Magic, apparently magic is what I truely want. What I really really want is to sit on top of that huge huge tree under moon light with Totoro :-) 

This is not the first time this has come up in meditation, This is the second time Magic has come up as deepest desire in my meditations. The longing is strong and deep and genuine.  It makes me very emotional, This is why I love Studio Ghibli movies That is the magic I m craving for.