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1 September 2011

Conditioning the mind and sticking to a pattern is useful to the mind but sometimes we suffer major loss due to these patterns.  J K asks us to watch out for patterns.
 Beggars are part of gangs, beggars gangs = mafia. so I will never give any money to any beggar. Thats a right pattern and a right decision. but this really hurt me.
Allahabad station, one sadhu came begging. I refused point blank. He calmly just moved on to the next person. After a while,sometime after the sadhu disappeared, I realised he was actually asking for food. he was not asking for money at all :-( I feel really bad about refusing that guy point blank like that. we went searching we had spare biscuits but we din find him...I m sorry :-(
Judging. long back probably just out of college. went to a movie, there was this guy who was trying to look too cool but looked pathetic(to me),short guy,oiled hair, cheap goggles, flashy shirt, color baniyan and all... I din like him! made fun of him while getting out of the theater but I realised he was just ahead of me .. i dono if he heard me or not.. he went out of the theatre and got on to an old  cycle and left .. :-( . he must have put in lot of effort and money into dressing up and coming to the movie hoping to look good and people to like. If he heard my comments he would have felt really sad :-( I feel really bad about this. I m sorry.
I may have hurt 1000's of people and been insensitive/rude etc etc with out any guilt (  no guilt even after realising and sometimes rude intentionally) but why some incidents hurt more than others? I dono.

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