Summary of dreams book

I read the dream diary thing article and this is what came out of that

1) rewind your day for ten minutes before you go to bed. dont try to recollect everything just the emotional highs lows and anything that catches ur eye. dont analyse and think, just touch over everyhting. this will help clear the mind and give rise to more interesting dreams

2) keep a dream diary - write down the dreams

3) if u want to remember the dreams stay in the same position as when u woke up. that way it is easier to remember them

4) dreams become longer as u complete more sleep cycles, so better dreams come early in the morning. napping is good because body mostly makes up for REM in the afternoon sleep.

5) asking for things in the dream etc.. these are advanced practices.

6) make ur bedroom a santuary - make a sleep ritual so that as soon as u start the ritual body knows that it has to sleep. light aromatheraphy candels clean sheets etc

7) body asleep mind awake means sleep paralysis not just relaxed body.

8) hypogognia.. stay as awake as possible untill the last minute ( but this makes me stay awake for a long time, even body doesnot fall asleep :) just still.)

He touched upon dream yoga by tibetan monks then he continues aboout dream interpretation. there are many ways of dream interpretation than which may be given in a book and it is very personal for us. it really helps if u keep a dream journal as u can connect dreams

9) dream journaling - just start as soon as possible, but it may be a long long time before u start to remember the dreams, have patience. 1) U can have a table lamp so that if u wake up in the middle of the night u can write in the lamps light. 2) Just jot down basics and then complete the journal later in the day , in commute or in the time when u read the news paper. inhibit your instincts to complete the story or make a more sensible stroy out of the dream, if u are getting that instinct write down both the versions of the stroy.

10) May be being vegeterian will help in better dream recall ( that is why I had closer OBE type things in Jindal? )

Book2 Shadows book

talks of something very similar to louise hay, but I liked it more when louise told it.

shadow or collective unconsciousness

we should accept and embrace our darkside only then we will be whole

basic ideas are same as being conscious of our feelings and accepting all feeling whether bad or good

being sympathetic towards ourselves

all feeling when accepted will tell a story, we need to listen to this and remember it, we should not reject this. this may be from our childhood. we should accept and the dark feeling may go away.

I didnt take home much and didnt like this book much :-( I think it was the American accent that is jarring on an ebook...felt like a sell.. telemarketing.

Gyan (for myself :D)

Thoughts are like ripples on the surface of the lake.. the core of the lake remains calm.. it doesnot shake or ripple with the wind on the surface..

desires - like desire for good food or coffee or for a rest for sleeping 10 minutes more.. are also ripples on the surface of the lake.. the core remains calm

emotions are like ripples on the surface... I am sad, I am irritated, angry, are ripples the core remans calm and serene...

some emotions are stronger like waves but the bottom of the lake.. nothing stirs..

Its good to remember this when feeling strong emotions, when unwanted desires like a chocolate tempt you when on diet like when lazyness or tiredness tempts you when trying to exersice.. that they are just ripples on the surface and they will pass after a short time.. wait and watch the lake.. the ripples will slowly stop after 5 mins ...its a game of patience...restlessness again is just a ripple... you feel ripples of restlessness, again watch that too...remember the core, remeber that all this will pass even huge waves...

Thoughts cause emotions, and emotions in turn bring up similar thoughts its a spiral...before it gets out of control always observe what it is bringing up..which thought led to which emotion... and which emotion to which thought...

About thoughts - thought are chosen by me.. at the root of it. when any unwanted thought comes to mind remember - I chose this thought. These thoughts, they cause the emotions which seem uncontrollable but they are just ripples on the lake - u can sit them out.. not resist..we need resistance to move right like in vacuum we cannt walk. Without resistance the ripples will fade away.

[Borrowed gyan from here and there.. good to remember when things are stormy ]

words...
Tranquility - turquoise lake among emerald mountains...small ripples deep lake windless stillness...

this is the image that comes up in the mind...searched for tranquility on google images many images that turned up were like this too..

peace - white

calm - white

serene -blue

tranquil - turquoise (because the words start similarly?) how different is serene from tranquil really?)

love - pink white gold

beauty - gold purple pink

life - green
music...

lonley shepherd - high mountains with dark green think forest a clearing a person standing and an eagle flying.. the camera angle is as if the eagle is seeing the person in the clearing then person becomes small and eagle is flying among mountains snow + rich dark green thick forests.

Om mani padme hum - snow covered Himalayas... peace... aerial view...sometimes ground level with colorful bald smiling children/monks(?) in red, brown wooden square houses...
Western classical music - Tom and Jerry

haage sumne old cribbings( for myself)

Sumne people will complain not interesting, what all u  are posting? anta, 

so I have started putting * and disclaimer in small print (for myself) anta :))

I keep regretting my decisions , on hidesight that too

It may not be that the consequence of the decision is really bad but I regret and I regret and I keep mulling over - What wud have happened if I had made a different choice.

No I don’t mull over options, I mull over reasons why this particular decision in the past has led to a bad situation today.

One very silly reason - This is about taking the certification program for pranic helaing.

Now I am regretting it, it took away 2 weekends lot of my work is pending I shouldn’t have done it.

If I hadn’t done I wud have new regrets? Like I am having for not doing crystal healing course.

I let others opinions influence me, for one. And another is that I keep regretting.

I should observe and let go of this habit.[Still valid]

I will feel really much happier if I do this. May be it is just lack of confidence is decisions? No it’s just this silly habit,   I am doing this even about trivial things. 

I do this even when I take a route to office or back home... if there is traffic jam, I sometimes find myself wondering if this is the most optimum route.. but I guess thats ok, as long as I m not regretting it..

[Old days - year ago.. I think I am almost over this problem? Atleast this time I took steps instead of( along with :P) counting ways in which any decision was wrong]

I should improve will power. Heart and mind are ok, will is not so well

I am not happy with the efforts I put into anything and I feel inadequate, this is what is waking me up in the middle of the night. I am too tired to really try and do more . I just sit on my ass and I don’t really do much?  Is it the feeling that I don’t do much that is wrong or I really don’t do much, that is for me to decide. I should either do more or stop worrying that I don’t do enough. This is really worrying me.

[Now I think about what JK says - when u want to become something , u are never really fulfilled! the solution is to just be! This was during the busy shifting to UK time... no such problem or thoughts now :-) Actually the old old problem of waking up at 4 worried had disappeared since I joined this job! god hope it doesnot come back!] ]

I probably need to be lil more willfull. Push myself lil more??? I need to think about this because I may be getting influenced by what my parents think I should do or what I think my parents think I should do. Expectations..

U cud have advertised car before. I cud have done more with the transition, I cud have done more as the team leader. I can help more at home. I am not getting hands on exp in office,[Bull! :-) didnt need any! I guess like swimming u cant forget being a developer] I am not even copying code etc. [S is always there :D encyclopedia :D] I cud have tried harder to get that job in UK. I am not sure I shud have tried because I want some time off. I always want time off. I am not exzersicing I am not doing meditation daily. [come on! already too much on your plate] I always do everything in the last minute.[so? thats my style I do pull it off dont I?] I am not meeting my expectations. Expectations are high or efforts are low I am not sure.[ Just beating myself up for no reason there! It was loads of things to finish and alone at that. All I want to say year ago deepa is Just chill! babes :D :P]

I am really averse to working hard. . I am not averse to hard work only to that work which is not in my mind, I worked like a donkey in the garden, but driven work like my parents always keeping busy is not my cup of tea. but my own self seems to feel I shud put lil more effort into life than what I am doing now and I get worried. [ yeah again getting worried thinking about what others want me to do. when that others are very close people like parents and it is subtle things .. we forget this! 
Seriosuly what is wrong with my parents! why they work like that!!!! I remember that day when  my house was getting painted.. Crazy people cleaned and cleaned and I cleaned with them and fell sick! It was like almost 10 hours of cleaning from morning to night. They dono how to relax!]

fears(for myself)

J Krishnamurthy is very good. I didnt feel like that at the beginning of the book, but half way through I am liking him a lot, he says why do u want "to become", just "be" and understand what u are. Observe yourself and understand what is happening without judgement and without trying to change urself. I really liked that

Our minds are full of conditioning and patters from parents, religion, society, TV, friends everything. If you want to see reality then u have to know these patterns and break away from them. ( this theme is repeated everywhere in OBEs, Pranic healing, Vivekananda... )

Another thing I liked about JK is he compares all these revolutions like communism, revolt against corruption for example, attempt to change society, jihad.. all as revolt with in the prison. you are revolting with in the confines of what u already know.. u are asking the warden for better food and bedding but u are not thinking of going out of the prison. This is true of feminist ideas and our rebelling against traditions as well unless you fully understand why u are taking a particular stand.  The real revolt is somewhere father away or rather closer - its in our head.

Observations:

-fear that someone is coming from the opposite side in the hallway and I have to talk them. want to take detour just to avoid talking. What am I afraid of? just a hi will do? I dont like the silence? no! Small talk is boring and it drains me. but when I dont talk I feel like a morose person.

-confusion - should I smile at this person or not...well it may be UK but I dont wish everyone on the street so thats the decision made. not smiling at strangers its not my style.
-fear of giving people ideas! ( seriously!) guy with very 2 cute dogs in park. usually I would pet the dogs but guy is also cute, so I wont!! I ll just avoid. I wonder if the person who has ideas is me or the guy! :D  anyway I run faster, but out of breath have to sit down on a bench! it will look like I am sitting on the bench just so that i can talk to the guy!!! anyway I put an end to all sillyness I call the doggy, pet it and tell that guy very cute dogs! what are their names how old ! so sweet! ok bye! that was easy and not even draining small talk. and no body got any ideas.! sheesh! sometimes our minds are shit!
another fear - dont talk to some people on tube because I will have to talk even next day and I wont have anything to talk and then it will become draining.
fear of spoiling while using new things for experiments like with t shirts or paper.
Saving - biryani why to put good ghee, let me put half good ghee and half store bought one. add little bit more water to chutney then I can eat it two days. let me put half ground nut and half coconut!! god! just go and buy another coconut! ok atleast good ghee is understandable because mom made it. I dont have the need to skimp but sometimes I do.
fear that I am wasting.. want to take even the last drop out of mixie because mom used to. I am too lazy to get to the last bit but wasting... is bad. These days i let it go, no time no patience low priority.
fear of spoiling books - by making dog ears, underlining, writing with pen!! Gasp!! yeah This is not at all my ideas of how books should be handled, it is borrowed from here and there.. I like my book well worn with my stamp on them. so now if I want to book mark a page I fold it. I underline with pen and make notes in the margins! I will fold the book in half too.. sorry if u dont like it.
fear of being watched and laughed at when i get too engrossed in meditation. ends up in opening one eye at times.
fear of being shouted at when trying to move furniture at home or buying new furniture etc again this fear is superseeded by much stronger defiance  so things do get done.
fear of failure when trying new recipe... or when adding new ingredient, but this fear is too small compared to the spirit of experimentation so new ingredients and new ways always win and get tried :D
fear of things slipping out of my head after reading interesting things... this I mentioned before also...

Genie

Once upon a time there was a merchant in Persia..you know how it was in Persian in those days.. he found a lamp and he rubbed it and Voila!! Genie!! this was not the 3 wishes regular genie tho.. He said I will grant u thousand wishes master.. or more! There is no limit !
Wonderful!!!
but! But! he said ( there is always a but! no?) but you cannot let me sit idle for even a moment. As long as you have me occupied, as long as you have work for me, you are safe(!!!!) As soon as I run out of work I m going to eat you and I will be free...
and the story continues in many ways... always happy ending with merchant winning, some say merchant asked Genie to count the number of grains in the desert, some say he asked the genie to build a long pole pour oil on it and them climb it, as soon as he climbed up , he slid down and was thus occupied for ever. ( somewhat like that cursed greek mythology guy who had to haul a rock up the hill only to throw it down. but not quite  )

I wonder if this Genie is an Allegory for our restless minds? and dont we, very much like the merchant give our genie - the mind some toy, some puzzle and useless repetitive task just so that it is occupied and does not bother us?

all in the mind

When people dismiss off things which they are not open enough to accept, they say its all in the mind. and they dont say it in a good way. This post by Ed on OBENewsletter on yahoo groups. Exactly what I feel so copy pasting it here


Here's what drives me crazy about these people and their explanations.

Everything we experience is processed by the brain. That does not mean we didn't experience anything.

When we walk, our feet touch the ground, the nerves in our feet send signals to our brain indicating that they
are perceiving the weight of our body on them, the tactile sensation of the ground we're walking on, and the
liquid in our inner ear senses motion.

Now consider telling a person who took a walk that they didn't actually take a walk. What they perceived as walking
was nothing but chemical reactions and neurons firing in the brain giving you the sense that you were touching the
ground, feeling your weight and moving forward.

Of course the brain processed this data! That doesn't mean the person didn't take a walk.

The only difference between the brain processing a walk and an astral walk is that you can't see the later objectively.
Therefore, to science-minded sheep, the astral walk didn't happen. But their logic is ridiculous.

When you're angry, the brain releases certain chemicals. That doesn't mean someone didn't piss you off.

back pain

Different techniques to improve ergonomics and get rid of RSI's pains and aches....
guess what?! most are based on awareness...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feldenkrais_Method
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_technique

very good and friendly thread on improving posture, I got these above methods from this...
http://ask.metafilter.com/144286/How-to-improve-my-posture
lot of people rooting for yoga too, again boils down to awareness..
Everything in life - Vivekanada book, J Krishnamurthy book,  even M's advise, Dad also, all pointing to more awareness! Its like "be aware" week/month or something!

BTW I got this one
http://www.perfectpostureuk.com/
Instead of craving for a back massage everyday and not actually getting one on the weekend, I decided to get rid of the root cause - slouch, probably keeping back straight will help? just awareness is not enough for me. I need some hooks and clips and straps to keep me straight.

Restlessness

I notice a restlessness in me.

It feels like there is lot more bandwidth in my head than what is required for the current task..
Listening to some audio book/chanting along with doing work.. split attention seems to solve this restlessness problem.

Am I just looking for something more meaningful/satisfying, I am always checking mail, replying immediately, chatting etc. Its like an addiction! I do manage to get work done in time !but it is not single minded concentration.

Feeling that it is slipping away. Fear and kind of panic of loosing what I am thinking and of things which I am reading, going away without making an impact. This is especially strong when I am reading something which really makes sense  and which I want to incorporate in my life.

 I have decided to make notes after reading such books. Fiction is ok, but when u read non fiction I want to make a summary of sorts of what I  learnt so that it stays in.

hmmm! This after knowing that brain making complete recording of every moment of waking/probably even sleeping life!  why cant I just trust my subconscious to take notes and make amends as required?

Intuition and instinct

 Intuition and instinct! what is the difference? premonition - does it at all belong to the same class?

There is a very fine line between these two, I would like to have great instinct and intuition but what exactly does it mean? By having better instincts Ill be able to play better sports for one, catch a fast ball,

Intuituin will  guide me to take better decisions like buy good stocks :P warn me of things to come - company going down. Tsunami coming( this in animals is called instinct ...)  etc? or Train is going to meet with accident today, stay home etc?

Animals have very good instincts. Its like have a very fine tuned machine ( body and mind in sync). Quick reflexes. God given so to say. Auto reflexes. Advanced alertness.  What is used in Martial arts.. Like quickening of of pulse, adrenalin when u sense danger. Even tho consciously u dont feel danger ur hair stood up.etc. Associated with Navel Chakra. This is more like primal, hard coded as part of evolution generations( of species) ago. Like bird building nest, mother caring for kids etc. Being civilized, we often ignore these.

Intuition is apparently a higher faulty. Pranic haling talk of intution as when u get in touch with ur higher self or the soul itself. I know the feeling of this. Its more like knowledge than sense? I know things. If I obseve this it feels like my subconscious mind did a lot thinking and just gave he final answer of sorts. When doing math problems for a long time , after a while u just start getting the answers without intermediate steps - Is this intuition? Its definitely not instinct. Its not premonition. :=P

Intution is stronger when I let it flow, it comes out rather than thinking it out. for example you just ramble along and then  u start saying things which make sense. I was joking with a friend once, speaking nonsense then suddenly I was like - that time 2 years ago, u din come for a trip because of some reason - It was a lie right? She was shocked - I was shocked. I didnt think of this at all. It just came out. She was like - U know me too well. Does this qualify as intuition? Somewhere in the background this thread was running that the reason which was given was inconsistent. may be she told somehting similar again and sub conscious mind connected the dots and gave this conclusion. Atleast I like to think this is how intuition works. Really finely honed brain probably uses lot more parameters catches lot more inconsistents and then concludes lot more accurately. That is a person with high intuition. Again such answers are ignored by us because we dono how exactly they were arrived at.

So higher sense awareness = Insitct.

Background+ quick thinking ( which includes a lot more parameters than usual conscious thinking) = Intuition.

Pranic healing wise the difference is between Navel Chakra and Agnya Chaka. Navel Chakra is the center for instinct and Agnya Inutition.

Tsunami coming may be instinct for animals but intuition for you, you saw a program about tsunami's in Japan in Nat geo and then u saw the signs in real life , life the sea moved back etc.. and u unconsciously concluded Tsunami then it becomes Intuition. or if u were aware of concluding it becomes plain intelligence :D 

Premonition can be a side effect of having good instints as well as good intuition. 

When u come home and suddenly u feel - Theif inside - careful.  because u noticed things like the door bolt is slightly off. dust on the door is cleared etc. i mean u notice unconsciously. This is intuition or instinct? Intuition no?

When the theif tries to hit u with a rod, u bend down suddenly and let ur wife standing behind get hit - That is good instinct :D  no, its not a thin line, its quite clear. I think in instinct its got to do more with the spinal chord reflex action and stuff

Insinct is like data mining and stuff.

3 interesting dreams

Some times these days I  get dreams which are more like sensations rather than situations.

This one was interesting. I felt I was sleeping in a wooden box, I felt nice and warm, I liked the wood.. then I realised... ummm may be this is a coffin :) then the lid closed. wooden lid. It didn't hamper my breathing. I felt warm and safe and nice, but then I felt, I want to be buried in mud and not in coffin! The lid was removed and mud started falling on me. In the background I was awake/aware. I am thinking yeah! Its nice to be buried like in a muslim funeral than christian one. Then I did away with the box completely, I was surrounded by earth... I was still breathing! It felt nice... felt like a cocoon. nice! I felt like an earth worm! I moved around in the mud, loose warm slightly moist earth leaving holes behind. Then I relaxed and then ..I forgot.. it lasted longer than this...and I enjoyed it a lot later too. may be just the mud sensation. yeah.. I tried to go in deep into earth to meet the hot lava! I could see orange yellow but the feel was still cool. Then I remember thinking I should check on internet  if anyone tried to go into  the earth during astral travel!

That weekend,I spent the whole day in a rose garden, reading some a spritual book. It did feel meditative. some how end of the day I was unusually tired. a nice warm bath didnt help much with the body ache. Also whole week I have been trying out some imagination exercies. a tip I got from one OBE book - use ur imagination when ever u can. so i imagine wings on myself when jogging.  Imagine myself dancing in the tube etcetc :D its fun anyway.

About 2 at night, I was awake and not getting any sleep.I was trying to relax. I started feeling some tactile sensations, like I was, my body was moving about in a boat or something. My eyes were open( or so I thought ) I could see dim twilight in the room. I am wondering what was happening! sometimes stronger sensations like my body was being tossed around etc.  I was enjoying this sensation, Then I slept on my back. felt stronger vibrations and buzzing. I was very happy  all this was interesting. Then a movie screen like thing opens up in front of me and I see myself in that - Its just like a movie screen - 2D, myself roaming around in a field. At first it took up just quarter of my vision and then it filled up the whole vision (I dono when it was full screen whether it was 3D or still 2D) then I could toggle back between the two :)  I was thinking is this a dream? or what is this? and Then I really woke up! So the whole thing was a dream after all! I did feel  I was awake and feeling all those sensations. may be just the second part about the movie screen like thing was a dream? and the first part lucid dream?

This one is more like impression than dream..

I did twin heart meditation ( In the tube, can u believe that? :D) It involves blessing mother earth. In the middle of the meditation, I was blessing mother earth with loving kindness, pinking gold light entering earth and all the beings on earth. I imagined each persons heart lighting up with pink energy,  I imaged same lighted heart inside of earth. ( I try and make it all fun, it my imagination anyway) Then I  hugged Gaia, a mother figure inside of earth. Inspired by some recent reads. This was all voluntary imagination meaning  I was doing all the imagination. I felt lot of warmth and love from her. After this, the images became involuntary...like a dream but I was awake...

Mother figure turned into a  straw man/mummy type of figure,  threadbare and broken around the edges type, he was not zombie, but lifeless and inert. He was bent like he was sitting but he was not sitting on anything. I thought, Ok this is one aspect of mother earth which probably needs blessing. needless to say I didnt feel warmth at this point. :-) Then I blessed this man/doll/statue with loving kindness...imagined him being filled with golden/pink light( this was Voluntary) He fattened out a lot, and became alive/animated. He had the face on his stomach. the head shape was still there but eyes lips nose were on the stomach. the features were like Mayan gods, Actually Indian demons also look like that but the mouth was on the stomach and head was just a stub. He was stocky,square and a crude figure. He looked like he was carved out of a block of wood and not made of straw as before. I continued blessing. He came towards me, passed through me. continued going away behind me. He became smaller and smaller and I think he was climbing a mountain, It was a steep mountain with a narrow top.by the time he reached the top he became a small baby,normal cute baby with a bald head. he was playing with the clouds. Untill this point the images were predominantly yellow/orange/ pink/red, now they become blue,violet grey like night. and...then I started seeing faces.. huge faces in the sky, just the features eyes nose lips, proper beautiful faces like someone would draw. not cloud faces, just glimpses. I think by this time it was voilet /maroonish. at this point I thought what happened to straw/man/ baby it has disappeared into clouds. I think there faces were more like hypnogogic imagery..Then meditation continued. Its fun! all this in the tube ride pretending to be asleep :) ( got down at the right stop BTW :P)

puny program called ego ?

[This may be repetitive, but what the heck! I want to get this cleared in my head! ok! ]

Reading "The Man who mistook his wife for a hat!" Yeah yeah still reading since months now..

There are many cases. Its not really that interesting but the working of the brain leaves a lot to think about. For example - these twins.  They are Autistic Twins , They have IQ of 40-60 which is quite low. But they are math geniuses. In a weird way . They cannot add or subtract.. they dono what addition/subtraction means, but they can say what day, any date will be. for eg 2054 april 4^th – they’ll say if it is Sunday/Monday etc,, even 80000 years ahead/back.

They can also compute prime numbers.. to the order of say 20 digits.. which was almost impossible even for computers in 1960s.. the doctor couldn’t even verify that those numbers were prime after they crossed eleven digits. The twins played a game.. throwing prime numbers at each other and enjoying it… that’s it. One comes up with a prime. he tells it out, other one savours it.. it  seems like they got a lot of joy out of contemplating on primes…

When a pack of matches fell to the ground, they instantaneously called out hundred and eleven. It turns out the number of matches that fell down were 111. When the doc asked what 111? they said 37, 3 times…   37 is prime..

I am thinking,  its not like they have some special ability. all of us have this ability, but because of damage to other parts of the brain, This has come out into conscious level.  Its like after an accident, u can see the insides of a car running? Or during operations, we see the heart beating? like that, but in software sense.

Obviously our brains do lot of computing,  when Richard Dawkins  talks of how bats detect prey using sonar.. the theory of how it is done is pretty complex, and the bat brain does this pretty well. So the software to do this is in bat brain, but obviously bat does not “know” how to compute this. If u gave it an exam paper saying - u are traveling at 8 kmph and there is a 10 feet high tree at a distance of 50 meters in front of u.. bla b la, It will flunk. But bat brain... it knows and it is doing all these computations, all the time, very accurately. so life mein, bat is Pass!:P all right.. It must be using lot of maths to do it? Obviously, just like we must be doing a lot of real time math calculating trajectory etc to catch a ball. I guess somehow prime numbers come into this equation. somehow. I think brain does not use the same method of doing calculations as we do today. There are more advanced methods which we are yet to discover. Which probably involves calculating using primes? Hash tables full of huge primes? ! May be may not be, anyway  … so when brain has malfunctions these prime numbers may just spill out. Ego got access to one of the system processes?  I also think when we do things which are aligned with how our brain works we are more satisfied and happier? ( what do I mean by aligned?- when conscious mind unconsciously mirrors the algorithm of the subconscious? :D LOL! this is just blade!)  When we learn the API and pass on things to be processed in the subconscious, than do conscious tedious processing. we are happier and quicker and correct? This is what spirituality means- by getting in touch with your higher soul?

Next question, We have all these complex and sophisticated software in our head but our conscious  program the ego program( let us call it that, I am not sure this is consistent with with Freud and Carl Jung and all. I haven’t read them).. it struggles to do even 12*8?!? Our brain is running billions of instructions per minute so to say. It has hardwired programs of unbelievable complexity!! and this program… it’s a puny stunted small useless program!! Isn’t it? What does it do? Make a few decisions? Takes a long time to learn anything at all.. It has very less permissions also..memory access..  There was another case where a lady could hear actual songs in her head. Beat to beat -just like a radio. she in fact mistook it for some radio being on. but songs were some 40/50 year old. This, following some seizures.  That means brain has recorded  with all sense details like smell ,sound picture, touch probably balance etc most of our life! and it does not delete anything . But what does conscious mind get to access? Nothing! not even the tip of the ice berg! Why??

 Its not even that it can make independent decisions, all decisions are heavily manipulated and influenced by subconscious! It has control of all information. Logic? U say? U need to look at a few usecases to know how easily logic can be subverted by a clever subconscious.  

I m thinking why at all have this puny ego program? Self important puny program. Its like UI. It thinks It is doing all the work! but it is doing nothing! J

 Why does such a sophisticated brain which does everthing need an ego program?  What evolutionary advantage did this bring about? Do Insects also have this ?

 Re-reading this post, I got this answer. Thinking about bat brain.  We need to think about evolution. Compare bat brain with human brain. The most growth in brain has probably happened in the ego part or  how much the consciousness knows. Sonar complexity and complexity of our eyes may be in par , even bat brain can compute primes but consciously…not.

 One reason I can think of for this strengthening of ego program is to make the system( animal) more generic. You don’t hard code much, so run time u can load what ever software u like. So instead of making coffee machine, u make a PC and load coffee making software if u like or tea making software or cola.

So the only use of ego is to decide which program to load based on the situation? Couldn’t they( Grrr not being creationist here.. just easy expression)  automate this feature as well? But automation takes time, fastest adaptaion time is possible by using a user i.e the ego program which knows the basics?

 Do Insects also have this ? probably not, I think insects are very fine tuned robot machines. Just look at evolution, if u move to even fish – awareness is far less. Not of environment but of self, the animal is not allowed to move away much from what it is designed to do. So the opposite side of the scale - the pinnacle of evolution is - the Buddha who is aware of everything ! :D

How to take good decisions :-D

 I made a adivse list for myself!  do and donts for making decision from my experience, your comments and additions to this are most welcome! 

 

1)      Don’t take decision for others.. what will others think kar ke u shouldn’t take decision. But others are important, give them reasons they want to hear for u taking different decision from what they think u should have taken, these reasons may not really be valid for u, they may be fictious but u and they will feel better for having done this. all are convinced.

 

2)      Gut feel – gut feel is really good. Follow ur gut!

 

3)      Don’t take just logical decisions- it is not wholesome. Ur logic may leave out a big piece of reality. Logic is important to give u a good picture, but scoring and balance sheet listing positives and negitves approach may work for others , its good to have that sheet. But for somebody who has passion and who needs that emotional touch, this may not work well.  Give logic appropriate weightage but not all weightage.

 A adds: At the end, the happiness comes when u are happy with ur decision. And even though u could logically say this decision is better, ur mind might say the other way. In that case even if its a good decision, the right decision is when u are happy(emotional) about the decision.

 

4)      Fancy and dream decisions- they never come true.  Don’t follow. But how to differentiate between gut feel and day dreams?

A adds: Esp Dont make  greedy decisions... Based on money, based on attraction :) etc etc... 

6)      How do u feel after making a decision? like ur stomach is churning or as if u are on cloud nice. It’s a good idea to listen to ur feelings after making ur decision and then give it sometime and then make ur decision public

7)      Don’t take a quick decision just because the process of being in indecision is making u very uncomfortable. Don’t take a tactical decision just to pacify this itch so to say. Accept the discomfort that exisct until decision is made, it is unavoidable.

A adds: dont stay in Indecision either, by  procrastinating forever. Does human brain by default avoid reaching conclusions on negative issues? See if u are just being indecisive just because the decision is unplesant.

8)      Don’t look for signs!! unless u are hopelessly into it or a hopeless romantic :D. Its just an excuse for getting rid of the responsibility of taking the decision. U will interpret some nonsense as sign to get rid of making a decision.

 

9)      Take ur own decision. Don’t look  for others approval. You are an adult now. Parents, husband,Wife friends… take advise but decision is yours and yours only. 

 10)   No body can predict the future, its ok to make mistakes. Learn from them, don’t cry about them.(Ok u can cry for a short time :P) Don’t spend eternity trying to take that RIGHT decision.

11)  No decision is for ever. most decisions are not life changing.  Many are reversible.  If at a later point of time things become clear revert decisions. u are not Rajput. But this is not an excuse to be fickle. Fickle is huge drain on mental resources. Never be fickle.

12)   Make a list of all the correct decisions which u have taken or which have happened to you. U don’t want to analyse it, but just thinking about it makes u feel more confident about ur abilities. And sub conscious may just analyse and create a healthy algo to get right decisions for future. And don’t focus on how to not take wrong deiciosns too much, you should be positive. :-)

13)   Listent o all your fears, don’t try to ignore and subdue or underestimate any sentiment. You need to know why u are feeling like that about something… u may uncover an important reason which may change the decision.

 A adds:

One point I dont see u have touched on is the need to take random thrills :)... Like suddenly buying something fancy, or just going on a date... and exploring... or things like that :) yes... at times it good to just jump in and be spontaneous! forget about long process of making decisions.

I hate Biology??

Do what you love.

I am reading J Krishnamurthy, he has written a book for students (I dono how much of that students can really follow!!)

He says the main aim of our education system should be to help everyone find out what they really love. How correct!!!!! and how far away we still are from there. ( my alter ego- the stupid left brain thinker is asking, if everyone really does love something, Will everyone really find something they love and which will make money?? It is also asking if u will find someone who will love cleaning toilets and sweeping roads. If u dont who will. but I will explain to him( this stupid alter ego must be male :P) about how Americans thought slavery was absolutely necessary for exactly same kind of reasons.. later.)

In 8th standard, they were teaching us about types of leaves and plants and flowers. Our teacher asked us to make a chart with examples of different types of plants.. everyone made it on an a chart sheet, My collection was so huge, I had made it out of a bundle of sheets. I was guilty to buy new ones( Frugality?!!) so I had used my uncle's old drawing sheets to do it.

My teacher didnt see my passion, all she saw was that I had made the chart out of old brown sheets!!! Sorry - not good for display! Stupid woman!!! But I agree it was quite shabby out of old 1970’s Engnieering graphics sheets from my uncles engineering days! Ah those days when we tore out empty and one sided sheets out of our class notebooks to make the rough note book. (Recycling my ass!! These new age pretend recyclers cant hold a candle to our parents.)

My parents didnt too... Engineering and computers... actually it didnt help that I was so good at programming, almost a natural. There is a thin line between being good at something and being passionate! When u are good at something, u do want to do it again and agian and u soon mistake it to be love :D

My mum has not seen her own passion. She would have made the same chart out of 40 sheets. she loves plants... the tiny microscopic flowers in the road side, who else but me and mum will notice them and think they are beautiful? but she does not know. She didn’t teach me as such but somehow we both have the same habits. I think its her stories when we were kids about all those big brown fruits being filled with Sambar rice and Hurlikai palya and Kappa! :-) and she explained so much in detail about the tamarind tree, its new blooms, how they ate them. she has actually talked very beautifully about her childhood. Dad is a very good story teller. We have cassettes of that. When recording mom used to be worst story teller :D She used to read out horrible stories. But the other stories she used to tell, half from chandamama and half her own and stories of her childhood. That’s why balu mama is such a big hit with me!

My neighbours kids ask me if I am a Vet. They ask me Why amnt I? My count of picking up stray pups and kittens would be atleast 20. Ah! I didnt think of that when I was in 12th. I was focued on avoiding biology!! I dont want to be doctor! I want to be a engineer! If I do well in Bio I may be forced to be a doc!! How about a Vet? that option never cropped up!!

But without studying Bio seriously, scored more in Bio than Maths. Ive always pretended I love Maths.. I think I was just good at maths and I actually loved Bio. I advised people - Biology is very easy. U can pass without studying for it. My bro flunked his frist test because of that !:-D :) LOL! Bio was not easy, I just listened to my lectures so intently in Bio and I loved it, wasn't that why it was easy for me?? Was I totally blind? I used to read up chapters in Bio text book ahead of their completion when I was eating!!!! just for fun!!!

Thank god I didn’t imagine I was in love with organic chemistry or something! I was good at that too. J

Those neighbors' kids are so perceptive! now I think our civilazation is reaching a point where kids when they grow up will starting thinking bout doign their calling? right?

When will I?

... some sunny day

Aase ye Dukhake mula? Says Buddha..

But I have to agree with Rehman ( may be Mani ratnam?) more... Chiina china aasai…

I want to I want to I want to…

I love the "I want to do this!!" Feeling! I actually can measure how happy I am at any point of time by  counting how many things I want to do..

I don’t want to do anything = 2/10 happy.. I want to everything = 10/10 J

I am generally happy, so happy that so many aasaes are sprouting in my head.. must be the Sunshine today J

Mounted police – I want ride horse again..

I want to go to London bridge..( ah tower bridge or what ever)

I want to go camping some place...

I want to make gods place like in that korean movie...

I want to do pottery again..

I want to… I am happy.. there are these "I want to"s I missed them …