Marie Kondo Takeaways

It helps hone our instincts , think with feelings rather than with logic.

Gives us confidence to choose what we love and the courage to let go of things which are no longer serving us. I think this will change our lives, if we get it right

Respect for all belongings, for the home, for our things etc

Letting go of insecurity of losing something, it will give us confidence to think that we will be able to make do if we dont have something or will be able to deal with it buy arranging for a new one

 

Hoysala lion and Chinese lion

There was a restaurant near my house Caribbean restaurant , with guardian lions at the front door! 🙄  so I though ah! it must have been an Indian restaurant! No!  Thai restaurant or Chinese actually. Chinese restaurants have that lion in front of them.. not Indian .... 

but I couldn't shake of that feeling - Karanataka, Indian... then it came to me - the Hoysala Lion!! Its different but still similar...  In my mind Hoysala lion was sitting on its haunches.  

and then Ugra Narasimha ... Different but similar slightly

Sati

Sati is a word used to depict a pious wife, synonym of pativrata. one who obeys her husband unconditionally, Her life is devoted to her husband, She does not have an existence without her husband so when husband dies she enters the funeral pyre with his body.
They say the act of jumping into fire after the husbands body is called Sati after the goddess Sati.

Sati is an incarnation of Parvati,You can read her story here
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sati_(Hindu_goddess)

 What I find ironic and funny ( like so many things in our mythology) is this Sati is a very strong willed and independent woman. First she does not listen to her father and marries this Shiva against her father's wish. Then she does not listen to her husband and comes and visits her father's yagnya.  and When her father does not listen to her, she is so stubborn that she jumps into the Yagnya fire.  NOT her husbands funeral fire .  She is the total opposite of that subservient, obedient Sati women :-) 

I couldn't possibly feel worse than u?

There are so many sad things happening around us, George Floyd was killed for being black, Pregnant elephant was fed explosives, Migrant workers walked hundreds of kilo meters to reach home during lock down. It made us all very sad. We have empathy, we feel bad for others , we want to help.

In such situations One thing I want to remember  -  I will not let myself feel more sad, more depressed, more angry than the people actually going thru that.  I will not make this about me - about how sad this has made "me" feel. This shouldn't stop me from taking action or doing something about it. 

I dont know, the point I am trying to make is subtle, May be I suspect that this is some kind of indulgence? 

Do we somethings use this empathy to feel good about ourselves, as an ego boost, to make us feel like ah I am a kind person, I am good person? 

When the migrants walked 100s of kilometers. It seemed heart wrenching to me but they were smiling and walking. Is my wallowing in sadness about this, kind of self indulgent? or Not? I dont know. 

Is calling this pain self indulgent and refusing to engage my coping mechanism ? I dont know.

I was hurt a small cut but bleeding, one girl who saw that felt so bad for it. Silly girl I thought,  but then someone told me they ripped their toe nail ( yeah I didnt even see it happen) and Oh my god! the feeling is no less than nails on the black board, I felt this shudder go thru me. So empathy and feeling pain imagining others in natural to a social animal like us.

But ... I will not let myself feel worse than u. ( I feel this is somehow respectful of your suffering ) 

fear of mistakes

I find it easier to learn things when I am on project, The list of required learning for the project is easier to learn than when I pick on my own
I don't like to do projects on my own
I don't like to take responsibility on my own, I am diligent and responsible when I am given responsibility.
Light bulb moment!!!! I realised why! This is because  I am afraid to take decisions.  I don't want to make mistakes. I don't trust my judgement.  I don't trust my judgement about if it was right to take responsibility or not, whether I chose the right course to learn or not, Whether I choose the right job or not. So its easier to drift
If I choose to learn something, then I don't seem to respect my decision enough, I second guess it. what if I have made a mistake, what if I have made a mistake!  and this causes unpleasant feelings and I don't like the whole process and am put off making decisions.

Now that I am aware of this, This should happen less and less often!

This seems to apply only to work/official things, I am completely opposite in my spare time learning,  I am excited about something and I jump towards it. I explore and don't second guess about what I have decided!  Even when I took big decisions like taking months off to do yoga ttc.
Hmmmm but I did find similar problem when I decided to pursue drawing/painting bit more seriously. Spent a lot of time deciding which medium and then which picture to paint and would stop doing things for the fear of making mistakes!
Wonder under what particular cases this Fixed mindset fear or mistakes strikes!?

Should architecture students study Vaastu and Feng Shui?
Is it inherent racism which is preventing us from seeing the wisdom in sciences of ancient cultures?  Belief that old cultures are inferior to western thought?
When yogasana and Ayurveda have proved to be more holistic approach to western exercise  and medicine and mindfulness and mediation have brought in a while new level to western psychology and . Its time to look at other ancient arts. 
BTW Who invented the  principles of western design and architecture? Who is defining the idea of beauty today? 

Corona virus perspective 2

Its not even been a month and Oh Shit!  How I wish I was right about Corona not being such a big deal! Last month when I did the numbers to get a perspective on Corona virus, it looked harmless, 7000 deaths world wide.  It was spreading but only other 2 countries had let it happen and they had a death toll of 1000 each may be. I thought that would be the peak of it. 1% mortality... but
How things have changed!!! Its not even been a month. 1% mortality may be but how I under estimated its Contagiousness !
 The graph below is the damage done in just one month while the other numbers are for the year.
If we project the corona numbers for the year and compare! It is beating heart disease and coming close to accidents!  Not that it will last the whole year and kill at the same rate! I hope not! That is just to make the comparison fair and give me an idea of the kind of damage this is doing.  (Also this is completely wrong as an estimate, as I am calculating linear growth while corona is growing exponentially )

Corona in perspective

 

Edit: I think one year of pandemic has given a very good perspective on Corona! How I had under- estimated Corona at the begining of the pandemic. Only 1% fatalities!  I thought! Did not think of its ability of mutate and its super spreading ability. They said its like flu!  It is NOT like flu. Flu probably has very less fatality, may be 0.1%? I  Bow to the king of pandemics! In perspective, Corona deserves more respect than what the Govts did not less!  

Latest Image for comparision with other pandemics, It is dwarfed by the other ones. Wonder how the infograhic would look if we adjust it to technological advances in medicine and vaccine (  Ah but Then we will also have to adjust it to percentage of population, so it would probably be in similar position. Also in those days who would be frail enough to fall prey for corona and not killed by some other ailment? Its hard to adjust a modern pademic to historic periods. ) 

All the world govts are taking a lot of action on Corona Virus. This kind of prevention is unprecedented. Work from home, isolation,closing down of schools etc. It is wonderful.  There is a lot of panic and fear and hysteria as well.
I wanted to get my head around the actual danger of Corona virus and how it compares with other causes of death. Kind of get some perspective on the subject... Hmmm!

Why are we sooo worried about Corona again? Isnt it insane?! Look at heart disease numbers in USA alone. Shouldnt we be acting with same kind of urgency and passions about Global warming and plastic pollution?? and about eating good food, about sustainable life style??
Plastic bags were banned from the super markets over a span of 2 years. Recycling was introduced over 4 years?
Reducing fossil fuel over 20 years.
However instant action on Corona.
Compare corona numbers with Animal cruelty - 800,000 cows slaughtered per day! every day!!! every day!!!!

Ok Ok I get it Corona is contagious! Heart disease is not, Road accidents are not. Also its the spike thats the problem, the number of people dying is a lot per day?  ( In western world may be, in India 350 people dying per day would be nothing?!)

Still!  I conclude Human mind is irrational. Even the collective global mind.


More perspective, How it compares with Births(in a year) ? :-)
What do u think? Should we be worried about Corona virus or Over population? ;-)

How it compares to older pandemics, It is still mild, It is not half as bad as swine flu which killed 200,000 people just 10 years ago. And Aids!!

Thanks for coming into my life Coco, green eyed chocolate dog.  Will miss you. 

Kannada Gotilla

I have always found that people from North India are rarely able to learn Kannada, I thought it was an attitude problem, Now I wonder if it is ability problem. 
I recently learnt that Kannada is a dravidian language, when I was a child it was believed Kannada was related to Sanskrit as it has many Sanskrit words. I have learnt Kannada - Dravidian language and Konkani -Indo European as a child.  Similarly most people in Bangalore learnt Hindi and Kannada and are exposed to variety of languages as a child. I wonder if knowing one Dravidian and one Indo European language makes it easier to learn all Indian languages. You cannot beat Bangaloreans in knowing multiple languages!!!

North Indians on the other hand learn only Hindi, so it makes it hard for them to learn other languages ? Tamilians who also dont seem to learn other languages also learn only Tamil ( Not really!  Tamil and English which is Dravidian and Indo Eurpoean Hmmm!  May be they do have attitude problem )

What can "I" Do about it

Chant this mantra again and again when blame comes into your head
What can I do about it. Solution will come. 
Someone didnt give me negative feedback. How can I make ppl give me negative feedback?
Someone is not replying correctly when I ask questions? How can I get correct answer? Ask someone else, ask again, search internet etc

This is completely different from taking the blame on ourselves for everything, It may be same as taking responsibility for everything but not Blame.
 

K drama high

The giddy feeling you get on finishing a K drama and your heart is still in the K drama universe of idealistic fantasy and feet are floating just above the earth  :) 

Step goal

When I fail at something ,
My instinct is to immediately make my goal smaller. Ah I am not good at "This", I am not good enough for "This" nice/Big/Risky/Ambitious goal, I have to settle for "That" easier/less riskier/blander option instead. Fixed mindset! I am ashamed, I dont want to look like I am failing, so chose an easier option and pass instead  ( At this point, I want to rant about how irritating and wrong this is and how I am a self sabotaging B etc, but all that is again coming from Fixed mindset, so I wont, even tho I kinda did :-P )

Instead - I add a step goal, which is the easier/less riskier/blander option , but This is the interim goal, This is only a step towards reaching my Original goal  Growth Mindset! I am not ready for This Yet!  I am not embarrassed to Aim high! I am not settling, I am learning and growing and not flinching from Hard work and many tries and failures and many more steps than expected may be!  

hobby classes

Hobbies seem to be a childhood thing.  100% of the kids these days are sent to classes, 2-3 sports, 1-2 art. Total of 5 classes a week. Also these classes change with age, so an average middleclass kid would have taken classes for Tennis, Football, Swimming, Skiing, Classical Music , instruments , Painting , Drawing , Martial Arts , Drama, Dance, etc. In the US of A the collages also ask the kids what all extra curricular activities they have done.

I find that even tho the kids do all this, Adults dont seem to have many hobbies. It is very rare to see an adult with even one hobby. Also many of these adults had hobbies until they got into a job, even those from the generation which didnt go to classes "I used to paint in school, I used to write poetry when I was in college, short stories.. " yeah... Does life take over..? Is it they got to busy... or its just the interests changed?

So going back, What is the purpose of all those classes and trainings ? Why put ur kid thru all this when You yourself doesnot do any of it as an adult?  Is it an exploration to find the right hobby? what the kid really likes? Is it possible that this generation which had so many trainings will  continue with them as adult? Or Is it infact the expectation - that they will stop this as an adult?These are things u do as a child to pass time, to have fun  to help with other grown up things later? Like play in animals helps them hunt when they grow up. Is it just a trend and peer pressure and FOMO thing which doesn't have any inherent reason?

Exceptions are : Sports among men seems to be the most sticky, some men do play the sports they learnt (formally informally as a kid)
Singing among women
Reading - but that does not need training
Baking / Gardening - common hobbies but this is not what they learnt when they were a kid.
Photography -
Hmm As I compile this list, I think lot more people of my generation want to have a hobby and pursue something ....

I am offcourse an exception. I think its got to do with being Neuro ATypical. https://www.quora.com/Are-grown-people-with-Asperger%E2%80%99s-still-childlike
I do have a lot of hobbies and interests compared to a regular adult, but then again like the children I take 100s of classes but they seem to be for fun/to pass time , very few are sticky.

Also most of my interests are my mothers - I refused to go to classes, music and dance or sports .They say with kids its not what u say but what u do. She had many hobbies - Stitching clothes, painting, gardening, rangoli - Those are my hobbies too, except rangoli.

BTW this was triggered by me searching for some class and finding most results for kids classes! Grrr! 

Vit D

Ever wondered how animals make Vit D? 
Humans make vit D when our skin is exposed to sun light right?  So Animals and birds who have  fur and feathers? How do they make Vit D? Do they have diets which are so rich in Vit D already?

from this very interesting  page 

http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/motm/vitaminD/vitamindjm.htmThe presence of fur in animals or feathers in birds blocks UV light from reaching the skin. So in these cases, the creatures’ skin secrete oils or waxes which coat and impregnate its fur or feathers. Sunlight then interacts with the oil and produces vitamin D, which is then ingested by the animal or bird when it grooms itself.

not only that apparently the Vit D tablets that we take comes from Sheep wool! 

Did also assume that the first humans were probably black? me too! Because today people in Africa are black and Humans came from Africa so they probably looked like how people look today! Right!

But Then someone clever pointed out that underneath the fur all animals are basically pink ( i.e white :P ) So the earliest ancestors of humans when they were just about losing the fur were probably pink skinned? so ancient humans were probably white!??!

Wiki says skin pigmentation evolved 1.2 million years ago and we can say Home Sapiens were probably dark skinned and our assumption was probably correct :-P Still it is all very interesting how our assumptions colour our beliefs.

How you interpret the world depends on your own opinion of yourself ...

While others see cats as selfish, I see them as Independent , just as I see myself :-)

while you were sleeping ...

... computing has moved on to whole new levels of ingenuity, innovation and whole new world of technologies :-)
Newly awakened me ( thanks to growth mindset )  is feeling like Sleeping beauty :D
#livingUnderARock

Its not about me, Its about them!

 Very powerful Mantra to remember when

someone insults you
is aggressive towards 
ignores you
abuses you
....
Add whatever
....
sometimes praises you

"Its not about me, Its about them!"

Its many times about their insecurity, their mental blocks, their prejudices,their envy, their grief, their frustration....
Its good to examine if there is anything to take back from the outburst without any emotion tho,  any feedback is good .
but dont let anything get to you. we always have a choice to not feel bad about things. Offcourse automatic emotional bodily reactions will happen, but may decrease in time. May be good to practice staying unaffected by getting into situations purposely in lab environment?

Also good to know that nothing, just Nothing annoys them as much as not reacting and staying calm ;-) Not that you should care about that.

1984 - Not Big Brother but sneaky little shits are watching you :D

I find myself saying these words - 
Be careful on the internet! 
I think "So and so" but wouldn't admit it on the net or at work! 
How can you say this? You will go viral for this! 

Have we implemented "1984 - but by the people for the people", by having mobile camera and social media ? and being politically correct is being enforced?

I genuinely feel like there are thought police. There is always someone watching and someone ready to report me and make me viral!

Celebrities being photographed in private parties was a start, conversations of politicians being recorded when they are offline -  appreciated by the public.  Now I find even normal people being shamed and judged on social media. I was for this - when it involved sexual harassment cases or such criminal activities.
Now disturbingly I find that especially in the liberal circles - There is a small set of views that are deemed acceptable and anyone who does not agree with that is a racist/sexist or something disgusting and this shall be published on social media.   For example if I asked someone where are your from? Then I am a racist. I could be filmed and put up on twitter and if I am mildly famous there could be protesters in front of my house.
If someone referred to transgender woman as he by mistake, That would be the end of them, their career, their reputation etc.
The reason for doing is also is murky, some may be doing it as virtue signalling, and many to get clicks and followers and exposure.

They think of themselves are supremely liberal, If they are not self appointed Thought police what are they?

ps: even Obama seems to think so
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-50239261

dreams

I noticed my dreams are not frightening nightmares or scary but they are not nice either. They are mildly uncomfortable, like I am having disagreements or arguments or defying something and feeling guilty or feeling embarrassed. Mundane and boring and that too mildly bad!
Grrrr!! My subconscious is not being creative at all! 

I am Robert Bruce's Spider :)

I am Robert Bruce's Spider :)
I felt like this, when I failed to lose weight, yet again and I devised a new plan to lose weight and just got on with it.
http://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2019/08/falling-off-wagon.html
I wrote this in August and seem to have taken it seriously. I am proud of myself to have not stopped working when there were no positive results but adverse results in fact :)
Growth mindset baby! yo!

Social media and mindset

Lot of us are facing a lot of anxiety and insecurity because of social media - Everyone is beautiful on Instagram, everyone has a perfect life in Facebook and everyone is very successful in Linked in. 

Everyone is projecting only one side of their life and portraying an unrealistic picture, There are even apps which enhance your looks and take away your flaws.  

This is all true but...

Isnt all this causing us anxiety only because we have fixed mindset?  It is only a problem because we are comparing ourselves with others and coming out smaller? We believe that everyone is in some position in this hierarchy, u are either above or below them and everyone is trying to show that they are at the top.

But if you had growth mindset, if you had a mindset where you believed in learning and improving, every success would be an inspiration, an encouragement. Some pictures and stories would be inspirational and Many would  even be irrelevant, if they are status symbols and u probably dont believe in that anymore. 

That tinge of sadness which we get - Why not me, wouldnt be there. 

The implications of having a thru and thru growth mindset seem phenomenal. 

Instead of avoiding social media because we are feeling anxious we should try to change our mindset instead.