model of the world in our head( for myself)

First of all, I dont like the new google UI being imposed in blogger! I hate it! its sooooooooooooo plain! :( Nice for a search page and all but not for my blog! Grrrrr
Ok with that and the stinking feedback to google, out of the way.
Now I can think about what is this universe and all that :P
If u think about it, universe  is also, like everything else in our life, a model inside our head.
I mean, what is reality?Reality is What I am actually perceiving "just now". The present moment.
What do we mean by present moment?
The eye only sees the image for 1/10th of the second. There must be some similar minimum duration for the ear, and for our over all perception of time ( I mean 2 points of time which we perceive as 2 separate points of time!  How long is this present moment? apparently 3 sec!!! Check it out! http://resources.metapress.com/pdf-preview.axd?code=864j03x6w6q01101&size=largest. ) This is THE MOMENT, the NOW.
Everything else that we have experienced so far is just memory. Memory isn't just data. I mean it has things like - I did this. I did that. this happened to me so on. It also has procedures or how to do this and how to that memory, how to cycle, swim, talk, walk, do Maths etc etc...but more interestingly, Along with all this, our brain also creates a model of the universe for us. I mean, it makes sense of the things it sees, it experiences and builds up a set of concepts( and more..). This is an universe model or a world view. This is very subtle and kinda elusive, We take it for granted that there is a world out there and we know it. But our brain has done a huge amount of work in translating what is out there - which is just data,a collection of present moments.. into a set of concepts - which is what we are feeling the world is like at this moment.  ( What we are seeing is not code but UML diagram? :P) Most of this model  was probably built as part of evolution and is hardcoded in us. even a fish or amoeba has a world view. May be a pigeon's world view has the magnetic lines marked proper roads? whatever.  but as humans, huge part of this world is modeled in our life time by our experiences.
An example, When u are a baby u are like koopa mankuda, u probably think world is just as big as the room, then u are taken outside, u get the concept of space.. and that there can be more space than what is visible. This concept is added to its internal world model -"There is more space than what I can presently see."

One very important input for this  model is knowledge or what we read and understand and what we believe. Once we believe something, that part of the universe will be constructed in our head.

Then when that kid reads about solar system and galaxies and multiverses... it probably get the concept of infinite space into its world view. It gets the concept that things can be really really really big.  This kind of concept was probably not part of early humans at all?
( Its not just about concepts, is it? When we read something we understand the concept and ...change how we think the world is and....???change some constructs in our head... what is this constructs?? there is more to this but that eludes me?!!)


I am guessing this world view, like the rest of the brain has two part, subconscious and conscious part. Consider Gravity- when a baby learns to walk it learns 2 things about gravity - how to use muscles, how much pressure to counter gravity, this will all go into subconscious part of world view. "I will fall" information goes into the conscious part of the world view. When we go to moon, this part of our subconscious world view's gravity concept is screwed :)
Its is very scary to imagine that everything we have, our whole past-i.e our whole life, the whole world, are just constructs in our head, If something goes wrong in the brain, things can screw up like crazy.
And the social aspect of the world view...Society, parents, TV,everybody has cluttered our world view with so many rules which may or may not be relevant,real at all... they may nor may not be helping us.... dont talk to strangers, Be home before dark, drinking is bad, boys shouldnt cry, Only a couple is happy not a single person,Dark is not beautiful... It takes a while to sometimes realise that these are concepts in the head and not really reality.

Each experience of mine is creating my world for me, More different types of experiences- richer world? :-) what we read what we see on TV all that is building my world view. So I should experience more and read more and.. live more!! :P


May be some old people into whose life TV came in quite late, may refuse to see TV as a source for the rules  for creating the world model?
but we.. we add up what we see on TV very easily into our world model. Thats why it was so easy for me to accept a gay couple in Tel aviv, I had seen Will and Grace and unconsciously that was ingrained in my world model it was not something strange.
Watching sex and the city I also think it has become part of my reality to think its ok to throw temper tantrums, flip my hair and walk off.. I seriously consider going and staying in a hotel after a fight at home then I realise too much soap watching anta :)
Oh! When u digress from Universe to Sex and the City its time to stop writing :P

I get pissed about the kind of girls who I got to play with when I was a kid.
They seriously lacked imagination for one!! Always playing house - Mother father kitchen kid. nothing new. All my ideas about playing dinosaurs and dragons or dolphin and whale befriending the fisherwoman were dismissed without thought!! I would rather play alone!!!They were SOOOOOOO boring!!!!
hmmmm... I was thinking along these lines yesterday afternoon and a very sad realisation stuck me...
My mom and dad sat with me and told me stories, thousand of stories! My mom especially cooked up most imaginative and interesting stories ever.I had loads and loads of Russian books, story books, science books, my uncle and grandma told me stories of mythology, history.. but... These kids... their mothers probably didnt even read, their fathers didnt tell them any stories! They din have any childrens books,There was no TV those days!! :-(  This is especially true about the kids near my malleshwaram home. how cud they imagine? how cud they dream of Dragons and Dinos? :( ( but ... my parents had same kinda childhood! how did they turn out imaginative?!)
Its easy to look down on people and think of ourselves as special, but may be its just that we are just very very lucky!  

joke :P

who was the forty-second president of U.S.A?
me wondering Was someone president of USA for just forty seconds?!! :-D

The answer BTW is William Jefferson Clinton. After 40 seconds I realise Oh!Its our own Bill Monica Clinton! :)
Brain running at all time record high speeds today :)

BLINK

Reading Blink another book about the subconscious, This time sort of scientific(??! anecdotal more like) look at how subconscious mind makes better(?) judgements etc Then second part of the book goes on to explain the pit falls of instantaneous judgements!!

BLINK
Its an interesting book. It kind of reinforces what I have been thinking and feeling all this while. Gist of first few chapters is that, there is a supercomputer inside our heads and importantly its not always telling us its findings. (us = our conscious brains). We  think, we act out of free will,we make our own decisions,  but we probably dont. Its time to trust intuition etc. thin slicing he calls it, pattern recognition.
I agree.
But when he is giving examples I find myself examining myself against the terms explained
(marriage example)
I like the idea of thin slicing a lot,
BLINK is trying to tell me that sometimes like when judging people the thin slicing approach is better than the think slicing (:-) meant to write "thick slicing", but "think" makes as much sense ) . I like that but then I should be ok with judging if a person is ok to get married on not in one shot right? I find that I am not.
When the argument becomes arranged marriage v/s love marriage. arranged marriage  thin slicing isnt it? that irks me, I dont like arranged marriage. no no no :-)
I realise I dont have as much problem with the quickness of the arranged marriage as much as it is made like a business. Actually arranged marriage is not thin slicing and Intuition at all, It is totally logical left brained business decision, that is what I dont like.  I mean it doesnot "happen", its made to happen, that is what irks me. I actually believe in love at first sight! so... I m still good :-)
And then he talked about judging the person by looking at room example - my room is not neat!!! It does not say what I am :-) I found myself getting defensive! I also found myself thinking if my room does not show what I think I m then I m probably repressing something - worth a thought that one.
This book is somehow disturbing me
I agree with it, but I feel restless. I feel I need to improve this skill of mine, I feel like I am lagging or missing out or something like that.. sand in the sieve kinda feeling that.

Next part when he goes on to discuss the pit falls of subconscious thinking..
Try this out, It measures ur gender and race bias. ur unconscious biases.  http://www.understandingprejudice.org/iat/
It says, I have no gender bias :-) but slightly pro White bias.
I wonder if the tests are accurate. especially the gender one, because it uses western names to meassure association. so I m using my conscious mind to determine male/female?? pictures would have been better. I think I do have a moderate gender bias job-male home-female thing, Come on!! our mothers were housewives, I m sure I probably have very strong unconscious bias tho I dont want to.
Again, black/White is not so relevant for us, show terrorist and a bearded guy and see how the biases turn up ;-)
Even tho I agree with the idea of instant biases I didnt like the idea of me having a bias,  even tho I scored fairly evenly on the bias test. While taking it, it was obvious I m biased. yeah yeah philosophy always tells us, we are all alseep, we are governed by patterns. so true. but I m not liking it.
Other is even tho I agree that we are all affected by mental patterns it was difficult to accept that being tall or white male has so much of an advantage in life, I din like to hear it, ITS NOT FAIR! :-) but it may be true

Blink fits in perfectly with all the spiritual gyan ... how automatic gyan can be for good or bad it can be from higher processing power of brain or it can be because of pre concieved patterns. JK and Antony demello are telling us to pay attention and break these very patterns so that we wake up.
law of attraction and all those spritual courses affirmations etc are on the other hand building patterns which are benificial to us.. so that we are positively affected etc.
Blink says that effectiveness of thin slicing and subconscious decision making can be ruined by thinking too much or  by putting things into words or by trying to explain things.
esoteric study also focuses on getting past the conscious mind by avoiding all thoughts or by keeping it busy with mantras or visualisation, so that subconscious mind can get past it.
JK insists on enjoying nature without using words, he says when u see a beautiful sunset try to not put it into words try to just feel the feeling instead of saying wow so lovely! becuase  by saying lovely u limit the experience to what u already know!!

Blink is kind of a scientific reinforcement of all the spiritual things I know, but still its a hard read and hard to accept! strange.

like my life depends on it..

Was watching Nat Geo - Frozen planet, when I was down with cold. Bison herb being chased by wolves. Just 2 wolves. The bison are really big, but they keep running. Wolves try to catch the last one in the herd but that one is too big. so they let it go and chose an younger one. The herd runs on. The young bison is being torn apart by the wolves as it runs. The bison is also  feisty,  It turns around and gores one the wolves, the male runs away. The female keeps at it,(probably has pups to feed). tearing at the bison. Bison throws the wolf up in the air like a rag doll.  Now both are bloody,  both are tired, both are going to die. Both are fighting for life. If she doesnot eat, she will die anyway, so she doesnot care if she is gored half to death. For bison anyway there is no option than to fight. How desperate life is! every moment of their life, it is life or death.
I m sitting here taking off from my work, sniffing.. if I was that wolf, Id starve to death, If I was that bison, I would be torn and eaten.Sick and unwell like this, one day sick means death in the wild. but us? .. its so easy for us...Its not fair. I mean I felt for a second that we are not alive at all! how alive those animals must feel, danger threatening right around the corner every second of  life. I wanted that!! That kind of motivation to work at just being alive!
I recollect the previous day training, I m always the last in running, everyone in my class is fitter than me. so? It does not matter at all.. Its after all a class! but if there were wolves behind us? Would I say these Brits are fitter-more meat,better bones  and just stay at the back? How I would have trained then? would I ever be at the back of the class? Would I ever  lack motivation for exercising then?
To do something in my life, like my life depends on it!? how would it feel? It would feel so invigorating!!!!! no?!

deepolution ...proven??!!

Look! what they have come up !! , They speculate  just like me, theories /stories/theories.. this theory is closer to my own...
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/11/111125-neanderthals-sex-humans-dna-science-extinct/?source=link_fb20111126news-neanderthalsextinct

It not a very big leap from this theory to my theory for evolution of blue eyes and blond hair
http://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2011/04/deepolution.html

Jim and Huck talking about stars

Huck thinks they just happened but Jim insists they were made.. Huck thinks there are so many of them, It couldnt possibly be made, so Jim says, probably the moon laid them! laid?!!?  Huck thinks he's seen  frog lay many eggs like that.. so he thinks it may be possible ! :-)
LOL! and kinda yew... :-D  Mark Twain is lovely! :D 

new discoveries

Goji berries, sun flower seeds, Fish oil for joints! new additions to my Healthy(??) diet! :-) all borrowed from parkor article.
http://www.parkourgenerations.com/article/eat-and-run

back massage with a tennis ball to press acupressure points awesome relief during cold.. temporary tho, it didnt cure my cold ..
http://www.acupressure.com/articles/colds_and_flu.htm

Echinacea
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6231190.stm
another one! Oh well! I m falling sick every 2 months, so Ill try anything!
turned out pretty good, dono if it will work every time.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rooibos - this one is supposed to be good for stamina and stomach issues! cool or what! I will become a health freak If I continue like this! mommy!! :-)

Spider web

restrictions against being happy
I need my space to meditate
I need my solitude to be happy
I m not meditating because there is no proper space, no proper time, no proper environment
I m irritated becuase I m not able to meditation,
Interruption is bad for meditiaotn , it goes bad, my meditation is spoilt, my day is spoilt.
how easily ego puts up blame on others, makes something outside ourself responsible for our happiness and makes us miserable.
The main problem my dream tells me is the restriction I have put on myself that meditation is gone bad if someone interrupts in between, Its a pattern and wrong way of seeing things.
we have  thosands of unnecessary rules and restrictions by which we decide that its a gloomy day, my day is spoilt, my life is spoilt, etc etc
classic example in all spritual books, is a cloudy day- every cloudy day people go Oh no its  a sad gloomy day and when we see sun we are ye!! and happy. cloudy day is just that cloudy, it s not SAD!
our lables!! and our patterns! we r slaves to that.
I hate to be disturbed when I m eating, if someone interrupts me i will stop eating.
I hate it if someone picks food from my plate.
I have to have some hours of solitude in my life otherwise I m not happy.
Shooting game noise makes me go mad!
Mushroom smell! I cant stand it.
If I wear a sareee I will instantaneously combust and die !
who is at loss?  me!( I mean these are all not mine, some are mine, some are others)
when someone talks of crap when eating, manassu kettu hoytu , mansassu kedisiddi antivi. but we are just kicking in an age old pattern.
I cant work under deadlines, I dont perform well if someone is looking over my shoulder, I m not free, other people restrict me.. all these are restrictions I have put on myself. Like they say, nobody gets into my head and stops me. Its my patterns kick in, yes! it is unconscious, yes! undue critisism affects me unconsciously and it may seem like other prople are responsible for my saddness and happniess but the fact is, Its all in my head, it may be my own created pattern, or copied from parents or inherited as a species( flight or fight, territorial behaviour, groupism)
we are all pavlov's dogs, we actually sometimes use this in our favour. I mean not sometimes, all the time. thats what makes our life work smoothly but more like a machine.
bell = saliva
traditional = anger!
conditioning. I am alseep, like demello says wake up! and see.
Darren brown magic show, shows us how mechanical and machine like we are! u can make people do things by putting in appropriate hints - becuase we are all asleep, enlightenment is waking up!
I am responsible for not meditating, I am responsible for labeling and restricting myself to thinking I cannt meditate if i dont hve a proper place, I restrict myself to be unhappy if I dont have my space, I m responsile for finding a solution to this problem. The solution is not in making space, the solution is fixing the pattern in the head.
we always CAN. yes we CAN! 

Road to hell...

..is paved with good intentions :P but that is not what this post is about :D
Person with good intentions will think  "I want to do something, I want to do good to other people"
Then that person starts thinking "is there some kind of ego in this? Am I that good that I can do good to other people? Or I m being too egoistic?"
moto will change to " I want to do something for others because it makes me feel good, I want to do good to other people only because it can do good to me, I m not that great"  Is this being more truthful with ourself or  is this too much pride in modesty? and will this harm because we are putting ourselves down?
Jesus and Buddha didnt think all this, they just went and did what they felt like good or bad( nooo.. mostly good :D)  I think It was like going and drinking water for them. I drank water, I healed this lady, I pulled this cow out of water and almost died in the process - all approached with the same spirit. That is when we are pride less! ( How I wish I could be like that- pride-less,age- less,care-less ;-) I mean truly unconcerned about things from the bottom of my heart)
As long as we get these thoughts
"Oh I saved that cow! I am cool!"
 "oh no pride.. bad."
"I saved cow I feel good but I will forcefully make myself feel not good about it...Its not a big deal. I did it becuase it made me feel good thats all.."
I think thinking I saved that cow I m cool is better than second one?
Second one is double pride - I saved cow and I am cool and I am modest and I am cool!

story

Antoney De Mello's story

One simple man in a village gets a dream one night - God Vishnu comes in his dream and tells him, tomorrow eleven o clock a monk will pass through ur village, he has the largest diamond in the world. Ask him for it, If he gives it to you will be the richest man in the world.

Next morning, there is in fact a monk, crossing the village at eleven o clock! Man goes running to him-
Give me the diamond! give me the diamond! God told me you have it and it will make me richest man in the world!!
Monk says Oh yeah! I found it in my wanderings! Monk diggs into his sack..Take it! It is in fact the biggest diamond in the world.
Simple man takes the diamond, Is elated and jumps with Joy! but then he thinks and thinks and ponders and thinks  about it the whole day, Night he is back to the monk  returns the Diamond and says I dont want this diamond!! Give me that- give me those riches that make u capable of giving away this diamond so easily! :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUfBHoVNkok&feature=related

Apple Cider Vinegar

Good for skin! surprisingly so! Tried it for skin tags.
1 part ACV 2 parts water.. apply on face 3 times a day and my skin tags on the face are fading! It worked for others too.
Excellent toner! one silver bullet for many skin problems! its Awesome!

normal distribution

ok, this is a repeated theory which keeps running in my head so here it goes
normal distribution of quality of girls /guys  - it may be in studies, (not looks) mentality, generally being a good person etc etc
my theory is that in any given random mixed group, like a class room or a company or a city or in a profession.
the top person is usually a guy - like the brilliant guy in the class, top designer etc. in the next lot say 99 to 85 percentile there are usually slightly more guys here than the girls. between 85 to 70 I think the number of girls and guys become equal and then we start seeing the dramatic difference I think 50% of the girls now fall into the average category between 45 to 70 % and the guys... I think most of the guys fall into the below average or worst category.. u will find very few worst girls below the 35 percentile.. its dominated by guys!
In short, Guys are more evenly distributed across the curve, but girls are more clustered around the middle.

No wonder it is difficult to find guys for girls in the marriage market... there are very good guys but very few.. and there are few average guys as well.. but average girls are plenty.
I wonder if this is becase our society is basically meant to be a polygamic society.. I mean if we think with a broad mind that is what makes sense.. looks like most of the male population is junk it is meant to be discarded only.. . the better guys should get more girls.. that makes sense..:-P

us v/s them

us v/s them attitude is the root of all defensiveness,
This came to me along with the "u are trying to be so careful not to break the shell but the eggs are boiled :-D" thing. In my dream!
may be this is writing on the wall but still
vegetarian v/s non veg
arranged marriage v/s love marriage
burka lady v/s bikini lady
When I m  discussing all these things, Its not about the actual issue in question, is it?
its always us v/s them.
Thats why I get really defensive about the subjects..Thats why the reactions are so strong and we are so unreasonable. Once u identify with the Us stand, u just cant see the good in the them stand, u just want to bash em up!  

subtitles

A movie in a language which I dont understand, sounds more appealing than something I do understand?
subtiltes - when our brain matches the meaning to the words, Its not really like 2 organs doing a job, the ear and eye merge somehow and  after a while it becomes one. its not just 2, its 3 actually.. its not just looking, its reading...its a different sense than seeing..
but that apart, listening to something I dont understand is soothing..
is that because watching a movie with subtitles more like reading a book? :-)
There is a module in our brain which is linking the hearing and the reading togther, because the same line I read in a Iranian movie is different from the one when readin a French or Korean movie.. its differnet based on  accent and context and everything! Brain is cool!

good at heart aru

It was a joke really, sort of sarcastic comment aimed at a sharp tongued person :-) when ever he made a rude comment.(Oh he made those all the time :D) I used to say You talk like this but you are good at heart aRu. I did meant it too but the intention was to make a joke of him.
Now I am thinking, Its not a joke, If I can apply this in life - everywhere.Its a very good attitude! its very cool attitude really. If only we can see thru people and see that they are good at heart, even tho they may speak harshly, or they swear- at you, even tho they are silly and stupid :-) or casteist or racist or have a low opinion of you :-P not stick to your social values - drink, smoke, eat nonveg :-P promiscuous, watch porn, steal? have 4 children!!! dont recycle, spit on road, hunt! wear burqa, dont believe in abortion of downs syndrome kid ..so on...so.. on
All the apparently junk people may  actually be good at heart if only we have the good sense and maturity to see it.
but maturity eludes..
may be not in real time, atleast if we can see it in retrospect I guess it would be a good start.

Maturity eludes

when someone has low expectation or a low opinion of you what do u do?

The sane ones who go on exactly as before,they are not affected by what others think of them, good or bad, they do what they'd have done in any case.
Others who try to put in extra effort to make things right, try to do extra good to change that low opinion to good opinion. Normal people.
Then there are some others who try to live up to the low expectation and do even worse. "u think badly of me and that's how I shall be!" types..Silly immature people.

Guess which one I turned out to be... :-)

my shuttle driver looks just like this!

Now seriosuly!!! I swear! even shade or two better than this!!!
I think all meditation paying off! :P Law of attraction works ;-)
God!!! you exist and your world is a lovely beautiful place! :-D I love you! :-D
**Widest Grin** ever **

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fauja_Singh
When thoughts cross my mind I may be too old for this or that...I think of this man!
100 and going strong.

coffee and cognac :-) yumm!!!
winter is almost here and it brings in some goodies with it :D this is one of them!