quote from sex and the city

Charlotte is gushing about how she met this guy and how it is fate and all that...

Miranda: It’s not fate… His light is on. That’s all.
Charlotte: What light?
Miranda: Men are like cabs. When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and they decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever. And they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up, boom, that's the one they'll marry. It’s not fate, it’s dumb luck.
Charlotte: I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that love is that random.
Miranda: Please, it's all about timing. You gotta ge t'em when their light's on.
Carrie: Most men I meet are flashing yellows.
Miranda: Or off-duty... They can drive around for years picking up women and not be available.
Carrie: Then they really shouldn't be allowed to get behind the wheel.
Miranda: Most men don’t stay lit long before they take the plunge versus most women who have been lit pretty much since birth.

so true! :D that was just awesome!

Growth

I ve noticed that these days I talk to myself more in terms of -  You do this - do that..rather than I will do this do that. I m wondering if someone reading blog may feel like I am lecturing them and get offended LOL!! I m just talking to myself!

Gyan from pranic healing... Also from Jiddu K about sensitivity and observing and chrism.

When u have compassion and understanding, u grow above the people who are upsetting and irritating you, they start looking like children which are misbehaving. U understand why they behave the way they do - anger, insecurity, resentment, misunderstand etc. U will feel sad and sorry and pity for them.. not in  a bad mocking way but in a nice way - with empathy and compassion. 

[I can understand this for normal circumstances but how can u feel kindness for paedophiles and rapists? and for taliban? especially in the context of  cutting off the ears and nose of that girl in Afghanistan...Dawood and pak govt.. kindness and understand for AIDS virus for example.. how can you grow above them? ]

Only people like Jesus and Buddha can and GandhiJi too..I dont think anyone else could ever imagine that nonviolence is the solution to any conflict, but all this terrorism convinces me  its the only solution.. (somehow Krishna falls short when compared to these saints :-( ) I used to feel irritated and feel that they are stupid and sissy. There is a story of a saint who was trying to rescue a scorpion from water and it was repeatedly biting him. he says scorpion is following its nature by biting and I am folllowing my nature as human that is to be kind.. now I understand and respect that saint's greatness. 

reflection

[More gyan - what to do... its the books may be]

What ever bothers us in others is a reflection of ourselves,

the world is a mirror and it only reflects us.

what we dont have in Us doesnot bother us...

Its a nice trigger point to start self examination. It is usually true.

- Demian, also echoed by Louise Hay

refusing help from others

It is equally important to take help as well as to help others. we are brought up to believe ( my parents firmly believed) that we should not accept help from others as far as possible. they really emphasized independence and self reliance.  That has stood me in a good steed. but upto an extent...
When people refuse to take help from me ( guess who! :-D  ) I realise how important it is to let people who love you and whom you love to help. That makes them more free to ask you for help. Not that I approve of getting all needy or of using/misusing helpful people... but its ok  sometimes to ask,even when u dont need-need help.
No one feels comfortable asking for help from an independent person. They dont have the face to ask u because u have never asked them for anything. Actualy it really makes people feel very bad about the whole situation when u want o help but always refuse help... May also come across as Ego.. (yeah Ego, independence is good but not asking help because of ego is really bad)
Actually I m sometimes guilty of this, but when I m on other side - some of them come across as proud and independent(Like!) but some condescending, like they have a superior air about themselves( Hate!)...  If I look back this has left a bad taste in me and I have avoided such people...

Its important to understand that refusing to be helped is as bad as refusing help. Its the same as refusing help- next time.

The pleasure of reading a good book is while you are reading it and not on finishing it...

summer slipping away

why spoil the moment by trying to hold on?
savour what is, now.. why think of if it will be tomorrow and worry
why think  why it was not there yesterday and cry?
What ever happy/sad will pass.. thats what life is like.. a flowing river.

 I know all this but the first signs of red on the trees worrying me. winter is coming .. Its a long way away.. but I want to hold on to summer ...
I bladed about how spring was so wonderful because of difficult winter and everything.... but still I want summer to last for ever :-(
Silly me.

The thought of winter in summer should keep us grounded (instead of worry)and the thought of summer in winter should cheer us by giving hope(instead of longing). 

When god closes a door he opens a window...

Sunny day - sleeping on grass and reading in the sun! Priceless!  Its almost addictive ... unfortunately this whole week, Its sunny when I am in the tube, I keep dreaming of going and reading a book in the park but as soon as I get to my station, its cloudy :-(

Saturday also started off cloudy, rainy infact.. but afternoon, the Sky cleared up - beautiful sun and blue skies :-) Yuppie! I forgot lunch and the weather forecast, I put on sunscreen, threw the umbrella away  and off to the park I went, with my book and cherries. :D 

Ok! u guessed it.. :-D soon its cloudy, 5 mins of book reading.. sky turning completely dark grey , I wont  let this affect my rare optimism ! no no no! and then  rain  in another 5  :-) .  What  kind of  really unusual bout of optimism made me sit in the park till this point, that too without umbrella?.. Sunscreen and everything  too!! LOL!  Grrrr... walking back and midway a small clearing opens up in the sky and sun peeps out.. mocking me!! come back and read that book eh? no way! grrr... always coming out to mock me!! Big Tease! and Oh BTW u cant lie down in the grass anyway, after rains, Its all Wet! and muddy! grrr.. Anyway I walk over this bridge still grumbling at the sun..  and guess what? :-)

Beautiful big fat rainbow!! just over the brigde! :-D wow wow wow!!! My first rainbow in London really!! :-D Wow!! I feel really sheepish now ! Thank you sun..:-$, and ...err... sorry for grumbling...:-D so sweet of the sun to come out and make a rainbow for me :-) Thank you ! Thank you! Thank you! :-) 

Hesse

Read two books by Herrman Hesse  Demian and Peter Camenzind.. Ive read Siddharta before.. I like them.. At this point they seem more like fiction, like able fiction with a spiritual tinge.. more teenage angst like... I think Hesse has struggled a lot with what to make of morality and religion and everything... all 3 books have a similar theme. Ive felt this way at times, like I dont belong and I am different and whole world is going in a rut and all that.. but as I grow older ... Then Hesse wrote these novels in his 20's...When I had read Siddhartha a few years ago I had felt it to be very spiritual book.
Demian made me very curious about what Carl Jung is all about.. I will read him soon.. archetypes and Id and all that.. or was it Freud?  Ah I should read these two sometime.  but before that more Herrman Hesse :D
( I like his kinda dark and brooding world...? Or Its a matter of habit - I like to go into familiar worlds - Chronicles of Narnia.. I read one book. I stop and after a few days I feel  Whats up in Narnia these days.. same with Two and a half men.. I dont watch one day I  feel like ah something;s missing I didn't meet charlie today :-))
What really stuck me is that in all his women are just like a precious vase or a painting or something, like something to be kept in the museum and adored. I mean all Hesse characters love the women supposedly passionately but always from a distance :-) and the very close emotional bonds are all between the guys...
is this how it is with all early 19th century writers?  or is Herrman... Gay? or atleast he had a strong inclination.. I think.. :-)  I dono if I am corrupted by this society or what but I felt the same about Tintin too...( and others on the internet agree :D)  ... Sholay, all those 70's heros friendships... dont we speculate about that all... :) I do! ( Oh yeah I speculate about all the unmarried women writters of early 18th 19th century too)

In Maine Pyar Kiya there is this 'I love to HATE' dialogue - Ek Ladka or Ek Ladki kabhi dost nahi hoskte.. after 20 years today.. Ek Ladka and Ek Ladka bhi kabhi dost nahi hosakte ...:D  Karma!!!! :-)

-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-*- *-*-
I actually think I liked Demian and Peter C so much because, I read it along side 'Think on these things' by Jiddu K. It was like JK is telling youth to break away from patterns and society and ur own mind.. and think on their own and understand.... and there are these boys in the other book who are actually struggling with the same issues and trying to break away. These two fit in so beautifully. Awesome. Only when I finished JK book today I realised this :-)

I should read my old posts.. I wrote this blog so that repetitive ideas dont bug me.. once I write down it is done, I hoped. but looks like thoughts have taken a wide circle of like 2-3 years and are coming back :-) nice to read old posts and feel oh yeah. Ive thought this before.. nothing new :)

Dont be a Preetam, Brain!!(music composer stealing frm around the world -if you forget who preetam is)

Dont remix- get something new!

Nostalgia

Eragon makes me nostalgic for the good old days.I dono how but some writers create this world so well in our imaginatiosn..I think it happens when u resonate with whats being written..( sad tho that the Eragon part 3 has turned out so boring, I think the author had enough talent for just one book :-( )

Candle light and kerosine lamps being lit...Traders coming in in winder with their wares...

The old story teller telling stories in the middle of the town center..
This just took be back to mid 1970's. no, I wasnt even born but this period makes me nostalgic. When my mum ,my aunts were not married. They all stayed together, young girls - there was no TV,internet ... so wat did they do to pass time? after school/college? they knitted - embroidered- stitched.

they did house work - got water in pots , cooked on wood stoves.. rubokallu - it was used upto even early 90's! read novels in the afternoons, went to temple..giggled and talked with each other , visited neighbors...bitter sweet to imagine this.. its all so sweet and innocent and some what deprived.

Cut to 1980 when we were kids.. oil lamps during power cuts, summer holidays, cousins, family stories. I love love love those times when everyone sat togther and old stories were brought out... Rs house they talk to old funny stories..I really loved to hear of old days when granny and granpa and my uncle and dad were realy poor their hard ships. My mom and bro and their adventures.. every body used to pitch-in in those stories.. granma, uncle..aunts..all beds spread out on the ground and this idle chit chat. for them that was Nostalgia and for us stories! ah how I miss summer holidays and those innocent days...
Dharwad! I loved those old pillow covers and table clothes,old maxis stitched from old sarees, I especially loved my grand moms work... croquet mats, those cloth birds with bead work and chandeliers made with glass bars...It was all so much more beautiful because those were so old... real glass beads not cheap plastic ones. ah Grandma's place makes me so nostalgic.. old furniture..that small wall mirror which was lil too high for me.. with a lil draw at the bottom, I think I could just about reach the draw and peep into it, couldnt really look into the mirror :-) and the cradle :-D we have sat on it, 3 teenagers at a time.Cast Iron so it survived! Piles of old beds and bedsheets.. she kept it just for us, for holiday traffic :D I loved to jump on all that and make it fall... ah!! and under granny bed! Granpas tressures! ah how I loved to look at those! old christmas lights ( diwali lights really :D but there was that star in that....easter star) Akasha butti they called it..and very old cameras...and diamonds :D my aunts old jewellery...mossy smell in the house, high ceilings sky light .. I cant forget that pillar of light in the hall and kitchen...Old Chikku Trees, our Mountain inside the compound - big rock really, but it was huge at least 15 feet high - so mountain! and the other hill from which we could see the train...Tanga..colored chalk rocks mom called it matti kallu... yellow maroon pink.. ( Isle of wright has something similar) I love those days! 

DD just one channel but we waited like crazy for those choosen few serials... Giant Robot, Micky and Donald show, Spiderman I used to love sundays...starts off with Rangoli :) 8-9 break for breakfast brush teeth etc etc then Heman, Mahabharat, disney show, adventures of alladin and some such thing then lunch...boring afternoon movie which we didn't watch ... so sleep in the afternoon or play something then by street hawk, Spiderman etc then nice movie in the evening :) There was no weekend, there was only Sunday. Ads used to come only before and after the program not in between. what ever break was for the news :-)

Bathrooms with Hande's stone floors, totti - sometimes lot of wood and cockroaches in that wood. Now even bucket and jug are disappearing from the bathroom, my house- just shower and bath tub! all of us sleeping in one big all on the floor, no phones and cars at home. kids going by bus walk cycle to school.. things are changing so much... 

We are probably the generation which has seen most change in India. no, probably kids who were born 10 years earlier.. I feel sad for them, they spent their youth in the boring 80.. for us alteast the 90s were decent. we got best of both worlds.. grandmas, summer holidays ,climbing trees and running around on streets and everything and IT and the economic growth also..

how far can u go

Pitiable picture of a doggy in an ad asking for donations for wspca. They will vacccinate and probably neuter 10 dogs if I give a donation of 10£ per month. Wasnt this what I was thinking this afternoon? How far can anyone go, some people turn vegetarian because they dont want to kill to eat.. but plants are life.. so some wont eat plants which grow below the ground.. u kill the plant when u eat... but rice and wheat.. they flower and they die.. so some saints go ever further they eat only that which has fallen off the trees on its own..( what about scavenging on meat :P ) anyway.. how far will u go?

I vaccinated and neutered 2 dogs in my street.. my heart goes out to many.. but how far can I really go? I can only do this much.. SPCA can only do this much.. they probably operate 15-20 dogs a day . really dedicated Vets - hats off to them I really felt good talking to them and very loving personnel- dog handlers. He spoke so lovingly to the street dog Id taken there.."Yenu agalla putta, Yako bhaya padtiya..." :-)
Feeding pigeons and ducks in the park... and squirrels.... I dont do that.. I want to... but there are boards saying dont... hmm and I m against animals being dependent on people...so...
some people even feed ants with sugar....Crows :-) My funny cousin started feeding crows one day.. very soon 100's of crows and huge rukus ! haha LOL! :-)
I hate people feeding monkeys on highways and railway stations, Those guys start risking their life for food :-(
May be we should just do our bit, what ever we feel like, what ever we can and for the rest - there is always .. G o D :-D

Summary of dreams book

I read the dream diary thing article and this is what came out of that

1) rewind your day for ten minutes before you go to bed. dont try to recollect everything just the emotional highs lows and anything that catches ur eye. dont analyse and think, just touch over everyhting. this will help clear the mind and give rise to more interesting dreams

2) keep a dream diary - write down the dreams

3) if u want to remember the dreams stay in the same position as when u woke up. that way it is easier to remember them

4) dreams become longer as u complete more sleep cycles, so better dreams come early in the morning. napping is good because body mostly makes up for REM in the afternoon sleep.

5) asking for things in the dream etc.. these are advanced practices.

6) make ur bedroom a santuary - make a sleep ritual so that as soon as u start the ritual body knows that it has to sleep. light aromatheraphy candels clean sheets etc

7) body asleep mind awake means sleep paralysis not just relaxed body.

8) hypogognia.. stay as awake as possible untill the last minute ( but this makes me stay awake for a long time, even body doesnot fall asleep :) just still.)

He touched upon dream yoga by tibetan monks then he continues aboout dream interpretation. there are many ways of dream interpretation than which may be given in a book and it is very personal for us. it really helps if u keep a dream journal as u can connect dreams

9) dream journaling - just start as soon as possible, but it may be a long long time before u start to remember the dreams, have patience. 1) U can have a table lamp so that if u wake up in the middle of the night u can write in the lamps light. 2) Just jot down basics and then complete the journal later in the day , in commute or in the time when u read the news paper. inhibit your instincts to complete the story or make a more sensible stroy out of the dream, if u are getting that instinct write down both the versions of the stroy.

10) May be being vegeterian will help in better dream recall ( that is why I had closer OBE type things in Jindal? )

Book2 Shadows book

talks of something very similar to louise hay, but I liked it more when louise told it.

shadow or collective unconsciousness

we should accept and embrace our darkside only then we will be whole

basic ideas are same as being conscious of our feelings and accepting all feeling whether bad or good

being sympathetic towards ourselves

all feeling when accepted will tell a story, we need to listen to this and remember it, we should not reject this. this may be from our childhood. we should accept and the dark feeling may go away.

I didnt take home much and didnt like this book much :-( I think it was the American accent that is jarring on an ebook...felt like a sell.. telemarketing.

Gyan (for myself :D)

Thoughts are like ripples on the surface of the lake.. the core of the lake remains calm.. it doesnot shake or ripple with the wind on the surface..

desires - like desire for good food or coffee or for a rest for sleeping 10 minutes more.. are also ripples on the surface of the lake.. the core remains calm

emotions are like ripples on the surface... I am sad, I am irritated, angry, are ripples the core remans calm and serene...

some emotions are stronger like waves but the bottom of the lake.. nothing stirs..

Its good to remember this when feeling strong emotions, when unwanted desires like a chocolate tempt you when on diet like when lazyness or tiredness tempts you when trying to exersice.. that they are just ripples on the surface and they will pass after a short time.. wait and watch the lake.. the ripples will slowly stop after 5 mins ...its a game of patience...restlessness again is just a ripple... you feel ripples of restlessness, again watch that too...remember the core, remeber that all this will pass even huge waves...

Thoughts cause emotions, and emotions in turn bring up similar thoughts its a spiral...before it gets out of control always observe what it is bringing up..which thought led to which emotion... and which emotion to which thought...

About thoughts - thought are chosen by me.. at the root of it. when any unwanted thought comes to mind remember - I chose this thought. These thoughts, they cause the emotions which seem uncontrollable but they are just ripples on the lake - u can sit them out.. not resist..we need resistance to move right like in vacuum we cannt walk. Without resistance the ripples will fade away.

[Borrowed gyan from here and there.. good to remember when things are stormy ]

words...
Tranquility - turquoise lake among emerald mountains...small ripples deep lake windless stillness...

this is the image that comes up in the mind...searched for tranquility on google images many images that turned up were like this too..

peace - white

calm - white

serene -blue

tranquil - turquoise (because the words start similarly?) how different is serene from tranquil really?)

love - pink white gold

beauty - gold purple pink

life - green
music...

lonley shepherd - high mountains with dark green think forest a clearing a person standing and an eagle flying.. the camera angle is as if the eagle is seeing the person in the clearing then person becomes small and eagle is flying among mountains snow + rich dark green thick forests.

Om mani padme hum - snow covered Himalayas... peace... aerial view...sometimes ground level with colorful bald smiling children/monks(?) in red, brown wooden square houses...
Western classical music - Tom and Jerry

haage sumne old cribbings( for myself)

Sumne people will complain not interesting, what all u  are posting? anta, 

so I have started putting * and disclaimer in small print (for myself) anta :))

I keep regretting my decisions , on hidesight that too

It may not be that the consequence of the decision is really bad but I regret and I regret and I keep mulling over - What wud have happened if I had made a different choice.

No I don’t mull over options, I mull over reasons why this particular decision in the past has led to a bad situation today.

One very silly reason - This is about taking the certification program for pranic helaing.

Now I am regretting it, it took away 2 weekends lot of my work is pending I shouldn’t have done it.

If I hadn’t done I wud have new regrets? Like I am having for not doing crystal healing course.

I let others opinions influence me, for one. And another is that I keep regretting.

I should observe and let go of this habit.[Still valid]

I will feel really much happier if I do this. May be it is just lack of confidence is decisions? No it’s just this silly habit,   I am doing this even about trivial things. 

I do this even when I take a route to office or back home... if there is traffic jam, I sometimes find myself wondering if this is the most optimum route.. but I guess thats ok, as long as I m not regretting it..

[Old days - year ago.. I think I am almost over this problem? Atleast this time I took steps instead of( along with :P) counting ways in which any decision was wrong]

I should improve will power. Heart and mind are ok, will is not so well

I am not happy with the efforts I put into anything and I feel inadequate, this is what is waking me up in the middle of the night. I am too tired to really try and do more . I just sit on my ass and I don’t really do much?  Is it the feeling that I don’t do much that is wrong or I really don’t do much, that is for me to decide. I should either do more or stop worrying that I don’t do enough. This is really worrying me.

[Now I think about what JK says - when u want to become something , u are never really fulfilled! the solution is to just be! This was during the busy shifting to UK time... no such problem or thoughts now :-) Actually the old old problem of waking up at 4 worried had disappeared since I joined this job! god hope it doesnot come back!] ]

I probably need to be lil more willfull. Push myself lil more??? I need to think about this because I may be getting influenced by what my parents think I should do or what I think my parents think I should do. Expectations..

U cud have advertised car before. I cud have done more with the transition, I cud have done more as the team leader. I can help more at home. I am not getting hands on exp in office,[Bull! :-) didnt need any! I guess like swimming u cant forget being a developer] I am not even copying code etc. [S is always there :D encyclopedia :D] I cud have tried harder to get that job in UK. I am not sure I shud have tried because I want some time off. I always want time off. I am not exzersicing I am not doing meditation daily. [come on! already too much on your plate] I always do everything in the last minute.[so? thats my style I do pull it off dont I?] I am not meeting my expectations. Expectations are high or efforts are low I am not sure.[ Just beating myself up for no reason there! It was loads of things to finish and alone at that. All I want to say year ago deepa is Just chill! babes :D :P]

I am really averse to working hard. . I am not averse to hard work only to that work which is not in my mind, I worked like a donkey in the garden, but driven work like my parents always keeping busy is not my cup of tea. but my own self seems to feel I shud put lil more effort into life than what I am doing now and I get worried. [ yeah again getting worried thinking about what others want me to do. when that others are very close people like parents and it is subtle things .. we forget this! 
Seriosuly what is wrong with my parents! why they work like that!!!! I remember that day when  my house was getting painted.. Crazy people cleaned and cleaned and I cleaned with them and fell sick! It was like almost 10 hours of cleaning from morning to night. They dono how to relax!]

fears(for myself)

J Krishnamurthy is very good. I didnt feel like that at the beginning of the book, but half way through I am liking him a lot, he says why do u want "to become", just "be" and understand what u are. Observe yourself and understand what is happening without judgement and without trying to change urself. I really liked that

Our minds are full of conditioning and patters from parents, religion, society, TV, friends everything. If you want to see reality then u have to know these patterns and break away from them. ( this theme is repeated everywhere in OBEs, Pranic healing, Vivekananda... )

Another thing I liked about JK is he compares all these revolutions like communism, revolt against corruption for example, attempt to change society, jihad.. all as revolt with in the prison. you are revolting with in the confines of what u already know.. u are asking the warden for better food and bedding but u are not thinking of going out of the prison. This is true of feminist ideas and our rebelling against traditions as well unless you fully understand why u are taking a particular stand.  The real revolt is somewhere father away or rather closer - its in our head.

Observations:

-fear that someone is coming from the opposite side in the hallway and I have to talk them. want to take detour just to avoid talking. What am I afraid of? just a hi will do? I dont like the silence? no! Small talk is boring and it drains me. but when I dont talk I feel like a morose person.

-confusion - should I smile at this person or not...well it may be UK but I dont wish everyone on the street so thats the decision made. not smiling at strangers its not my style.
-fear of giving people ideas! ( seriously!) guy with very 2 cute dogs in park. usually I would pet the dogs but guy is also cute, so I wont!! I ll just avoid. I wonder if the person who has ideas is me or the guy! :D  anyway I run faster, but out of breath have to sit down on a bench! it will look like I am sitting on the bench just so that i can talk to the guy!!! anyway I put an end to all sillyness I call the doggy, pet it and tell that guy very cute dogs! what are their names how old ! so sweet! ok bye! that was easy and not even draining small talk. and no body got any ideas.! sheesh! sometimes our minds are shit!
another fear - dont talk to some people on tube because I will have to talk even next day and I wont have anything to talk and then it will become draining.
fear of spoiling while using new things for experiments like with t shirts or paper.
Saving - biryani why to put good ghee, let me put half good ghee and half store bought one. add little bit more water to chutney then I can eat it two days. let me put half ground nut and half coconut!! god! just go and buy another coconut! ok atleast good ghee is understandable because mom made it. I dont have the need to skimp but sometimes I do.
fear that I am wasting.. want to take even the last drop out of mixie because mom used to. I am too lazy to get to the last bit but wasting... is bad. These days i let it go, no time no patience low priority.
fear of spoiling books - by making dog ears, underlining, writing with pen!! Gasp!! yeah This is not at all my ideas of how books should be handled, it is borrowed from here and there.. I like my book well worn with my stamp on them. so now if I want to book mark a page I fold it. I underline with pen and make notes in the margins! I will fold the book in half too.. sorry if u dont like it.
fear of being watched and laughed at when i get too engrossed in meditation. ends up in opening one eye at times.
fear of being shouted at when trying to move furniture at home or buying new furniture etc again this fear is superseeded by much stronger defiance  so things do get done.
fear of failure when trying new recipe... or when adding new ingredient, but this fear is too small compared to the spirit of experimentation so new ingredients and new ways always win and get tried :D
fear of things slipping out of my head after reading interesting things... this I mentioned before also...

Genie

Once upon a time there was a merchant in Persia..you know how it was in Persian in those days.. he found a lamp and he rubbed it and Voila!! Genie!! this was not the 3 wishes regular genie tho.. He said I will grant u thousand wishes master.. or more! There is no limit !
Wonderful!!!
but! But! he said ( there is always a but! no?) but you cannot let me sit idle for even a moment. As long as you have me occupied, as long as you have work for me, you are safe(!!!!) As soon as I run out of work I m going to eat you and I will be free...
and the story continues in many ways... always happy ending with merchant winning, some say merchant asked Genie to count the number of grains in the desert, some say he asked the genie to build a long pole pour oil on it and them climb it, as soon as he climbed up , he slid down and was thus occupied for ever. ( somewhat like that cursed greek mythology guy who had to haul a rock up the hill only to throw it down. but not quite  )

I wonder if this Genie is an Allegory for our restless minds? and dont we, very much like the merchant give our genie - the mind some toy, some puzzle and useless repetitive task just so that it is occupied and does not bother us?

all in the mind

When people dismiss off things which they are not open enough to accept, they say its all in the mind. and they dont say it in a good way. This post by Ed on OBENewsletter on yahoo groups. Exactly what I feel so copy pasting it here


Here's what drives me crazy about these people and their explanations.

Everything we experience is processed by the brain. That does not mean we didn't experience anything.

When we walk, our feet touch the ground, the nerves in our feet send signals to our brain indicating that they
are perceiving the weight of our body on them, the tactile sensation of the ground we're walking on, and the
liquid in our inner ear senses motion.

Now consider telling a person who took a walk that they didn't actually take a walk. What they perceived as walking
was nothing but chemical reactions and neurons firing in the brain giving you the sense that you were touching the
ground, feeling your weight and moving forward.

Of course the brain processed this data! That doesn't mean the person didn't take a walk.

The only difference between the brain processing a walk and an astral walk is that you can't see the later objectively.
Therefore, to science-minded sheep, the astral walk didn't happen. But their logic is ridiculous.

When you're angry, the brain releases certain chemicals. That doesn't mean someone didn't piss you off.

back pain

Different techniques to improve ergonomics and get rid of RSI's pains and aches....
guess what?! most are based on awareness...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feldenkrais_Method
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_technique

very good and friendly thread on improving posture, I got these above methods from this...
http://ask.metafilter.com/144286/How-to-improve-my-posture
lot of people rooting for yoga too, again boils down to awareness..
Everything in life - Vivekanada book, J Krishnamurthy book,  even M's advise, Dad also, all pointing to more awareness! Its like "be aware" week/month or something!

BTW I got this one
http://www.perfectpostureuk.com/
Instead of craving for a back massage everyday and not actually getting one on the weekend, I decided to get rid of the root cause - slouch, probably keeping back straight will help? just awareness is not enough for me. I need some hooks and clips and straps to keep me straight.

Restlessness

I notice a restlessness in me.

It feels like there is lot more bandwidth in my head than what is required for the current task..
Listening to some audio book/chanting along with doing work.. split attention seems to solve this restlessness problem.

Am I just looking for something more meaningful/satisfying, I am always checking mail, replying immediately, chatting etc. Its like an addiction! I do manage to get work done in time !but it is not single minded concentration.

Feeling that it is slipping away. Fear and kind of panic of loosing what I am thinking and of things which I am reading, going away without making an impact. This is especially strong when I am reading something which really makes sense  and which I want to incorporate in my life.

 I have decided to make notes after reading such books. Fiction is ok, but when u read non fiction I want to make a summary of sorts of what I  learnt so that it stays in.

hmmm! This after knowing that brain making complete recording of every moment of waking/probably even sleeping life!  why cant I just trust my subconscious to take notes and make amends as required?