I had written a blog about how we should replace judgement with understanding. In practice, this seems very hard - just not able to do. continued with judging people :-)
so I have replaced understanding with noticing.
U dont have to decide what the people have done is good or bad just notice their behaviour
Instead of this thinking person is so selfish - always takes everything for themselves. Which makes you very frustrated and angry. Instead we can just notice the behaviour like you would do to a Nat geo animal - This lion always kills deer when its hungry. you don't think this lion is a cruel bastard.
When we look at peoples behaviour like this, we may be able to find solutions or work around the behaviour without it bothering us. Instead of thinking this person should not do like this, we will think, they will behave like this so what will I do ? I think people who are good strategists think like this.
so I have replaced understanding with noticing.
U dont have to decide what the people have done is good or bad just notice their behaviour
Instead of this thinking person is so selfish - always takes everything for themselves. Which makes you very frustrated and angry. Instead we can just notice the behaviour like you would do to a Nat geo animal - This lion always kills deer when its hungry. you don't think this lion is a cruel bastard.
When we look at peoples behaviour like this, we may be able to find solutions or work around the behaviour without it bothering us. Instead of thinking this person should not do like this, we will think, they will behave like this so what will I do ? I think people who are good strategists think like this.
Understanding does not work because we are trying to make ourselves feel things which we dont feel. We are not feeling compassion for that asshole who is vandalising the shops. What ever their circumstances . But noticing without thinking "that asshole" is relatively easier :-)
Same applies to self as well, I usually undermine myself and make my behaviour worse by judging,
I started noticing how very subtly I undermine myself, and how I dont have confidence in my own decisions so follow others decision even tho my own experience may be more and better and how I second guess my decisions. It is very subtle, its not hard words or intense emotions, its just small comments reminding of old mistakes or comparison with others negatively, or pointing out my faults.
so the solution is instead of judging myself, i.e instead of deciding this behaviour is good or bad, just notice my behaviour. For example think my hands slipped and the glass fell, instead of thinking I am so clumsy, I can never carry anything, I dont pay attention etc.
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