vegetarian?

( This is past BTW, my body has recovered from the temporary meat phobia, atleast for chicken for sure.)

I think 3 weeks of salad diet has brought this about! err....should I (Groan!!!) be predominantly vegetarian for a while.? Oh! Groan!  but yeah... I m thinking about this..

I used to be so proud of my USP - Ill eat anything... I think god/? whoever doesnot like me being proud of anything? Meat causing nausea.. Time delay nausea...It tastes great and everything but after an hour I feel like it will all come out :-( Is it my subconscious which thinks meditation and meat dont go together?.. what ever it is... It is hard.
 Frankly I cant be vegetarian because  its a mental block, just like I cant wear saree or wear gold or accept traditional functions and stuff like that.... in all these cases, some strong emotional reactions kick in...
Just the word vegetarian hitting so many stupid mental blocks...just want to rebel and go eat a sausage but I know what will happen..

vegetarian = thousands of years of oppression of thousand of classes of people of India by the upper castes
vegetarian = exclusivity, ( I hate exclusive clubs)
vegetarian =  false animal love ( why cant it be true animal love? :-) It can be, but I think like to think its false :D)
vegetarian = Stupid pride and  sense of superiority for being the class who oppressed ...
vegetarian = discrimination
vegetarian = hurting peoples sentiments
vegetarian = nuisense( especially abroad)
vegetarian = Sissy( my school girls), annoying( everyone :D )
vegetarian = illogical and impractical.. (dont cook meat in this vessel etc)
vegetarian = separatism
vegetarian = Modi, right wing, saffron, Gujarath( killed muslims), Rajasthan(regressive),( Haryana is non- veg and regressive :D but mental blocks are not reasonable! duh!)
vegetarian = Silly veggie girls not treating injured animals and birds because they thought blood is filthy(in school).
Grrr, I should stop associative hatered like this...

but frankly you do love animals then how can you eat them? I can.
are you eating meat just to be a rebel because of all the reasons above? no..
are you sure? no...
Is it just taste? but its making me sick..
most people dont eat animals because they think they are too filthy to be eaten so I love animals and they are tasty? :P

ok fine but Have you thought of the complete life cycle of the meat that is in front of you?.. may be not...

may be you should..

and then torture myself? 

but you should face reality. 

but its part of life. 

but avoidable?

but I still dont want to be veg,I like to try new things to eat, even meat. I guess I take a lot of pride in eating anything and everything?and  I dont like being fussy...
all that is ok but what about cruelty?
Its better to kill to eat than to make purses and shoes..?
ok dont buy leather shoes and purses also. all that is ok but is it ok to kill to eat?

Actually, to eat is the only thing for which killing is ok ...I did feel very bad about saving a bird from my cat remember? Our evolution is based on food chain and killing to eat..its the most noble death, 

how would I rather die? wouldnt it be best if I was eaten? wouldnt that be the most useful death rather than death by disease( again being eaten by microbes) or coming under a car? Eaten by lions :) LOL!
hmm those are just clever words or are they real sentiments?
if they are real sentiments, Can you go thru full meat cycle from killing a live animal to cooking and to then eating? no I couldnt... unless I was on some death island.. may be then I would...
may be you should? that would turn me veg or get rid of this dilemma or pretence.
for someone who has so much hatred for meat haters,why dont you ever wash uncooked meat and cut it? or even cook it?
I have cut and cooked fish... ok I give that to you...

Nope! dont feel it. what ever the reason... u know what? u cant really argue about this with logic, it has to come from the heart, the day I feel it from the heart I will be veg.
Predominantly veg is ok, but looks like vegetarian is not something I am ready to accept at this point of time.

Edit: I was having this imaginary conversation in my head how Ill explain to people if I went veg and I was saying  I am vegetarian but for health reasons and not for animal kindness reasons!!!!! ??what deeps? why ?I think its not ok to be veggie for kindness reasons? think its a bit self righteous or what? why is it any more self righteous than oh all my pets are from SPCA? :P Or Oh Ive never been drunk in my life.. or .. thousand other "virtues" "I" m proud of?!
but this one makes ME look bad eh? ;-).
 I like myself when I am unreasonable :P Its cute :P