haage sumne old cribbings( for myself)

Sumne people will complain not interesting, what all u  are posting? anta, 

so I have started putting * and disclaimer in small print (for myself) anta :))

I keep regretting my decisions , on hidesight that too

It may not be that the consequence of the decision is really bad but I regret and I regret and I keep mulling over - What wud have happened if I had made a different choice.

No I don’t mull over options, I mull over reasons why this particular decision in the past has led to a bad situation today.

One very silly reason - This is about taking the certification program for pranic helaing.

Now I am regretting it, it took away 2 weekends lot of my work is pending I shouldn’t have done it.

If I hadn’t done I wud have new regrets? Like I am having for not doing crystal healing course.

I let others opinions influence me, for one. And another is that I keep regretting.

I should observe and let go of this habit.[Still valid]

I will feel really much happier if I do this. May be it is just lack of confidence is decisions? No it’s just this silly habit,   I am doing this even about trivial things. 

I do this even when I take a route to office or back home... if there is traffic jam, I sometimes find myself wondering if this is the most optimum route.. but I guess thats ok, as long as I m not regretting it..

[Old days - year ago.. I think I am almost over this problem? Atleast this time I took steps instead of( along with :P) counting ways in which any decision was wrong]

I should improve will power. Heart and mind are ok, will is not so well

I am not happy with the efforts I put into anything and I feel inadequate, this is what is waking me up in the middle of the night. I am too tired to really try and do more . I just sit on my ass and I don’t really do much?  Is it the feeling that I don’t do much that is wrong or I really don’t do much, that is for me to decide. I should either do more or stop worrying that I don’t do enough. This is really worrying me.

[Now I think about what JK says - when u want to become something , u are never really fulfilled! the solution is to just be! This was during the busy shifting to UK time... no such problem or thoughts now :-) Actually the old old problem of waking up at 4 worried had disappeared since I joined this job! god hope it doesnot come back!] ]

I probably need to be lil more willfull. Push myself lil more??? I need to think about this because I may be getting influenced by what my parents think I should do or what I think my parents think I should do. Expectations..

U cud have advertised car before. I cud have done more with the transition, I cud have done more as the team leader. I can help more at home. I am not getting hands on exp in office,[Bull! :-) didnt need any! I guess like swimming u cant forget being a developer] I am not even copying code etc. [S is always there :D encyclopedia :D] I cud have tried harder to get that job in UK. I am not sure I shud have tried because I want some time off. I always want time off. I am not exzersicing I am not doing meditation daily. [come on! already too much on your plate] I always do everything in the last minute.[so? thats my style I do pull it off dont I?] I am not meeting my expectations. Expectations are high or efforts are low I am not sure.[ Just beating myself up for no reason there! It was loads of things to finish and alone at that. All I want to say year ago deepa is Just chill! babes :D :P]

I am really averse to working hard. . I am not averse to hard work only to that work which is not in my mind, I worked like a donkey in the garden, but driven work like my parents always keeping busy is not my cup of tea. but my own self seems to feel I shud put lil more effort into life than what I am doing now and I get worried. [ yeah again getting worried thinking about what others want me to do. when that others are very close people like parents and it is subtle things .. we forget this! 
Seriosuly what is wrong with my parents! why they work like that!!!! I remember that day when  my house was getting painted.. Crazy people cleaned and cleaned and I cleaned with them and fell sick! It was like almost 10 hours of cleaning from morning to night. They dono how to relax!]