santa banta

A story by Antony Demello.
2 zen masters - Santa n Banta were friends. Santa was a poor man and Banta was the Zen master at the Kings court. Poor Santa always ate daal roti(lentils) , Banta ate chicken every day.
Banta tells Santa - You know, If you learnt to praise the king a little, you wont have to eat dal roti everyday like this,  you can also eat chicken like me.
Banta says - Psst! You know,If you learnt to like dal roti, you wont have to praise the king any more!!! :-) :-) :-)

This stuck a chord with me.. make contacts - talk to people, keep connections with "important" people.
May be you cant not praise the king and expect to eat chicken :)
I make the choice consciously - I'll like my dal roti thank u very much!

relax now

was thinking - I need a vacation to unwind, I am feeling so tired, so stressed, ah when will the weekend come? need the weekend to relax and unwind myself. Then I remembered this weekend I wont have free time, shifting karni hai! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!  Also how many vacations I have taken, as soon as vacation is over, the state is worse than before going to vacation. It takes a long time to stabilize after vacation. No unwinding happens after vacation...
The solution..
Gyan (seriously its not mine, it comes to me from some place else :-p) Relax, destress, unwind should happen at the current moment, learn to relax now, find the peace now, find the calm/silence now - in this moment, on the go...

my posts

I keep reading my blog.. a lot
I noticed, there are three kinds of posts
1) loving/compassionate heart felt posts - like everything has an after glow and warmth.
2) objective head posts - like pseudo science and analytical posts - very neutral, even if something nice/bad is said in these, they are mostly emotionless. I like these two, I enjoy them
3) hate filled posts/angry ... hmmm..
(mostly about the past and they are slowly resolving - anger about vegetarians is resolved, feminist anger is almost resolved, except in some cases, new angers are coming actually

The same person is writing them. How come? A person wise enough to write beautiful posts is stupid enough to indulge in hatred and anger? One day writing beautiful things about river and light shining on water and love and next day about effing america and all...

Aisa hi hota hai. To be human is like this only.

Benevolent sexism

http://www.prevention.com/health/emotional-health/both-women-and-men-display-attitudes-benevolent-sexism

I m proud to say that I m one of the very few people I know who are aware of this kind of sexism ( even tho I didnt know what it was called) and that it was damaging.
I find not only men but girls mostly are benevolently sexists.
This girl made this statement - we women are soooo lucky, we dont have the pressure to take up a job, men have to take a job and support their family. Err I can punch you and break your nose?
My brother is sooo caring and protective, He never lets me go out alone.
My uncle saying women of my family dont travel alone. ( What a row I created then! hahaha :-) being slightly socially dim is kind of nice at times )
Raksha bandhan - When a girl says protect me, clearly seeing herself as weak.
"Mom, You are getting old and You work too hard.! You should rest.. so (offcourse I wont help you but ... ) I will get married and get you a Daughter in law to do the work! :-D "
Sacrificing mother stereo type - Sacrificial goat is also worshipped, so is the mother. Nobody demands a mother to sacrifice for the family, but Its a subtle teaching passed on from mother to daughter, who believes that it is the best for her daughter.
Even in reasonably rich times like today, Do you know who eats the burnt pooris, rice sticking to the bottom of the pot, yesterdays palya?  my mum and yours. and do you argue they are happy doing it, so should continue? then you must also believe that terrorist who die in blast go to heaven and meet 40 virgins. :-P

There is a thin line between caring and benevolent sexism, When we make a case for benevolent sexism- people go to the other extreme. they say  I will punch a woman, but excuse me- punching anyone man woman child dog cat is all wrong no?
People dont give up seats to women on buses which is fine, but they dont give up seats to pregnant women or old women (or old men ) and blame it on feminists :) LOL!
Helping a woman carry her heavy bags up the stairs is not benevolent sexism! yeah may be women sometimes over compensate and refuse all help - that is kind of stupid. me is guilty of that.

Offcourse, There are many women who use benevolent sexism to their advantage. The clever women who get men to do their bidding, but then thats another story.