I want to get over the feeling of embarrassment over what I feel and how my mind works. I think it works great and I dont want to worry about the consequences of people knowing my thoughts about how people judge me by all this.
All these thigsn happen to me -
I am embarrassed. I do wonder if I should be mroe guarded, this definitely makes me feel more vulnerable .
Its more like everyone is guarded so should I be, then amn;t I telling myself that others know better than me, whcih I dont want to.
some practical reasons why i dont keep it in a folder is
I am not organised, so i lose what ever I have written before, I want to keep a concrete record of what I have written for a long while.
when i have kept it to myself before I had stopped writing before, lets see if this blog thing withstands the test of time.
Also went to quite some length to hide what I have written - someone finding it by accident and stuff - was that really wrht it? I din like the tension of that.
Then I cud have made a blog and not shared it.. that was the intention, but then I thought what have I got to hide really? and why? let me hide when i suffer.. Ill learn better then.
I once wore a ridiculous dress when I was a kid, all my cousins were refusing to wear it, me brave heart wore it. and It was talked about for days and made fun off.. I realised then why noone esle was trying it :D but then... do i really care still about others. dont i want to stop?
wont i not learn at all if I am cautious, Ill be living on borrowed knowledge. or am I dumber, i cant learn from other people - like rishi says u cant make all the mistakes yourself u have to learn from others. THAT is the first lesson that I have to learn from others if I have to learn from others. :-)
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