are we becoming fake in the quest to be nice?

These days I find that we are all complimenting each other all the time, Wow you look lovely! Lovely dress! Wow your paintings are so beautiful!  There is a very definite expectation - atleast from the women that some compliment will pass from your lips when you meet them. Especially in the west and especially the little girls even as young as 4! You have to say my princess is so pretty!!! You are the cutest! If I forget, I can see their face fall and their parents will remind me Ahem!!... Oh yeah!! you are so cute!
This is the result of the positive thinking revolution I guess.  We are being so positive, so nice to each other! This is very good for us! This MUST be very good for us right?
Or is it?
People used to give in to their natural urges like jealousy, their bitterness, their anger and make rude and nasty comments about us before. I didn't like it. This is infact definitely better than that but ...

I think this is making us more prone to depression and sadness. One type of person relies too much on this kind of outside validation to be happy and is depressed when they dont get that 100th like on Insta.  another ( like me ) just discounts all positive feedback as flattery. I put all compliments in a Not true box. less dangerous of the two but u could say I am having trust issues?

 When we are doing this all praise we are doing a great dis-service to the person by not giving true feedback that will help them grow. Saying it like it is with out malice is a very valuable thing, even tho we dont like what we hear, it is good for us. like medicine.

We also need to ask ourselves, are we being nice for the sake of others or for us? Being nice is an easy way to be liked. Telling truth is hard work, it may make us unpopular. So is it for others or for us that we are being nice?

Not only that - What does not kill you, makes u stronger.  We are becoming snowflakes ( yes I used that word, you liberals! go on a flame war! ha! but u cant cause this blog is so private! ha! ) We are becoming like princesses who get bruised by a hair which is under 7 blankets. Whats with all the Fat shaming, thin shaming,  trigger warnings? ppl! Just deal with it! no? We are not able to deal with even little bit criticism because we are used to being coddled. Standing up to abuse is a good thing, but being cowed down by it is not. No pain no gain doesnot apply just for the body.  To make us strong we need to learn to deal with negative feelings.

Again my instincts in psychology seem to be supported by research.  Just as I thought! Mindset book talks about this as well, How boys who generally keep putting each other down are unaffected by other peoples opinion or comments that much and can stand up for criticism or failures much better in life than girls who are used to hearing only good things.