pciture abhi baaki hai

DG is a late riser and is definitely not a morning person. She woke up at 8 that day, Late! She was tired of running her life like a clock at the precision of minutes. To catch the train at 8 53, She has to take a bus at 8 30, the bus stand is about 600 mts from her house, so it takes about 6 minutes to walk there. She has to leave at 8 24, 8 23 is too early, She usually leave at 8 25 and runs and catches the bus just as it leaves...that day she decided -she will take it easy. no more minute hand stuff, lets go like the hour hand :P she took her time drinking tea, long warm bath, all set and time- 9:00!!!! oh shit! if she leaves at 8 30 she reaches by 9 20, if she leaves at 8 55 she reaches by 9 45 but If she leaves at 9 00 she reahes at 10 30..:-(
 Ok resigning to the fate that she will reach late that day, she walked slowly to the bus stand. Surprise surprise!! 9 00 bus was late and it came at 9 10! just as she walked to the bus stand...YE!! Great!!!...Lucky Day DG!
 But not really, the next train is at 9 23 and She will miss it anyway because the bus is late!! Duh!!
Hmmmmmm...Sigh!! She walked slowly to the train station. next train is at 9 53 anyway, she's got plenty of time to kill!! Surprise Surprise!! Train is pulling into the station just as she walks in!!! must really be her lucky day!!! What are the odds?! :-D :-} She felt really greatful to god and life and everything for her immense luck that day!
Really! some days we think that we are doomed but things fall into place so well and everything works out.. even if u try ur best to screw up things they fall into place and everything!!! Right?
Lekin -Kahani mein twist!
Everytime she gets into a train without buying a ticket before hand, its not a problem she can buy the ticket from the guard, or at the station when she gets off.. but .. today of all the days a really nasty old man was at the station and he had decided to fine every person who came on without tickets that day.. even tho they intended to buy tickets later! Nasty old man, fined the person in front of DG...
Somehow decided he was going to be nice to DG.Her lucky day no? :-)
Why din u buy ticket luv! ..Err The train came in just as I was getting to the station..
are u a Visitor to UK luv?   err yes...
Ok Ill let u go this time.. but..always buy tickets before.. ok?... Ok..
Luck still holding out !! yupieeee!!!
Lekin... :-)
.....how old are u luv... Err DG told the truth!!
Really?!? So  u are wokring in the uk then.. err yes...
No no no this is not Done!!. U SHOULD KNOW THAT U SHOUDLNT TRAVEL IN THE TRAINS WITHOUT TICKETS...I m gonna fine u 20 pounds!!
WHAT??!
:-) All is well that Ends well! no?

Next blog

Next blog link on blogger used to be fun!!! but somehow these days there seems to be huge infestation of baby and family blogs!! Grrr 8 out of 10 blogs that I get in next blog are such :-( always!
I want to read interesting stuff not look at baby pics and family pics :-( momma!!! please bring in Next interesting blog link! or make it more random please!!?

WTF just tried again 10 on 10 family blogs X-( Grrrr!!!
Argh!! It turns out its me who is seeding this kind of family blog thing!
http://www.google.com/support/forum/p/blogger/thread?tid=2004db7c63670d95&hl=en
some how google and blogger have decided that I am a boring family person and returning such blogs for me!! DAMN! I am offended!!!
haha some one like me - here...
For some reason I always seem to get the family blogs...you know the ones that share way too much information about their children and practically invite pedophiles to their homes. That and the gardening/puppet-making/knitting blogs. yup, Blogspot seems to have a pretty good handle on my interests. !
On mine too :P  LOL Atleast I am spared of religious blogs!! :-D
It must be UK, In bangalore I used to get chinese/Korean/greek blogs.. mostly interesting ones too.. atleast make up and stuff :P now.. :P yeah its not me, its the location :D 
May be I should signout and try! (BTW in parallel me getting paranoid thoughts about Google is really becoming Big brother and harassing me... It seems to record and connect everything.. and they are all hand in hand FB linked in Google... they all share info to give out recomendations...)

Didnt work!! Family blogs again!! Grr It must be the cache?? Ill try from work and see.. but I dont browse family stuff! X-(  Grrr....
Yes it is!! Just tried Next blog from IE! and .. Interesting blogs! 
recipe, dog blog, photography blog, Japan Trip blog! Oh wow awesome, Cartoonist blog(Japan but in English), Girl from Malaysia( not mum with baby pics!!)  Photography.. pretty funny ones.. Ill have to go back and read all of these.. pretty good... artist - painters 2 blogs..painting.. photography.. ok now it seems stuck on photography and painting blog... but still Interesting! 
How to tell blogger to NEVER EVER show me another family blog?  :) -1? or stopping Next blogging??
how how how?? Or threaten them that Ill leave Chrome switch to IE for this :D 
This seems to be a common complaint all across.. about soccer mum blogs!
There... somemore light on this phenomenon.. http://www.google.co.uk/support/forum/p/blogger/thread?tid=304aa00b889d548f&hl=en

Becasue the next blog feature had been more or less taken over by spam bloggers who somehow made their spam blogs appear every third or fourth hit and disabled the NavBar so you couoldn't click on, Blogger changed the algorhythm to, theoretically, lead you to blogs of a similar nature to the one you are clicking from. A good idea in theory, but somehow, in practice, it has led to this odd pehnomenon of certain types of blogs predominating. Hey, while my photoblog led to mostly art blogs,  my quilting blog led to a bunch of hip hop music blogs. Crazy!?!

X-men

Daily brushing teeth with a tooth brush, Chicken still stuck in between teeth, cant remove with brush or finger or tongue, so tooth pic and floss and everything. I wish with genetic engineering I could grow bristles on the sides of my tongue and a sharp tooth pic at the tip(retractable like cat claws), no need of brushing any more and so easy to get rid of all those annoying iky bits or what? as long as we are doing this, make mint flavoured saliva to go with it :-D no need of mouth wash :-D
X-men! here I come! :D 

JK says all our ambition, social life, hobbies,children,job etc is a distraction to get away from the feeling of loneliness and restless we feel with in. which we have to face but we dont dare. so we find ways to get away.
I wonder if things are exactly opposite! sprituality is an escape route for people who have failed in other things.
not satisfied with job, with family life, not talented enough, no passion... what do you do? find Ravi Shankar and mediate :-)
Is it expected to be a one all cure, like taking drugs or drinking? escape from worldly life.
my husband drinks and I meditate :-) is there a difference? are we really facing things or escaping things?
too lazy or not interested enough to enjoy the job, not daring enough to find a job which u will realy enjoy, Feel stuck, so u believe in some suitable philosophy which fits ur case and follow it?  u grind ur teeth and make urself like what ever u have? is that what is Spirituality?

or I m thinking If infact is it an escape route out of worldly life.... why not escape? what is wrong with escapes - If they are real escpae routes that is, if they are dead ends then its a problem. When u found an escape route shouldnt u run in full speed out of it? Shouldnt u persue it full time rather than like a hobby?

sacrifice

Two types of sacrifice -Sacrificing something else and self sacrifice.
sacrifice a goat or a chicken or a maiden or a pumpkin is fine. I dont have any issues with that.
but Self sacrifice.. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it..
Ive been hating it since a long time... when someone forces sacrifice on others/other things its easy to oppose and revolt against but this self sacrifice is such a keeda which u cant even oppose properly.
Its their wish really isnt it? why am I bothered? Grr It bothers me no end.
Others dont seem to be bothered by self sacrifice... (oh BTW I dont mean self sacrifice = killing oneself! Please!! Just small/big sacrifices people make for others)
This is seen as a good thing, as an altruistic thing, noble thing. people are touched.
People like self sacrificing people, they worship and adore them. I remember watching a movie in which some stupid woman was doing some stupid stunts- it was a 80's kannada movie.This lady's in laws were abusing her and she, to get her sister in law married.. was selling off her kidney? :D LOL no :D haha ! no.. it was morose thing like she was having a child even tho doc told her she will die if she has one.. make that she was having a "son" :P to make it more offensive..and I found it very regressive.
My friends sunny, suma kiran were shocked that I thought it was regressive, they were like if someone does something with their own will then its not regressive. My answer was what about Sati? :D people dont argue with me when I raise the pitch to Sati level :D  because then things get rabid :D

Earlier I used to feel that people behave in self sacrificing way because they are being manipulated into it, by society or by their own values or by others emotions.. or I thought people behave that way seeking adoration and approval Or I though even tho people are self sacrificing they have ulterior motives and agendas which will eventually serve them well. etc etc. All -ve :-) All these excuses made it easy for me to hate it.
but now I think thats not the case.. people do genuinely self sacrifice..
Is it an instinct or something? especially in mothers.. I mean it must have started off in mothers in mammals and then gene must have spread to others.. the altruistic gene.. Whatever, I still hate.

Is it because I am so self focused? I believe everyone should be. everyone should take care of themselves.. when someone does not, it upsets me. I somehow assume these people are expecting others to take care of them and that is dependence and that is wrong. but that also is my wrong assumption, some people just forget
about themselves and keep on slaving for others, especially women and especially for their children.

I also feel  sacrifices always leave a bad after taste and build resentment in people. This is the first good valid reason from my side. I have seen this in many people. Tho not about their children, Sacrifices done towards in laws, even parents, siblings leave behind resentment.

I think I m ok with one off sacrifices but sustained life long ones.. thats what I dont like. Sacrifice out of love is no longer a sacrifice? ??
marry a girl I dont like because parents like it
wont do MBA because I need money to  get my sister married
will not get married because my parents died and I will look after my siblings and If I get married my husband may not allow for this..
Will have a child even if it will casue me to  die( this Ive seen only in movies BTW :-p)  for some sick reasons and so on. Are all these people suffering from Hero Syndrome??
I feel in all such self sacrifice cases there is a win-win solution somewhere if people look for it, if people are just brave enough to find it? may be thats why I hate so much?
On the other hand, impromptu sacrifices like people jumping in to water to save someone but dieing.. trying to pull a girl out of train tracks and loosing leg.. I dont seem to hate.
Sacrificing people make me look bad? put pressure of me to behave that way when I donot want to??? not really... I take lot of pleasure in being opposite of that...
So, The reasons dont seem to justify the amount of dislike I have for this...

A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Always with the same person, but deeper and deeper every time....
someone wrote on facebook.


 I felt thats so tedious :-) should it be so hard? and so restrictive. our society is stupid with stupid rules for success and happniess.. we ticks all these boxes and pretend to be happy.

Arms like... :-)



Ooo So Sexy Michelle!
Ill be there - next 3 months !! :-)

5 tibetans

5 Tibetans is a set of 5 exersices, claimed to be of Tibetan origin rumoured to be the fountain of youth. Peter Kedler has written a Shangrila style story about them, about an old man telling him stories of discovery of the rites in hidden tibetan monestry and old man turning out ot be 200 year old etc...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Tibetan_Rites
you can learn to do them here.. http://lifeevents.org/5-tibetans-energy-rejuvenation-exercises.htm with nice graphic illustrations.
Doing these tibetan rites apparently stops aging and sometimes even reverse the effects of aging . Increase your life span etc etc.
Do I buy it? I think they are very very good exersices. people just add a touch of marketing to such things so that people take them up. Like Baba Ramdev, I really like it when he promises magic with every asana, motivates me to do it. But does it really work like that? may be not...
 When I first saw it I thought it was a crude form of Surya namaskara. and I judged Suryanamskara to be better physically. But now that I have been doing them for a few months...Its not just crude form of yoga. Its something else. I dono about the anti aginging effects of Tibetan rites but I know that they can make the energy flow in your body every high. They are not just physical exercises, they definitely manipulate the energy or prana in the body. I read a couple of places that it balances out excess prana in lower chakras by making them flow higher. I think It not just balances, it also activates the chakras especially the higher ones, throat, ajna, crown for sure. Pumping the neck is part of another pranayama that I know, which also pushes energy up from base chakra to the head( very intense ) Twirling is part of sufi tradition...I dono much else how it may work. I suspect these were part of non mainstream forgotten Indian traditions( which people call Vama or left handed?) like tantra etc ? There are many such practices here and there.. dono where they come from actually..
Did I find physical benefits? yes! I think I feel more energetic after doing this regularly. I think it does contribute to increased stamina and strength. proportionately much more for the time u spend on them. Would I recommend them? yes! definitely! must do! it is very high return on investment! Anti aging? my white hair havent turned black :D yet ? :D ( well white hair have turned black but because of hair dye tho :P) weight loss? err... there is, but I have been doing lot of other things as well, so cant say.

If you plan to do this, start off small may be 5-6, Its not physically impossible to do 21 on day one if u are reasonably fit. but when I did try 21 even tho it was after a few weeks of practice I couldnt take the intensity of energy in the body. It was too intense, I felt like I was hearing a pulsating jet engine in my ear. You may not believe in prana or energy, u will still feel excess energy as one of these headache, feeling faint,heavyness in the head,noise in the head, burning sensations or just plan unease and restlessness ( If you dont then well done !!u are an advanced being ;-) )
There are absolutely no issues if u start off small -6, stay on 6 for a week or two then bring it up to ten , stay on ten for a month or so.. or its upto you but take it slow. It takes less than 5 mins to do ten. I am at 11-13 now... 17 also is too much for me.
Also forget about breathing etc to begin with , u can add it later once u start remembering the 5 exercises.
Its recommended to be done twice a day, morning night but I am still doing it only once a day.

preserve or move on?

"Feeling that it is slipping away. Fear and kind of panic of loosing what I am thinking and of things which I am reading, going away without making an impact. "

I had/have this fear.

Jiddu K has a completely opposite take on this. He says mind should be fresh every single day, forget every thing u learnt, forget the traditions, forget the lessons. free the mind of old bondages, so that fresh things can come to us. he says once u start accumulating u start dieing! :-) Huh!?

Some what true.. this is what has happened in history with great cultures like India.. they did a lot of investigation, they did a lot of research, they found so to say everything - Yoga,Medicine,sprituality, everything. Then they decided that they are done. They decided they have perfected everything and they need to preserve everything as is, even the language. They found really innovative ways and rules so that people follow things as is and dont change a thing. result? Sanskrit is a dead language, we had a culture that was rotting with all kinds of sick traditions, Dogmas - Exactly like JK predicted -it died and rotted... same with Koran..

He says very nicely - life is like a river.. it is always flowing and changing and chnage is life, if you want to make it stagnant, want to preserve and keep safe, then u will only end up creating stinky ponds .

We know this, but still we want to preserve. we want summer to be here all the time and winter to not come. I know how happy spring made me just because winter was bad. I dont look at leafs sprouting now and feel happy .they are dime a dozen. I know all this but I want to preserve.

I want to preserve what I have read, I dont want it to flow away... but I am somewhat in sync with JK.. I want a back up but I want to move on as well.. thats why the blog, once I write it. I am free of carrying it with me in my head. once its written I can forget and move on to new things. but the desire to latch on to and hold on and preserve something which I think as perfect is still there... but there is no perfection is it? like a sunset or a rainbow everything is transient.. thats why it is beautiful, If the rainbow stayed there 24/7 we wouldnt really care for it... Ill learn.

But strangely for me this holding on to old is just as scary as letting go. when I see houses full of old things, someone had only cassette players, no CD player. It scared me. some people dont have internet at home. that scared me. I actually love antiques.. when I see very old houses and artifacts I love it.. but that stagnation , I am afraid of it. I may be stagnant in many ways too and I may not know it, that scares me. Some people talk about favourite movie - from 1990;s, songs from 90's I met a group of long lost friends once and I felt they were still there where I was in 1990 but I have moved on, jokes which I used to laugh at when I was 19...I like to do this in nostalgia mode but for them it was their NOW. I felt some what sad and scared. I dont want to be in that place. thats why I accepted google+ not that I want aother social networking site but I dont want to be left behind.. android phone.. I will buy it soon even tho I am perfectly happy with my aging nokia. JK wouldnt recommend being scared of stagnation tho he would say "notice! be aware" :D :P

Conditioning the mind and sticking to a pattern is useful to the mind but sometimes we suffer major loss due to these patterns.  J K asks us to watch out for patterns.
 Beggars are part of gangs, beggars gangs = mafia. so I will never give any money to any beggar. Thats a right pattern and a right decision. but this really hurt me.
Allahabad station, one sadhu came begging. I refused point blank. He calmly just moved on to the next person. After a while,sometime after the sadhu disappeared, I realised he was actually asking for food. he was not asking for money at all :-( I feel really bad about refusing that guy point blank like that. we went searching we had spare biscuits but we din find him...I m sorry :-(
Judging. long back probably just out of college. went to a movie, there was this guy who was trying to look too cool but looked pathetic(to me),short guy,oiled hair, cheap goggles, flashy shirt, color baniyan and all... I din like him! made fun of him while getting out of the theater but I realised he was just ahead of me .. i dono if he heard me or not.. he went out of the theatre and got on to an old  cycle and left .. :-( . he must have put in lot of effort and money into dressing up and coming to the movie hoping to look good and people to like. If he heard my comments he would have felt really sad :-( I feel really bad about this. I m sorry.
I may have hurt 1000's of people and been insensitive/rude etc etc with out any guilt (  no guilt even after realising and sometimes rude intentionally) but why some incidents hurt more than others? I dono.