If I dont feel it , it must be false

If I dont feel it, it is false and untrue or a pretence or if at all true then it is stupid.
Other peoples feelings are not valid. :-)
This is how it is - for me and for others.

We find it very hard to believe what we havent experienced, naturally I would think. Blind people find it really difficult to believe in light? Colour blind in red and green?

One very strange thing.For some people cucumber tastes really bitter, Strong bitter taste and a very bad smell!! even if a piece of cucumber is in a dish they cant eat the whole dish!!! Its not like they can take away cucumber and eat the rest. :-) The same innocent cucumber which almost tasteless smellless mild and harmless to most of us
When the first person told me he hates cucumber, I just thought he was a fussy  eater who hates vegetables.  Second the same, I rolled my eyes, British people!! Their parents didnt give them veggies when kids!!  Then when one very sensible absolutely non fussy (non British) guy said he hates cucumber - Ah! Then I realised it must not be just fussyness . I asked and googled and found - It could be a special gene which makes these people taste a compound which is tasteless to most of us.  Its completly different perception!
This is a very concrete example, There are many subtle things, each of our drivers are different, so we feel subtle mental carrots and sticks when we do different things, The intensity of these is very different for you and me.
For example, I am a rebel. I can do things which are opposite to what others are doing and its fine. My subconscious does not punish me with any stick(painful) sensations for this. But for another person, As soon as they do something different from others, their breath may be getting shallow, heart rate rising and subtle emotional pain sensations may be generated in their heart region. ( I actually have a post about brain scans of conformists and non conformists) So the point is - taking pride in being brave or being a non conformist is totally pointless. Its because of your genetic makeup or upbringing that we are that way?

Ok - Why this came up?
1) When someone says I feel so much compassion for beggars for example, my mind says - pretense. But in fact they are kinder than me, and I dont like that?

2) because all these women were doing their usual sexist husband worship shit and it got my goat. Many of them are smart intelligent women making up weird excuses for their behaviour  But if they conformist they are just not capable of defying the customs? may be?

3) People find it impossible to accept asexuality, they can believe gay and lesbians, but they cannot believe that some one is not driven by sex. Lot of  people think its a disease or pretence. 

stardust fairy tale

Fairy tales are sexist, I realise I m not just annoyed about how they treat girls - like helpless things being rescued all the time by some prince. But guys as well, They dont have much choice. Some girl asks this guy to get a fallen star to prove his love and off he goes! Arrgh! Really? you are going to go get that star and not ask her to fuck off? Grrr! :-)
I really enjoyed listening to the tale, but being an equalist ( not feminist! I am an equalist) it annoyed the hell out of me at times.

cancer of earth?

Cancer cells are those cells in our body which have mutated DNA so they dont know when to stop reproducing and they dont know when to die.  It starts with one mutated cell, which then reproduces and causes a tumor, then some cells escape from the tumour and go and land in a new organ and start sprouting and causing new tumours.

 On hearing this - the first thought that came to me was - Earth has cancer. Humans dont know when to stop reproducing and we dont know when to die!  We are growing like crazy , exponential population growth and We are aiming for immortality,  and very close to a point, where we wont be able to die( with genetics and robotics solutions)

 Grim and horrible thought -  Humans are not like viruses like famously said in Matrix, humans are like cancer.

ps: Am I getting morbid? 

copying

one lesson I learnt from kids!
2 kids did this. They have no clue how to do something but they are in their "independent and want to do things by themselves" stage of life, right?    being small and having spent only a few years on earth - they have absolutely no idea how to. but these kids they refuse to let you teach.
This gave me an epiphany, There is no shame in learning by copying, this is the only way for the beginner. You cannot figure out everything by ourselves. Phew!  I dont draw and paint a lot because of exactly this reason, I dont want to copy but have no great ideas!! There! that is the point at which the epiphany happens, How can I get good ideas before I learn, and how do I learn if not by copying?  you copy, you learn the basics and you do the rote thing, Then - creativity will happen.  I trying to do original art is exactly like the kids trying to make a kite - both have no idea how and are stupid to not copy.

Classical arts follow this principle very strictly, you are not allowed creativity until you learn the prescribed syllabus. This seemed very restrictive to me, but now I see the point in this. Unless you are an absolute genius freak who has hardcoded knowledge, this is the way to go. 

Being human

Patents, Science and Nobel prize  You have the brains,  you love inventing, you love creating, you love exploring but thats not enough, you want a patent you want money, you want to invent faster than others, you keep secrets, you guard your information, its a rat race. you want the credit, you want fame,  you are standing on the shoulders of giants but you want the Nobel all for yourself. Scientist - You are so so smart, you are a genius, Why are u so human? Why are you so full of suffering?

Super Rich saving tax, You have billions, you have palaces, mansions, islands, yatches, you 4% have more than 96% of humanity, you own everything , you still want to save millions , you dont want to share that little bit so the government can build hospitals, roads and schools? Why are still u so human? Why are u so full of suffering and grasping and insecurity?

We are at the top of the food chain, we are so developed we dont need to worry about our next meal or about living the next day, still why is our condition so tragic and so sad? Why are we still so human? So in the grip of the mind and ego?

To continue 

The book I am reading - Scientists are working on Human gene sequencing, then they hear a "devastating news" a private company announces they have almost completed the sequencing. What is wrong with this? This is what is wrong with our entire culture.
I am trying to find my purse, my mother finds it, Am I devastated? No.
I am trying to find cure for cancer, someone else finds it.. I am devastated. Sadly yes! But what if I myself had cancer? Would I be devastated then, that someone found the cure before me?? No, Then why dont I feel the same way about the rest of the world where so many people have cancer?
If I was in the place of the gene sequencing scientist I would be equally devastated true. - No one likes someone who solves crossword puzzles for you, as the book says aptly.
Something I read in Altruism book comes to mind - how do u know if you are truly altruistic? (  and not doing good things to satisfy the ego? )  If someone else did what good you are trying to do, you would feel happy not irritated. Ideally in true scientific spirit, I would feel happy if someone - anyone - me or other found the solution. But we are too human to be like this - yet. The compensation, the money, the fame - false wealth . The potential benefit of reducing suffering true wealth.
Me too being too human when I lament some scientists not getting credit, they only lost out on false wealth right?

We are too human so see beyond out prejudices
https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/09/viking-warrior-woman-archaeology-spd/
They found this skeleton long ago, Viking woman - high ranking Viking women, but none of the scientist thought that women ranked high in Viking society, so no one recognised this as female. They didn't guess it because -mental blocks!! Hmm How much of our history and archaeology is distorted because of our mental blocks? because white people thought brown people and black people were savages? because they thought subconsciously earth is only 6000 years old.. because God exists or because God doesn't exist etc etc etc?