compassion day - social psycology course assignment

The dictionary defines Compassion as "Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it."

I define being compassionate as awareness,sensitivity,understanding and love. So when it came to practical terms - as to how to make myself more compassionate - I tried to be more sensitive - more tuned into myself and others, more understanding and less judgemental again first and foremost about myself then others and I tried to have a feeling of love in my heart and softness about myself. 

I decided to have this feeling in my heart and go about and see how differently I would behave today. 

 Is compassion offering a seat to a old woman or is compassion not offering a seat to that woman so she doesnot feel so old and weak? Is compassion giving the crying child the candy or teaching the child that the world doesnot revolve around it?

Rather than deciding to do a bunch of compassionate actions (because  I cant sometimes decide?!) , I decided to go with the flow just being more aware and keeping "compassion day" in my mind. 

May be because of the approach that I took, compassion day was more of an internal experience for me rather than an action packed outer experience. If you are familiar with Yin/Yang I guess mine was an Yin Compassion day. 

The first beneficiary was myself, I found myself quickly getting out of bed to get myself a glass of water, instead of ignoring thirst for few more minutes in bed. I also found myself walking to work, Its about 5 kms I always take the bus. The walk was a beautiful experience, I found myself noticing the dew drops on the leaves and spider webs. The huge trees, the canal, dad taking his daughter to school, loving parents,cute pets.  It was raining and 14 degrees, I am really surprised that I was enjoying the walk and appreciating rain drops instead of thinking $£##%%^ London! always raining :-)  You wont believe I just felt so elated and happy, I was jumping and yelping like an 8 year old(in a deserted stretch of the walkway ) I realised this wont happen every day I decide in my mind that I will be compassionate etc. May be it was the newness of it. ( I know because I am trying to be aware since like ages now. Its a very long way, the road to enlightenment) 

Second recipient was my husband, This man hasn't emptied the dish washer today!! ITS HIS TURN!!! My first reaction - He is such a lazy man. Then I realise that situations influence behaviour much much more than personality. Instead of blaming the person, examining the situation. I remind myself he came home late, he is studying for an exam... ok...

Also during news I caught myself stereotyping and generalising during news coverage of burqa or muslim face covering. 

The study on conformance helped me volunteer for a task at work when no one else on the team was forthcoming. and When I asked anyone else to help me - no one came forward. I looked at one  particular person and asked him to help :-) it worked. 

If your behaviour was different than normal, which person did you like more: the "Day of Compassion you" or the "normal you"? If you preferred the "Day of Compassion you," what are the psychological factors that prevent this "you" from coming out?

I obviously like the day of compassion me better, Its been a long time since I have decided to get on this band wagon. The main factor which makes me slip of the wagon is awareness. I forget to be aware that I have to be compassionate.

The main reason for being less compassionate is Ego/being shy, the fear of making a fool of myself. That prevents me from being more open and helping people. I found a dead fox on the street, I was walking alone, I moved it to the side, but when I saw a dead pigeon on the side walk and few other people were present. I didnt put it aside even tho I wanted to. 

I want to put my hand on that old lady's shoulder, she looks sad.  I am not sure would be offended or happy at being offered help. I m not sure an asian stranger talking to them would comfort or frighten them...and so it goes. 

What are the psychological costs and benefits of behaving compassionately? In your view, do the benefits outweigh the costs?

first and foremost benefit of behaving compassionately is to the person itself, the feel good. The sense of well being and genuine freedom. There are material costs and spiritual benefits to being more compassionate.

How did others respond to your compassion? Do you think they noticed a difference in your behavior? What attributions did people make for your behavior, and why?

Others didnot notice or comment on my compassion day, In fact I think I have really changed in past 7 years - being more aware, less angry etc, drastically infact but people still see the same old me. :-) First impressions matter.

If you wanted to encourage others to behave as you did during the Day of Compassion, what psychological techniques would you use? How can social psychology be used to foster a more compassionate society?

compassion works like chain reaction, When someone holds a door open for me, I hold a door open for the next person. When I see some one doing a good deed I do a good deed too.  

If you were to predict your behavior one month from now, do you think it will be changed as a result of participating in the Day of Compassion? If so, how? If not, why not?

I think my behaviour has changed by taking the social psychology course itself, now I can be more understanding and forgiving of people. the experiences have shown how we behave in automated manner, may be be due to obedience or due to conformance or diffusion of responsibility. Its human after all.  It has also reinforced in me the need for awareness.which is so so so important.

dil dhoonda ta hai phir wohi phursate ke raat din....
It was written in a different context but this is so apt of us people who are always waiting for the weekend...

dream

There was very smooth mud at my feet, It was a bright and sunny Indian afternoon, sun was high up in the sky, the mud was very ligth colored sand colored creme color. at first I didnt see anyting around me, then I bent down and touched the mud beucase it was sooo soft I liked to run it between my fingers, then I notices houses next to the street which was acutlaly like a river bed dry one.  I tried to go into the houses and realise they are very high. they have  the karnataka village jagali, which is two hight for me. I walk forward a couple of houses and then there is a house which has steps from the street, i climb up the jagali transforms from house jagali to temple jagali and as I climb I see a temple, finally the door step of the temple the inside is filled with shallow water with statues on pedestals just above water level, and there was a sky ight wiht light pouring in and reflecting on water. I think i saw laxmi on a lotus may be tara or Quan in.

I hate hand dryers

Not for hygine conditions and all that, I believe our body is capable of taking care of itself. but  They are so...almost like nails on blackboard! I hate them. So cruel on our ears.  and our hand our eyes and our senses and everything. I cant ever use one again if I can help it, Ill use toilet paper but not those.
I have always hated its noise, its abasaive so abarassive on the ears. When are we as a culture start noticing such thing and start being kind to ourselves.
beauty/scumptousness :D deliscious things..we should start paying attention to this ( am i getting oooold? old means really old - like 80 or something :D u should see the procelian boxes I am collecting :D I have looked up how to sew a quilt. ok thats another story)

so yeah! we should make things kind to us, nice on our senses, clever energy saving, good on nature - how about a handkerchief, or just wiping the hand on our backside :D comeon, its just water!? Its a left brain /yang thing making effective effecient things? what about beauty, what about how it feels to us. Come on right brain inventors! wake up!

peace

My place of peace with in me,
its always there.
Anger saddness joy, frustration,
thru all this, its always there.
sometimes I forget, sometimes I ignore, sometimes I look frantically and just dont find it
but its always there, waiting for me to come.
with open arms,
Thanks for being there,
I love you, my peace.
( peace peas and piece :P and pees :D ) 

ghanana ghanana ghan

.. gir ayye badira. This song made me cry! my poor county! my poor country people hankering for rain!
 How blessed this land is? UK I mean. how precious rain is for India, how unpredictable, how it holds our (atleast the farmers and village peoples) lives in ransom. Sometimes floods sometimes draught. And UK I have a garden, I havent had to water it even once, The soil is very fertile, look at the greenery around, Its snows badly once in 5 years, they may have floods once in 30 years... god or earth has been partial to this country. May be to small parts of India like bangalore too.
even in premitive days the tragedies of these people must be milder compared to our people? (Vikings and all? May be bangalore is more blessed :D out of the way of mauraders :D)
Even the african song rain rain rain rain beautiful rain...brings tears to my eyes... what is falling freely all around me all year round is so precious for them, adore love worship rain. dance joyously have festivals write songs about :D ( not sarcastic moany songs , cursing rain, like I would be tempted to write if I were a poet)

one person had brilliant idea and made a huge differentce to world

project guttenburg 

God bless him!

groups

Moralities course again.
Humans are naturally very prone to groupism. It is very inherent in our psychology .Just take a group of people and group them into Odd and Even, with in a short time people will have strong group loyalty for their group.
I also read somewhere that supporting sports teams is a way for people to engage in their tribalism, It must be really satisfying to do this kind of distinction.

But it is something we need to watch out for. It comes in the way of fairness. The whole world does it, I know. religionism, patriotism, casteism, regionalism, Aluminis, Clubs,  but I dont want to. Its wrong. Even tho it is natural, it is wrong. Its ok if I m disadvantaged because of this, but I dont favour favouritsm. We WILL find solutions which are good for everyone. This kind of groupism comes into picture because of belife in lack. people belive there is limited good that can happen and they want it for themselves. If you believe in unlimited good, in unlimited resources, in our own resourcefulness -if we believe that there is enough for all...we wont behave like this.


http://mystic-babe.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/us-vs-them.html

about why I m not blogging and then fittness bug bit me :P

I love blogging
Then why am I not blogging?
I dont have a laptop! you cant replace a laptop with a fluffy ipad. can you? That's what I have done !and stopped blogging, editing photos, downloading torrents, Do courses and lots of other meaningful things u can do with a computer.  Ipad is a waste  for anyone older than 10.
I have also stopped thinking. Is that even possible? but it seems to have happened. I used to sit alone and think, interesting and amusing things. There is no shortage of alone time, it is filled with fittness and health goals! Its the new sickness. everyone has got it, fittness bug :-) Its a good thing? sort of but its almost like a disease.
Boys in my team who spend hours everyday drinking beer have become teetotellers, they drink orange juice and spend those hours in gym.
I spend all those thinking hours still thinking but about what to cook tomorrow and how to cook more healthy so that I lose my first one kilo, My frustrating quest for weight loss puts even Robert Bruce and his spider to shame.
Would I suddenly be really happier if I were 60 kilos instead of 64? Then why all this effort? I put up that question for fun but seriously? The changes I m making are not bad, fittness and health are the most important.

being a certain weight or certain diameter wont make me happy but
If I felt fresh and energetic after work instead of being exhausted, I would be happy.
If I was very healthy and didnt get sick at all I would be happy. 
If my brain was less foggy
if I could freshen up fast in the mornings. 
If I could be of more solid temperment
less anxious about future
more contented about today
more meaning 
more mystery and exploration
got good sleep and good dreams
Really being able to do more push ups or run 10 k, would that make me happy day to day? may be not. or may be. 
just doing that bit of workout is very rewarding, It feels awesome. thats why people get addicted.

see! This is why I am nit blogging! 

dream

Awesome dreams, Its like suddenly my dream machine has upgraded or something to more meaningful interesting programmes.

South american god?evil? some very powerful spirit. me and two other people,(people from my world but now I dont remembe who)  we went on a trek and did some forbidden things and woke some reeally ancient truely evil spirit which was chasing us! Now, how do I get out of this? om namah shivaya! :D  Dont remember if this saved the day, but  I was alive at the end of the dream .

I remember considering options, Ancient south american gods are not so formidible, I can go consult shamans... but looks like I am really scared of south american god people. I have read some really interesting stories about aztects and stuff which have painted a bad picture. but ayahuasca is not so dark, actually its all new ageny, good feel stuff....

wow alienss last week and now gods! its awesome

ursula le guin

My god, Ursula leguin is clever! her stories are really mind blowing. Imaginative but so intelligent, many of the stories are written pondering social issues, almost scientific, she is more like a social scientist, or a anthropologist for her imaginary people. It is not fiction at all, it is science, it is more like a thesis or something.  The coherence of the worlds! impeccable! Even tho it is fantasy I feel like it is very likely to happen, like real. My mind is blown, her stories are hard hitting. Her imaginary worlds are sometimes disturbing. The one where men are treated as prized sires, so disturbing. (Ok I am not a feminist, I am a humanist, I dont want such suppression of any people, man woman,black, white! none! ) Heavy stuff But I love her!

ps: Infact her parents were actually antropologists, I think that influenced her deeply. She uses this knowledge to experiment with her feminist and left leaning ideologies. Beautiful!

originality is overrated?

I get very irritated when people dont have original ideas, when they parrot societies or popular opinions. This is how it is done! elders have said! It is written in Bible! (or Kuran or Puran :P) I am screaming in my head, But why? Why not some other way? May be they were wrong?? have you never cared to ask?
God! These people should do some thinking on your own! Then I got thinking, Should they? What if they are not very smart? :P what if their original ideas turn out to be crap? :D Then aren't They better off copying or imitating other successful or smart people? I have seen not so smart people become quite successful cause their parents are smart and they copy faithfully their parents style and thoughts. Is that a bad thing?  Not for some! hmm offcourse its their luck that they found the right person to copy. Thats why societies made rules, cause societies dont trust most peoples' smarts :P

Then why get irritated m'am! ( Be condasending instead ;) )

What we do is mostly copying - imitating. Its not a bad thing, it is the way we learn. its the quickest way to progress. see kids. imitation makes them quick learners. that is a sign of intelligence actually. even cats and dogs do imitation :) Knowing whom to copy is a great skill. Copying is a good servisable skill but Originality is where the magic happens.
If copying is like breeding and originality is like the mutations, Its where the  growth and evolution happens! Originality is not over rated by friend, Its how life itself happens! wah wah! wah wah!

profound

After the hard kettlebell class, I said Thank You Ben! The girl next to me said the same n then says to me , I dono why we thank him for torturing us :-) 

So true! 

 Why dont we do that to life? Why dont we thank life for being a hard task master? Why dont we feel so great after a great lesson by life :-) 

Cant we treat life like a hard fitness class? love the hard bits because we know its making us stronger,better every minute? Find pure joy like we do when we are gritting our teeth n doing that one more push up? 

 Can we? its just an attitude change after all?