There is a physical gender - The body the genitals. Can be male, female , some times unclear.
There is the genetic gender XX female XY male, very interestingly, there is only one gene on the Y chromosome which makes the body male, XY body with that gene supressed produces a female body - probably infertile but never the less a female body. Then there are XXX and XXY chromosomes. Which may lead to different physical genders. Different genetic genders map to the 3 physical genders roughly.
People with unclear physical gender were called Trans.
Then there is sexuality. Which gender a person is attracted to. Traditionally you are supposed to be attracted to different physical gender gender. Where does that put people with unclear gender? That issue is kind of swept under the blanket.
People who are attracted to different gender are called straight, to same gender are called gay, to both are called bi , attracted to none are called asexual. You can be any physical gender and you can be any sexuality.
Then there is mental gender, which is unique from the physical gender . Most people have the same mental gender as their physical gender, but you may have opposite. For some people, even tho physical gender is unclear, they may strongly identify with one physical gender. For some others, even tho physical gender is very clear, mentally they may be non binary, feel like one gender at certain times and another at other, or not feel like any particular gender at all.
You can have any combination of mental gender physical gender and sexuality. Tho majority are same mental gender as physical gender and straight. The others are where it gets interesting and give us some insight into what gender is.
Is it a social construct or a biological construct? Is it a scale? Or is it binary. Like can someone feel like 50% woman, some one 100% woman ? does scale apply only to mental gender? I find mental gender the most interesting , even sexuality is interesting as it is not obvious what causes it. Again is it nature or nurture? Is it hormones? How brain was formed at birth? Is it the hormones exposed to in the womb? Is it how you were brought up?
I got a few answers from The Gene: An Intimate History by Siddhartha Mukherjee.
There is evidence to show that male gayness may be genetic , inherited from the mothers side, it may be a gene/s on the X chromosome. Tho having the gene doesnot necessarily always make a man gay, they have not identified a single gay gene.
They identified that mental gender is not determined by the society but it is hardcoded. For example kids with unclear genitals were brought up say as a girl, but if their mental gender was boy, they were very disturbed by it. They were very clear that they were a boy and not a girl. The behavious associated with a girl/boy may be dictated by the society, but whether u feel like a male or female is hard coded - I am not sure if this is a product of physical body or if it is just some construct in the brain.
The book said the gender identity in the brain expected some hormones to exist in the body and became agitated( !! uncomfortable) if these were not present. It was found that transgender people felt some comfort or relief when they received hormone theraphy. It seemed as if the gender identity in the mind was satisfied when those hormones were found in the body. ( Ok I m using words like agitated and satisfied as if our brain were a person, I m anthropomorphising so I can understand it easily ) So it is not all in the mind.
I used to wonder why Trans people go to such lenghts to change the gender of their body, especially in the past when it was so risky you could lose your life ( The Danish Girl) , This may explain the compulsion.
Interestingly Yoga or Philosophy has another take on gender, It says its just another label, like nationality, self. so people who are enlightened lose the feeling of their gender. They dont feel like either man or woman. They just are. Soul after all is genderless. It is said that Buddhist monks and nuns who are deeply into meditation are in this state they dont identify with gender.
Non binary - I find this very fascinating. This is similar to the genderless state of the monks - cultivated by the development of the mind by constant meditation. It means that the feeling of feeling like a man and like a woman is different and some one who is gender fluid experiences both!?
I have always thought gender is something reinforced from outside. I never thought there is a feeling from inside like this. I wonder if I feel it?
Still inspite of all this , when I read about accounts of non binary or about myself. Its still not clear what gender is to me.
Dress wise, behaviour wise, I know I am most comfortable staying somewhat close to gender neutral but not quite. I wouldnt think of myself as non binary at all. As an experiment I imagined myself with long flowing locks and it is uncomfortable. But I am conformtable with long locks braided up ( ala Lara Croft :-P ) . I m comfortable in a cute dress, a skirt ( female enough) but not in a saree . I m not comfortable in make up. Is this all about how it lines up with my mental image? Why is my mental image like this? Is this function of my taste or a function of the hormones in my body or how my brain is wired or what?!
It seems like I am ok with gender but not with sexual maturity.
It is an interesting question to ponder.
