no one sees us

Antony Demello says
People dont really see you, they see the image of you they have created in their head.. and most of the time peoples opinion of u has very little to do with u..
Dont take critisim too seriosuly they are critising the image in their head or because their mood is bad.. so true.. most times people are pissy and angry and they critize ...
he says same with compliments.. so true.. I compliment people more when "I" am happy :-D

Very good example of how people dont see us at all
 I and my friend went to the shop to buy some groceries. The shopkeeper lady all of a sudden started complimenting my friend- you are so fair and pretty and then to me.. why are u not like your sister - you dark ugly thing!!!  
WTF!  you bitch!  :-D ok I din say that to her, but I did cursed her  and called her a devil and a witch and all that with my friend. I ve always hated the indian "dark" discrimination.
but it confused me,  I am "fair"... That comment was not meant for me at all.. it was meant for my friends real sister! :-O She was not ugly but definitely dark!!!  * shock *. I still remember this and makes me very uncomfortable, some people were so mean to kids. sibling comparison about looks is so sick. Ive heard friendly comments like nin tamma hero thara iddane, neen yaake dumma and all. :(  This was a mean spirited comment which did hurt me, I guess Lucky it was me rather than her.  
The point is, This woman had some grudge with the sister and planned a retort  - I m going to say this and this. She probably couldnt wait to see her after that, As soon as she saw my friend, her mind told her, she and her sisters  are here. 
She didnt see me at all. she didnt even see me physically - let alone my qualities,subjective things,  she just saw my cousin and this other girl - "her sister". all she saw was her memory.
When aunts treat u like a lil baby even when u are 35,
They tell u You are so skinny :D when u are actually plump like a tomato.
Every time I go to bangalore I buy funky bracelets and chains for my brother, he stopped wearing them 5 years ago :) 
gifts- people bring in small 5 year old s frock for a teenager? :) 
all same syndrome.

no one sees you, they see thru their mental patterns and memory, god know where in the past they are stuck.  Same with us, I would judge someone based on memory and  not the present most times. 
So when someone gives you feedback, Take it with a pinch of salt..

are we going too fast

Standing by the door in a train! I was thinking most trains are getting too fast these days to do that..
going by bike feeling the breeze in the hair too , cant do traffics too fast to go without helmet
triples on scooter cant do,
Motorways ... :(
It was nice when things were a bit slow, when we could not only go from place to place but also enjoy the view in between...
may be not just journeys but life too?
Am I too old and hankering for good ol days?  :) 

learn from the babes

she loves autos, they are noisy and colorful :)
delighted by traffic :)
loves the red light on the mouse? and on the charger! :)
tin box, scarp of paper :)
when did we stop loving these things and start thinking they are irritating? :) why are we so mistaken about our world? :) :) 

I danced with the faeries! ye! :)

how we value life

At least how I value life
ours is most important. i.e humans > animal. mostly.
In human..babies and women more than men.
our country people more than enemy
developed country more than developing.. ( :(  not me but true for most people )
200 killed in USA v/s 10,000 in Africa

Tree more than plant more than grass  - points based on longevity/size/rarity/usefulness

intelligent animal more than dumb animal
carnivore more than herbivore.. usually this is more like  smart v/s dumb
eg: elephant is important but not cow/deer etc
shark v/s seal always seal even tho shark eats seal
so its usually smarter - more value

 fish /reptile less than bird less than mammal
small size easily reproducing less than big size / slow reproducing
eg: giant turtle v/s rabbit.. giant turtle wins..
cuteness also matters to certain extent only
squirrel  cute but..
pet animals greater than  farm animals greater than wild( for villagers ) :)
wild greater than pet greater than farm - city people

insects are always low - even if huge. except may be butterfly
plants greater than insects ? rose greater than cockroach, caterpillar, even butterfly
pests weeds are the lowest - Animal and Plant pest rank equally low? cockroach - parthenium...ok, may be cockroach wins.

I wanted this put on paper before I started reading  "we love some, we hate some , we eat some" psychology of Human Animal interaction.
For now all I could gather was that feelings of humans towards animals is very murky, its not head but heart based!

3 saddest incidents

3 legged doggy in mantralaya dreaming of running
Beggar who asked for biscuit whom I asked to go away and then realised he asked for food and not money but I couldnt find later in allahabad.
The gaudy dressed guy in shankarnag theater, whom I commented about and who probably heard it :( 

Terrorists

Now I understand why Al Qaida bombed world trade centre.
Its not about right or wrong but  Its about why
Justified or not I dono
It is just as unjustified as dropping a bomb on Hiroshima Nagasaki . is there something called less justified and more justified.. It was more shocking because it was an impossible feat and it was done.
After WW2 that was the first time ever that any western world civilians would have faced death like that.

There are lot of things I didn't know 11 years ago when 9/11 happened... for years I have seen Osama and Co as monsters.. but are they?
I knew CIA supplied arms to Afghans to fight Russians.. I knew they are messing with regimes a bit...Still Islamic Terrorists were villains, screwing the whole world.
But my perception has changed only now...after reading Book thief and Half a yellow sun. Strangely  both not about Islamic militancy at all. Book thief is a sweet book about Nazi Germany.  Half a yellow sun is about revolution/Internal war in Nigeria. What happens to people during war is the same, no matter where and what time. The reasons people revolt or go into war are also similar. Someone ends up creating a divide in the minds of people - Us and Them. and then Us wants to destroy them.

West has done so much messing around in Africa/Asia..
proxy regimes - rebel forces-child soldiers
Can they retaliate in anything else other than covert attacks?
That was the only way middle-east or Africa can retaliate. like how Shivaji attacked. Guerilla warfare. He would have been called a Terrorist then.
I can understand - how it must seem to an educated rich clever man like Osama.. how it must frustrate him - seeing west playing around with his country. What would u do? If THEY were doing this to your country, if your kids were killed by a drone? everyday?
Islam and holy Jihad are just words...They are just enemy. They  look strange to us. Thats how enemies always look.. Japanese with their Hara-kiri.. fascist Germans.. they looked strange too.
Ravana and Demons looked strange too.. they were actually just normal people... enemies. thats all. so are terrorists.
:( I dont want to call them terrorists.  warriors.
Is there any difference between pearl harbour and 9/11? Isnt pearl harbour worse because it was  king sanctioned  by a "civilized" country?
I dono anymore...
Killing innocent people is wrong.. but whole world seems to be messing with the whole world.
Terrorists or Soldiers They are all BAD! Actually Govt are Bad, Or may be we are all just one big Dumb humanity!

fluid present

sleep gyan..

In half sleep - my thoughts went this way -
I behaved "in this way"( forgot what it was!)  today and It worked out well.
I make a record of this and thought I should do this when I get into the same situation - next time.

voice in the head says -
Making patterns like this is rigid, Where as the present is fluid.
Making rules, even if it is "good" rules, distances you from the present and hence from the reality.
You will actually react to a past rather than the present when u do this!

True. react to every situation freshly, not to the past similar situations!

( my subconscious understands and remembers the books I read ;-) good work subconscious!) 

Faeries

magic magic magic magic :) flying over cities at night make me feel like I m one of those old timers flying on dragons, brooms, magic carpet whatever flying over fire lit castles...magic..
(that song from alladin,,, I love that song for its picturisation)
After dreaming about and craving for dragons and castles and rocky castles on steep hilltops.. I found Simlmarillion in the book shop today :-) hard bound! Ye!! got so excited stumbled and fell! LOL :D

Edit: I went ahead and bought magical feeling  books Faeries, Faeries oracle, and another faeries book - slightly innocent one :D I sit by the river and read them, Its winter and its really spooky.. every gust of wind is spooky now :D like it, like it. winder is more magical after all! isnt it? and I like the street light also more :D when its foggy or rainy even they look like fairy lights, if u use a bit of imagination that is :) 

possessions

collectable.. beautiful things :)
I want to collect things - books
I used to buy books to read.. these days I m tempted to buy books to watch and see, hard bound books..
faery book of drawings... nat geo books..
I want to have things which when I am grandma and I die, small kids will be excited to find
like magic books, fairy statues :) secret drawings, exquisite puzzels.. paintings which make u feel a particular way...beautiful boxes with beautiful things inside :) cuckoo clocks.

actually I want to be that kid who finds good stuff in grandmas house :) thats why I buy old furniture from BHF and get excited about the 1975 news paper in it :) I love antiques, not expensive valuable ones.. just simple ones.. I was so excited to buy a fairy statue.. I was lil disappointed to know it was actually new and not used one :)  I was dreaming that it was with this old witch who could see fairies  and talk to fairies :) who donated all her stuff to Oxfam.. sigh, I think some shop guy donated all the stuff that was not sold to oxfam.
something about used things is very attractive.

more materialistic and lovin it ;)

18 Nov 2012:

Ah Luxury! TK max, beautiful stuff I wouldnt even sniff at original prices.. I m buying them..
I cant believe I d be so crazy about luxury.. but soft puff and powder in such lovely boxes...creamy lotions...soaps