unconscious racist

When we were youngsters, Having a boy friend/girl friend was considered a bad thing. There were lot of rumors/talks about She( yeah always She) has a boy friend, used derogatorily to tarnish someones' image. I was filled with strong self righteous values about not gossiping, Lol! yeah I didn't have any friends! so?  :-P So I refused to accept any such rumor, No they are just friends they are not going out together. I don't accept your silly gossip and rumors.
The question is, Am I better person than them?
Definitely, for not gossiping and for not wanting to talk "bad" about others, yes!
but No in another way. There is a subtle aspect to this. Look at the "bad" part of it. I deny that she is dating - she is not dating so she is good, if she was indeed dating she is bad.  I am still stuck in their same belief system, that dating is bad like the other gossiping losers.
The completely better person would have the argued, She may be or may be not dating, - so what?

I find the same happening with identity politics. Serena Williams caricature, She being black and a woman, most people are finding it really racist and sexist. I didn't find it either.
However  I cringe and I cringe and I cringe when people, even black people are calling that portrayal, sub human beastly and all that. Caricature exaggerates certain characteristics of the person. So if someone exaggerates black specific characteristics like full lips or curly hair  and to you it started looking sub human?  Who is racist here??
Tho There is history to it, I understand.

World is clever and changing

When I ( we also - the media and such )  look at trends, dangerous/annoying/stupid trends, We assume that this trend will go on for ever, we draw conclusions about what will happen if this trend continues indefinitely. And these conclusion turn out to be dire.  The graph of such trends tends to end with end of the world ;-) SCARY!!!! We make noise on the social media, media makes noise bla bla. I am not saying we should not do this... but I have started noticing that..
Even tho we assume that the  world is stupid, world is in fact clever and sentient and it learns it adapts
so trends don't continue on to their(our!?) destruction, but they stop.
(may be this can be attributed to all that shouting we did in the above paragraph. so it may be necessary to draw dire conclusions and shout anyway)

Last few years I notice the world adapting and giving up trending and learning.
First its a small group of outcasts making a noise and pointing out that something is not right, there is lot of ignoring, then opposition then with in a year or two, it actually becomes fashionable and mainstream! ,
the dire consequences predicted by the small group never come about because people learnt and people changed! Phew! Thank god!!
Few examples - are gender based kids toys - market segmentation tactics
use of social media - people have become smarter, I dont see the same type of posts any more
gender equality
Most pleasing is the plastic usage

I wrote a blog about my aunts niece doing computer science to get married, that is also an example.

Hinduism gyan

There are two aspects of Hinduism.
Just like there are apple users and apple developers , there are Hindu users and Hindu developers
The day to day people who follow rules and worship in temples - users. Just follow the rules.
Yoga and Tantra - the science which tells how to control the mind and how to design the religion which the other people are using - Tantra - the developers/architects and designers. Understand.
This is why there seems to be such a big gulf in the two aspects, Yoga is the programmer and day to day Hinduism is user.

attraction to assholes and submissiveness

The Top Two in my hate list :)
When other women behave like this, I just blow my top. I cant believe how some(lot of ?X-( ) women find assholeness totally sexy. Aggressive, brash, insulting, patronising - this is the popular kind of hero in movies,novels, series and women just seem to lap it up. Fifty shades of Puke anyone! Its not just in fiction, even in real life, lot of girls seem to think this is ideal. Why else would they lap up that crap ( hehe! I admitted my hate okay! :-P )
Ever wonder why? It comes down to evolution and survival again ( Ok, I am skipping all the "I thinks" and peddling my pseudo science confidently! people! I am watching Brooklyn 99 and I am inspired by Gina!) 
What kind of person is the Top guy in any company, the Alpha? The top dog? - Ass hole. The aggressive seems to be a successful personality type, especially in the old cave man person days, Violent aggressive abusive man who beat up people had a higher odds of survival and making a living than a Mr nice guy, right? When a man is violent and bad to a woman, she decided that he is even worse to others so has higher survival rate? Is that why all those stupid women are attracted to jerks and assholes?
This is why it becomes so important to be self reliant and earning woman, would change their whole outlook and psyche and make them go for the nice guy! Yeah this may not be cutting edge science but you know this effort goes towards trying to understand people and all that.
Submissiveness - I watched this movie about makers of Wonder Woman. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women. It is about the really unconventional and controversial life of the writer of wonder woman and the women in his life. Professor Martson, his wife and girl friend are clearly all feminists and very strong and intelligent people, leading a very controversial life in that day and age. They were obviously very courageous as well. Well, inspite of all that, What struck me in this movie was how one of the women, the girl friend, the wonder woman liked to be submissive. When the wife is as outraged as I was about How she or anyone could like being humiliated, the organiser says This is what she is - a submissive. Okay, I do not understand the BDSM concept at all. But it made me think. Is it possible that some people are wired to be submissive ( in normal day to day life non kinky way) and it is not an indication of subpar intelligence or lack of courage or confidence( am I pushing it with confidence?) Just like expecting gay people to be straight is wrong, Is it wrong to expected these people to be non submissive? Should I rethink the number two on my hate list as well? 
Not yet taking these off my hate list, but trying to keep an open mind.

normal distribution 2

It is very satisfying when the theories I thought about are kind of confirmed by science(? haha not sure that happened, anyway it was mentioned in Sam Harris podcast, and if you want citation and all that nonsense you know what u can do to yourself :D :-P ) The normal distribution ( for any characteristic ) difference between men and women, How I think women fall more into the average , where as men are spread out across the spectrum, I also think the average for men is usually lower than women. You can read all about it here. Basically how someone else put it is - mens distribution have fatter tails.
Interestingly I didn't read into the implications of this as much as they have, they used it to justify why there are less women top scientists. For example - discounting the gender stereotyping, prejudice and everything else, this can also be explained to an extent by the normal distribution. There are less nobel prize winning women because, even tho there may be more brilliant women, than men in this world, there are more brightest men than brightest women. There are more men in 99.9th percentile? and These win the Nobels? Don't know if this is proven, but it seems a logical hypothesis which can be pondered about.
Also now that I think about this, does this also explain why 98% of prisoners i.e criminals are men? We know that ( at least my theory is that ) mens distribution has a fatter tail at the bottom end than the top end, and also we know that prisons are keeping the worst of the worst - the worst percentile of people? bingo more men :-)  I know there are other explanations like testosterone and increased aggression in general in men etc. however this is a good fit for the fat tail phenomenon :-) What else can be explained by this?