This is one of those days , I am troubled.
There is a sudden anxiety what if what ever we believe is wrong? at the end of life :D ull face questions bla bla. haha just writing it makes me realise how silly it is. so what at the end of the life u realise this or that or whatever, life will end anyway. and thats it.
This is again the fault of our society which enforces the belief that life has to be meaningful , that u have to achieve something that u have to leave behind something ur genes most preferably! Ha! you know what? it doesnot matter - cause U u will never ever know!!!!! Newton is remembered 500 years since his death and his brother probably forgotten, doesnot matter. and Ghangis khan probaly left behind loads of his genes.. does it matter to him?
Boss , do what u can when u are alive, dont bother about what u really leave behind. cause u know? u wont last after u are gone anyway. :P
Ok after this rant, comin to what I believe, I have this funda or a thing going on these days spritual thing. be in the moment, accept pain and happyness and everything else. once u accept it doesnot feel so bad( the pain that is and the happyness :p)
and all the life beyond the grave thing, I mean its not the fact that ill live beyond my death that interests me, but that there may be other dimensions to us right now when we live. I like that concept. and that our logical mind - that it can only see and analyse just a minute fraction of life. there is much more to life and to see that u have to shut this logical mind - sometimes called Ego. up!!
When Ego shuts up, the intution lights up and u realise and see things which u ignored with static all this while. U'll see ur emotions and ur sub conscious . and the philosophy goes beyond this to say that, u will get past that also, u will observe the other dimensions to your self the other worlds... but ultimately u'll just realise that there is no u and i and that its all one... then there will be peace or enlightenment or what ever.
hmmm that is way past me, when I frankly think about it, I am looking for the excitement of seeing new dimensions the experimetning , the anticipation of discovery. along with this I am also looking for stability of emotions and fullfillment.
Two threads running in parallel. be in the moment and notice ur emotions thread, this I use tomake myself more stable and happy. you know what? it works, Louise hay works, When ur mind starts clearing up u start doing thigns differently which makes ur life better not only in the spritual way but in the materialistic way as well.
on the other hand there is this occult thread, experimenting and discovery and study thread - if u look at this thread from the being in the moment perspective u find that this is a pursuit of the ego ... Ill just let this thought be aside.
These two threads, they both converge - I find this difficult to see. But they ultimately lead to the same goal enlightenment. u go beyond ur mind into the sub conscious and super conscious and then u ll be enlightened, but the two approaches.. they are so contradictory. Occult work is goal oriented, its like getting a degree ... trying to achieve etc..how do u get close to enlightenment with this.
I realy dont see how they converge.
Ok my trouble at times comes from the fact that when I follow occult and the being in the moment spritual thing, My interest in the materialistic life is decreasing, I want to study occult or meditate or garden and I am very happy doing these things and i am peaceful, but my job is suffering, sometimes these thougths come into my head that u learn more by being in the world by meeting more people- not by studying. Is it true?
I dont think so, I think u learn about the material world more when u meet people u learn to be cunning( no I dont mean it in a bad way, just mean u will learn the ways of the world ) and how to deal with people , how to make money the strategies and the games. will this help me be more happy ? the other life is making me really happy.
My worry at times is, what if the other life is not true what if the other life doesnot make the material life happy. what if I regret the missing out on the material life. What if I feel bad that my jr are promoted ahead of me? should I start runnin on the threadmill just cause of this what if or should I follow my heart?
The answer is clear, follow ur heart, u will learn to differentiate ur feelings from others judgements. u will see that u cannt live to be judged by others... u can but that wont give u the sense of happiness - atleast not me. but I am not yet able to completely push off the effect of others judgment on me.
May be end of life - u should be more worried about how others judge ur life than what u will. and how u will feel about others judgements. ;-) but then again it wont last long :P as ur life will end and give u a relief soon anyway....
hmmm hmmmm
No comments:
Post a Comment