Yes!
Unfortunately this is true. Our brains find nice people boring.
Its not that nice people Are boring, but our brains have evolved such that it finds nice people boring.
How? do u ask?
It is the side effect of our brain having evolved to make us not happy!
Yes! Our brains have evolved to keep us alive and reproducing. Our brains have evolved to keep us looking out for happiness, to keep chasing happiness but never finding it!
This is how we survive!
Brain does it by using carrot and stick. So you motivate the donkey(us) to move forward by showing it a carrot just out of reach. You move carrot forward, donkey movies forward. Once u give the carrot what happens? The donkey is content and happy and ...stops! It wont move forward.
Exactly like that, If we found happiness, we would be content and we would stop. We would not reproduce, evolve etc. So we need to be kept seeking happiness, but not find it ( for long)
Our brains are designed such that, once u eat the carrot, u are happy but it digests - you are hungry and again looking for another carrot.
1) The satisfaction of any carrot ( i.e good things that happens to us ) has a timeout .
2) The timeout keeps reducing as you repeat the good thing.
For example first carrot made u happy for 2 days
second one 1 day
third half and so on.
So satisfaction is not only temporary it also has diminishing returns.
To get the same satisfaction as the first time, you have to eat more carrots each time.
Then how is it possible to be happy at all? That is where the stick comes in.
Stick resets the counter for carrots! It resets the diminishing returns counter and stick also lowers the bar.
Stick or negative emotions also have the same rules as positive
1) First stick is the strongest, baddest. but its effect also fades
2) If you keep getting beaten, it wont feel so bad the next time and after some time u wont even notice it.
Nature/Evolution has figured that u cannot keep motivating a person by stick or carrot, so alternate between stick and carrot. This naturally happens when an animal lives n the world. With just carrot or Just stick, the animal would soon reach a level where it would become numb, not care for any outcome. So we need both to keep the animal surviving, running from stick and chasing the carrot.
( Is it not possible to motivate an animal with only carrot? with the effect of carrot fading but without diminishing returns? Probably sub optimal. If same activity gave them same rewards, they would keep doing the same thing, survival requires diverse activities . So to motivate the animal to try different activities, diminishing returns is required?)
Unfortunately this is not good news for our nice person.
Nice guy( lets admit it!nice guys finish laster than nice girls ) is like carrot and only carrot, It is amazing for girl in reality. but our stupid brains are not smart enough to recognise this.
A bad guy Also is not good.
Unpredictable one however is like cocaine. Actually this is also one of the techniques in The game. If you want someone to fall for you, treat them unpredictably, adore them and then ignore. They will be draw to u like moth to fire. Is the above the reason for that? Similar to gambling addiction, the unpredictable nature of rewards keeps one hooked to even sub standard rewards.
https://www.highspeedtraining.co.uk/hub/why-is-gambling-addictive/
I think I have written it before, also another reason for women ( especially women) nice guys may not have been the best choice genuinely because in nature, among humans the aggressive guys survived more than the nice ones? so again as u want to live and reproduce rather than be happy, women had to choose ass holes?
In peaceful environments probably nice guys become more attractive, also nice persons become attractive to people who have been abused or in really bad relationships, As the nice ness keeps rewarding as their reward centers are already in the negative?
