a fairy dies every time u...

Going into a forest feels like a rejuvenation, staring from top of a mountain at the horizon feels freeing, safe, like some long held tension is released. walking barefoot... looking at the stars...
When we dont do these things, we lose a small tiny part of our soul. Its not noticeable because we have backup options, something else in our very developed mind compensates for it... but the sum total of it all.. that shows..it shows that our soul has stretched thin.  depression, cancer, stress, tension, autoimmune problem etc...or ok need not be something major like that but vague uneasiness and muscle tension, Its like the background noise of the AC or the motor road, u dont notice it, but u notice how nice it is when it stops.

Concrete roads, houses, cities, artifical lights even agriculture, wheel, fire... was it one step away from nature? Where do u draw the line? Crows use a stick to get insect out of the crevice, termites build mounds.. is that away from nature? Do they lose tiny pieces of their souls too?  ;-) 

Today news paper listing all autustic people - Einstein, Newton, Charles Darwin!!?? hello?
Makes me think many of the mental "Illnesses" are just different brains rahter than Ill brains?
offcourse some of the problems are real
or are they! hmmm...

Draft from 2014 

You meditate and you are still like this?
You are like this and still you dont meditate? ;-)

 #goodcomeback #obviouslynotenlightened :D :-P

Am I a hypocrite

People who insist on using separate vessels for meat and veg, who want to use separate vessels for festivals all this irritates me no end.

But according to pranic healing, energy permeates everything and this even if you wash it, if you cook meat in a vessel the energy stays. I believe in this. So basically I know the reason behind why they are doing it, I believe the reason to be true. Then why the irritation?

1) I believe that the nuisance and ill feelings such fuss causes far outweighs it benefit
2) the spiritual development of such people is minimal ( :-P yeah I know :P ) and such hygiene is required for serious and advanced yoga practitioners. Not for people who do maggie style sandhyavandane ;-)
3) Also I am not sold on the value of prana hygiene, It reminds me too much of un-touchability and all the social evils. nothing good could have caused it or could come out of it. I feel anyone on the path shud be beyond such small selfishness.  

4)  Is it because I think, They are using it for material benefits and not for spiritual? 

This comes under the general umbrella of my irritation towards many old customs, done ignorantly, causing more harm than good etc etc.  

Blogger is a graveyard of blogs, all dead since years, no posts since 2011,2013...
I am feeling like an apocalypse survivor :-D

I am a puppet( and is there such a thing as a boatsman? )

x

I wish I was a poet,
so I could write this as a poem, this feeling is poem worth,
Alas I am not. I am however a puppet,
I am pulled constantly by invisible strings,
Sensations and feelings, like waves of the sea, gently and not so gently pushing me to the shore.
The strings so subtle, the currents so under the surface
There is more than one puppet master and more than one wave, I go hither and tither rather than a straight line
 I am the master of my fate, I am a boat with a sail and rudder, or so I sometimes think
Am the boat or the boatsman?
 Is there a boatsman?  or is it just me and the waves? or just the waves, no boatsman and no me?

DO NOT correct peoples opinion on social media. Its a trap. Its a bait and every time we fall for it, They( THEY!!! the boogey men )  get our data, attention and time.

Or In real life for that matter, Its as much waste of time in real life as on social media. May be ask questions and try to understand why they have that opinion, there is absolutely no point trying to argue/correct people.

Yes yes Cow breaths out oxygen! :-) :P

They are all doing it for relief, I am going it for enlightenment ;-)
On meditation
  - my ego 

Autobiography of a yogi has a quote by Meera Bai - She was a woman saint in medieval India. When some men didnt allow her into a spiritual place because she was woman she said - Dont u know you are all female too and the only male is God?

One of my friends once told me that when Sufi saints die - They perform Urs, which is a marriage of the saint with God! The songs of the Sufi are always sung as love and longing of a woman for the man who is god, It is sung my men mostly.

Different religions same spirituality :-)

The contrast - between the spiritual and the normal. In all of our cultures where calling a man a woman is one of the worst insults,  these men willingly/openly go around calling themselves women/female. It is very touching, Bhakti movement is a very tender movement, so full of heart! 

Do you become stronger or weaker on going thru an ordeal?

The thai boys who were stuck in the flood ed cave for 15 days - One of their friends commented that He will learn from the boys how to face adversity, he said they would have become so much stronger after facing the ordeal.
This is in contrast to how the survivors of Grenfell town fire were treated in UK. Like an adversity damages a person and they need extra care and help to get back to normal. The popular psychology today takes this kind of view that we get damaged by ordeal, where as the traditional way of thinking was ordeal makes us stronger.
Which of this is true? Is what we believe true for us?
I think  there an optimum amount of ordeal untill which we become stronger and more than that damages us?  I think this optimum level depends on our upbringing and beliefs. I think thai boys will have a much higher threshold for damage because of the expectations of their society and their beliefs. Where as the western counterparts would get damaged more easily because of being treated delicately by the society and expectation by everyone that they get damaged.
The same symptoms may be treated differently by cultures. It is possible that trauma symptoms may be denied by the thai guys where as western kids would speak openly about it. Also possible that thai boys will overcome the symptoms by mental strength of their beliefs.

equal pay for women

Same argument as the last post.
Is it the main problem that women are paid less than men? It definitely is one problem, But shouldnt we also have to start thinking about why a Fire Fighter/Farmer/Postman/Nurse are paid less than a CEO/Pop Star/Sports man?
I am not advocating communism or marksism but Just like we are thinking its unfair that women are paid less than men, we should start thinking why food is the cheapest commodity for us when it is the most critical for our lives? Why are the people who produce food the least important? Why are our values so screwed up? 

New Bramhin caste is already here have u noticed it?

Just heard the news that the boys stuck in the thai caves are saved after weeks of heroic effort and death of one navy seal. This is happy news and at the same time tinged with sadness. Rishi remarks - These dedicated people who risk their lives for their job are paid less. While we in cushy jobs with asses on warm chairs earn well?  :-(
This calls for bringing back this old draft blog. ( I did write this before reading Yual Nova Harare :P )

Why does a doctor get paid more than the nurse? People just dismiss this question as a stupid question!
Ha! its obvious! A doctor has a more critical job, doctor studies for long years! A doctor is more important than the nurse. Its easier to be a nurse than a doctor. More people can be a nurse than a doctor.
We as a society value scientific people more than say compassionate or caring people. You may think wtf! Offcourse scientific brain is most valuable. I am not questioning that, but it does not have to be like that. It is our conditioning speaking no?
 Its a made up scale. Forget doctors we have too much respect for them. What about software engineer vs a nurse. Why does a software engineer who is making a software for tv earn more than a nurse? Somewhere along the way we decided that - Yes! The scientific and maths oriented minds are more precious and that has set the stage.
The science minds are only middle of the grade in the new caste system.
brokers or middlemen or people who facilitate and who dont actually add any tangible real value to the baseline are valued the most.  stock brokers / bankers/ Arbitrators/CEOs . The people who do tangible work are minions and are valued the least. Is this system correct? I m questioning this.

I am also questioning how if I do the same work in UK it is more value than in India, if you ignore all stories like economics and money and pure value added by the work to earth in both cases is same.
Its not like the differences are little, the differences are in orders of magnitude different.
A nurse earns 1/4 the salary of a doctor who earns 1/100 ish the salary of a CEO. If all are in the same country. An Indian nurse earns 1/40 of a British doctor and 1/1000 of a low income CEO.
nurse salary in india 2000£ per year
nurse salary in uk 20,000£ per year
doctor salary in Uk 60,000-100,000
junior doctor is 30,000
stock broker 60,000-100,000-500,000
investment banker similar

ftse 100 ceo salary in uk 5,000,000£ 5 million I hope i have the right number of zeros.
are they adding that much value to earth or its self inflated importance and salary.

Salary is one thing, The respect I have in my mind ( yea i m guilt of favouring a scientist, but I am questioning my bias)  for science maths n logical ability which we call intelligence, Is it rightful. ( My mind is so conflicted, It is sure of superiority of logical brain n looks lowly upon illogical ones)
but is it right? isnt that as wrong as caste system, I really valued and saw what nurses did and what qualities they had. patience, compassion, connection with people( not all, some of them, but they are not paid more than others)
Is it at all possible to come out of such biases? Or are humans doomed to  just keep going from one caste system to another?

me too

Ok this is controversial. I am being devils advocate.

There are arguments that addicts are not responsible for their behaviour, They are programmed that way. Depressed people are not responsible for their suicides. Its chemical imbalance. If we agree to this, Then.. setting aside all the mental blocks and prejudices - Are sexual abusers and perverts responsible for their behaviour? Can they help it?
I dont know about serious abuse and rape, Keeping asise such serious issues. This is about groping.
 I can say that when I see a cute child or animal like my cat, I have intense desire to squeeze it. We, without any regard to what the animal or child wants usually pick up and cuddle/squeeze cute things. and nobody calls us a pervert. What if the groping instinct is something similar? What if the perpetrator is overcome by desire to grope when they see an attractive body?
and also just like my cute aggression is directly proportional to the cuteness of the cat/puppy, this instinct as well. So to an extent the sexually attractive person does instigate the behaviour. This statement is repulsive to us modern people but if we think about it objectively, Is there truth in it? Why is groping not a mental health condition and why is this case different from addiction or depression?
A transgender person said that both men and women groped him/her and thought that it was funny.

Another question is what percentage of men would grope or not grope? In the western society outwardly it is minimal, 2%? in India 20%? but would the men who dont grope behave in the same way under all circumstances? What if they were in another town and nobody was watching? If lights were off, if the girl was drunk? What about in a strip club and what if the women were prostitutes? What if they were just dolls in a sex shop? how many would grope? 70%? 90? I think the number is very high - normal population has 10% gay men and another 1% asexual out ot the remaining 90% I think 70-80% would behave badly if in a Westworld like scenario, where everything is allowed, if the women were all robots or dolls or whatever. I think whatever they say, most men know this. So This being the case, How harshly should we judge the men who actually grope us?

I am not saying men will be men, The first statement I said was let us set aside our conditioning - I cannot . I m totally repulsed and disgusted by Patthabi Jois groping women who did yoga with him. I am all for punishing very harshly men who behave disgustingly towards women. But the questions do remain.

why are u carrying a backpack

You know how I loath handbags, non ergonomic inefficient and your hands are not free! and too small and people end up carrying multiple bags! seriously! What kind of person carries those! Anyway! So, me being this logical practical efficient liberated by society standards woman carries a backpack.

Each and every Shop - Madam leave your back with security! Why? That lady is carrying a bigger handbag and u didnt stop her?! Purse is allowed madam! Why!? Its easier to steal things in a handbag, Its harder to slip things into something on your back than on your arm?!? Sorry rules madam! X-(

Each and every person I meet, Why are u carrying your laptop! I am NOT!
Why are u carrying such a heavy bag? Its not heavy.
Why do u have a backpack? I have water and umbrella in it. Why dont u carry it your hand! :-O X-( Beacause I like my hands free!? :-O and I dont want to lose things!?!
Leave the backpack in the car. No! I have my purse in it. ... and if these bloody "ladies" jeans had pockets.. :D u know how it goes..
Anyway in spite of being a 'liberated from society' type of woman, this got to me, I got really edgy - Your back...  GRRRRrrr bow bow bow Bite! :-D
Ok time to do something about this nuisance. Be gone black backpack and Welcome white one with flowers on it ! ;-)
Problem solved :D No one so far has riddled me about my "backpack" "laptop bag" "rugsack" :D Even tho it is 1 1/2 times bigger than the black one :D ;-)

Peoples will be peoples! Silly peoples! 

Attitude towards tax

 What is your attitude towards tax?
From when I am young all around me the attitude was that we shud pay tax as an obligation, we try to save as much tax as possible. Mind you my parents were honest people who paid their taxes, still tax was something to be avoided.
Not just the people but the government also made out tax as something to be avoided if possible. Giving us tax breaks, tax incentives not just to people but to companies to increase profit etc.

Now that I am an adult and I am thinking, It hit me. Tax is my good karma. Tax is an ultimate act of altruism. It is my contribution to common good. It is my charity. I am paying for other peoples children's education, old peoples' poor peoples' medicine, for roads, pavements, social housing, for electricity and gas, for basic infrastructure,for conservation of forests. 40% of my monthly salary, I am spending for doing good to others. It is a great social act and a charity. Wow! I and most others who pay tax, why didnt someone, anyone else present this perspective of tax to me? Most people I have tried to tell this to, looked at me like I was nuts, or they laughed thinking I was making a joke. but no - this is true.

Why are we all finding ways to save tax? Why is the government treating it as if it were looting me? Why do I resent the tax, instead of feeling this peace and joy when tax gets deducted every month? All the good that is happening because of my tax, why am I not thinking of all the people who will be benefited by me and feeling good?

May be in corrupt countries you may be entitled to feel bad about your tax, that someone is cheating you. but in developed countries where we are actually seeing our tax being used, we shud give with joy. We should appreciate the government which is forcing us to get over our selfish human nature and contribute to common good. Companies also should give happily, Why do to tax haven, why think about your bottom line only? Think about your duty as well, for others, for mother earth.We should all give because frankly we have enough. more than enough.

My tax - I have enough and the rest I give with joy for greater good. Blessings to people who are benefited by this, that includes me as well.

advanced yoga course summary

Self learning

visualisation if you cant do the asana visualize - shockingly effective
struggle of the ego, let go and go with the flow instead of resisting.
When things dont go our way, if we dont resist the new way, we will see that the new way has lot to offer.
Study of the essays - tattwas, tantra, vajroli amaroli sahajoli

Books read

Yoga Sutras
HYP
Geeta
Tattwa shuddhi
Astama/Diabetes cure
Sahajoli/Vajroli/Amaroli
Saundraya Lahari - begining

Asanas

SuryaNamaskara
Advanced Suryanamaskara,

• Closed eyes
• Hold breath, twice.

Sthiram sukham asanam/Praitanya shaitilya
Shankaprashalana exersices
Advanced Asanas
-Vajrasana series
-Standing Balancing with Padmasan type things
-Sheershasana with out arms
-crow variations

Pranayama

Anuloma Viloma
Nadi Shodhana
Bhastrika - One alternate nostril breath
Ujjayi - breath in thru both breath out thru left
Bharamari - inhale and exhale
Sheitali/Shitkari with Bhramari Exhale/Plain Exhale

Mudras

Manduki
MahaMudra
Kechari, Kesari
Shanmuki

Cleansing techniques

Neti
- with nose -> mouth
- with mouth -> nose
Rubber Neti
Vaman
Danda Dhauti
Vastra Dhauti
Shankaprashalana

Kapalabhati
Agnisaara
Nauli

PanchaKarma - cant do at home
Basti - eye one
Trataka - we didnt do

Misc and Little things

Om Dharana
-Kechari mudra during asana and meditation/

HeadStand alignment - ariel
shoulder exersice - sharon
Fasting one day - dedicating it to shiva - rupa
Bhakti yoga - rupa
Attachment to food - rupa
Daljit
-gratitude
-forgiveness
wash veggies before putting in fridge
deo :D
creative visualisation
aversion to things, get over it - vrittis
exersices to balance hip
tablet for knee

fear of suffering

Fear of things is greater than the thing itself.
I am so afraid of feeling hungry, feeling cold in cold weather, of cold shower.
Our feelings keep us in a tight leash :-D very much in control ;-)
We go to great lengths so as to not feel these feelings. Especially in the modern civilized world we are not used to feeling unpleasant feelings at all.

It would be a good training to slowly, allowing ourselves to experience and explore the unpleasant feelings and learn to relax into them. to be done kindly very slowly :-) Or the feelings will rebel.

lessons from the ashram 1

I am fasting ( Fruit fast) to
get over the fear of hunger
get over the attachment to food

(This is the motivating factor there are others reasons like  may be lose weight and better health and all that as well) 

3 rules of weight loss

Only 3 simple rules

1. Eat Only when u are hungry
2. Eat only untill you are just full
3. Chew very well, like a cow

We can follow these rules only once our bodies are cleansed. Otherwise our cravings dont let us get correct gauge of hunger and fullness.

3 day cleanse Day  1 fruits and Raw veg, Day 2 only lemon water, Day 3 only juices and soups- liquid diet.

It is good to do this in spring and autumn

https://www.yogapoint.com/yoga-poses/yoga-for-obesity.htm

Weekly fast- Weekly one day start with soup for dinner, then slowly reduce to only soups and fruits for the whole day. 

my past lives

In my last life I was a colonial british living in India, born 1900s and lived in India 1920s-1940s. Lived in those colonial buildings I love so much, in Dehradoon? may be even until 1970s when I died? lived in England too, on the moors, enjoying the rare sunny winter days, climbing oaks.  Countryside, middleclass family.

I have lived in China before and offcourse tibet, ( thats why I like all those Chinese artists and Jackie Chan :-P )  I have done vipassana before. and offcourse India. Himalayas. More lifetimes as Buddhist than Hindu, so more in South east Asia than India, the pull of the culture says it, I must have been Shinto too, and a Witch in UK. I love the witch lore. In Europe, the only connection is to UK, none of the other countries, Same with the Americans - no connection either to the Native Americans or the recent USA/Canada. Even tho the native American spiritual side is fascinating and I was drawn to Aya. 

Considering we all came from Africa must have had a few lifetimes there but they must be long time ago, as I dont feel connected, even tho I love so much, the music, the rhythm, the language, the dance.

Middleeast, sufi yes, I have been there and done that. The music and the culture, sufiness, definitely in the last 1000 years I have been born in the middle east.

ps: This is all pure speculation and fun, please don't report me to the psych police :D :P