Manifesting and affirmation

Okay okay u may think its woo woo and all but I think I figured how to do it!  Not that it worked so far ;-)

So the big kick was when I was listening to Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza. He gave two examples of  how doing things in the mind actually affects the body and our brain structure.

One physical example is experiments where olympic athletes practice in their mind and it helps in real world. Read this
https://www.businessinsider.com/olympic-athletes-and-power-of-visualization-2015-1?r=US&IR=T
I have done this when I had knee pain when I went to yoga.

Second example for other not physical outcome, such as having more money, better job or relationship or for emotions like to feel happy, feel gratitude etc.
Basically the same thing, basically told by every affirmation book. BUT ... difficult to digest isn't it? Somehow was never convinced about this before, even tho I was convinced about the first one since day one.
However when this guy said it clicked.
When u visualise the other life situation you want, you should make the energy of your body - match the thoughts. Its not just seeing your self in a situation but also feeling it.  When we think the new thoughts, we should make ourself  mind feel like the outcome has happened.
First we need to cut the connection to the default feeling how imagining a situation brings about
For example, talking to new people. you feel a dread.
If you say affirmations, I am good with people. 10,000 times but feel the dread, nothing is going to work.
but if you say I am good with people then notice the dread, feel it , cut it out and replace with good feeling ( which is hard part- may be do loving kindness meditation ?) then this will become reality.

This is also not new, but may be how he explained it, clicked.

Feelings are chemicals and hormones secreted when we think certain thoughts,  and we feel this in our body. Emotions are felt in the body at different locations.  So He says, when we think in a certain way, it makes our body feel in certain way, and because we are feeling like this, our brain scans for more similar kind of thoughts and these in turn reinforce the same feeling. In time, this link to thoughts and feelings becomes hard wired in our brain.  It becomes the default neural path. By the time we are 30-35 most of the situations are hard coded like this. So we do the same things with the same outcomes.
To change our situation we need to break this link. and create a new pathways in the brain, which makes our body feel differently with the same thoughts.
The situation we are in, is definitely what we have attracted, if we want to create a new situation we should feel in a new way, in our body, or we will convert any situation to the old way.

So manifesting will totally work, but done in the right way.
First step to my manifestation training, is training to feel gratitude and love. I am going 28 days of gratitude. then I will move to loving kindness meditation once a week ( twin hearts is also great ) That should give enough practice to elevate my feelings at will,
In the mean time also notice and pay attention to how certain things make my body feel , then once I am aware I can try to replace them.
wow!! this is really exciting, It will work, first visualisation is to visualise that this works! Its recursive as shit and amazing!!! 

Konmari our life?

What would happen if we Marie Kondo our life?
Marie Kondo is this lady who is kind of revolutionising cleaning up our homes and decluttering.  She, based on Japanese Shinto ideology advocates keeping at home only those things that you love and cherish and let go all the other things which u have but dont need/use etc. You hold on to each thing and then u ask yourself does this spark joy - If yes you keep it , if not u let it go.
So If you continued with this ideology and did the same to your life ...  your relationships ! your job! your tasks!! What would be left?

( I know, I know, this kind of ruthless thinking is why people are shocked and run away when I open my mouth and this is why this blog is secret ;-) ) 

About doubting brain

2013/2014 may be - thats when I tried Lumosity ( some brain games website )  to improve my brain, I am such a self development junkie. Now I can say it probably just taught new tricks, it didn't improve my brain as such.
Haha! Look what google found,  they were fraud. So my cynical instincts below seem to be right after all :)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-35241778

    *  *  *
We have a cynical part in us and we need to accept it,
we also need to keep it in touch with it before it makes us too gullible.
When I do Lumosity, this part keeps asking me, is this actually developing ur brain or are u just learning new tricks? what u learn here? is it actually carried on to life or not?

First of all, I get irritated with this doubtful voice. I feel it is keeping me behind in so many aspects of my life I want to kick it :)
Its like annoying horrible person who keeps on doubting everything.

I trust life, it brings me things which I need at the right time. It may not be apparent at that point of time but later on it becomes apparent.
and when I have decided on something I hate to give explanations and this voice is forcing me to, I want to kick it even more.
Yes, its upto me to bring it into my life or not, u can just learn to play better games and not improve
but everything has an effect on other parts of life, everything u do with ur brain.
Like S and M had kannada first language in high school and that makes a huge difference to how they understand Bendre's songs, for me its foreign language even tho I know spoken kannada so well. I don't think people realise how things richen their lives when they do it. Like learning calligraphy helped Steve Jobs make sexy computer :)
So playing games does affect me, and how much depends on me too.
I m trying to use the different modes of consciousness for solving the problems, sometimes I am able to do things better than other times.. I just think I m focusing better. I m not sure it is left right brain etc.. need to learn more to recognise and get into the proper state for proper task.
Being cynical does not have any benefits, being inquisitive has.

The main thing is trust in ourselves. I trust myself to know that this is good for me and I do it. I don't care about statistics.

10 years

10 years of blogging! That milestone passed quietly :o) unnoticed for few months..
10 long years... Wow! It is a bit disconcerting ... lot disconcerting actually! That first blog I wrote was well over a decade ago... 800 posts since then, close to 600 published... wow! the passage of time! I am not prepared for this. I dont know if I have gone ahead in this 10 years or gone in circles..
probably a mix of both...spiral may be ? :-)  

Are nice people boring? ( Pseudo science)

Yes!
Unfortunately this is true. Our brains find nice people boring.
Its not that nice people Are boring, but our brains have evolved such that it finds nice people boring.
How? do u ask?
It is the side effect of our brain having evolved to make us not happy!
Yes! Our brains have evolved to keep us alive and reproducing. Our brains have evolved to keep us looking out for happiness, to keep chasing happiness but never finding it!
This is how we survive!
Brain does it by using carrot and stick. So you motivate the donkey(us) to move forward by showing it a carrot just out of reach. You move carrot forward, donkey movies forward.  Once u give the carrot what happens? The donkey is content and happy and ...stops! It wont move forward.
Exactly like that, If we found happiness, we would be content and we would stop. We would not  reproduce, evolve etc.  So we need to be kept seeking happiness, but not find it ( for long)
Our brains are designed such that, once u eat the carrot, u are happy but it digests - you are hungry and again looking for another carrot.
1) The satisfaction of any carrot ( i.e good things that happens to us ) has a timeout .
2) The timeout keeps reducing as you repeat the good thing.
For example first carrot made u happy for 2 days
second one 1 day
third half and so on.
So satisfaction is not only temporary it also has diminishing returns.
To get the same satisfaction as the first time, you have to eat more carrots each time.

 Then how is it possible to be happy at all? That is where the stick comes in.
Stick resets the counter for carrots! It resets the diminishing returns counter and stick also lowers the bar.
Stick or negative emotions also have the same rules as positive
1) First stick is the strongest, baddest. but its effect also fades
2) If you keep getting beaten, it wont feel so bad the next time and after some time u wont even notice it.

Nature/Evolution has figured that u cannot keep motivating a person by stick or carrot, so alternate between stick and carrot. This naturally happens when an animal lives n the world.  With just carrot or Just stick,  the animal would soon reach a level where it would become numb, not care for any outcome.  So we need both to keep the animal surviving, running from stick and chasing the carrot.
( Is it not possible to motivate an animal with only carrot? with the effect of carrot fading but without diminishing returns?  Probably sub optimal.  If same activity gave them same rewards, they would keep doing the same thing, survival requires diverse activities . So to motivate the animal to try different activities, diminishing returns is required?)

Unfortunately this is not good news for our nice person.
Nice guy( lets admit it!nice guys finish laster than nice girls ) is like carrot and only carrot, It is amazing for girl in reality. but our stupid brains are not smart enough to recognise this.
A bad guy Also is not good.
Unpredictable one however is like cocaine.  Actually this is also one of the techniques in The game. If you want someone to fall for you, treat them unpredictably, adore them and then ignore. They will be draw to u like moth to fire. Is the above the reason for that?  Similar to gambling addiction, the unpredictable nature of rewards keeps one hooked to even sub standard rewards.
https://www.highspeedtraining.co.uk/hub/why-is-gambling-addictive/

I think I have written it before, also another reason for women ( especially women) nice guys may not have been the best choice genuinely  because in nature, among humans the aggressive guys survived more than the nice ones? so again as u want to live and reproduce rather than be happy, women had to choose ass holes?

In peaceful environments probably nice guys become more attractive, also nice persons become attractive to people who have been abused or in really bad relationships, As the nice ness keeps rewarding as their reward centers are already in the negative?

Being strong and Independent

Being strong and independent 

You follow ur own path, you make ur own path

Being Strong and independent 

You are unfazed by situations, you carry on like nothing happened

Being Strong and independent

You go if others walk by you or not

Being Strong and independent

You are magnificent and awesome, a force of nature

Being strong and independent

You also carry the scrapes scars and the unhealed wounds

Being strong and independent 

You stop and notice your back is sore with huge burden

Being strong and independent 

You are all alone :-) Its ok, but there is some pain

Being strong and independent 

You can do it all yourself but You dont have to

Being strong and independent

You can ask for help

Being strong and independent

You can let down the guard and put down the weapons 

Being strong and independent

You can be strong enough to be weak and vulnerable

Being strong and independent

You can rest among friends

Being strong and independent 

You can be free, you can be at peace, you can just be

Being strong and independent

To being strong and independent and seeing all aspects of it

Cheers!

I wrote about how the boys who were stuck in the cave in Thailand were treated differently from Grenfel Tower victims. How eastern and older culture think u become strong by facing adversity but the liberal western culture sees you as being fragile and in need of care after adversity.
I wonder if the strong kids still carry wounds, like me. I have been strong in the past when I look back I see I should have let my guard down and healed after the situation had passed,  It is healthier to accept it was hard, that it hurt you. Its ok. :-) Being strong is great and awesome, after the storm has passed its also ok to say it was tough. The boys in the cave can say it was hard, they were shit scared, and they still get nightmares.. its still ok, they are still the strong boys who made it out of the cave. 

ascents and subtitles

Related to this http://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2011/11/subtitles.html

I love subtitles right, I love subtitles written by native speakers not very familiar with English, with wrong English, but its not wrong at all. The wrongness is the beauty of it, Its conveying the right translation. It is telling us the subtle context, the subtle difference, the thing which is untranslatable in  the native language, that wrong is so beautiful :-)  A perfect translation will never get this, A non native translator perfect in english may never get this. 

This is the beauty of ascents as well. I love ascents, not variants in a country but ascents of foreigners, It has the beauty of two languages. Also again love the wrong speaking of language, the mistakes in phrases. It shows the difference in thinking brought about by difference in the native languages. 

Celebrate the difference. 

This is when you realise living in India with 100s of languages,ascents and cultures opens your mind. The people who correct pronunciation or ridicule ascents, They are small people, Koopa mandukas who have lived in the same well all their lives and probably know only that one language. 

art

Art is what comes out of feeling and emotions, Thats is part of them, they give birth to it. When u experience it you feel what they felt.  This is what I felt when watching gully boy or listening to Milck. So the drawings that I do and painting , that is skill, I m naturally skilled and I m improving my skills, getting better. but its not art. because it doesnot represent a part of me, It is not an expression of myself. 

What is my art?  This blog! This is my child, child made of my thoughts emotions feelings, It is what is part of me. This is the realisation that struck me. Strange as I dont see myself as a writer at all. 

Perhaps, The art in my blog is not the writing but the thinking.. 

Where is Richard Bach

Used to be a rage once upon a long time ago. I lapped him up like crazy. He seems to be completely out of circulation these days.
I loved his books, Jonathan Livingstone Sea Gull, The One, Bridge across for ever. The One made me feel sooo peaceful and that peace lasted for months, I was like a rock on the middle of river, unshakable.
The bridge across was all about out of body experiences. He wrote it all as real, I read it all as fiction, I loved it :-)
But now I know its all real ! :-) I like it but it does not blow my mind like that. It was also about past lives and soul mates and such, past lives I like soul mates.. meh! considering he divorced the woman :D he too .. meh! :D :P
The one was about Multiple dimensions. That was really something.. I loved how it all related to a pilot and his small bi-plane.. .
Nice nostalgia thinking about him. Richard Bach you were good, trends and memes they too pass, fortunately, unfortunately.
I miss you Richard Bach!

everyone is better than me?

This is real. I am panicking. Everyone seems to be better than me.
When I start comparing my attributes, I am finding others who are better than me. Not just better but mind blowingly wonderful.
 In the age of internet it is easy to find someone better than me at everything I do.
But wait a minute and think, they are all not one person. Someone is better than me at programming, some one else is better than me at home decor, someone else is better than me at philosophy , someone else is better at something else, but they are all different people. Its not like each of them is better than me at everything. Right?

small fights

Inspirational Whatsapp forward :-) I liked it tho. Something to remember and follow .. may be...

I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters.
I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me...
I stopped fighting with my in laws...
I stopped fighting for attention...
I stopped fighting to meet public expectation of me...
I stopped fighting for my rights with stupid people..
I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight...
And I started fighting for my vision, my dreams, my ideas and my destiny. The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful.

I know once I make this true, I will be successful too .

Resonates with me so much today... the feeling of not being understood, being alone, being judged, gossip :-) Also resonates  is this

Don't let anyone turn your unique into flaws
Yeah, you know that I love you the way that you are

from MILCKs song Black Sheep.

I didn't know until recently, I felt this way. I did feel angry sad etc... but

It runs deep, it's insatiable
That hunger to be seen and to be understood

Is this true for me? Do I seek to be understood, to be accepted too? 

Feel like its a constant fight to not let my unique to be turned into flaws by small people, people who fit into holes, people who tow the line...people accept gay / lesbian / autistic / dyslexic to an extent,  everything that has a label is easier to accept that a different that has no label. 

Am I seeking a label? I am but not finding it. every label is a compromise. again a peg for a hole whose shape is not you.... 

Why this feeling today? 

Sometimes I wonder if I should, should I just give people what they are looking for? say things they want to hear they like to hear?  It is smart/tactical/diplomatic ? 

That does not ring true to character and I cannot do it, Id rather be disliked for me than not show what I am. why?

I also judge people who are like that.

Anyway one thing is on my side and it gives me solace... the path of spirituality asserts what I am as true. No bondages, no stereotypes, no towing the line, Meera bai, Kanaka Dasa, What is gender, what is your role? :-) Other people are in their own lane and own state of development, leave them alone says Anthony DeMello.

Spirituality and worldliness have always been logger heads with each other for eternity in the society, u have to have ur foot and one boat! and Deeps and u do have, u know which one it is. 

Then Why this feeling today?

May be this too shall pass.

phrases I liked

Fear of Suffering
inner spritual life of nature - faeries :)
spirit that permeates the land itself
they exist or u pervieve this sprituality by anthroprophing it
curiosity driven learning
Star of your own story

Was the dinosaur extinction a moral tragedy as well?

We  see reptilian men people in fiction, usually villains, emotion less, cold blooded, calculating cut throat evil and Ugly to boot 😊

Human imagination seems to think that If intelligent life( i.e humans :P )  evolved out of reptiles instead of mammals, that  would be low life, much worse than us. Obviously we would think like that, self serving bias and all, but what does evidence suggest????

Which animals in the world right now are naturally moral?

Monogamy

Equal rights between male and female

Both partners take care of young

Big groups with no conflict - able to get along beautifully in close quarters in huge numbers

Big groups co-ordinate with out any apparent leader hierarchy and not even kin.

Who? Birds.

There are huger groups with matriarchal structures in insects, but those seem to be more automated. Also too far removed from us to actually understand correctly. There are scifi books about insectoid intelligent life with hive mind as well - Enders game. ... too out there for me to consider. so sticking to Dino vs Mammals.

So Birds are actually Dinos right? And Dinosaurs are actually reptiles right? When we studied evolution in school in 80s, We didn't know that birds were descended from dinosaurs and now that we know that .. wouldn't bird people be more beautiful, more egalitarian, warm blooded and much nicer people than us??  even tho they would probably have only 2 fingers like T rex :D ;-)

Did dinosaur extinction wipe off that nice possibility and we evolved from very hierarchical, male exploitative/competitive ( cant say male dominant, It seems to be huge number of females to small number of males. ) territorial, aggressive mammals?

Thoughts from Osterly park lake after I saw huge number of Australian geese fly off in beautiful formation .... Of course its not based on any science or study, its based on my subjective observation. Its pseudo science :D

Ps: Also Bird are kinda sexist but pro female way, look at the beauty requirements of male vs female Himalayan Monal :D

By AJIT HOTA - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=57993244

By Dibyendu Ash - This species Himalayan Monal (an adult female ♀) had been photographed at Tungnath, Rudraprayag, Uttarakhand, India on 14th June 2013 during the bird photography tour of GoingWild.Previously published: Yes, this file has been published in some other social networking sites, ornithology portals and biodiversity portals; I am yet to share this file with other portals and sites and it may be available in print media if required for future use., CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=34855825

Poor - taboo?

We all have different dictionaries, they all contain the same words but slightly different meanings.
 Ocean Waves a beautiful movie by Studio Ghibli, has a scene, the 1960 version of the heroine, goes out of the house without shoes and her father hits her. the one and only time he hit her.
Whats so bad about going with out shoes? Is it Japanese cultural thing? Is it perceived as being naked - bare foot considered as sexy? Kinky Japanese  :-)  I looked up.
Apparently, Poor didn't have shoes and Rich did. So if you went out without shoes its like being poor.
Isn't that shocking? I mean looking poor being considered so demeaning.
I did have an insight about how whatever is considered beautiful actually is just a showcase of being rich, but this is more shocking in a way - being Poor is a Taboo!?
Shouldn't actually be shocking, I have been thinking about this for some days
Swear words like Bewarsi in Kannada - actually just means Orphan. Biknasi literally means pennyless.
Not showing that you are poor is a value in many cultures.
Isn't it really sad, instead of pitying someone situation we actually consider that a taboo a shameful condition. Cultures are ashamed of being poor and we actually look down upon poor people?

My granddad  was poor ! ha ha! See I say this I am extremely proud of the fact how my Uncles and Dad came up in life in-spite of my grandfathers situation.  So tho I mostly dont talk about myself I do say this out many times
How does it sound to other people??? I have never given this thing a thought!  How does it sound to my parents? Do they feel ashamed? Obviously not, I think they are the ones that instilled that pride in our background.
This nagging feeling that everyone does not see this as shining example of positive came to me when someone commented - Oh but you were poor! like in some kind of slur! It didn't register then but its been at the back of my mind.
In Titanic Rose refuses to call Jack Poor. she does not say it. That I couldnt comprehend at that time!
Are other people judging me? Lot of people talk about their ancestors wealth, I am the only one who seems to talk about poor ancestors  !LOL Not true, actually I have some friends who do talk about how difficult it was for their parents and I did appreciate it - had respect for them!
but isnt it so sad, I think its changing, I think now people dont look down, except may be some snooty upper class families and such? no?

My parents are the opposite who look down upon wealthy :))) 

Osho

Is horrible. At least what he says just doesnot gel with me. What Buddha said... Introduction to Buddha was quite accurate, He is a scientist etc. Except it was told in 10 times more words than necessary. Ok.

When talking about Buddha, He talks about how a child are most comfortable in mothers womb and how he(HE)  is not free from the womb untill he find a wife. How mother can never forgive a wife bla bla bla such shit. This is Ekta kapoor serial level shit, What about daughters? I dont see any mother holding a grudge against a son in law? He talks of this shit as if it is absolute truth
If Buddha is a scientist, Osho is a rubbish B grade story teller :-)  Just so full of bull shit.  This is just one example, I tried to listen to one hour talk, It didnt have even one minute of What Buddha said, It has full hour of shit about celibacy, this kind of jealousy crap and , bramhins(?) and all sorts of rubbish. How to people tolerate him??!
This is my second and last attempt, I had to take second chance because some people I really respect seem to feel he is good. He just seems like a crap charlatan on drugs to me. So angry :-) 

unconscious racist

When we were youngsters, Having a boy friend/girl friend was considered a bad thing. There were lot of rumors/talks about She( yeah always She) has a boy friend, used derogatorily to tarnish someones' image. I was filled with strong self righteous values about not gossiping, Lol! yeah I didn't have any friends! so?  :-P So I refused to accept any such rumor, No they are just friends they are not going out together. I don't accept your silly gossip and rumors.
The question is, Am I better person than them?
Definitely, for not gossiping and for not wanting to talk "bad" about others, yes!
but No in another way. There is a subtle aspect to this. Look at the "bad" part of it. I deny that she is dating - she is not dating so she is good, if she was indeed dating she is bad.  I am still stuck in their same belief system, that dating is bad like the other gossiping losers.
The completely better person would have the argued, She may be or may be not dating, - so what?

I find the same happening with identity politics. Serena Williams caricature, She being black and a woman, most people are finding it really racist and sexist. I didn't find it either.
However  I cringe and I cringe and I cringe when people, even black people are calling that portrayal, sub human beastly and all that. Caricature exaggerates certain characteristics of the person. So if someone exaggerates black specific characteristics like full lips or curly hair  and to you it started looking sub human?  Who is racist here??
Tho There is history to it, I understand.

World is clever and changing

When I ( we also - the media and such )  look at trends, dangerous/annoying/stupid trends, We assume that this trend will go on for ever, we draw conclusions about what will happen if this trend continues indefinitely. And these conclusion turn out to be dire.  The graph of such trends tends to end with end of the world ;-) SCARY!!!! We make noise on the social media, media makes noise bla bla. I am not saying we should not do this... but I have started noticing that..
Even tho we assume that the  world is stupid, world is in fact clever and sentient and it learns it adapts
so trends don't continue on to their(our!?) destruction, but they stop.
(may be this can be attributed to all that shouting we did in the above paragraph. so it may be necessary to draw dire conclusions and shout anyway)

Last few years I notice the world adapting and giving up trending and learning.
First its a small group of outcasts making a noise and pointing out that something is not right, there is lot of ignoring, then opposition then with in a year or two, it actually becomes fashionable and mainstream! ,
the dire consequences predicted by the small group never come about because people learnt and people changed! Phew! Thank god!!
Few examples - are gender based kids toys - market segmentation tactics
use of social media - people have become smarter, I dont see the same type of posts any more
gender equality
Most pleasing is the plastic usage

I wrote a blog about my aunts niece doing computer science to get married, that is also an example.

Hinduism gyan

There are two aspects of Hinduism.
Just like there are apple users and apple developers , there are Hindu users and Hindu developers
The day to day people who follow rules and worship in temples - users. Just follow the rules.
Yoga and Tantra - the science which tells how to control the mind and how to design the religion which the other people are using - Tantra - the developers/architects and designers. Understand.
This is why there seems to be such a big gulf in the two aspects, Yoga is the programmer and day to day Hinduism is user.

attraction to assholes and submissiveness

The Top Two in my hate list :)
When other women behave like this, I just blow my top. I cant believe how some(lot of ?X-( ) women find assholeness totally sexy. Aggressive, brash, insulting, patronising - this is the popular kind of hero in movies,novels, series and women just seem to lap it up. Fifty shades of Puke anyone! Its not just in fiction, even in real life, lot of girls seem to think this is ideal. Why else would they lap up that crap ( hehe! I admitted my hate okay! :-P )
Ever wonder why? It comes down to evolution and survival again ( Ok, I am skipping all the "I thinks" and peddling my pseudo science confidently! people! I am watching Brooklyn 99 and I am inspired by Gina!) 
What kind of person is the Top guy in any company, the Alpha? The top dog? - Ass hole. The aggressive seems to be a successful personality type, especially in the old cave man person days, Violent aggressive abusive man who beat up people had a higher odds of survival and making a living than a Mr nice guy, right? When a man is violent and bad to a woman, she decided that he is even worse to others so has higher survival rate? Is that why all those stupid women are attracted to jerks and assholes?
This is why it becomes so important to be self reliant and earning woman, would change their whole outlook and psyche and make them go for the nice guy! Yeah this may not be cutting edge science but you know this effort goes towards trying to understand people and all that.
Submissiveness - I watched this movie about makers of Wonder Woman. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women. It is about the really unconventional and controversial life of the writer of wonder woman and the women in his life. Professor Martson, his wife and girl friend are clearly all feminists and very strong and intelligent people, leading a very controversial life in that day and age. They were obviously very courageous as well. Well, inspite of all that, What struck me in this movie was how one of the women, the girl friend, the wonder woman liked to be submissive. When the wife is as outraged as I was about How she or anyone could like being humiliated, the organiser says This is what she is - a submissive. Okay, I do not understand the BDSM concept at all. But it made me think. Is it possible that some people are wired to be submissive ( in normal day to day life non kinky way) and it is not an indication of subpar intelligence or lack of courage or confidence( am I pushing it with confidence?) Just like expecting gay people to be straight is wrong, Is it wrong to expected these people to be non submissive? Should I rethink the number two on my hate list as well? 
Not yet taking these off my hate list, but trying to keep an open mind.

normal distribution 2

It is very satisfying when the theories I thought about are kind of confirmed by science(? haha not sure that happened, anyway it was mentioned in Sam Harris podcast, and if you want citation and all that nonsense you know what u can do to yourself :D :-P ) The normal distribution ( for any characteristic ) difference between men and women, How I think women fall more into the average , where as men are spread out across the spectrum, I also think the average for men is usually lower than women. You can read all about it here. Basically how someone else put it is - mens distribution have fatter tails.
Interestingly I didn't read into the implications of this as much as they have, they used it to justify why there are less women top scientists. For example - discounting the gender stereotyping, prejudice and everything else, this can also be explained to an extent by the normal distribution. There are less nobel prize winning women because, even tho there may be more brilliant women, than men in this world, there are more brightest men than brightest women. There are more men in 99.9th percentile? and These win the Nobels? Don't know if this is proven, but it seems a logical hypothesis which can be pondered about.
Also now that I think about this, does this also explain why 98% of prisoners i.e criminals are men? We know that ( at least my theory is that ) mens distribution has a fatter tail at the bottom end than the top end, and also we know that prisons are keeping the worst of the worst - the worst percentile of people? bingo more men :-)  I know there are other explanations like testosterone and increased aggression in general in men etc. however this is a good fit for the fat tail phenomenon :-) What else can be explained by this?