When did u become a liberal?

I am seriously offended by some blatant opportunistic communalisation happening right now. This guy clearly trapped and framed a few people to divert attention from how serious covid is. Pretneded to catch (Or really caught?) a scam and shamelessly blamed muslim workers, Unleashed a huge social media campaign against them and few others - a Muslim corporator and a Christian doctor. This is all standard right wing propaganda strategy.  My blood boils at such pieces of shit. I dont know if I should hate such bastards more if they were genuine in their hatered or if they are oppurtunistic ****s

Anyway the point is - some people  not offended by this, 2 types - those completly gone to the dark side - they are full-on on the hate side. They are like oh wow he is accusing muslims for crimes they didnt commit! Well done! They deserve it!! I hope they are punished. They are completely gone. no hope for them. 

Then there is another type , They let it pass. They make excuses for the guy. If he did a good job of catching a scam, it does not matter if he did a bad thing.  Well! it is all part of politics, Is there anyone else better? they are all the same. There is no hope for India ...  

I think, how can they not see this? how can they not see the propaganda? How can they tolerate this blatant shit?

Then I remember I supported Godi in 2014, He had come fresh off Godhra. He was accused of a genocide. I didnt believe it. I didnt believe he was involved in instigating the violence. How can you compare him to Hitler? It seemed excessive and over reaction to me.  

Then almost 6 years after, after seeing horrible forwards and messages from people, Now that people have started going Hail Hodi  I am realising what a fool I was. I think the people who saw it then, felt the same way about me as I m feeling about people who are not able to see the demon in Teju.  I was not full on dark side zombie but I didn't see. I think people who are not seeing now will also see like me sooner than later?

Timeline for when I started seeing that shit hit the fan

• Godi Govt Part 2 - social media propaganda shit
• Horrible forwards and hate among common people on Facebook
• Normal People going zombie and accusing muslims 
• Hating on NRI and foreigners, discrediting Academics and Liberals 
• blatant propagnada
• Party IT cell  - First felt Left was doing propaganda and had IT cells - I noticed that first, may be they started it first but right wing learnt fast and took it to another level all together . 
• PM cares fund not being used for migrant workers
• Sushant Singh media distraction and AI study 
• The last straw - Disha Ravi arrest

Similarly, there is a timeline for when I became non liberal as well, the milestone on that journey would be  Cancel culture, Choice feminisim, Blatant propaganda,  snowflakeness ... I think the first step there was when a Biologist made a comment that women in science were a distraction. Offcourse it was a sexist joke but the reaction to that was insane, Internet booing and jokes about him would have been enough, but his talks were canceled, He was probably fired and there were calls to take back his academic awards! The dawn of cancel culture. And we have no proof or even accusation of him actually being sexist and harming women in his career! Insane. This was first time I decided to step off the liberal train. 

blooger is a dinosaur

ya! isnt it? all the cool kids are on medium these days. Blogs used to be written by regular people who put their thoughts down like in an open diary. It was pre cancel culture and pre viral days. A bit safer to say things. Internet was still kind of new, and desktop was still the main portal to internet , not iphone. 

I guess now we have twitter for sharing thoughts?! Its not the same as long considered thought but who has the time for that?!  and it is perfect for small screen.

I used to like blogs and enjoyed the next blog feature to discover random blogs

http://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2011/09/next-blog.html

It was deprecated long ago, then I thought blogger is going to die. I m surprised, blogger is still alive :-) I was surprised when my blog turned 10 and still alive, now its 12 years. 

Sometimes I wonder if I should make it fully private,  Its not safe to express your thoughts these days and my blog even tho hardly anyone reads it, seems to be crawled by search sites .... 

Emperors new clothes

Are some of the girls who call themselves Transgender sexist?!

Hope they are all young teenagers, these people on reddit - who say they are transgender - trans men  because they dont like pink, because they feel they are not like other women, They like gaming, or because they are funny,  all the above and so on.

They are not only calling themselves trans, they are also diagnosing others - Oh that girl is trans because I felt the same before I came out etc! 

Because someone does not fit into the gender roles in the society - they label themselves trans!? They are not liberal or progressive, but they are steeped in stereotypes and they are sexist

 If you were black and you didn't like Jazz, would you call yourself trans white? (actually this is a thing, where some kids are shamed and called acting white when they defy stereotypes , so this is not isolated to this case!)

I wonder if these are people who are troubled teenagers with mental issues, Sure there are plenty of people with real gender identity disorder, but I am sure there are lots of confused young people who are calling themselves trans and nobody calls them out because of cancel culture. Nobody wants to tell the emperor he is naked for obvious reasons.

boyfriend?

Husband - This word has so much gravity and weight to it. It means something important. Fiancée does not do too badly. But boy friend?!? Its the same word people use to describe relationships of 11 years olds! For Gods Sake! 

Then 30 40 60 year old ppl have relationships with "boy friends"! They have children with their "boy friends". They dont believe in marriage which is fine but why is that relationship you have been in for 15 years and have 3 kids with - called the same name as a 2 week old juvenile relationship!?!  Why is a grown responsible working man, father, partner called a boy!? or a Friend even?!

LOL! Wrong no?!

I understand marriage is religious, for some it is too regimental, dont want to follow the rules of the society bla bla I am not even going there, but please! a better more worthy name for adult partners please!

ps: Same goes for girl friends and no capitals on purpose.

I wrote in this blog  http://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2021/04/how-should-one-bring-up-their-child.html

Another striking example was - today kids who are brought up by kind caring parents are doing very well for themselves, kids who are left to take care of themselves are getting into gangs and having a miserable life. No question about it that kind parents are doing better right? but What if - tomorrow war breaks out and situation turns out like in Syria or Congo or something? And their parents and relatives die? Who will do better in that chaos? Right? Every upbringing possibly has a silver lining - almost every one.   

 I was thinking of this in the context of Taliban taking over Kabul, The situation turned over night into a nightmare, It is exactly the situation where tough kids/tough adults may see that silver lining after all.

feeling nostalgic for things I have never had :) (Sofia)

Sofia Bulgaria, made me nostalgic. beatiful evenings, a long sunsets, slant sun rays and a mild breeze, beautiful parks, friends sitting on benches and talking, young and old, kids learning skate boards, kids running around.
Then late night, cool breeze, still busy parks with friends kids and old people - all cheeryful and carefree...
I love this, I love mild breeze and I love it when people are out and about at night, not trying to enjoy themselves like with shopping or partying or pubbing but hanging around like that, chilling.
I love it, It makes me nostalgic :D

Even tho such things were not part of my life AT ALL! Lol!!

 Even tho in my childhood there were no night visits to parks but .. Similar atmosphere was created rarely. When something very unusual happened ... every few years, something happened... just cant remember what - probably even serious things, like earth quake, or elderly neighbour passing away, may be a national tragedy like PM assassinated. Wait did this never happen under good circumstances? Lol! 

 All elders came out at night and started talking and us kids found a chance to run around and play at night under street lights with no one asking us to study. .. I associate such sweetness and such joy with such moments! :-)  Those were such treassured moments. Thats why it brought on nostalgia.

ps: This probably happend under good circumstances as well - Like when India won cricket world cup? Or may be even some weddings? but mostly it was under bad circumstances our parents forgot about us ! Lol! 

ps: Another thing I loved about Sofia is Sofia also had a culture of coffee houses, where old men sat and played some board game, and people just sat and chilled and chatted across tables. Oh How I love it! I love that culture. Apparently this is balkan culture. 

ps: Also another thing I loved about Sofia is they mistook me to be Bulgarian! Lol! I love it when that happens. Awww I look like one of you!! hehe ! I like.  To me, I dont look like them at all, but the number of times people just spoke to me in Bulgarian! :-) 

ps: I wrote a blog about imagining a place like this - :-) It is something close to my heart , this kind of atmosphere.  http://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2009/06/golden-evening.html

What is gender?

I think I have written about it before but lets go over it again

There is a physical gender - The body the genitals. Can be male, female , some times unclear.

There is the genetic gender XX female XY male, very interestingly, there is only one gene on the Y chromosome which makes the body male, XY body with that gene supressed produces a female body - probably infertile but never the less a female body.  Then there are XXX and XXY chromosomes. Which may lead to different physical genders. Different genetic genders map to the 3 physical genders roughly.

People with unclear physical gender were called Trans. 

Then there is sexuality.  Which gender a person is attracted to. Traditionally you are supposed to be attracted to different physical gender gender. Where does that put people with unclear gender? That issue is kind of swept under the blanket.

People who are attracted to different gender are called straight, to same gender are called gay, to both are called bi , attracted to none are called asexual.  You can be any physical gender and you can be any sexuality.

Then there is mental gender, which is unique from the physical gender . Most people have the same mental gender as their physical gender, but you may have opposite. For some people,  even tho physical gender is unclear, they may strongly identify with one physical gender. For some others, even tho physical gender is very clear, mentally they may be non binary, feel like one gender at certain times and another at other, or not feel like any particular gender at all. 

You can have any combination of mental gender physical gender and sexuality. Tho majority are same mental gender as physical gender and straight. The others are where it gets interesting and give us some insight into what gender is.

 Is it a social construct or a biological construct? Is it a scale? Or is it binary.  Like can someone feel like 50% woman, some one 100% woman ? does scale apply only to mental gender?  I find mental gender the most interesting , even sexuality is interesting as it is not obvious what causes it.  Again is it nature or nurture?  Is it hormones? How brain was formed at birth? Is it the hormones exposed to in the womb? Is it how you were brought up? 

I got a few answers from The Gene: An Intimate History by Siddhartha Mukherjee. 

There is evidence to show that male gayness may be genetic , inherited from the mothers side, it may be a gene/s on the X chromosome. Tho having the gene doesnot necessarily always make a man gay, they have not identified a single gay gene.  

They identified that mental gender is not determined by the society but it is hardcoded. For example kids with unclear genitals were brought up say as a girl, but if their mental gender was boy, they were very disturbed by it. They were very clear that they were a boy and not a girl. The behavious associated with a girl/boy may be dictated by the society, but whether u feel like a male or female is hard coded - I am not sure if this is a product of physical body or if it is just some construct in the brain. 

The book said the gender identity in the brain expected some hormones to exist in the body and became agitated( !! uncomfortable) if these were not present. It was found that transgender people felt some comfort or relief when they received hormone theraphy. It seemed as if the gender identity in the mind was satisfied when those hormones were found in the body.  ( Ok I m using words like agitated and satisfied as if our brain were a person, I m anthropomorphising so I can understand it easily ) So it is not all in the mind. 

I used to wonder why Trans people go to such lenghts to change the gender of their body, especially in the past when it was so risky you could lose your life ( The Danish Girl) , This may explain the compulsion. 

 Interestingly Yoga or Philosophy has another take on gender, It says its just another label, like nationality, self. so people who are enlightened lose the feeling of their gender. They dont feel like either man or woman. They just are. Soul after all is genderless. It is said that Buddhist monks and nuns who are deeply into meditation are in this state they dont identify with gender. 

Non binary - I find this very fascinating. This is similar to the genderless state of the monks - cultivated by the development of the mind by constant meditation. It means that the feeling of feeling like a man and like a woman is different and some one who is gender fluid experiences both!? 

I have always thought gender is something reinforced from outside. I never thought there is a feeling from inside like this. I wonder if I feel it?  

Still inspite of all this , when I read about accounts of non binary or about myself. Its still not clear what gender is to me. 

Dress wise, behaviour wise, I know I am most comfortable staying somewhat close to gender neutral but not quite. I wouldnt think of myself as non binary at all.  As an experiment I imagined myself with long flowing locks and it is uncomfortable. But I am conformtable with long locks braided up ( ala Lara Croft :-P ) . I m comfortable in a cute dress, a skirt ( female enough) but not in a saree . I m not comfortable in make up. Is this all about how it lines up with my mental image? Why is my mental image like this? Is this function of my taste or a function of the hormones in my body or how my brain is wired or what?! 

It seems like I am ok with gender but not with sexual maturity.

It is an interesting question to ponder. 

Rant

There was this guy Tejaswi Surya - a politician in Bangalore,  fucked with lives of 17 young innocent muslims, Openly on camera , to get some political milage. There was absolutely no fault of theirs, their names were listed, they were accused of crimes purely because they were muslim, knowing fully well there were not at fault. They were even fired at that time.  I was outraged by it. My blood boiled, how dare ! That bastard!  Lot of people were outraged - Voices were raised, and these guys were probably reinstated. But I noticed one thing -  the angry voices were all liberals. Strangely I didnt see much outrage from muslim groups! 

There are always some muslim leaders who are very sensitive and very fast to give out fatwas against these artists, you wrote a story, a cartoon, you showed the cartoon in school, - Fatwa!!! They raise hell, bray for blood. 

But nothing against this Bastard Surya?!! He is clearly an Islamophobe.  Isnt that strange?

Then I noticed there is no fatwa against any Islamophobes - Modi? yogi? Trump? Is there a fatwa? No...

Tasleema Nasreen, Sulman Rushdie, Charlie Hedbo - yes, These guys didnt fuck with any person because they are muslim , They do not hate muslims do they? I dont think so ... But still there are people enraged enough to kill them. 

Very strange the way religious outrage works.

We will fuck you if you fuck with the image of our religion, fair enough but we will let you off easy if you fuck with people of our religion?! Really?

I wonder if they target the weak - artists/press but not strong like politicians and thats why it is like that? 

Or do these Islamphobic b#####ds provide the exact fuel the religious leaders need to keep their influence going? Partners in crime a symbiotic relationship. You do the same to your religion what I do to mine and we both reap benefits.  Hindu outrage also has been towards film makers, painters etc

The follower fanatics are like mindless zombies ready to go where they are aimed at. The leaders are very logical and practical and very clever. Their agenda is clearly not the well fare of their own religion :-( It is to make fools of people and to control them :-( 

I hate how easy it is to fool people , people are like sheep, people are like mindless fucking zombies . I hates people. 

Denial or positive thinking

Avoid news it induces fear and anxiety, Dont think about politics is it ditry politics anyway.  Just try to be a good person and try to be happy. 

Even worse and malicious why are you always criticising the govt you are negative. When u keep analysing things u cant be happy. Being simple is the secret of being happy.

Is this  being positive?

Avoiding rabid news which is aimed at sensationalism , with loud noises and background music which puts block buster movies to shame. I totally agree.

But being removed from current affairs is that good?  

Should you ask for a promotion?

When I was not happy with my ratings at work and I told my parents at home. This is in my first job ( My manager had said I got a 4 but it was 3 on paper, or so I interpretted the situation, I was 21! ppl are stupid at 21! :D atleast I was! So we never know what went on over there ) 

After a few years in a conversation it came out that my dad was shocked by this, and he said he has never asked for promotions and hike at work and It was really strange to him that I am asking for better rating. Our work should speak for us was his moto! 

If you out there, never has to ask for a rise or a promotion, and were recognised for your work! Good for you. Well done! 

But What if, If you are that kind who didnot ask for a it and you dont get it?! 

So should work speak for you? Should you ask for that promotion, or that raise or that 5 rating? 

Does it mean your work didnot speak well enough for you, you are not good and you dont deserve it? Those people who got it are better than you? 

Nothing speaks for itself, I think the people whose work speaks for them have the organisation figured out. You whose work is not speaking needs a translator. :-)  

You may actually be - not good. Then u just get better!  You may be very good but doing tasks which are not important? You may be doing good and your work may be speaking but nobody is listening!?

Best would be to find out!  We could state our goal and ask for feedback about where we are now and 

how to close the gap.  I want that 5 star rating or that raise, What can I do to get it? 

Organisations are becoming more open and transparent and chance of this working is getting higher. 

That is the most growth mindset way to do it. We are all capable of improving.  Being open to objective and constructive feedback and acting on that feedback

State our goal our aim and then we can ask am I there yet? If not, how not? and  how to get there. 

( yes every blog of mine is about growht mindset :-) I find lot of our problems are because of our fixed mindset - comparions, self worth issues all are related to applying inherent and fixed value to ourselves and feeling ashamed of that value )  

So dad was wrong! Sometimes we get let our parents words or friends words infuence us so much and hold us back and affect our self esteem, Stop us from taking positive and proactive steps,  also make us harbour negative feeling about proactive people as playing politics or licking bosses ass.  

When they ask you to rate your self in the PDP, should you rate yourself a 3 and hope that your manager changes that to a 5!? No!? If you dont think you are good, who else will?!  Times have changed and so should the attitudes.  

Growth mindset

Comfortable trying for things people think I m not good enough for.  That people may be friends, manager, collegues, ... myself

Comfortable aiming big, aiming for things I may not achieve

Comfortable aiming for big things and failing

Comfortable being exactly where I am 

Trust my ability to learn and improve

Trust in my ability to deal with it, whatever the It is 

I m writing this to tell myself that is it ok! It is OK!  to ask - for promotion or that rise, for that last piece of cake! Its ok to ask for the moon and fail on a small chance that you may get it! 

mythology in day to day talk

How much mythology we use in day to day talk?
I use a lot! 
Anna heard only half of my sentence - Ashwathama Hato Kunjaraha
Shabari - always to justify unclean food habbits :D 
Shravan kumar - when some trying to over please his parents
Sati Savitri - always used derogatively 

Dharmaraya - sarcastically about someone being self rightious

Tandav when someone is acting up in anger
I use quite a lot of mythological stories as examples to think about day to day life actually. 

My niece asked my sister in law Was I born before your wedding or after! :-O ... She said after! Obviously! She says thank god! Otherwise you would have to give me away like Karna! :-O 

Dreams 2

Just last year I complained about my dreams http://mystic-babe.blogspot.com/2020/01/dreams.html

Happy to report this has changed, Thank you very much subconscious now a days it something like this- my friend gets run over - no no get crushed into pulp by a huge truck, my mother get alziemers and she stands naked(! :-O) on the street and tell everyone she is a man! And she is! Anatomically as well as for the beard like a Sadhu! My brother in law gets donated 5 Cr by a politician! Thats a good one - but my Mother in law asks him to give half of it to my husband ! LOL! and It got really awakward from there. Yes!  I got chased by Hippos, Crocodiles, Bats, Snakes in my Shirt!  I kept a lion as a pet and It got into a car in the forest and I just let it come home, but once it was home I was terrified that it will eat me! Lol! 

So looks like my brain has got netflix subscription these days! ;-) 

why do we say I am not good at this.

Admitting that I don't know something is a great quality, It indicates honesty and humility and gives me an opportunity to learn, which I would never get if I didn't admit it.
Granted!

Saying "I am not good at this! I m new to this" to people, before starting a presentation or when showing my  hobbies etc.  It indicates nervousness, shyness and apprehension. This statement is a safety blanket against failure, used by me to save myself from humiliation and judgement from other people.  Its like a stab at humility! We say it to prevent others from saying "you are not good at this". We are worried about what people will think , isn't that fixed mindset? 

Ok people are judgemental! but the trick is getting past that, for my peace of mind, for my growth.  people WILL laugh at a bad drawing or bad singing. 

You can do 3 things 

1) not sing in public until you are really good 

2) Not care at all what people do and keep singing 

3) Note that people are laughing but instead of taking offence use that as objective feedback.  

Only 3 is Growth mindset, not 2.

When we dont know  Ask others Ah! How do u do it? We can say Let me try! No need to say I m not good at this, People will know that u are not good at it anyway :-) 

Kisa Gautami and Savitri

Savithri's husband died very young. Savitri being a determined woman followed him alive to hell, She made Yama the god of death return her husband back to life. 
Where as Kisa Gautami was really traumatised my her sons death, she brought her son to Buddha and asked him to be brought back to life. Buddha asked her to get mustard from someone who has faced no death.  This made her realise death is part and parcel of life and helped her accept the death of her child and go beyond suffering. 
Yin and Yang! Should you accept or Should you make things happen? 
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. 
Wisdom to know the difference! 
Totally unrelated - mythology rocks, It is so part and parcel of my life,  I think of these examples of ideal people and ponder on their behaviour. Gods exist if not in real life, in my mind, They make my imagination and my universe so rich. It is not just lies and false stories, they teach us about life, I love it. 

Noticing better than judgement?!

I had written a blog about how we should replace judgement with understanding. In practice, this seems very hard - just not able to do.  continued with judging people :-)
so I have replaced understanding with noticing.

U dont have to decide what the people have done is good or bad just notice their behaviour
Instead of this thinking person is so selfish - always takes everything for themselves. Which makes you very frustrated and angry.  Instead we can just notice the behaviour like you would do to a Nat geo animal - This lion always kills deer when its hungry. you don't think this lion is a cruel bastard.

When we look at peoples behaviour like this, we may be able to find solutions or work around the behaviour without it bothering us. Instead of thinking this person should not do like this, we will think, they will behave like this so what will I do ? I think people who are good strategists think like this.

Understanding does not work because we are trying to make ourselves feel things which we dont feel. We are not feeling compassion for that asshole who is vandalising the shops. What ever their circumstances . But noticing without thinking "that asshole" is relatively easier :-)

Same applies to self as well, I usually undermine myself and make my behaviour worse by judging,

 I started noticing how very subtly I undermine myself, and how I dont have confidence in my own decisions so follow others decision even tho my own experience may be more and better and how I second guess my decisions. It is very subtle, its not hard words or intense emotions, its just small comments reminding of old mistakes or comparison with others negatively, or pointing out my faults.
so the solution is instead of judging myself, i.e instead of deciding this behaviour is good or bad, just notice my behaviour.  For example think my hands slipped and the glass fell, instead of thinking I am so clumsy, I can never carry anything, I dont pay attention etc.

Strive for

Strive for Success and you will get Stress

Strive for Excellence and you will get Success.

 ( Karma yoga in other words ) 

Thank you my dear reader !

Thank you my dear reader. Its been 12 years on this blog! I love writing and reading this for myself and I think one of the reasons for me continuing to be on it is you! 

Thanks you for asking me - Why no blogs!  Love you for that. Love you for taking time out of your busy busy busy life to read this and to care if I write or not! 

Lots of love! 

How should one bring up their child?

There are 1000s of ways, everyone is doing their own things and everyone is wishing for the best - who is right? Some are sending their kids to private schools, some are just saving that money in a bank and giving them when they are older. Some send their kids to lot of classes, some are just chilled, Some give their kids only organic food no candies, some give their kids lot of sugar. Some let their kids do only things they like and some ask their kids do things what parents want and is needed. Some will scold their kids some will just use soft words. Who is right? 

My conclusion was everyone was right.  Each type of bringing up will benefit the child in some circumstances and not in others.  Every situation and every decision seems to have both positives and negatives. And depending on how life turns out, different people will benefit out of it. 

For example 

Strategy 1 - These people believe - Give your child every oppurtunity possible. This type of kid will get such a big leg up in its career, it starts where other kids will take years to reach, so success is almost guarenteed.   On the other hand how will they learn to appriciate hardwork if parents made everything easy for them? Wont they buckle at the first failure?

Strategy 2 -Tough love. Parents decide that the child will learn more if they make it hard for the kid. This child will learn to be resilient and deal with lot of situations but may become hard and build resentment towards parents?  be tought with others who may see it negatvely. 

Another striking example was - today kids who are brought up by kind caring parents are doing very well for themselves, kids who are left to take care of themselves are getting into gangs and having a miserable life. No question about it that kind parents are doing better right? but What if - tomorrow war breaks out and situation turns out like in Syria or Congo or something? And their parents and relatives die? Who will do better in that chaos? Right? Every upbringing possibly has a silver lining - almost every one.  

I have always felt, kids with tricky parents learn to navigate around other people better, kids with nice parents have to learn to deal with bad people at an older age and it is harder. 

I gave this a lot of thought,  What can they teach their kids which will help how ever the circumstances turned out. So It has to be more of an attitude than skills, It has to be very fundamental .

For me it boiled down to only one thing which may give the kids best advantage in life no matter what.  

 Growth mindset and hence Resilience and the Belief that they can handle it.

If they teach kids to enjoy learning, to make them believe in improvement and learning instead of belive in god given/parent given gifts? get up after falling down, Enjoy failing, learning to look for new way to get out of a jam. What else is there? Life is a series of jams, the one who enjoys getting out of them - will be happy. They may become mechanic or become CEO of a multinational but they will not bow down, They will be happy.  No one can control what happens to them, we can control how we react, we can teach how to react. 

In any situation - they should think ok what can I do from here, Instead of thinking oh my god this has happened to me. 

Even in happy situations, Same, instead of gloating in their success. They will think that was awesome so what I do from here. What can I learn, How can I improve. 

When someone is better than them, they shud instinctive learn from the betters rather than compare and feel small . When some one is worse then them, still learn - why are they like that. and that will help improve ( helping people who are worse is not part of growth mindset, they may do it or not, but learning for self improvement is ) 

Isnt that the ultimate gift?

Same thing applies to me as well

It doesnot matter what decision I take in life, It will all have positive and negative consequences, there is no perfect solution but if I approach the situation with growth mindset, that is enough. 

Inspired by books:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Book by Carol Dweck

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway 

Book by Susan Jeffers