some people feel like that, I ... I feel like this.
At the core of my being I think I am a 12 year old boy :-) with a runny nose and close cropped round head and black nails and streaked face short and skinny for my age :D with big khakhi chaddi and shirt with a lost button and a missing tooth. Looks like I am a poor village boy from 1970s or 80s :-)
I love insects and bugs and puss and wounds :D and jumping and climbing and experiments. I love to catch crabs or explore the bhoot bangla or the jungle behind the school. I like mud. I like frogs. I do my homework with my tongue sticking out under dim yellow bulb sitting on the floor with my desk :-)
At the core of being am I a 10 year old girl. a tomboy with 2 pigtails with faded red ribbon, a longish handed down pinnafore skirt and a shirt with button missing, at the core of my being am I always a poor kid :-DI dont have runny nose or missing teeth but I think I have lies in my hair, I keep scratching my head. I love to catch the lies and squish them between my nails :D I like lotus and small grass flowers, I spend hours on the way back from school looking at grass and ants and insects and spider webs. I look at tree hollow and imagine houses of pigeons and squirrels. I look at the lake and imagine a underwater world, my friends are the girls who stay in huge shells at the bottom of the lake who turn into fish or into girls. Unlike the boy who is bubbly and outgoing, I am quite and contemplative and sensitive, I smell tiny flowers, I make friends with mice and rats and spiders and grass hoppers and butterflies. I let catterpillers crawl on my hands and kiss them and dont expect them to turn into princes . I talk to plants and they talk back. I climb to the top of the trees untill I am out of the canopy and I can see very very far, I imagine a vast wonderful kingdom of the lion king. and I imagine I am the king of the monkeys( - see I can be both king or queen prince or princess it doesnot matter. ) monkeys of this tree, I hear a monkey screech and I am scared, I run home real fast - I am scared of the monkey teeth. Amma at home gives me hot dosa to eat with ghee, I sit on the floor and eat that dosa on a steel plate, amma is making that dosa on a fire - I think we are poor and in 1970s :-)
At the core of my being I may be a 80 year old lady, always a 80 lady and never a 80 year old man :D or may be 100 year old witch with potions and spells and healing and stories, not poor any more, not even in the 80s, somewhere in the west or in the Himalayas, with western clothes and in a western stone villa :-) This old lady definitely lives inside Studio Ghilbli animations :-)
Actually at the core of my being I could be a 80 year old man, bald head and robes, skinny to the bone, with wise twinkly eyes may be white beard may be clean shaven, may be a sitting cross legged on a magic carpet and flying overs desserts and mountains over China and Russia and Afghanistan :-)
