Antony Demello says
People dont really see you, they see the image of you they have created in their head.. and most of the time peoples opinion of u has very little to do with u..
Dont take critisim too seriosuly they are critising the image in their head or because their mood is bad.. so true.. most times people are pissy and angry and they critize ...
he says same with compliments.. so true.. I compliment people more when "I" am happy :-D
Very good example of how people dont see us at all
I and my friend went to the shop to buy some groceries. The shopkeeper lady all of a sudden started complimenting my friend- you are so fair and pretty and then to me.. why are u not like your sister - you dark ugly thing!!!
WTF! you bitch! :-D ok I din say that to her, but I did cursed her and called her a devil and a witch and all that with my friend. I ve always hated the indian "dark" discrimination.
but it confused me, I am "fair"... That comment was not meant for me at all.. it was meant for my friends real sister! :-O She was not ugly but definitely dark!!! * shock *. I still remember this and makes me very uncomfortable, some people were so mean to kids. sibling comparison about looks is so sick. Ive heard friendly comments like nin tamma hero thara iddane, neen yaake dumma and all. :( This was a mean spirited comment which did hurt me, I guess Lucky it was me rather than her.
The point is, This woman had some grudge with the sister and planned a retort - I m going to say this and this. She probably couldnt wait to see her after that, As soon as she saw my friend, her mind told her, she and her sisters are here.
She didnt see me at all. she didnt even see me physically - let alone my qualities,subjective things, she just saw my cousin and this other girl - "her sister". all she saw was her memory.
When aunts treat u like a lil baby even when u are 35,
They tell u You are so skinny :D when u are actually plump like a tomato.
Every time I go to bangalore I buy funky bracelets and chains for my brother, he stopped wearing them 5 years ago :)
gifts- people bring in small 5 year old s frock for a teenager? :)
all same syndrome.
no one sees you, they see thru their mental patterns and memory, god know where in the past they are stuck. Same with us, I would judge someone based on memory and not the present most times.
So when someone gives you feedback, Take it with a pinch of salt..
People dont really see you, they see the image of you they have created in their head.. and most of the time peoples opinion of u has very little to do with u..
Dont take critisim too seriosuly they are critising the image in their head or because their mood is bad.. so true.. most times people are pissy and angry and they critize ...
he says same with compliments.. so true.. I compliment people more when "I" am happy :-D
Very good example of how people dont see us at all
I and my friend went to the shop to buy some groceries. The shopkeeper lady all of a sudden started complimenting my friend- you are so fair and pretty and then to me.. why are u not like your sister - you dark ugly thing!!!
WTF! you bitch! :-D ok I din say that to her, but I did cursed her and called her a devil and a witch and all that with my friend. I ve always hated the indian "dark" discrimination.
but it confused me, I am "fair"... That comment was not meant for me at all.. it was meant for my friends real sister! :-O She was not ugly but definitely dark!!! * shock *. I still remember this and makes me very uncomfortable, some people were so mean to kids. sibling comparison about looks is so sick. Ive heard friendly comments like nin tamma hero thara iddane, neen yaake dumma and all. :( This was a mean spirited comment which did hurt me, I guess Lucky it was me rather than her.
The point is, This woman had some grudge with the sister and planned a retort - I m going to say this and this. She probably couldnt wait to see her after that, As soon as she saw my friend, her mind told her, she and her sisters are here.
She didnt see me at all. she didnt even see me physically - let alone my qualities,subjective things, she just saw my cousin and this other girl - "her sister". all she saw was her memory.
When aunts treat u like a lil baby even when u are 35,
They tell u You are so skinny :D when u are actually plump like a tomato.
Every time I go to bangalore I buy funky bracelets and chains for my brother, he stopped wearing them 5 years ago :)
gifts- people bring in small 5 year old s frock for a teenager? :)
all same syndrome.
no one sees you, they see thru their mental patterns and memory, god know where in the past they are stuck. Same with us, I would judge someone based on memory and not the present most times.
So when someone gives you feedback, Take it with a pinch of salt..
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