shantap paapam

shantam paapam shantam paapam.. :) do u remember this? patting our cheeks and saying shantam paapam  :-)
mostly to embarrass friends!so long since I did that :)

synchronocity 3

Few weeks back, walking home, some how sad bout something ...some kids has thrown some flowers on the street, felt sad (when we are sad we feel more sad for others ;-) ) and picked up one, very pretty... I can almost see a lil fairy sitting on that flower :) too much miyazaki :) fairy looks like Kodama spirit in a tutu :D as if someone put it there to cheer me up! :) I took it home and put it on the altar.

. 

Very pretty  rose like flowers... camellia ...after that day I have looked for those flowers again,, always found them in the plants not on the street..I din pluck flowers - some stupid value. (flowers are so attractive and so plenty, they beg to be picked actually. If u pick one and touch 3, u are pollinating, plants will love that more than if u just stay away.. but still somehow we "shouldnt pick flowers!" Grrr)

Today also feeling somehow low...walking back home...there is a canal on the way. I notice there is a canal road dono where it goes..should I take it? took it anyway. Started walking .. soon (not soon enough :P) I realise it's a bit stupid to do this...Sun has almost set.. its getting dark fast and there are no lights on that road :D there is no way out either. one side canal another side fence :D absolutely no one else on the road...how far before some exit!!???  5 more mins.. 10 mins.. no exit!! mummy!! and now its long way back!!! :) .. then a bridge ..on the other side.. a hole in the fence!!  Great! but now I am in a huge huge football field ..empty..  also fenced! and where is the bloody entrance( exit actually )? Now it is almost dark. I can already see Venus and Jupiter?! hello there :P!! Aaaaaaa :D only I can get into a fix like this, in the city!! hehe!  luckliy some car tracks- followed - running ! I m afraid of the dark!! :) finally  I m out! civilization! Sigh!!!! 

and There a beautiful house -garden-same flower tree-same flowers all torn down and all over the street!!! :) :-) as if  strewn there just for me!! a gift?!! This time I pick up two :) It 's as if I was led through that sucha weird route to that particular place just so that I could pick those flowers up and cheer myself up ( Actually?! what sad? can anyone be sad and scared at the same time? no!!!! :-))

co-incidence :) but so longwinded and so sweet! :) 

mirror

Nostalgia actually
I bought this essential oil - lavender for aroma therapy.. funnily it does not smell nice at all..It smells just like my dad's old shaving cream :)  Good old days ... I used to be so intrigued by shaving!! The small round shaving cream box, shaving brush.. and the razor which opened up magically when we turned its handle :) the foldable razor was heights of technology I just loved that!( our parents let us handle blades and razors even when we were like 7!?! cool!) haha! I also loved to see my dad make faces when he shaved :D
That makes me think, actually shaving was sucha  ritual in those good old days.. he used to actually sit in the living room with a small mirror and a mug of water to shave!! ah! we didnt have a wash basin in those days!!! there was no mirror in bathroom!! actually if I think about it there were so few mirrors in those days! There was only one mirror in the house.. small face mirror and that shaving mirror! there was so full length mirror at all!!! same with my grandparents house.. no full length mirror at all!!!  people never knew or cared how they looked,except their face!
I remember my uncles often quoted joke about this girl he saw( for marriage )
He was like she looks just like Hema malini, He looks just like Hema mailini... neck down that is! :D :D meaning she is NOT good.
Today if some said that girl looks just like Scarlet Johansen...Neck down that is! we would  go WOoooooooooooooooo (howl  :P :P)  even better than  Scarlet Johanson neck up eh? ;-)
Full length mirrors are the reason for this? full length mirrors have changed our focus from face to body ?  I think :)
even then people saw others full length, but they cared only about face because they couldnt see themselves full length? :D funny :)

sexist western society

Why does every comedy serial have this episode where the women talk about how they want a great wedding, about girls dreams of elaborate expensive weddings and how they have been planning it all their life?!!!?! It is not funny :( It is plain wrong. sucha waste of money and resorces and such a wrong direction for young women.and it is setting a very bad example for all young girls :(
:-(
how can all these sitcoms justify waste of money over silly ceremonies and glorify it? I hate it! supposedly pro-women sitcoms are so sexist. Its plain wrong :( Sex and the City, Friends,movies like father of the bride.. all.. and yeah - girls father pays for the wedding! :-O

and the biological clock ticking hysteria?!? it is kinda funny at times...!  exactly like the hysteria about getting daughters married in conservative households in india.. there age bar is 22 here 40.. but its the same anxiety/fear/desperation.  ( BTW I think our first lady princess Aishwarya having a baby at 37 should chill a lot of people and raise the bar in india? ;-) )

and the girls are bad at maths thing! There are absolutely NO lady engineers here in the UK! Zero! Thanks to such sexist propaganda! Girls are bad at maths! There were hardly any boys in my class as good at maths as me!
In India there is an awareness about such things atleast some people are feminist, people are fighting against such views. There is always an uproar about sexist ad campaigns, here there is nothing. pink and blue. why  so much distinguishing at such young age.. why not green/yellow/purple/red prams!?! just let them be, instead of doing this boy/girl thing!
I dont like :-(

Yes there is Sexism here but .....
 I had to add the PS:
After  bumming on the beach, in a bikini, alone.  topless babes sun bathing around me, often alone, roaming around in clothes definitely classified as very skimpy in India in the wee hours of the night, drinking alone( :-O?:-P) and feeling so safe to be able to do this.. I felt very touched and grateful to this culture and society actually.
I remember how we went to the beach in India.. my river dress . thick grey trousers and thick dark black and red shirt.. I felt sad for me for that... I remember kerala - people following me on the beach even when getting into water fully clothed. Yew! disgusting that... from that to this!!! Liberating!
West has got something right, and India is like very very very very long way behind.... after tasting freedom like this..  will I ever be able to go back to that?
.. 

pursuit of happiness

Money fame power...
pursuing these... people say wont really lead you to happiness, they say these are shallow goals, superficial, when u achieve still u feel empty etc.. kind of like the gold pot under rainbow pursuits...
Family, people, love they say  bring real joy!
Travelling alone I realised even these goals family/love/stability/perfection...even these are rainbow- gold pot type pursuits. controversial but true. Its the same thing as power fame money...
unless we  find happiness inside ourself, everything else is still gold pot under rainbow pursuit- no?

I m sure having good close friends, loving partner and kids bring us a lot of joy no doubt... making money, being successful? also brings us joy...
well actually what I think I m trying to say that the converse is not true.
 making money, being successful? also brings us joy..,not having money or success need not necessarily make us sad! :-)
Ye!!! yes this is exactly what I actually thought -
similarly having good close friends, loving partner and kids bring us a lot of joy no doubt...but not having these need not make us sad at all :)

What I actually thought is that these things as such are not bad at all, they bring us joy, but pursuit is bad,? Pursuit is also not bad, making something a pre-condition for our happiness is bad. "I will be happy if..." I think the "will be" and "if..." part  of that statement are wrong. "I m happy!" May be There are no pre conditions for happiness! ( yeah, not original - this is new age funda : ) but nice funda. )

Miyazaki has 2 sons and no daughters!
Aww sucha pity!  He would make a really lovely dad to a daughter.. such a sweet man and his understanding of girls is just .... awww...
Paulo Coehlo - Feminist - no children :)
How come these two great artists with such beautiful hearts are such avid feminists! Aww  I m touched..
<3 * <3* <3
C S Lewis - people criticize him to be sexist and religious. I actually found him also to be a feminist, this lead is a lil girl. she is the one who almost always gets people out of trouble and Aslans favourite. I din find his books too religious or evangelic either.. :P

Mantras

(this is kinda random post)
Om mani padme hum - from tibetan incantatons mp3 from friend
Om Thrembakam yajamahe - this one just came to me? may be when I searched for Om joom, I found that, that was maha mrytuyunjaya mantra but full form was this one, This was also chanted at the end of yoga class, but I never got it then
Om joom saha maam palay palay saha joom om -astrologer, He says anger will come down, but from personal experience I think this is for good health.
Om namah shivaya Om - childhood one :) My parents ploy to keep kids quite during power cut, Do Tapas like Druva they used to say  and I will get a vara :D haha! but Druva must have worshiped Vishnu...my parents told me Om namah shivaya.. I say this when I am scared of ghosts also, funny My brother says Jai Bajarang bali :)
So ham - pranic healing. Ham-sa - It is the opposite of so hum, supposedly milder version.
Om bhur bhuvasvaha - most popular mantra :)  These days it is played everywhere. 1998 - A friend was offended that this mantra was chanted in a movie( Stupid movie Mohobatein), Apparently it should nt be chanted by women, lower class people, actually anyone except some initiated bramhin male :) and how things have changed since then.. heart warming.. Thanks to Vivekananda and Theosophical soceity and all those movements which started about 150 years ago...and most recently internet and western interest in these things... foreign influence breaks bonds..
Om namo parabhraman om - pranic healing
Om purnamidam - I heard this in the closing of yoga class and loved it. I like the shanti mantra too..( from Vedas, kind of non religious) 
http://yoga108.org/pages/show/69-closing-mantras-of-yoga-class
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTwtGu-XZBE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCZVm6slzE0


From childhood
Om asatoma sad gamaya - school prayer/Uncle...
Budham sharanam gachami - Uncle
Guru bramha -Uncle/Dad
Sahana vavatu -School prayer
Poojyaya raghavendraya -Dad
Ganesha mantra -
Vakra-Tunndda Maha-Kaaya Surya-Kotti Samaprabha
Nirvighnam Kuru Me Deva Sarva-Kaaryessu Sarvadaa


Shuklaambaradharam Vissnnum Shashivarnnam Caturbhujam 
Prasannavadanam Dhyaayet Sarvavighnopashaantaye 

Karagre vasate lakshmi.. Home. but these 3 never entered my thick head :D


Yakundendu tushara hara - school prayer. I din like this, it used to fill my heart with dread :( I guess I din like that school at all... Our Florence English school suited me much better. Our father in heaven :) Lords prayer.. apparently even that is a a very powerful mystic symbolism...


Wow! This post started off as something mystic.. but This is more like a nostalgia trip !!! :-)
Mantras are good, I wanted to find a mantra for each occasion but it turns out.. my uncle and dad and my family have taught me so many little things in my childhood. I feel misty eyed.. I love you uncle doctor bappa! he has touched our lives in so many ways... dad and uncle .. little tihngs they taugt us.
I remember I used to resent learning these as I got slightly older.. I used to run away and ignore.. :) but now when I read these I feel so good.. not about the mantra but about the care they took and the love that was behind all this :)


This makes me think of the comedian Dara O brien who says he is ethinic catholic even tho he is atheist.
exactly my sentiments.. I am ethinic hindu.. hindu culture is in me but I am not a religious hindu..I have lot of anger and hatred for some aspect of Hinduism but it is still in me.




awesome, I ran into these while looking for mantras..!Written by Ravana one of them is :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp9OwlYrEUY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5oGpRzlPO0&feature=related
New found  Om tare tuttare ture Svaha! Green Tara Mantra, chanted in chinese style. I loved this one too
http://www.greenmesg.org/mantras_slokas.php#Ganesha


This post is no way complete...I started out to research but now just emotional..lost the will to research.. 
To do
1) what really is the power of mantras?
2) What are Beeja mantra's?
When we were kids we used to say Hram Hreem Hrooom... pretending to mantravaadi's ( bad black magic people;) but this is chanted along with Surya Namaskara for additional benifit.
I have read a lot about beeja mantras - seed mantra! ? but I havent really figured what they are! they make the normal mantra more potent, but hram hreem are just chanted by themselves too? Om Btw is the Ultimate beeja mantra I suppose?
3) Wama mantras? ;-) Are there any? 
4) other Religion mantras? Chants are very common - Sufi - Dama Dum Mast Khalandar! Tora - is all about chanting right?


ps: I would love to see one post by my friend M about such things, that would be real technical/scientific and real vedic perspective on all this... it would be awesome. 

narratives

Noticed how we make up stories to tell others and very soon believe it ourselves to be true :)

When something happens - I usually make up a narrative to tell others in my head ...sometimes this narrative drifts slightly from truth ;-)  Based on emotional state sometimes more artistic liberties are taken :) especially in anger, the villain is painted blacker than reality. That would be kinda ok, but I also noticed that the blacker version adds to my anger as if the imaginary version of the story did actually happen.  I may not tell that blacker narrative to anyone at all.. I actually mostly tell the correct version to other people ( yeah I m ethical that way :P) but the blacker version has poisoned my psyche more than required. Should cut this out in future.

ps: how much of our memory is actually true/real? god! are we all screwing our future selves by corrupting our memory like memento guy? ( I know what u are thinking, that I m crazy and that u dont do it! Hah! bigger HAH! just watch urself and see! :P, we are all just as evil :P)

BTW awesomest psychological thriller ever http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_(film)

solitude

What actually needs to be hammered into my head now is
wanting people for being happy is a myth
similarly wanting solitude to be happy is also ...
Living in solitude people consider it as harder.. but I feel its the opposite once u get the hang of it...its a lot easier (I think it really helps that I am very nice and interesting person ;-) , and I always agrees with me ;-))..but its like living in a monastery, like living in bliss but  its like a lab condition. its like your product is still not mature , still has lot of errors and bugs which are not exposed, which are hidden, they will come out only once u are in the field.
Staying alone would be like playing level 1 of a game again and again and not going to level 2 becuase level 1 is nice and level 2 is more challenging!

When ur belief that u are happy alone is solidifying.. it becomes harder..
When u believe u need people for u to be happy u are more accommodating, otherwise each accommodation/adjustment requires more justification to self...
so what to do?
In sucha  case only truely understanding other people and understanding why they behave that way may help, developing empathy becomes very important.
everything is slightly easier when there is something for us in it no? to do things when there is nothing in it? may be we should be creative and actually see what is actually in it for us.
So one carrot we can use is self growth - see everything as one more lesson I need to learn.... each person is a challenge/ learning opportunity. each irritating trait is like a puzzle, like an obstacle in a game which I need to learn to cross, each time I cross an obstacle and maintain my peace and calm - I get points :) and then  I can cross levels... slowly I can start putting myself in more and more challenging situations - may be i can even invite BIL back to living with us :D and go and eat with my uncle daughter in law's who eat in their husband leftover plates :D and still maintian peace!
Shalom ;-)