Does meditation help with temper

Energy

• Drink water 
• Protein at 5 pm
• Eat fruit in car at 5/6 pm
• Water bottle in car
• Find and reduce activities and people who drain energy
• arguments - read assertiveness book  (?)
  
• Workout IF
  
• Detox with food. (?)
• Pranic healing
• Sukshma vyayama
• Essential oils - Lemon grass, lime
• Good sleep, sleep late
• Push boundaries of tiredness - Is it mental or physical?  
• Study/Code when really tired for half hour 
• Do simple stretching yoga when really tired 

How to Generate ideas

Use success in another area and see how you can apply it to an area you are stuck on, For example I have successfully managed to restart painting again even tho I was blocked. So how did I do it? Use the same principles to see if I can unblock myself in my career. 

They are not magical fluffy dandelion seeds floating around which accidentally collide with you! no! You have to work on them like anything else

• Spend time on it
• Don't see if the idea is
•   possible or not
• big or small
• useful or not
• Put a dead line  - 10 ideas in 3 weeks
• Look for ideas to copy from others
• Imitate first and then creativity will come
• Look for ideas online
• Bounce off ideas with others/discuss with others
• small steps - bounce ideas off someone from other team 
• do this online

is magic dying? ( rant)

One little girl 4 year old was wearing shoes with wings on them, I said wow you can fly with this, She said no you can't, they are pretend wings....
When I was little did I know pretend? If someone asked me - yes I would probably say the same but I did entertain the belief that I could fly, My equivalent was by doing Tapas I could actually meet Vishnu. I still do :-)
I am not one to entertain superstition, I HATE HATE people who worship banana trees for 7 days to have a son etc. But I love my belief in magic. It fills my heart with joy, It makes me very interesting to myself. It drives my curiosity, my drive to learn. It is very valuable to me.  I don't know how or why I think its different from Banana tree example, as far as I can see, these beliefs only fill the people with fear or greed or sometimes hope( which is not so bad...)
So It makes me sad that kids these days are losing the magic, In the bid to be rational are we killing the magic and imagination? Killing the joy of being? Are we making them materialistic? Not in the sense of wanting or not wanting material things, but thinking in only in terms of what they see and feel vs what may be, what is hidden? the mystery?
Same dread I felt when my friend bought her daughter a flying fairy, It was an ugly plastic toy, with wings which actually flew and hovered in air for a bit.  If it can actually happen Its not magic anymore is it? Just like how much magic is a Skype call vs how u felt when James Bond spoke to M on his watch in the 80s?
One thing for sure ( I am guilty of advocating this just 2 years ago) we are over engineering the kids, not just the kids, we are over engineering our society and our selves as well. We are setting up too many rules to follow and not allowing ourselves to BE and observe .
May be this is just my over reaction, May be people feel the same when I am being practical about Valentines day or the Gift exchange culture? That I have thrown the baby out with the bath water? Are they right? Am I right? Am I over engineering my thinking :D 

Its not will power, its obedience!

When I have an app tell me to fast, why is easier? Its not as energy draining?  
We are programmed to be obedient, being hierarchical species. It is natural for most of us to obey than to disobey?  It really takes a lot of energy to disobey, thats why we are so angry when someone tell us to do something we don't want to do. Because our minds feel compelled to do it and we have to fight that instint to not do!
 Back seat driving for example, its dangerous because of the high possibility of the driver following the suggestion in spite of it being dangerous, like turn left when a vehicle is coming from behind. We find it very hard to not do what the person is casually telling. It takes lot of mindfulness to not take the suggestion . Thats why we said look what u made me do! and we are NOT playing the blame game. We are telling the truth. 
Even when the order is what we want to do we find it annoying , because it makes us lesser in the hierarchy? but that another discussion.
I am thinking there may be a practical advantage to this obedience. When we try to fast - we are using will power to stick to it. Its is hard and draining until it becomes a habit. But when we are using a fasting app? When the app tells us its Time to fast - Its not using our limited will power which is kind of draining to use but we are using our less draining but natural instinct of obedience? Thats why it is lot easier from the beginning?

Those were the days

Heady days of Free Moocs
Those were the days, How I loved courser, the kind of courses it offered. Learning for the fun of it, learning for joy - Dino 101, Do trees have feelings?, Social Psycology, Buddhisim and modern Psycology, Morality of everyday life!Design ! Art history course!
Oh What fun!  I loved the community aspect of it, The course was offered kind of live, once - together for everyone , so 200,000 or so of us, did it at once, Were in the forums at once, Stimulating discussions, and evaluating each others assignments !
I am now doing a coursera course out of necessity,  It stings me , Its like the difference between calligraphy and typing :D 
This course is offered everyday I can join any day and start and It is useful for my job and assignments are evaluated by robots online :) There are discussion forums dry and barren ones , with last message being - Unable to submit assignment, with a reply 2 months ago .  
and this is not free
The days of fun free moochs which were awesome but which you probably wouldnt pay for is over?

Moaning myrtle ( ranty stuff :D )

 

 Okay!I woke up stressed today, I could literally feel the stress hormones being poured into my blood steam. Its because of this girl, This moaning ghost, She does not just live in Hogwarts girls toilet, apparently she lives in my head as well! ( looks a little different, more like me :P 

Moaning about the decisions I have taken for my Kitchen, How they are tacky, how they look so bad, even funny comments but ultimately mean. Its an issue which has very little consequence over my life, but it seems to be a really big deal to some part of me, To wake up in wee hours being bothered.

 This is not the only example, There are many small things which worry this moaning myrtle.

It seems to be not just a kitchen but somehow part of my identity, Its a personal judgement. Getting it right or wrong somehow makes me  a better or worse person.. something like that. I wonder why? Its not kitchen that it shit, its me! Not just mistake some

 There are areas in my life where no mistake seem to reach this level of consequence. Driving for one( may be only one ;-) ha ha! ) I have made some very big mistakes! Huge! like turning into the wrong lane at a signal. Into oncoming traffic. I turned into a 4 lane no entry and had 4 cars come on to me, life threatening mistake. My heart beat faster, throat dried up! definitely ! but I calmly dealt with it, I said sorry to people who honked. I calmed put up my hand to stop them and turned and carried on.  Do I think of myself as a bad driver? No! I am an excellent driver, as comfortable and as confident as ever right from the next moment. Later on also it didnt bother me at all, Did I spend sleepless nights thinking how Shit I am? NO!!! I just laughed at myself! Oh! My God! hehe! 

 How come?

I was not like this, I was very uncomfortable driver, I was so embarrassed about it, I took it very personally when anyone commented about my driving and If I made a mistake, Thats it! It felt so bad, I felt like crying. Even small things like someone honking at me was enough to derail my entire driving. I used to actually become shit driver after a mistake. Why?

This changed after I got my own car.   But was it just own car?

The difference is moving from beginner to expert. Now in my mind I am expert. Its not "I think" or "I Know" but "I am" a good driver. So nothing shakes me, mistakes dont make me "bad driver",  I just make a mistake.  Previously even if I got a honk I used to become a "bad driver" 

How to make this change in life!?  How to become like this in life.. for everything!  Decisions and actions (Mistakes or not) shouldn't make me incompetent, ineffective or a bad cook  or bad painter or bad wife, bad daughter, bad person or shit person,  shouldn't make me somehow less...

How to make this transition? How to be expert at living ? :D

No Shabari :-)

There is no Shabari in my life!
To find my sweet fruits, I should taste the bitter ones and spit them out myself.
So start Tasting :)

NO FEAR FOR FAILURE! AJA FIGHTING!

ps: Lucky bugger that Rama ! :-) 

Shower scene

Oh yeah! Shower scenes in movies. ( Why do I feel like I have written it before? but it is not turning up in search? )
I was watching one of these old 80s movies on TV, Shower scene..Shower.. water ...steam... woman...boobs! *me rolls eyes*  steamy,  lechy scene, so common in these old movies, even when they are rated 12 .
That's when I realised! Oh my god! How long has it been since I have seen a woman in a shower scene! These days Its  always men isnt it? ( I am not complaining ;-) At all ;-P )Korean dramas,  Hollywood,  even Bollywood, 6 packs biceps men!  How things have changed and how we have come a long way.
It is womens empowerment in a way.  It shows the powers that be have realised that women have pockets too ( or purses! Grr ! thats another rant post ) Pleasing the women  brings in the bucks.
In the 80s the movies are so clearly a mans world,Women are there in the movies as support only and as enjoyment. Butt and Boob shots, upskirts galore!  They just dont seem to care for the women who are in front of the screen watching. The hero, even if he is so hot doesnot take his shirt off !!!

I remember clearly when the tides turned. I was there for it. It was the 90s. Lara Croft 2. I am in the theater, Shower scene, Same ...Shower .. water.. steam .. The theater is going crazy - waiting for wet and nude Angelina Jolie! I am rolling my eyes! These guys! ha! Then surprise!  Its Daniel Craig! Tada!   That was the moment, Turning point in history!  The theater was silent for a few seconds before they started booing! LOL! I was really Rolling on the floor laughing. Servers them right ! These Lecherous Bs :-))
Now. There is cheering when Hritick or Tiger are in the shower even by the guys! :-) Its a body builders world after all :-)
Times have changed so much for the better :-D