my world is entirely different from your world!!!
Discussions on individualistic and collectivist countries have been somewhat of an eye opener.

What individualistic culture may look at a deviant or unethical or manipulative or non genuine can be seen as something very natural and normal by a collectivist culture where harmony is of at most importance.

One example was in the west, It is ethical to give a job to the most deserving candidate, if you give it to your nephew instead you would be considered a unethical cheat. But in some cultures, people would think what kind of heartless thankless nut you are, if you give the job to some stranger than to your own nephew! How much ever I am inclined to believe that the first way is right, to most people second way is the right way.

Yeah yeah we are all Indians but I think I have somehow turned out more individualistic than most of my country mates. I find it very unethical that many people in India pretend to be something else in front of their parents/in laws.
Dont wear jeans in front of my parents.
Why?  Is it wrong?
no. but parents are old and they will get hurt.
so? u will cheat them?
Why dont u understand?
Why dont YOU understand?

They value harmony not honesty. I value honesty/fairness more than harmony. collectivist vs individualist.


[Moralities course prof asked a very good question related to this, continuing this line of thought, if you found that your neighbours child is much more intelligent than your child should you be paying for sending him to better school than your kid ;-) ]

joy of not having

I am Jealous of kids who start early, atleast I was.
Kids who are 17 who know how to swim and skate and play tennis and ski and go gymnastics! everything! These guys got to learn gymnastics at school!
Now I see the reality behind this! Its drudgery not enjoyment! Tennis classes at 6 in the morning, soccer classes after school, drawing classes on Sunday. Its not all the things they want to do, Its the things their parents want them to do. The parents who are like me, who wanted to do all that  now making kids do. Its not as fun for them as I imagine it would be for me.
Its normal, its not magic any more. (like a fairy doll which flies, Where is the magic in that?)

Not having and dreaming about something is great fun! :-) Having ... not so much :-)

When we hurt someone we are not afraid of their hurt
we are afraid of the hurt we feel when we hurt someone the empathy, the guilt, the conscince..

capitalsim

Actually I keep putting down capitalism, but what is it?
This is all that I group under capitalism and dislike...

1)      Win-loose – if I make money its enough screw everyone else. Everyone else is consumer, nature competitor etc

2)      Money < quality the motivation behind the work is somehow mechanical( is that the right word?) Especially in art- Movies/TV/Music.  you make something that will make money rather than what comes from your heart. It lacks soul. It is made with the audience in mind with a comitee by businessmen rather than artists.

What people want, what  makes money even if it is rubbish( what is rubbish? It doesnot nourish the soul, it is against the moral tenets) 

3)      Club culture, I m superior I will use my power to subdue you, I have powerful friends we will pat each others back and get things done.

4)      Rebulicans, George Bush- Now adays the America – big brother, arrogance.

Capitalism

Mental patterns, perception, judgements, labels... our reality is so objective.
how do we know what is good and bad? There is no good and bad. There is no correct and incorrect.
So how to live a life like that? I am upset by a few things- Bastards are corrupt!  but then is it only my objective judgement that corruption is bad?
The argument at home was . TV serials are trying to manipulate kids into buying toys. Toy shops are stocked with pink stuff, to sell to girls, Stereotyping. Kellogs tells women, get back ur self worth, lose weight!  Those marketing people dont have any ethics, they have a very short term self centered goal. They will go anything to get maximum bonus and a shiny career.
These judgements are all also objective. It is your opinion that Kellogs is manipulating people into thinking fat is not good for self esteem. many fat women appreciate it that Kellogs give then a plan to get thin.
Many people may be of the opinion that Toy shops are not gender stereotyped, they are gender appropriate. Obviously if it is democracy, there are more people with that opinion or the toy shops wouldnt have any sales and would change their strategy.
So its a free market, Its democracy after all, so people get what they want. peoples wants shape the world.


What conclusion I came to is that.. everything in todays world is kind of win lose. I mean mostly. Its either us against nature, one country against another, company wants to get your money out and so on.

The solution to Capitalim is win -win. like Google ads, like Linux, like free software. Like piracy and torrents of Paulo Coehlo ( his story of how, his book was pirated to russian, His books sold in thousands in Russia before piracy and after that his books started selling in millions :) )

We as a culture have to make a shift towards win win from win -lose. We should think of , how I can make better toys than how I can sell better. we need deisgners and scientists, we have to dispense of with huge classes of jobs like marketing people , sales people  bankers, CEOs anyone who is having a salary of 10000000 $£ etc is out. I dont believe any one ads that much value to a company.

All old boys clubs should be out, all contacts, networking should be out, all groupism out, all fart CVs should be out.
genuineness instead of facets or postering.
my solution -  is choose the win win solution to the best of our current knowlege.

what is shallow and what is deep

I liked my cousins post on facebook against people who say dark is not beautiful. All colors are beautiful, then I thought in the same lines... tall and short - how come tall is more beautiful than short and it is not even considered a discrimination?
and what about our obsession with "big"?  Having grown up like Sheldon cooper, I had totally missed it that big boobs are supposed to be better, hence so many complaints by girls about how their blouses were like shirts (dont embarrass me!) and how some girl was flat! giggles! or pride by others on their size( dont gross me out!! Shut up already)  was totally lost on me untill very late in the day the light finally lit and I was like Oooooo...
Why no campaign against that? all body shapes are cool as long as u are healthy? or not?
About weight loss, nobody is talking about being stronger, Oh BTW if u think about being stronger and healthier rather than being thin with big boobs - u are a lesbian :-p
what about hair? or hair loss? bald men ?
let alone skin color, we judge people by dresses too...
I dont like men who wear cuff links :D

We may consciously say no to being superficial, but superficiality runs deep. we like people who look like us. We may say fair is beautiful, but we like people who are like us.

Coming to the point- what about discrimination based on social background and culture. I look down upon people who are on social benefits.

saying fair is beautiful dark is not - is superficial
saying only 36-24 -36 figure is beautiful - is superficial
saying only men with hair on head are handsome is superficial? [but my dad is bald and I think he is very handsome :D ]
but the fact is we like one type and dont like some other... some women like cute faces and some like rugged, some like facial hair and some hate...to an extent it is superficial but it is no crime surely?
It becomes a crime when the likes and dislikes start becoming discriminating? but the line is very thin.
Isnt giving importance to education also some kind of superficiality?
like how Sheldon is obsessed with Phd .. superficial?
when does preference become superficiality, when does it become racist?

There was this quiz which had interesting questions like
do u think it is racist if a person wants to be friends with people of his own race - YES
do u think it is racist if a person wants to marry people of his own race- yes...
do u think it is racist if a person wants to marry people of his own religion - no...
Why is this any different? hmmm it is not. the difference of what is acceptable and not is very superficial.

slowing down

Everyone is walking fast, everyone is overtaking me.. everyone is doing things so fast.Everyone is in a hurry. I want to keep my slowness. I want to wash my glass easily, I dont like the fast thing
am I more yin than yang
my natural speed is slow and relaxed, even if I want to do somethign fast I want to do it relaxed not hurriedly. 

LOL! not after starting insanity workout, These workouts are so aggressive and yang. Now I want to kick the asses of laid back peoples like me on the day I do Insanity and I am the laid back on the days I do yoga :D

autistic people cant figure out emotions in others but do feel empathy.
psychopaths are charming and able to read and manipulate emotions in others exceedingly well but dont actually feel empathy.
kind of opposites.

Beautiful underarms are a sign of inner beauty :D

Beautiful underarms are a sign of inner beauty :D

ask Dove - and their very successful marketing campaign.

How companies are scrambling to get on the socially progressive bandwagon.

some are crude and some are very subtle and quite impressive in hiding their hungry fangs trying to dip into ur purse.

crude
This ad thinks it promotes women empowerment - Heavy gold plated woman/bride with a proud expression - "I didnt choose my Husband but I can chose my jewellery" If it was being sarcastic, It would have been very funny. 

Mom! I dont want to get married, Mom takes daughter jewellery shopping, daughter is so excited about gold jewellery, she agrees to gets married.Aiyo no Its not trivializing women, this actually is supposed to  be women's empowerment.

Subtle ones which take you at first glance

Kellogs - All they are saying is - try to fit into the ideal of a slim woman defined by us, by  eating 3 bowls of corn shit each day! and for doing that u get the title of real empowered woman who has control of her life or  something like that. 

Dove - Dove actually makes some really sensible ads about women empowerment,  like dove run like a girl campaign which was all right, but what has that got to do with dove? They are just nice and promoting a social cause?  what dove really wants is for u to be beautiful overall, like by having beautiful under arms!!!! with 1/4 moisturiser in their deo to keep your under arms wriknkle free! They are trying NLP to make u associate Dove with the current it-thing social cause but Thats as superficial as beautiful underarms for you!

Advertisers are sly manipulative lowly worms.

love spray

ha ha not like that, english is very limited in words for love,  It is overloaded like crazy to mean sex to affection to casual liking (i love icecream) and is the only powerful word to describe such emotions at that.( words that i know of anyway)  I mean it in the sense of affection/heart melted by looking at sunset, universal love kind of way. not passion or romantic love.

so sydney hostage crisis, instead of trying  to use a snipper or trying to kill the man with bullets, cant they pump some gas to make him fall unconscious? some harmful, quick acting gas? it may act ofn other people before acting on him and he may get a que and start shooting ( in some cases trigger a bomb) Or may be hallucinogenic gas, which makes the terrorists really confused but then it could go really un predictable!

what about love gas( eeks ! ppl always use word love in kinky way x-( , love gas sounds dirty) i meant like oxytocin or something, which promotes affection in the terrorists heart. 

lioness adopts deer, cat adopts chicks , under the influence of oxytocin n in case of cat , it was for life ,that bond.  so you pump oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins one and all into the room, terroriat starts feeling affectionate and loving towards his victims, feels remorse, surrenders and  happy ending. Ta da!!! 

same with  other violenent peopele, instead of using pepper spray how bout love spray? taxi driver is trying to rape. affection spray!  starts feeling this tugging in his heart, suddenly want to nurture and protect the victim, feels like shit about himself commits suicide!. hope that spray doesnt affect you and you wont call the police because u felt sorry for that bastard and rescue him! 

Anyway worth a shot!!

For that matter take it one step further - chemical warfare - Spray on entire ISIS territory! what will happen? Pump prozac through water lines, every body will be giddy with happiness, even tho temporarily. Will it work? What hasnt anyone done it yet?  too expensive or is arms industry lobby  against this for obvious reasons.
Well wars are not fought by angry young men ( well on the ground may be ) but its the cold calculating power hungry men sitting at the top who are doing wars...so Dont think oxytocin or prozac will cut it with those Bushes and Putins..

random

When do we help people by telling them things and when are we being stupid by assuming other people dont know anything   when they probably know more than us.
When I say stupid people follow tradition, give mandatory gift etc... I m probably doing the same, they probably know things I dont, how to maintain relationships etc and I m being a fool?
Things should change may be - but One way it is not gonna happen is by calling other people - bad names.

This requires us to understand and be more tuned into people??
or better tuned to ourself? Am I giving gyan to help or to show that I know better? is it a ego deal or a genuine concern?
sometimes ego is hidden behind genuine concern?

empathy is what causes irritation in us when we see someone wearing uncomfortable clothes or have piercings which we feel are uncomfortable, empathy makes us feel like we have them ourselves.
embarrassment especially we feel embarrassed for others
empathy BTW is our reaction to their situation may not be in tune with what they are feeling in their situation?
do we try to change other and be controlling sometimes because of empathy?

value of life

value of 1 European/American life = 10 Asian lives = 100 African lives.

Ferry capsizes in South Korean, Its PM resigns, people all over the world cry for the drowned people. People in my office followed the news and cried. After a month a ferry capsized in Bangladesh - hardly made any news. Nobody cried for Bangladeshis. 200 girls kidnapped in Nigeria makes news after 3 weeks, 1 girl missing in Britain causes news the next day.
Thats the way the world is. Its not others who value us like that, Its how we value ourselves. Bangladeshis or Indians wouldnt even dream that any minister would resign because of a few 1000 deaths. But Koreans did. People cried because people themselves values themselves. We dont value our life,especially poor/rural life. I think 1 urban indian life = 5-10 rural lives.
Even the burden on earth is like wise. 1 UK person is as much a burden on earth as 100 Indians. Heating, Elecricity, food , waste - everything. 1 UK person sucks out 100 times more out of this earth than Indian in everyway. Population of India is alarming! but I think even a slight increase in population in developed nations should be seen with alarm.   Population should be balanced with weights like this from now on.

When people say girls are not good at maths I get wild!
but when people say most of the criminal/terrorist and socially disruptive are young males. I nod and agree
Am I sexist?
just like I am good at maths A,S and V are perfectly sane and not prone to aggression/criminal-terrorist activity :D . Why dont I object to the second meme?

answer: Thats because they are not stereotyping young men as aggressive, they are stereotyping agressive people as young men. Got it? 
Its like saying all those who didnt do well in maths are girls, that's  different from saying all girls are bad at maths. 

Is it helping

What is the use of it
what benefit are u getting
Is it helping

Grrrr Really irritating! Ok not spiritual, this  getting irritated. I know but I not there yet ok?
When ever I do something - like Yoga or meditation or something fun
People ask me such questions, especially with meditation. did it help? with what?
Why should we do everything with this kind of attitude? It really annoys me because I am trying to get away from it and when people ask, that plants a worm in my head and I start thinking did it help? what is the use of this and then something that was so fun and wonderful becomes a chore. It rots and dies ;-) (Dramatics :P just because :P )
Cant we do something just because? Why? Just because.
people even sometimes say , if it doesnot "help" .... isnt it a waste of time! :-S 
coursera course.. just for fun, psychology - yeah just for fun ,why not? When u can drink - just for fun? and meet people - just for fun?
I went to a dance class - Is it good? Yeah it was great fun... then the other questions . Did u lose weight? Are u thinner? how many calories does it burn? :-(
no no no dont think like that... when walking to the station dont think its so far how much time it will take. just concentrate on this step and then this one and then this one...
No external motivators, internal ones.. no need or progress bars, no need of carrots - all those steal away from us the joy of being. just be!

ps: This exercise thing -  I am enjoying doing yoga, makes me feel wonderful, endorphins and being able to do head stand and all.. cool! but the moment I weight myself - All this falls apart. what all I did becomes "waste". Didnt I enjoy it? yes, hasn't it made me healthy, stronger, stretchier - Yeah, but No matter - Its all waste!!! because you didnt meat the objective. This goal setting and progress measuring is soul sapping, Our new culture based exclusive on this is the one that is WASTE! It takes away everything  and leaves me with an emtpy score - Pass/Fail. Even the happiness of pass is short lived and insecure :-( I hate this.

Ursula Le Guin

Ursula Leguin is a science fiction writer!
Duh! how could I have missed that?
I read her earth sea series which is fantasy, zenish. I really liked it. I must have stereotyped her as fantasy writer...I love Sci-fi I have been looking for Sci-fi all over the world, I love Ursula.. How come I never looked to see what all she has written? I believe that I do look up authors, tho I dont remember their names. I milk them for all content. apparently I dont. 
strange.
anyway really enjoyed reading left hand of darkness. yeah It does not really feel like sci-fi but it is.Gonna lap it out!