleeping on grass and reading in the sun! Priceless!  Its almost addictive ... unfortunately this whole week, Its sunny when I am in the tube, I keep dreaming of going and reading a book in the park but as soon as I get to my station, its cloudy :-(

Saturday also started off cloudy, rainy infact.. but afternoon, the Sky cleared up - beautiful sun and blue skies :-) Yuppie! I forgot lunch and the weather forecast, I put on sunscreen, threw the umbrella away  and off to the park I went, with my book and cherries. :D 

Ok! u guessed it.. :-D soon its cloudy, 5 mins of book reading.. sky turning completely dark grey , I wont  let this affect my rare optimism ! no no no! and then  rain  in another 5  :-) .  What  kind of  really unusual bout of optimism made me sit in the park till this point, that too without umbrella?.. Sunscreen and everything  too!! LOL!  Grrrr... walking back and midway a small clearing opens up in the sky and sun peeps out.. mocking me!! come back and read that book eh? no way! grrr... always coming out to mock me!! Big Tease! and Oh BTW u cant lie down in the grass anyway, after rains, Its all Wet! and muddy! grrr.. Anyway I walk over this bridge still grumbling at the sun..  and guess what? :-)

Beautiful big fat rainbow!! just over the brigde! :-D wow wow wow!!! My first rainbow in London really!! :-D Wow!! I feel really sheepish now ! Thank you sun..:-$, and ...err... sorry for grumbling...:-D so sweet of the sun to come out and make a rainbow for me :-) Thank you ! Thank you! Thank you! :-) 

Hesse

Read two books by Herrman Hesse  Demian and Peter Camenzind.. Ive read Siddharta before.. I like them.. At this point they seem more like fiction, like able fiction with a spiritual tinge.. more teenage angst like... I think Hesse has struggled a lot with what to make of morality and religion and everything... all 3 books have a similar theme. Ive felt this way at times, like I dont belong and I am different and whole world is going in a rut and all that.. but as I grow older ... Then Hesse wrote these novels in his 20's...When I had read Siddhartha a few years ago I had felt it to be very spiritual book.
Demian made me very curious about what Carl Jung is all about.. I will read him soon.. archetypes and Id and all that.. or was it Freud?  Ah I should read these two sometime.  but before that more Herrman Hesse :D
( I like his kinda dark and brooding world...? Or Its a matter of habit - I like to go into familiar worlds - Chronicles of Narnia.. I read one book. I stop and after a few days I feel  Whats up in Narnia these days.. same with Two and a half men.. I dont watch one day I  feel like ah something;s missing I didn't meet charlie today :-))
What really stuck me is that in all his women are just like a precious vase or a painting or something, like something to be kept in the museum and adored. I mean all Hesse characters love the women supposedly passionately but always from a distance :-) and the very close emotional bonds are all between the guys...
is this how it is with all early 19th century writers?  or is Herrman... Gay? or atleast he had a strong inclination.. I think.. :-)  I dono if I am corrupted by this society or what but I felt the same about Tintin too...( and others on the internet agree :D)  ... Sholay, all those 70's heros friendships... dont we speculate about that all... :) I do! ( Oh yeah I speculate about all the unmarried women writters of early 18th 19th century too)

In Maine Pyar Kiya there is this 'I love to HATE' dialogue - Ek Ladka or Ek Ladki kabhi dost nahi hoskte.. after 20 years today.. Ek Ladka and Ek Ladka bhi kabhi dost nahi hosakte ...:D  Karma!!!! :-)

-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-
I actually think I liked Demian and Peter C so much because, I read it along side 'Think on these things' by Jiddu K. It was like JK is telling youth to break away from patterns and society and ur own mind.. and think on their own and understand.... and there are these boys in the other book who are actually struggling with the same issues and trying to break away. These two fit in so beautifully. Awesome. Only when I finished JK book today I realised this :-)

I should read my old posts.. I wrote this blog so that repetitive ideas dont bug me.. once I write down it is done, I hoped. but looks like thoughts have taken a wide circle of like 2-3 years and are coming back :-) nice to read old posts and feel oh yeah. Ive thought this before.. nothing new :)

Dont be a Preetam, Brain!!(music composer stealing frm around the world -if you forget who preetam is)

Dont remix- get something new!

Nostalgia

Eragon makes me nostalgic for the good old days.I dono how but some writers create this world so well in our imaginatiosn..I think it happens when u resonate with whats being written..( sad tho that the Eragon part 3 has turned out so boring, I think the author had enough talent for just one book :-( )

Candle light and kerosine lamps being lit...Traders coming in in winder with their wares...

The old story teller telling stories in the middle of the town center..
This just took be back to mid 1970's. no, I wasnt even born but this period makes me nostalgic. When my mum ,my aunts were not married. They all stayed together, young girls - there was no TV,internet ... so wat did they do to pass time? after school/college? they knitted - embroidered- stitched.

they did house work - got water in pots , cooked on wood stoves.. rubokallu - it was used upto even early 90's! read novels in the afternoons, went to temple..giggled and talked with each other , visited neighbors...bitter sweet to imagine this.. its all so sweet and innocent and some what deprived.

Cut to 1980 when we were kids.. oil lamps during power cuts, summer holidays, cousins, family stories. I love love love those times when everyone sat togther and old stories were brought out... Rs house they talk to old funny stories..I really loved to hear of old days when granny and granpa and my uncle and dad were realy poor their hard ships. My mom and bro and their adventures.. every body used to pitch-in in those stories.. granma, uncle..aunts..all beds spread out on the ground and this idle chit chat. for them that was Nostalgia and for us stories! ah how I miss summer holidays and those innocent days...
Dharwad! I loved those old pillow covers and table clothes,old maxis stitched from old sarees, I especially loved my grand moms work... croquet mats, those cloth birds with bead work and chandeliers made with glass bars...It was all so much more beautiful because those were so old... real glass beads not cheap plastic ones. ah Grandma's place makes me so nostalgic.. old furniture..that small wall mirror which was lil too high for me.. with a lil draw at the bottom, I think I could just about reach the draw and peep into it, couldnt really look into the mirror :-) and the cradle :-D we have sat on it, 3 teenagers at a time.Cast Iron so it survived! Piles of old beds and bedsheets.. she kept it just for us, for holiday traffic :D I loved to jump on all that and make it fall... ah!! and under granny bed! Granpas tressures! ah how I loved to look at those! old christmas lights ( diwali lights really :D but there was that star in that....easter star) Akasha butti they called it..and very old cameras...and diamonds :D my aunts old jewellery...mossy smell in the house, high ceilings sky light .. I cant forget that pillar of light in the hall and kitchen...Old Chikku Trees, our Mountain inside the compound - big rock really, but it was huge at least 15 feet high - so mountain! and the other hill from which we could see the train...Tanga..colored chalk rocks mom called it matti kallu... yellow maroon pink.. ( Isle of wright has something similar) I love those days! 

DD just one channel but we waited like crazy for those choosen few serials... Giant Robot, Micky and Donald show, Spiderman I used to love sundays...starts off with Rangoli :) 8-9 break for breakfast brush teeth etc etc then Heman, Mahabharat, disney show, adventures of alladin and some such thing then lunch...boring afternoon movie which we didn't watch ... so sleep in the afternoon or play something then by street hawk, Spiderman etc then nice movie in the evening :) There was no weekend, there was only Sunday. Ads used to come only before and after the program not in between. what ever break was for the news :-)

Bathrooms with Hande's stone floors, totti - sometimes lot of wood and cockroaches in that wood. Now even bucket and jug are disappearing from the bathroom, my house- just shower and bath tub! all of us sleeping in one big all on the floor, no phones and cars at home. kids going by bus walk cycle to school.. things are changing so much... 

We are probably the generation which has seen most change in India. no, probably kids who were born 10 years earlier.. I feel sad for them, they spent their youth in the boring 80.. for us alteast the 90s were decent. we got best of both worlds.. grandmas, summer holidays ,climbing trees and running around on streets and everything and IT and the economic growth also..