modes of operation

8 dresses sorted in one day, these have been lying around my cupboard for years now, they are either loose or tight or dont have buttons or dont fit or something. and just one saturday evening. each one of them was sorted! The machine which was not touched for 6 months came out. and it didnt stall!! I even managed to wind the bobin- Ive never been able to before. cut snip stitch and it was done!

Why! I mean why was it done so easily! why couldnt I do this before? not that i havent tried. there have been many many failed attempts. The machine stalls, the thread gets stuck . or It just doesnot work out I end up stitching and re stitching and it never works out....

I realise I work in two modes heart mode and head mode. When I work in heart mode( Let us call it that for now) the work gets done real fast and well and i enjoy it. the other that is drudgery achieved with will power. pushing myself up hill. the first one is like down hill path, even on a cycle may be. I dont think when i am in heartmode, i just do. I took the chalk drew up the lines, cut it up and stitched. no measurements, no hesitation...Its kind of lettings the work flow, It doesnt just apply to stitchign, drawing, writing, gardening, even office work - very rarely i manage to get into the mode and then it flows and it works out really great.

This is not the same for many people, some ppl can do anything with their will power, they have only one mode, a good mode. They work by perspiration and not by my inspiration. I can work with perspiration too, but when i try to do that i think I sabotage myself by all these stalls and stumbles? Have those people found the trick of switching to my so called heart mode at will and no work is drudgery to them? I dont think so actually. I think they just push through the uphill on a low steady gear. They think it is duty It has to be done and it will be done and they do it well... are they built differently? ummm they have different values...

Me, I want to find the magic of switching into heart mode and sail down hill through any damn task I have at hand, I want to find the switch. I switch to Nirvana :-D